About a Ron
by yvj
Summary: Kim and Ron have long since broken up and after a bad relationship and a few months apart. Ron tries to resume their friendship, only to discover that there are still fireworks.
1. About a boy

A/N This is a new story I'm working on and although the plot starts off very similar to another story of mine called Through the Years. This will of course be different. The problem is I think I got Ron and Kim together too quickly in that story. So their eventual relationship will take some time. Trust me this story will be a little harder to predict.

(Insert I don't own KP disclaimer here)

* * *

**Intro to Jimmy Hendrix's Voodoo Child begins to play**

**"Yo this is Ron"**

**Song continues**

**"You know what to do"**

**Beep**

**Hey, Ron this is Elizabeth, I think I might have left some stuff over at your place. I was wondering if you could just drop them off at my house… Ok bye.**

_Wow _

Ron thought about the current sitch as he lay in bed. From listening to that call you would have thought Elizabeth was a good friend of his; or at the very least a casual acquaintance, not someone who had just dumped him less than twenty-four hours ago. It took almost a full minute for him to comprehend how cruelly casual that call was. It was as if nothing had happened between them. Either he was already a distant memory or their four-month "relationship" had not registered at all in her brain.

Obviously, she was insane; no sane person would nonchalantly call someone he/she had just cut loose less than a day ago and tell him or her to drop off their stuff at their house.

He sat up on his bed. "I've been dumped by a mad woman." Somehow, it didn't make him feel any better, but it was a great excuse to be depressed.

Oh no this wouldn't just be depression, this would be straight up, full blown angst, the kind of angst that would make Shakespeare cry. He pulled the curtains down on all the windows in the room and turned off the lights.

He headed for the computer and pulled up a playlist of depressing music. You couldn't be miserable without sad music.

_Did you listen to the music because you were sad or were you sad because you listened to the music?_

Ah who cares, as long as he was miserable that's what was important. Oh yeah this would be a funk to end all funks. He ran through the list of songs

Leave an Open Door by Roger Clyne

Don Henley's The End Of the Innocence

Alanis Morissette's You Oughta Know

Call and Answer by Barenaked Ladies

If You Don't Love Me, Lie To Me by Bon Jovi

How's It Going To Be? By Third Eye Blind

_Sweet _

A variety of breakup songs on a continuous loop will screw up anyone's day. The only way it could get any more depressing was if it rained.

There was a knock on door.

"Ron, Quarter Life just came in the mail today and I can safely say it's the best game I've ever played."

"Sorry Felix, I'm too busy being angsty and emotional."

"Oh, ok."

Ron plopped down on his bed. He was going to bring himself really down, now was the time to wallow in his insecurities, to analyze ever weakness he had, and boy there were many.

Just as the first song came wafting through his computers small speakers, a blast of loud music came from downstairs.

_What the heck? _

The music was so loud that it was drowning out his speakers; it was coming from Felix's room, which was directly below his.

"_Don't worry, be happy, the land lord say your rent is late. He may have to litigate _

_Don't worry, be happy"_

Ron stamped his foot against the ground. How could anyone be depressed with this sappy song coming through? It was impossible.

"Turn it down," Ron shouted. Of course, Felix turned it up.

Felix was single handedly ruining his day of misery. Ron rushed downstairs and banged on Felix's door.

He opened the door. _"Put a smile on your face, don't bring everybody down like this. Don't worry, it will soon past."_

"Hey bro."

"Felix," Ron sighed, "please, I'm trying to wallow in sadness."

Felix showed mock surprise. "Really, cuz some chick broke up with you? That's a little cliché, don't you think?"

And there it was, a small piece of wisdom that was so stupid it made perfect sense. Felix was right, it was a bit cliché, and looking at it objectively it took a considerable amount of energy to be miserable.

"Alright," Ron conceded, "hand me a controller."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Ron lived in a house off campus with three of his friends. Well, Felix was his friend, the rest were roommates he couldn't avoid. Phil Hornby and Richie Alvito; well truthfully they weren't that bad as roommates. In fact all four of them had common interests. They even worked together at a comic book store in town.

The house they lived in was, essentially, livable. Although it did look like it would bowl over at the slightest strong wind, it was at least handicap accessible.

"Geez, I've got to get to class," Ron said, after spending the rest of the morning playing games with Felix. "Where's Phil?"

They entered the kitchen just as Ritchie Alvito sat down at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal.

"How's it hanging Ritchie?"

Ritchie pushed his glasses up with his finger. "Nothing, just eating breakfast; Special K." Ritchie was a bit chubby and he insisted in eating special K for breakfast. Unfortunately, he usually washed it down with chocolate milk.

"Breakfast? It's two o clock in the afternoon. You were out late again, right?"

Ritchie gave him a what-are-you-going-to-do-shrug. "Sex is the only grown-up thing I know how to do, and nobody's ugly after 3 a.m."

"And yet you've never picked anyone up. What does that say about you Ritch?" Felix laughed.

"Hey Ron," Phil called out as he entered the room. Phil was even skinner than Ron; if girl scouts robbed him, no one would be surprised.

"Good Phil, hurry up, we're late for class."

"Right," Phil agreed. "By the way, I'm sorry about what happened."

"Huh? Sorry about what?"

"Ron," Ritchie started, "that shirt you're wearing is the most god-awful thing I've ever seen."

Phil nervously glanced at Ron. "Uh, the breakup. You and Liz…"

_The breakup? It was only yesterday and Felix was the only one he told about it._ "How did you know about that?"

"Seriously Ron, I can't be friends with someone who wears a shirt like that."

"The whole school knows about the breakup," Phil said. "People are talking man, people everywhere."

"Are you serious?"

"That shirt is a sin to man and God. It should be hidden away like the ark of the covenant at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark."

"Oh and…" Phil slowly sidled closer to Ron, "….that story about the olive oil and the vacuum, is that true? Because it was, like, wow, I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff."

Ron was taken aback. "The story about what? I'm into what?"

"I swear that shirt is----"

"Shut up about the shirt!" Ron screamed at Ritchie, and then he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry man."

"Don't worry about it, we all go a little mad sometimes."

"Norman Bates Psycho," Felix said quickly.

Ritchie replied with a "bingo."

Ron put his head in his hands. "I can't believe everyone already knows about the breakup."

"Dude," Ritchie said, as he took in a mouthful of cereal, "this is the best thing that could happen to you. Now you've got the sympathetic guy angle working for you."

"What?"

"Think about it dude. All the chicks know you've been dumped, so you use that as an angle. You know you speak quietly, slowly, thoughtfully. Talk a little about Elizabeth and how she broke you're heart, and you'll get so much extra tail."

"You know Ritchie, maybe I'm not looking for 'extra tail'."

Ritchie stood up with a look of disgust on his face. "How many chicks have you been with?"

_What?_ "Two," Ron answered.

"Two?" Ritchie looked around at the others as he shook his head. "Two he says." He pointed at Ron. "You have a Congressional Medal of honor, don't you?"

"Actually I've got three."

"He's got three medals of honors for helping save the world. He won American Starmaker, Naked Mole Rap was the number one single in America for two months, he's been a multimillionaire, and he's been to freaking space. But he's only been with TWO CHICKS! Does anyone else find that insane?"

"Ritch calm down," said Felix.

"No! Millions of guys would sell their souls for those credentials. First he moped around after Kim broke up with him, now this. He's wasting his single status. Frankly, I find his lack of initiative offensive."

He pointed at Ron again. "You sir have offended me."

"Me not getting a lot of chicks offends you?"

"Yes it does! You're wasting your potential man. You could be the big cheese on campus and we could be your entourage. Then there would be tail for everyone. Its win-win baby, win-win."

Ron rolled his eyes. "I don't have time for this. Phil, let's go to class."

Felix and Ritchie watched as they walked out the door. "That should give him something to think about," Ritchie told Felix

"Was that really necessary?" Felix asked.

"I'm doing him a favor as a friend. There should be a turnstile in front of his room with girls waiting in line. He has no idea how attractive he could be… to the opposite sex I mean, and I say that as a very heterosexual male," Richie said quickly.

"Of course," Felix replied.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_The following is a list of issues that have been in the news recently. Identify each issue as related to macroeconomic (MA) or microeconomics (MI) and explain the basis for that answer._

_1Welfare reform_

_2Deregulation of electrical production in Texas_

_3Replacing the current federal tax system with a flat tax_

_4The trade deficit_

_5Texas' property equilization tax reform (Robin Hood)_

_6The price of oil_

_7Consumer confidence_

_8E commerce_

_9Banking deregulation_

_10The Euro_

_11The federal surplus/deficit_

Ron stared down at his test and for the first time, he realized that he was a college junior. It had taken around three years but it had finally dawned on him. If things went well, he would be graduating in less than two years. However, he had no clue what he would be doing after that. So far, his master plan was to wake up late, work sometimes, and strike oil.

Goodness, it was rare to see a test so hard it made a person reflect on his own life.

_I don't think, therefore I am not._

He looked around the room and saw people scribbling furiously into their test papers. He continued to scan and was relieved to find some of his other classmates, including Phil, staring blankly at their test paper, with looks of self-loathing on their face.

He was relieved; failing was always easier when other people were failing with you

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"'You need someone who will love you completely, not someone who'll love you comfortably.' That's what's Kim told me before our 'mutual' breakup."

"Jeez… that sucks."

Ron sighed. "You sure do have a way with words Phil."

From the bleachers they were sitting on, Phil looked down at the cheerleaders who pranced around the field, practicing their cheers.

Phil's eyes did not miss a beat. "Is there any doubt that Middleton U has the most attractive cheerleaders in these United States?"

"You don't have to tell me twice. I went to high school with most of them, I was the team mascot."

"If it isn't the Ron-man"

Ron turned around to see Monique take a seat below them. "Haven't seen you around here for awhile, so how are you dealing?"

She was obviously talking about the breakup. Ron shrugged. "Looking back on it, I've been through worse."

"Atta boy, don't let these things get you down. Chalk this up as life experience. Now that you've been through a bad relationship, you should be more certain of what you want in the future."

"I don't need to have leprosy to figure out I don't want it."

Phil chuckled. "Listen to Monique, never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway."

_Ugh, there is nothing worse than when a person gives you cookie cutter advice they believe to be profound. _

"Monique, isn't it great to have a bumper sticker as a friend?"

She laughed. "Bitter much."

"I have a right to be."

Phil turned to Ron. "Ok, so why did you and Kim really break up and stop saying you grew apart."

"If anybody did any growing it was Kim. Ron's been the same for as long as I've known him." Monique chimed in.

Ron would have argued with her but it was too hot.

The thing about their mutual breakup was that if it were up to him, they would still be together. There was no way that he would have initiated the breakup, no matter how bad things got. But he had reluctantly went along with the separation, even though he semi-agreed it would be for the best.

What was funny was that everyone assumed since they had been friends for so long, the transition to dating would be easy. Ha… please, dating changed everything. Every single second since the junior prom, he felt like he was walking on a narrow fence, or maybe a tight rope.

He knew deep down that Kim didn't care about stuff like his lack of money or nice clothes etc, but it still bothered him to no end. He became depressed that he couldn't give her the stuff she wanted. Then, when they got to college and she surrounded herself with successful people, things just got worse. You couldn't blame her, she knew her future was bright. His future on the other hand was about as bright as an eclipse.

There was always that nagging feeling in the back of his head that said he wasn't good enough for her. Sometimes it was even hard for him to understand exactly what she saw in him.

Hey, you spend most of your life believing in the food chain it was hard to stop believing in it.

Call it self-sabotage if you want but the fact is they were now broken up. Kim took morning classes Ron took afternoon classes, so he used the conflict of schedule excuse to avoid her.

"Growing apart, is the best way to explain what happened," he said.

"Please," Monique replied.

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means whatever I want it to mean."

Monique and her mind games. She always gave hints that she knew allot more than she should, but she never revealed what she knew, if anything.

"You know what's funny; Elizabeth looks a little like a dark haired version of Kim."

She also enjoyed teasing him with obvious and undeniable truths.

Ron looked away. "Really, I never noticed it."

"Of course you wouldn't. Hey, is that story about the olive oil true?" Monique asked.

"What olive oil story?"

"I've got it," Phil exclaimed. "We'll throw a huge party this weekend." With a look of excitement of his face, Phil rushed off.

"What the hell was that about?"

_God, looks like I won't be sleeping this weekend._ "That's how he gets, whenever one of us feels down. Phil thinks its time to hold a party. It's kind of mental if you think about it." Ron positioned himself to sit next to Monique. "Hey Mo, you're friend of mine, right?"

"Unfortunately"

"Hypothetically if I ask how Kim's relationship with her boyfriend is going, you wouldn't tell her I asked right?"

"Hypothetically?"

"Yes."

She smiled. "I guess I could keep that piece of info to myself."

"Good, good… nice day today huh?"

"Yep"

"Yeah it's a beautiful day…...by the way how's Kim and Ian's relationship?"

"What don't you ask her?"

Ron looked up to see Kim that Kim and the rest of the cheerleaders had disbanded.

"Hey," Kim said to him, "how are you holding up?"

"It is what it is."

She smiled. "Thanks for that zen moment. That was really profound."

"Hey Stoppable, looks like you're 0 for 2."

Bonnie… he and Bonnie historically have always had communication problems. She didn't know when to shut up.

"If it means anything," she called out as she walked away, "I think Brian is a bigger loser than you."

_Brian? Who the hell was Brian?_

Kim stared darkly at Bonnie, she had let Brian's name slip on purpose "don't worry about that, Bonnie is just being her usual witchy self."

_Brian?_

"Haven't seen you in awhile, since last semester actually," Kim said, trying to change the subject.

_How can there already be a Brian, we broke up yesterday unless…_

"Ron focus."

Ron snapped back to reality. "Oh yeah Kim, sorry"

"Alright, I've got a class," Monique said, "I'll catch you two later." She walked off and left Ron and Kim alone.

"So," she said.

"So," Ron repeated.

"What classes are you taking now?"

"Classes? I could have sworn we were in college."

She smiled and so the ice was broken. Although why there would be any ice between two people who had know each other for almost two decades was a mystery onto itself.

"You know what they say Kim, college is like a woman; you work so hard to get in and nine months later you wish you'd never c---"

"Ok, stop right there, I get it."

"Wait let me finish," he pleaded. "I've waited three months to use that joke, this is the first time I've had the opportunity."

"No, its fine, I get it."

"Please KP… ok; I know it's might sound a little dirty…"

"Ron, no."

"Fine… you're no fun… its really funny though."

"I'm sure it was."

Ron stretched. "I'm coasting through life as usual… what about you?"

"Well, I'm taking twenty credits this semester and I joined Phi Bata Capa, and I'm interning at-----"

As she listed off her current activities, Ron couldn't help but notice how little he had done in three years. Maybe graduating with a C average was not enough to get by in the world… then again; maybe Kim had no idea what being a college student truly meant.

"Oh my god," he interrupted, "do you have time for any fun?"

"Exaggerate much? Yeah, I will admit I'm taking on a little too much this semester but hard work never killed anybody."

"Yes, but did you ever know anyone who rested to death?"

"You're the only person I know who can rationalize procrastination and laziness. Seriously, how are you dealing with this whole Elizabeth thing?"

Ron placed his hand under his chin. "How am I dealing with this, isn't that the question of the day? Well I've thought about alcohol."

"Ron, alcohol doesn't solve any problems."

"True, but you can say the same thing about water too."

They began to walk "Ron, be serious."

"You want to know how I feel, imagine a wake and remove all the festivities."

"So you loved her?"

A man could interpret a million things from a woman's tone of voice. He could spend countless hours wondering if there was any meaning behind her words. But this required too much mental energy and it was much too hot for that.

"I wouldn't say love but I was beginning to get used to the idea of spending a long time with her."

'Hmmm"

"But maybe it's for the best; I did kind of jump into the relationship after… you know." Jumped in was an understatement, he practically attached himself to the first pretty face that smiled at him.

"That is true; it didn't really take you that long to get together with her did it?"

He was getting a vibe here, her tone and her words were open to interpretation. But once again he wasn't up to spending the mental energy.

"When you're a little boy, girls are just other people. You either hang around girls or you don't, it didn't matter, and then all of sudden its like whoa these aren't girls but 'girls'. The second you notice the difference its over, you've been cursed. Then you wake up one morning as a twenty one year old college student, who has just been dumped from the second longest relationship he is ever had and is currently wondering if he'll spend the rest of his life alone… its sad really." Ron paused after his rant. "I really missed yo….talking to you like this; we should start doing this again."

"Oh, so you want to be best friends again, but to do that you'll have to stop avoiding me."

_All right, that rather stung. _

"I'm sorry about all that----"

"Don't worry about it," she interrupted, "all is forgiven"

"Thanks KP….How about we get something to eat. What do you feel like, its my treat."

She looked surprise. "Your treat huh, that's unusual," she teased. "Hmm… actually, I feel like having a root beer float."

"Root beer float? Alright since we're going back to 1955 maybe I can have a girl bring us one while she roller skates to my old jalopy."

They laughed heartily and continued walking.

_Brian?_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"'And you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes, like a doll's eyes.'"

"Please Phil that is the easiest one so far. Quint from Jaws played the late great Robert Shaw," said Ritchie. "Something harder please, I beg of you"

Ron sat at the register of the comic book store as he watched Ritchie and Phil argue over something asinine. That's how it was at this store, there weren't many customers so the staff usually just argued amongst themselves about irrelevant topics. Normally, he would be right there with them but his talk with Kim had given him some things to contemplate

It was then that Felix entered the store. He pointed to someone who followed him into the store. "This guy wants to apply for a job."

"Hold on," Ritchie exclaimed, "I'll handle this." He walked over to the new guy. "Excuse me sir, what are your opinions on the first Fearless Ferret movie?"

"I though it was cool," the young man said simply

Ritchie nodded. "Uh-huh… get the hell out."

"What?"

"Sir, we are a professional establishment and we can't have amateurs such as yourself messing up our chemistry."

"Excuse me?"

"Get the hell out!" Ritchie shouted at him until he turned and huffed out of the story.

"What are you doing?" Ron asked, "you can't scare people away like that, we need help in here."

"We don't need his help; any one who has such poor taste in movies does not belong in our circle."

'Oh come on, just because he liked the movie."

"No true comic book fan can express anything positive about that movie. I mean, the Fearless Ferret didn't know how to use the Ferret Blade for Gods sake, its complete insanity."

"Come on you're such a snob, you did the same thing to Guy last week!"

"Guy?" Ritchie said with complete and utter shock. "Guy thinks Bobba Fett is still alive!"

"You know…" Phil started

"Don't start with me Phil," said Ritchie. "I swear I will go ape in here."

Ron threw his hands up in defeat.

"How does freedom feel?" Phil asked.

Ron thought about it "Joe, played by Lawrence Tierney, Reservoir dogs, 1992" Ron replied as headed back to the register.

"Actually that wasn't really a movie quote; good job on that by the way; I was really asking you about your new found single status."

"Oh… It's a change."

"Oh God! Are you still hung up on that?"

Felix rolled his eyes "Here we go. Ritchie, remember your blood pressure."

"You know what you're problem is Stoppable, you believe in love."

Ron looked around the room. "So?"

"There's no such thing as love man, it's an illusion. You've fallen into the trap created by Hollywood, hallmark cards, and Disney cartoons. You need to open your eyes and realize nobody has a 'soul mate', why do you think so many people are divorced. People don't fall in love, they settle dude, they settle."

"Ok I get it."

"Good. Now when this party comes up, you need to stroll up to some chicks and go 'Hey, I'm Ron Stoppable. I'm a B list celebrity, I've been to space, and I'm the best thing that'll ever happen to you.' Ritchie paused. "Hey that's pretty sweet." He pulled out a pen and a notepad. "I'm going to use that in my fanfic."

"You write fan fiction?" Felix asked.

"Yeah, Ron does too, we post ours online."

"Ron, tell me that's not true."

He blushed. "I dabble." Felix groaned.

"I tried it once. I posted ten chapters and got two reviews, and other dudes were getting twenty reviews per letter. I don't know how you do it man, I'm too sensitive for writing."

"Phil you've got to remember, it's not about the reviews, it's about the art!" Ritchie exclaimed.

Felix lowered his head "You guys are complete losers."

"I'm a loser? This from the guy who thought Nightmare on Elm Street 3 was better than NOE 2. Please! Besides, there's nothing wrong with fanfics, especially a little smuff, you know what I'm talking about Ron, Phil?"

"Smuff?

"Smutty Fluff."

"God, it just gets worse and worse."

Ron watched the argument in fascination. In the world of comics, music, movies and fanfiction, you didn't have to worry about politics, school, love, or even your future. If he had it his way, he would work in this store for the rest of his life, laughing it up with his friends.

But of course, this was no way to make a living. Eventually he would have to get a steady career to support someone other than himself, pay taxes, eat food high in fiber and then eventually die. The best he could hope for is if there was someone beautiful crying at his grave.

"Ron!"

He came out of his daze. "Yeah?"

'Top five guitar solos all time"

"Easy; All Along The Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix; Freebird by Allen Collins; Cause We've Ended As Lovers by Jeff Beck; Hotel California by Don Felder; Layla Eric Clapton and Duane Allman; and finally Sweet Child O' Mine by Slash G&R."

"Great list except for one thing. You forgot Comfortably Numb by the great David Gilmour of Pink Floyd!"

"Every time we talk about music you've got to bring up that band."

"Pink Floyd sucks."

'That's it, I'm walking out! I swear to God, I'm walking right out of this store! And I'm never coming back."

"Fine then, just leave"

_Ah Good times_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day

"Excuse me." Ron said to the man sitting at the end of the aisle, "did I accidentally hit you with my elbow when I got up to go to the bathroom?"

"Yes, yes you did," the man said indignantly.

"Good, I forgot what row I was in, thank you," Ron said as he brushed past the man.

A moment later, he took his seat next to Kim and she handed him some popcorn.

"I can't believe you've got me here watching a chick flick."

"Its not a chick flick, it's a beautiful story about---"

"Chick flick," Ron interrupted.

She took a sip of her soda. "Trust me, you'll like it, there's a pretty steamy scene in this movie."

"I hate sex in movies."

"Really?" she said with disbelief before taking another sip of her soda.

"Yeah, you don't know where to put your popcorn, you drop your candy on the floor, the cushions are too hard, and people start staring…"

It took everything Kim had from doing a spit-take. She swallowed the soda in her mouth. "You almost made me spit coke all over the place," she laughed.

He grinned. "Well the night's still young."

"So I'm guessing you are feeling better today?"

It doesn't really take long to get over a bad relationship. Well, at least he thought it was a good relationship when he was in it; but Kim didn't have to know that.

"I'm doing a little better." He sighed. "The main problem with rejection is that the person doesn't want you at all. If there was any chance that she wanted me back, I'd tell her to 'Piss off' and I'd do it in a British accent."

"Hmm, what if I wanted you back, what would you say then?" She said nonchalantly.

_Whaaaaaaaaaatttttttttt?_

"I…I…I…I"

The lights in the movie theater dimmed.

"I…I…I…"

"Shhhh," Kim said, "the movie's starting." She turned to the screen.

"I…I…I…"

"Shhhhh," said a couple behind them.

Ron stuffed a handful of popcorn into his mouth to keep from stammering aloud.

_What was that is she playing games with my head? That wasn't fair, coming out with something like that without warning a guy first. _

Ron didn't realize he was supposed to be watching a movie until about a half hour in.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You're crying," she laughed, as they exited the movie theater.

"I'm not crying," he turned his head so she couldn't see his face, "I got popcorn butter in my eyes."

"You are so crying," she chuckled. "I take it you enjoyed the movie?"

He sniffed. "I did, the ending was a little too happy though."

"What?"

He sighed. "People don't find each other like that, it's too convenient, and it's never really that easy to find someone."

"Don't worry, you'll find the right person for you."

"No one is right for me," he said quickly. "First of all, every woman I approach can immediately see my weaknesses, it's like my faults are written on my face."

"You always did know how to exaggerate."

"Exaggerate much?" He turned and saw a young woman walking towards them. "Excuse me Ms," he ran towards her, "excuse me, what do you think about me?"

She studied his face. "Well you're cute and all, but I'm getting a 'he's directionless' vibe from you."

"Thank you," he said, before letting her go. Ron gave Kim a look as if to say 'see'.

"Ok, point well taken. But Ron, you're a sweet, funny and sensitive guy, any girl would be lucky to have you."

He was tempted to say, '_what about you then?' _However, he went the safe route with a joke instead. "You're right, I may not be totally perfect, but most of my parts are pretty good right?"

"Right" She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "You'll be fine, how about we go to Buneo Nacho?"

"K," he said, as he rubbed his cheek.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Felix's fingers danced across the controller as he lost himself in his new game. Suddenly, through the corner of his eye, he spotted Ron wordlessly entering the room and taking a seat on Felix's bed.

"Nice move," Ron said.

"Yep," Felix agreed.

Ron coughed then he sighed. He looked up at the ceiling, and sighed again.

"You want to talk about something dude?" Felix asked.

"Nah, nah… I just came back from the movies with Kim."

"Have a good time?"

"Yeah, yeah good time"

"Uh huh," Felix paused, "and you still love her right?"

"Oh yeah," Ron lay back on Felix's bed, "never really stopped."

Felix resumed the game. "So what are you going to do?"

"Nothing, that's what I'm going to do, she's seeing someone, and part of me is still angry at her for breaking us up in the first place."

"I thought you said it was mutual breakup."

"Of course it wasn't mutual; I only went along with it because I thought it was what she wanted."

"As your best male friend, I must advise you to discuss your feelings with Kim."

"No, the last time I did that it ended up with us going out for two years, then breaking up, then I stopped talking to her for a few months, and replaced her with a bad relationship. Nah, not going to happen again, I'll be like any normal guy and suppress my feelings. I've got self control."

"You've got about as much self control as two rabbits on a first date."

"Mock me if you must Felix, but I've made up my mind."

"'This will only lead to tears'"

"Bartok the Bat, Anastasia 1997 voiced by the fantastic Hank Azaria".

"Nice," Felix grinned. "You're good."

"Thanks, now hand me a controller. Right now, I'm not too fond of reality."

* * *

A/N Alright I'm going to try a low key High Fidelity (great movie, great book) type of romantic comedy thing. 

……Who am I kidding I have no idea what I'm doing. But it'll be fun finding out won't it

You know that feeling you have when you get off the first chapter of a new story. Your self-esteem is at its peak and you will feel like you're on top of the world. You know what makes that feeling last? Reviews...Thanks for reading now I'm off to Middlewood.


	2. Games pt 1

A/N First of I would like to thank everyone who helped make the first chapter the most successful chapter (in terms of reviews) I have ever written. With twenty-one reviews so far, I am amazed the chapter got such a great reaction. Thank you all :)

Second: Some of you guys wanted to know why the broke up write off the bat. Sorry folks that is not my style. Oh, I will give you clues I'll give you hints and flashbacks, enough for you to probably figure it out for yourself. However, for how and when it went down exactly oh you would have to wait for that one folks. If you really want to find out you will just have to keep reading (insert maniacal laughter)

FYI bold type equals flashback. There are uh ahem adult situations in this chapter

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**  
He tried, but he couldn't take it anymore. He had never been the one to walk out of a lecture, no matter how boring it was. Unfortunately, the breakup had destroyed what little concentration he had, listening to the professor drone on about Microeconomics had become unbearable. It was no longer a classroom to him; it was hell with florescent lighting **

**Ron strolled down the school hallway, his hands in his pockets, his shoulders slumped, his gaze on the floor. **

**He might as well admit it they were officially broken up. He sighed; the truth was like ice water. It won't kill you but it's a shock to your system when it hits you. **

**_Ok instead of thinking about what she is doing now, I'll just imagine that she's gone. Yeah, she's gone_. **

**He imagined an empty spot in front of him. A spot that would soon be filled with someone who would love him back **

_**What is wrong with me? Hearts have been broken for thousands of year, since the beginning of the time. Who am I to feel bad? Heck, it's not like I'm defined by my relationship with her**_

**He entered a stairwell; his shoulders slumped even further. "Who am I kidding? Without KP, I've got nothing. I should have never agreed--" **

**That's when he heard her crying. He took a few steps down the staircase.**

"**Hello?" **

**Elizabeth looked up at him, tears in her emerald colored eyes. Her boyfriend had just broken up with her hours before. She was taking it hard just like he was taking his breakup hard. They were kindred spirits. Two hearts devastated by the opposite sex, frightened individuals who at the tender age of twenty-one were afraid of being alone. Together they would share a drink called loneliness and help each other grow. **

**Well that was the plan… until she dumped him a few months later.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hello Ron honey, it's me."

"Hi mom."

"Everything all right?"

He thought about it. "I have to say right now I'm ok. I'm not depressed but I'm not that happy either…"

There was a pause. "How's Liz?"

"Liz, Liz… oh you mean my girlfriend. Last time I saw her she was giving me the 'it's not you it's me speech'."

"Why?"

"It was totally bizarre. It turns out that I was such a terrible lover, I gave her an anti-climax."

"Ronald!" she said sternly.

"It was a joke mom, a bad joke that no sane man would ever tell his mother. I'm sorry; I'm just using humor to mask my deep emotional pain… again."

"Oh I'm sorry son, does Kim know?"

It was obvious where his mother's loyalty lay.

"Yeah, she knows. We're… uh… trying to pick the friendship back up."

"That's fantastic. You two need each other, Kim keeps you focused."

_Why is abbreviation such a long word? Wait_… "I don't need Kim to keep me focused. I'm doing fine on my own."

"Of course you are honey, it's just that your father and I are worried about you. What are you going to be after you graduate?"

"An old, tired man probably."

"Seriously Ron with all due respect---"

No one who starts a sentence 'with all due respect' is going to say anything positive about you.

"-----sometimes you can be a little aimless. It's nice to have a good friend who can keep you motivated and centered. Your father and I sleep better at night when we know Kim is around you."

"This might be it mom. We might not be able to get the friendship to work anymore."

"Oh Ron," he could practically hear her smiling; "you don't have to be so melodramatic. I can't see anything ever coming in between you two."

"Sure mom whatever you say…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**_The question of whether or not you are in love with someone is pretty cut and dry: you either are or you aren't… and deep down, you know the answer. You just have to trust yourself to recognize it._**

_**Yeah that's how it should be in reality. But sometimes…sometimes you just don't know. It could happen to anyone, a rich executive, a senator, even a fearless hero. **_

_**The million-dollar question though, was it fair to keep someone hanging on when you didn't know if you loved them? **_

**Kim picked up the paced as she jogged through the morning fog. She had started jogging since the… jogging was great, it helped clear her mind while being good exercise. **

**Kim took in a deep breath, things had been a little tense lately. She had a lot on her mind, class projects, the cheer squad had to be perfect for the big game against Middleton A&M, her internship was coming up and… anyway it had been a rough couple of weeks for her.**

**She scanned her surroundings. She was in familiar territory. **

_**I must have come here without realizing it.**_

**She quickened her pace. "Oh well, since I'm here, I might as well drop by and see how he's doing. This must be as hard on him as it is on me." **

_**It may be even harder on him. He could be in really bad shape, I really should check in on him.**_

**No one would have imagined things would have turned out like this. Everything looked so bright after the prom but now… maybe she should just…**

**She stopped so abruptly that she almost sprained her ankles. She watched Ron escort a young woman out of the house and into an awaiting cab. **

**Kim stood there seemingly frozen in time, and then she was flooded by a gamut of emotions, anger being the most prevalent. **

**_No…_ she swallowed the lump in her throat _I've got no right to feel this way. _**

**Kim took another deep breath and sprinted in the other directions. She should probably get back home, that philosophy class was giving her way more trouble than she was expecting. Then maybe she should treat herself to some new clothes. **

**She continued running at a brisk pace; God she loved jogging, it helped take a lot off her mind.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Conditional processing with the IF . . . ELSE construct allows your Transact-SQL program to make choices. You can nest your IF . . . ELSE conditionals as deep as you'd like. The IF . . . ELSE construct requires the use of a BEGIN . . . END block if more than one SQL or Transact-SQL command is dependent upon the condition. The result of this coding constraint is a structured, block orientation. Here's an example of an IF . . . ELSE statement:_

_-- Simple Boolean comparison with ELSE clause._

_IF (susername() 'sa') _

_PRINT 'Congratulations. You are SA on this system.'_

_ELSE_

_PRINT 'You are not the SA on this system.'_

Ron's vision blurred as he stared down at the textbook. Why had he signed up for a programming course? Yes he liked playing computer games, but finding out how they were programmed was not quite as fun as playing them.

In fact, he was really beginning to hate everything to do with computers. He suddenly wished he was Bill Gates. Then again, if he was Bill Gates, he would be surrounded by computer symbols and prompts that he found boring and hard to understand, which was the reason he was studying, which is why he currently wished he was Bill Gates. However, he wasn't Bill Gates, which is why he was going to chuck the textbook into the trash bin and go read a comic.

Ron took his eyes off the book to see how the others were doing. A young boy strolled up to the register. "Do you have this comic called the Vengaza arc?"

"Yeah we have that," Ritchie nodded, "if you like unimaginative crap." He slapped another comic down on the counter. "What you want is this. It is a metaphysical look into the human soul set in a post apocalyptic future where the government controls the media and starts a war to further their own agenda."

The child scanned the comic cautiously. "Is it violent?"

Ritchie scoffed. "Is the Hulk green?"

The child's eyes lit up. "Sweet, I'll take it!" he said, as he plopped down his money.

"Sorry," Ron snatched the comic from the boy's hand, "that's a mature comic, not for minors."

Ron handed the boy another book. "Here take this one, it's rated E for everyone."

"What's this about?"

"It's about a kid who goes to high school with her friend/sidekick by day, and they tackle baddies that threaten the world by night."

"Sounds weak, it looks a comic for girls," the boy replied.

Ron shooed the boy out the store. "Hasn't anyone ever told you to keep an open mind. Go home you latchkey kid. If you don't like it come back, and I'll give you refund."

After pushing the boy out the door, Ron turned to Ritchie. "What are you doing, you can't sell a mature comic to kids"

"He looked old enough."

"He looked twelve!" Ron countered. He turned his head to find Phil sitting in a corner of the room apparently asleep.

"Phil!"

Phil woke up with a start. "Huh, what's going?"

"What do you think you're doing?"

Phil looked bemused. "Huh, I always take a nap after lunch."

"Not today," Ron said sharply. "You've got to do the inventory."

"Do what?"

"Inventory"

"What the hell is inventory?"

"I don't know," Ron, replied, "go do something in the back."

"Why? When have we ever done any real work in here?"

"You see," Ron told Felix when he entered the room, "that's the kind of negative attitude we need to change around here. I've got seniority and I say things have to change."

"When did this become a fascist regime?" Ritchie scoffed.

Felix sighed. "Give him a break, Kim's with Ian, Elizabeth's with Brian. He's got issues to work out."

"Brian?" Ritchie said with puzzlement. "You mean the guy who lives across the street from us?"

Ron's head snapped towards them. "HE LIVES WHERE?"

Felix lowered his head. "Oh boy, the cat's out of the bag."

Ron started toward Felix. "Wait a minute Felix; tell me you're not talking about the jerk who mows his lawn half naked every weekend? The guy who put up Christmas lights in October?"

"We're not… not talking about him."

Ron put his hands on his head. "Oh god, why did it have to be that jerk?"

Ritchie looked sheepish. "Wow, I guess I should have said something when I saw her go to his house."

Ron rubbed both of his ears. "Hold on Ritchie… I think… I think I just heard you say something completely insane."

"I only saw her do it once."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I forgot!"

"That's vital information dude, I need to know stuff like that!" Ron shouted at him.

"Alright!" Ritchie said defensively. "Here's what you do, you take this piece of info, you get in the DeLorean, drive real fast, go back in time to last month when knowing this really mattered."

Ron massaged his forehead. "Next time please, if you see anyone I'm with go into another man's house… please let me know."

"I'll keep you posted."

"I don't understand," Ron, continued, "it can't be the same guy. Bonnie said Brian was a bigger loser that I was."

Felix's hand shot up in the air. "I can explain that. Two semesters ago, Brian had the misfortune of stepping on and scuffing Ms. Rockwaller's new shoes. And thus he was labeled a loser."

"I guess Liz didn't catch that memo," Ron said.

"Mmmmmm Bonnie." Ritchie smiled as if he was remembering a pleasant dream. "Too bad she's such a mirage."

"Mirage?" Felix asked.

"I can see her but I can't touch her."

Phil rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Brian and Liz… you know they're probably getting to know each other right now…" Ron glared at him. "I mean… what I was trying to say is… this is awkward."

Ron eyes dropped to the floor. "This would be so hilarious if it wasn't happening to me." He slowly shuffled zombie-like into the back room of the store, and closed the door behind him.

Ritchie chuckled to himself "this is what happens when you believe in love," he warned. "It's like I've been saying---" He stopped when he heard a scream from the back room

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

They all looked towards the closed door. "What the hell was that?" Phil asked.

"I think he's finally realized that Kim probably has also." Felix made a hand motion representing a sexual activity

Ritchie laughed again. "Are you telling me he just realized that… just now?"

Felix coughed. "Ron is… not exactly normal."

"Excuse me." They all turned around to see a thin looking young woman with men's eyeglasses and sexily bobbed hair, enter the store.

"Excuse me, can someone help me."

"Uh, the beauty salon is down the block," Felix told her.

"Actually I'm looking for a comic."

Phil, Felix, and Ritchie glanced at each other for a second before they huddled together.

"Alright, she's hot and she likes comics… this is a once in a lifetime opportunity." Phil glanced at his friends. "Which one of us gets to go over there--- "

Felix interrupted. "I know what you're thinking Phil and I nominate myself since I'm the best looking one here."

"Sez who?"

"Sez God," Felix answered.

"I'm telling you right now, if any of you go near my wife, I'll kill you," Ritchie said.

"Now she's your wife, when did that happen?"

"When she walked out of my dreams and into this store"

"Felix, Ritchie, there's only one way to handle this, rock, paper, scissors."

They nodded in agreement and placed their hands out when---

"Hello my name is Ron Stoppable, can I help you?"

Felix and the rest let out a collective groan.

The young woman smiled at Ron. "I just moved into town and it looks like this is the closest---"

"And the best," Ron said quickly.

"----comic book store to my house. You're a quick one huh?" She giggled before staring at him for a moment or so. "Ok, I'm on my way home and I'm looking for something dramatic, deep, and exciting."

Ron reflected. "Well the most popular comic out today—"

"The most popular comic is not always the best," she said. "I don't care how obscure it is I want something to get lost in."

Ron reflected on his own favorites. "Dramatic, deep, and exciting huh?" The woman followed Ron as he scanned through the various comics on the shelves.

"During my final year of high school, I was under a lot of pressure. SAT's, finals, applying for schools, new girlfriend, saving the world…"

"Ron Stoppable of Team Possible… I knew I've seen you before," she exclaimed.

Ron brushed lint of his shoulder as he smiled. "Yep that's me. I helped saved the world, constantly."

"Oh no she recognized him," Felix sighed.

Ritchie placed hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry boys, this is Ron we're talking about. He'll trip and fall flat on his face, or better yet his pants will drop. Then, in the confusion, we'll swoop in."

Ron grabbed a comic off the stand. "This comic helped me through a lot of rough times. I have always liked comics but I didn't really get into them until my senior year when the pressure was really weighing me down. I also got into movies, and music but this comic was an inspiration. It's not that famous, because it's from a small independent label, but it's a classic by those in the know… by that I mean hardcore geeks." He handed her the comic and she stared at it with surprise on her face.

"I can still remember my favorite line from the book. Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." He said the line with as much zeal as he could muster.

She laughed. "Actually, that's a quote from James Dean."

Ron blushed. "Oh well, I still like it."

She shook her head. "Are you serious?"

"Huh?"

"This is amazing!" She giggled again. "I can't believe it. I never thought I'd have my story quoted to me."

Ron, Phil, Ritchie and Felix nearly fell over.

"I can't---- " Felix began.

"----Believe it," Phil continued.

"Drop damn you, drop," Ritchie growled.

Ron snatched the comic from the woman's hand and read the author's name aloud. "You're Allison Hornby!"

"Yep, that's me," she said.

"You… you're amazing…" Ron stammered.

"Oh please, compared to saving the world, writing a comic is nothing."

Ron was oblivious to her comment. "I'm your greatest fan, I love this comic… but I guess you already know that since I just told you I loved the comic, but then again when I said it I didn't know who you were… I can't believe that you're actually standing here, and I can't believe I actually recommended a comic to its author, that's got to be weird for you, it was weird for you right? I'd think it was a little weird, but I'm sure you're cool because only a really cool person could write such a great comic…" He took a deep breath when he ran out of air.

"….Um would you mind autographing this for me!"

"Sure." She pulled a pen from her purse and signed the comic. "To Ron Stoppable."

Felix and the rest suddenly crowded around her pushing Ron to the side.

"Can I have your autograph----"

"-----sign it to Phil."

"Are you married?"

After an hour or so of geeking out, and discussing the latest trends in comics Allison glanced at her watch. "Oh I'm sorry guys, I've got to run."

"Please---"

"---Come---"

"---Back---"

"---Soon!" the four of them said in unison.

She laughed at the torrent of enthusiasm. "Sure I'll do that. Oh, and Ron, you still have to recommend a good book to me. Next time I'd like it to be something I didn't write." She laughed as she walked out the door.

"Bye," they said in singsong as they waved goodbye.

"Wow, she was something else---" Ron stopped when he saw all his friends staring darkly at him.

Felix narrowed his eyes. "Tara, Zita, Yori, Kim, Elizabeth and now this. What are you, flypaper for hotties?"

Ron was perplexed. "What are you talking about?"

"Yea," said Phil. "I don't get it, you don't do anything remotely charming but all the hot chicks gravitate to you. Where's the justice?"

"What?"

"WHY DIDN"T YOUR PANTS FALL?" Ritchie screamed at him.

"O… kay," Ron said as he backed away from his friends, "you guys are nuts. I'm going on break."

"Hey, try not to run into any hot alien chicks while you're in the food court!" Phil yelled out as Ron rushed out the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Ron huffed as he rolled onto his side. "Uh KP, I've got to ask you something." **

**She took a moment to catch her breath. "What?" Parts of her neck and chest were still flushed, her skin layered with a fine sheen of sweat.**

"**I need to know um… how… how did you feel about… um what just happened." **

"**Huh... It was nice." **

**Ron nodded. "Uh-huh, was it nicer, as nice, or less nice than the other times we've you know…"**

**She raised an eyebrow. "Why?" **

**Ron's jaw dropped. "You didn't even notice?" **

"**What?" **

"**Oh my god," Ron lay on his back half laughing, "I just tried something new to please you and you didn't even notice." **

"**You did?" **

"**Yes I did!" He exclaimed. "What? Have I been doing pushups for the last forty five minutes?"**

"**Alright, amp down," she said.**

"**Shh," he put his finger to her lips, "did you hear that? That's my confidence in my abilities as a lover shooting itself in the face" **

"**Oh so not the drama." **

"**Yes, yes so the drama… look give me like three minutes to rest up and I swear I'll get it right this time." **

"**Look---"**

"**No, no, I've figured it out. Maybe if you put your head on the nightstand and position your self in a seventy-degree angle then I can----"**

"**Ro---"**

"**Ok forget it, I don't need three minutes, I'm ready to go right now." He pulled her closer to his body. "Just let…"**

"**Ron… stop, I'm tired. I've got to wake up early tomorrow." **

"**Tired," he said incredulously, "how can you be tired?" **

"**I'm not allowed to be tired? I put as much into it as you do." **

"**Of course you do." He paused. "KP, you give me ten minutes and I swear to God I'll knock it out of the park."**

"**Ron!" **

"**Fine," he pouted before rolling over, turning his back to her. "Tired, I'll show you tired. Next time I'll turn your legs into jelly," he muttered under his breath. **

**A second later he felt a tap on his shoulder.**

"**Uh excuse me, have we forgotten the cuddling?" she said.**

**Ron rolled back towards her. "You want to what? I can't believe it, I ask for a chance to redeem myself, but you'd rather spoon?" **

"**I like spooning." **

"**Oh that's good to know. How about next time I just skip the whole hour-long charade and we go right to the cuddling! I'll save myself the energy." **

"**Oh come Ron, I like the first part and cuddling equally," she replied before launching into the puppy dog pout. "Please?" **

**He sighed, there was no use arguing now. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. He felt the warmth of her body against his.**

"**See, isn't this nice, just as nice as the first part," she cooed. **

'**You see 'nice' isn't what I'm going for. I believe mind blowing is the adjective I'm aiming for." **

**She nuzzled into his chest. "Is that all… fine. Oooo Ronnie," she said covetously, "you are just the best ever. You just wore me out. It was so good I think the neighbors need a cigarette." **

**Ron laughed. "Kim, you keep talking like that and I won't be responsible for my actions." **

"**That's some threat," she said.**

**Ron closed his eyes, he was apparently a lot more tired than he was letting on. "You know I love you right KP?" **

**It came right out of left field and caught her completely off guard. It was the first time he had said that to her. She found that she was happy and yet utterly bewildered at the same time. **

"**I…" she stopped when she realized that he had drifted off to sleep before she could reply.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Cynical Ron?"

"Yes, this is the era of the new Cynical and Pessimistic Ron. The glass is not half full for Cynical Ron KP, it's half empty and full of piss."

She blew out a breath. "Cynical Ron doesn't sound like a fun person to hang out with."

"Cynical Ron doesn't care what people think. What cynical Ron gives is what you get."

"Is Cynical Ron always going to refer to himself in the third person? Because it's getting annoying"

"Talking in the third person makes Cynical Ron feel important!"

It had been awhile since they spent an afternoon like this, a picnic on a blanket under the shade, near a lake in the park. Kim lay stretched out beside him, she held a small pocket notebook over her face.

Nothing remotely unpleasant hung above them.

"Ah, I guess my life's really not so awful--it just seems that way when I'm awake, or not watching T.V, or not reading a comic, or not playing video games, or not listening to music."

"Uh-huh."

Ron took a quick a glance at her. "Are you studying while I'm talking?"

"I can't help it," she sat up, "I have to write a poem for my English class."

Ron closed his eyes. "College would be so much better if it didn't have any classes."

"Tell me what do you think of this--- It's easy to be pleasant. When life flows like a song, but the person worthwhile is the one who will smile, when everything goes dead wrong."

On a park bench to the left of them, two teenagers were making out as if their faces had been held together by adhesive. A couple walked by, hand in hand. An even older couple stood to the left of them, standing side by side, as they fed pieces of bread to the ducks.

For some reason Ron couldn't understand, the sight of all of them annoyed him like nothing else.

"Well?"

"I like it; you have a way with words."

"That's it? 'A way with words', that's all you have to say?"

"I'm not good with poetry."

"Please," she gave him a playful push, "just think of something."

"I'm trying."

"Yes, very."

She saw the rare look of Ron being in deep in thought.

"Oh, I get it," he said a moment later. "Trying the adjective; meaning to cause strain, hardship, or distress, nice one KP, very subtle."

"I'm glad you appreciate that one… I can't believe you can't give me some good feedback, you're supposed to be the creative one in the group. I don't think you were actually listening."

"Well it was a little predictable."

She looked down at her notebook. "Predictable how?"

He smiled. "I'm just playing you, it was great."

"Hmmm." She sat in the lotus position and her gaze shifted towards her left leg, her hair now covered much of her face. She looked sexy like that he had always thought so.

She peered at him through the curtain of hair. "About the party this weekend, you know I'm bringing Ian right?"

It was amazing how rough a landing it is when you come crashing back down to reality.

Ron remained motionless.

"I'm surprised you've got nothing to say about it, it might be a little awkweird."

"I'm mentally searching for the appropriate response to this situation." He blinked once, twice, three times. "Badical," he said eventually.

"Badical?"

"Badical," he repeated. "I'll go with Badical."

"Ok… now with that settled, we can go on to more important news. My cousin Larry is getting married."

Ron bolted upright. "No freaking way!"

"The wedding is at the end of the month."

"Larry is getting married, he's been engaged?"

"For a couple of weeks now"

"He's dated a woman? When, how?"

"Apparently they've been going out for two years."

Ron lay back down on the grass. "Two years! Larry getting married… I liked the guy but hearing that he's getting married is wow."

"Tell me about it," Kim replied.

"Larry getting married, good for him, it must be great to love someone and know they love you back… don't cha think so Kim?"

"The family really wants you to be there," she said, changing the subject quickly.

"What? They do?"

"Yeah, Larry wants you there and my mom insists you come." She brushed hair away from her face. "Ian won't be able to make it," she said quickly, as if reading Ron's mind.

"You're worrying about the party? Don't you think _this_ will be a little awkweird… after the breakup and all?"

"Why should it be, we're friends right?"

That was the moment Ron remembered the kiss; the kiss that she had given him in front of the movie theater; his hands instinctively went to his face. The kiss had amazingly landed in the tiny space between his cheek and his lips.

It the most ambiguous kiss in the history of man, it was friendly yet strangely intimate at the same time. In fact, it had just occurred to him, this whole picnic scene was bizarre. There were some serious romantic overtones going on.

This was the right moment for Cynical Ron to come to life, he would refuse the invitation to the wedding, declare his refusal to costar in this obvious melodrama, and move on with his life. A friendship between them now was obviously impossible; they knew the risks before that stupid kiss at the prom ever happened. They knew the relationship would affect the friendship.

"What are we doing KP; most couples go their separate ways after breaking up. What are we holding onto here?"

"I guess under the circumstances it would make sense if we distanced ourselves from each other. That is if the relationship was the only thread holding us together. However, I don't think it is. There are other threads, hundreds of thousands of threads, keeping us together."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Cynical Ron had been soundly defeated.

Kim smiled. Even if he was angry now, no matter what he said, Ron wouldn't throw their friendship away. He was the type to stay on a sinking ship and see it out to the end, even if he had to sacrifice his own happiness.

Suddenly her expression grew shy and hopeful. "It's not the family either… I really want you to be there."

"Alright"

Therefore, Cynical Ron died, killed by emerald eyes, pouty lips, and a beautiful face. Sources say it was a quick and painless death. 'It's a shame," remarked as witness "he never really had a chance."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"All I'm saying is if those dolphins were so smart, they wouldn't hang out with tuna."

Ron stopped in the middle of the store aisle, interrupting Ritchie's tirade against aquatic mammals. He looked at the shopping cart filled with snacks for the oncoming party.

"Who's paying for all this stuff?"

Felix looked up towards the ceiling, Ritchie buried his face into a magazine, and Phil pretended to study the ingredients on the back of a bottle of water.

"Oh come on guys… Felix?"

"I'm tapped and besides, you owe me money."

"Ritchie?"

"No habla ingles."

"Phil?"

"Do you know how expensive college textbooks are?"

"So what are we going to do?"

Ritchie looked back and forth between the others and then to Ron. "I don't know how to make this any clearer, we're broke, you're not… you pay."

"Oh come on, this is completely wrong."

"Fine, I guess we'll have party with no food then." Ritchie shrugged. "It'll be the worst party ever and everyone will call us losers. Kind of a shame really, since we all had our hearts set on it."

Ron grudgingly reached into his pockets for his wallet. He opened it and let all the bills it contained drop onto the floor. "There, enjoy you leaches. I'll be waiting outside," he said before walking off in a huff.

"Well that was a little rude." Phil quipped as he snatched Ron's money off the floor.

Ron stood in front of the door and massaged the back of his neck with both hands. He definitely wasn't getting enough sleep. Moreover, it wasn't because he was up all night playing videogames. It was because every time he closed his eyes he saw Kim and Liz engaged in…intimate activates with their new beaus

He shuddered; the worst part of it was that in every single dream, he had never seen the girls happier. In fact, they were having the time of their lives.

Jealousy is knowing how much fun your ex's were having.

Ron came back to earth when he heard a car door slam. He looked towards the parking lot and saw a familiar face.

"Yo Ronnie S," Dave Perotta said as approached the store. Dave was a frequent customer at the comic book store, he was one of the many people on earth that Ron envied. Dave lived off the royalty checks from the dozens of famous songs his father had written before he died. He got a huge monthly paycheck for doing absolutely nothing at all.

Dave was living the American dream.

"Ron how you holding up… I heard about the wicked breakup."

Ron groaned. "Man, you heard about that too?"

"I feel for you bro, but you know what they say some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant."

"Hmmm it seems like I've been the hydrant most of my life,"

"Think of a breakup this way, you're one step closer to the one you're meant to be with."

"Thanks, I'd find that comforting if you didn't say the exact same thing after I broke up with Kim."

"I did?"

"Yeah, you did."

Dave grinned. "Sorry about that dude, memories not as good as it used to be… But uh, you're hanging in there right?"

"It's taking all I have not to fall into a deep and unwavering depression… but other than that… I'm doing just fine."

"Don't worry too much about it bro. I knew this one dude who rode in a car for 40 minutes, spent 50 minutes on the subway, and 20 minutes on a bus just to leave a rose at his girl's doorstep, and she still wouldn't take him back."

"Wow, so what happened?"

"Oh, he got her back, eventually."

"How?"

"Hey, let's just say jealousy is really powerful. It's far more powerful than most people suspect. Later dude" Dave told him before heading inside the store.

_Jealousy hmmm, even if it doesn't work I still win… Nah, it's just too much work._

Ron pushed the thought out of his mind as Felix and the rest exited the store, shopping bags in each of their hands.

"You guys finished spending my money?"

"Hey check it out." Felix used his hands to shield his eyes. "There across the street. It's the Middleton U Tigers."

"The school's baseball team?" Ron said as he used his own hands as a visor.

It didn't take long to spot the group of ten. The entire starting lineup seemed to be making their way to the store. They walked with an air of regality surrounding them. There were big expectations for the team; the buzz around campus was that they were good enough to capture the national title.

"Ah crap," said Phil, "that means Buzzy Parker is going to grace our presence."

"I can't believe Neanderthals like him still exist. I swear I saw him walking around in a sabretoothtiger skin T-shirt and gnawing on a bone… and I think it was human."

"Oh… my… God," Ron exclaimed. "That dude in the middle, that's… that's Ian!"

"What, you didn't know he was on the team? He's the Ace, people are predicting he'll be the M.V.P… how did you not know that?" Phil asked.

Ritchie shook his head. "First Brian and now this? Ron, if ignorance is bliss you must be orgasmic."

_Kim's dating a pretty boy jock? Dear God could it possibly get any worse? _"I… I have only seen him once… out of uniform." _In addition, I did my best to avoid him._

They stepped to the side as the team approached. Buzzy Parker sneered at them as he passed by. The rest of the team completely ignored them.

Ron released his breath. "Well let's go—"

"Hey, you're Ron right?" Ian said as he stepped back out of the store.

Ron jumped before turning around. "Oh uh Ian right… hey buddy."

"Hey man, what's up?" Ian said as he put out his hand.

Having no choice Ron awkwardly shook it. "I'm good, and you?"

"I'm great… hey listen, I'm glad you and Kim are talking again. She was in a real funk when you stopped hanging out with her."

Ron blushed from embarrassment. "Yea I kind of went though a thing there."

"It's cool, we all have those days."

"Right… um, but we uh, the friendship seems to be back on track."

"Great." Ian smiled. "By the way, I'm sorry I can't make it to the wedding with you guys. We've got a big game that day."

"Oh that's… um… too… bad…" Ron said. "You wouldn't by any chance be a synthodrone would you?"

"A what?"

"Nothing," Ron said quickly, "just a little wishful on my part."

"Ian, where there hell are you?" said a stern voice from inside the store.

Ian glanced back at the store. "Uh that's Buzzy, he's the team captain. I better get in there or he'll be riding me all day." Ian turned back to Ron. "It was going catching up to you man, we should do something sometime… oh wait, I'll see you at the party right?"

"Yeah the party"

"Good, catch you guys later," he said before sprinting into the store.

"That's too bad," Felix said to Ron, "looks like the guy's a saint."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A few hours before the party:

"You owe me big," Monique said with an exasperated look on her face. "Real big!" she repeated as she handed Ron the bag full of clothes, the latest from Club Banana.

"Mo, I swear after this, it'll be a whole week before I ask for another favor. Besides, this is the new era of Shallow Player Ron. And SPR needs fresh clothes so he can… play."

"SPR?"

Ron inspected his new threads. "Shallow Player Ron, try to keep up with me Mo."

"This seems like a stupid plan to tweak Kim. You know jealously does not equal love."

Ron laughed. "Ah Monique, my naïve friend… you're a hundred percent correct. Nevertheless, what do you expect me to do while Kim parades around with her consolation prize?"

"Consolation Prize… you mean Ian?"

"No, I mean Monkey Fist, of course I'm talking about Ian," he snapped.

"This is so petty."

"I was thinking the same thing. But then I realized I'm not above pettiness, and I'm fine with that." He looked Monique in the eyes. "Look, Kim's my best friend, I know this, but she also kind of sort of broke my heart…"

"But----"

"Now," Ron interrupted, "I've just come off another disastrous relationship and I believe I deserve some happiness right?"

"Yes but---"

"You know what makes me happy Monique? Hot girls groping me, now, if my happiness tweaks Kim, well then that's not my fault, is it? In fact as my friend, she should be delighted to see me surrounded by beautiful women right?"

"Yes----"

Ron smiled. "So you see, there's no problem"

"Just promise me you'll keep the Kim tweaking to a minimum?"

Ron blinked once, twice, than a third time. "Of course, now unless you are waiting for a peep show, can you please step out while I get dressed?"

"Gladly," she replied. "I still don't know how Kim put up with it," Monique quipped as she headed for the exit.

"Ha… Ha…" he said sarcastically, "we both know you want to see my hot bod."

"Keep dreaming buddy."

XXXXXXX

One hour later:

"What do you think about this shirt?" Phil asked. "I'm wearing it for the party tonight."

"It's better than the 'assassins do it from behind' T shirt you always wear." Ritchie sniffed the air. "Nice cologne. Must you marinate in it?"

Phil ignored him. "Why are we waiting outside of Ron's room again? The party is about to start."

"We're waiting for the unveiling of SPR," Felix answered, just as Monique exited the room.

"I just handed him the best substitute to Le Goop I could find. He'll be out any minute."

Suddenly the door popped open and Ron stepped out. He had on expensive designer clothes from head to toe and the hair gel kept his hair perfectly in place.

"Nice," said Felix. "The clothes, plus the broken heart angle, you'll be busy all night."

Ron laughed. "But those two alone do not automatically mean success. That's why I've got a secret weapon."

"Secret weapon?"

"Kim and I had an equal partnership."

"Equal?" Ritchie scoffed. "You sure about that sidekick?"

Ron gave him a hard glance before continuing. "We had a semi equal partnership, but there was one thing that I couldn't defeat whenever we had an argument."

"The Puppy Dog Pout?" Monique said.

"Bingo…The PDP. Countless hours shoe shopping, brain cells destroyed by chick flicks, salads; I've endured them all because I couldn't fight the PDP. For years I've been perfecting a technique to counter it."

It suddenly dawned on Felix and Monique what Ron was getting at. "No way"

"Yes," Ron said triumphantly. "It's not as strong as the original PDP, but combined with my tragic story, dozens of romantic quotes I've found online, and these clothes… I'm unstoppable," he said with a dark grin before breaking out into laughter.

"What's with the evil laughter?" Phil whispered to Felix.

"Ron, aren't you getting a little overconfident? I mean the clothes are nice and all but still--"

She stopped when Ron turned to her and grabbed both her hands. His eyes went wide, his head tilted, and he pushed his bottom lip out. "I know I've been hurt before but there are only four questions of value in life. 'What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made of? What is worth living for? What is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love'…Monique can you teach me to love again?"

"Oh my god," she said breathlessly, "you're like a sad lonely puppy, I just want to take you home and cuddle you until you're happy again."

"Monique, can you do me a favor and start letting the guests in, it'll make me feel so much better."

"Of course, whatever you need. You poor thing," she said before pulling away from him.

"My god," Ritchie exclaimed when Monique was gone, "her heart melted before our very eyes."

Ron smacked himself on the cheek to pull himself together. "That was only 65 percent of its full power."

"Are you serious? Are you going to use 100 percent at the party?"

"No Felix, I'm saving that for Larry's wedding, just imagine the possibilities."

They gasped, Ron laughed manically.

"Wow, he's got the evil laughter down pat!" Phil observed

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron blinked back a tear. "Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew."

He leaned back into the sofa, a group of beautiful girls encircling him. The two girls sitting closest to him rubbed both his arms reassuringly.

"Awww don't say that, you'll find a special person one day."

Ron shook his head. "I'm sorry ladies but I've learned love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion."

"Ron, whoever hurt you like this should be tarred and feathered." The girl who said that was called Susie, he would have to remember that.

Ron looked down at his feet. "No ladies, it's not her fault. Maybe," he sighed, "maybe if I had treated her better---"

"No, it's not your fault," exclaimed some of the girls. "It's that awful witch's fault!"

_Let's see Marsha. Sally, Jeanine, Janet._

"You're too nice Ron; you'll have to toughen up if you want to find true love."

…_Oh right Paula. _"You're right Paula… you're so right." His words trailed off. "Maybe… one day, with the wings of love, I'll fly again."

"You will fly again Ron, fly like a beautiful dove."

"Thank you… uh Janet."

"Wow," Ian said as he drank from a plastic cup, "I had no idea Ron was such a lady-killer."

Kim frowned. "This is quite a surprise to me too."

"I guess you were wrong about him being upset with us being here. He seems to be doing great. I mean really, he's charmed almost half the girls in here."

"Yes, he's quite the charmer," she said between clenched teeth.

"Yep," Ian agreed.

The party was in full swing, people wall to wall, music blaring, and refreshments everywhere. She had to admit it, Ron and his friends had actually succeeding in throwing a great party.

If it wasn't for Don Ron and his harem in the corner of the room, she might have been enjoying herself.

"Forget her Ron; you're better off without that skank!"

Kim's eye twitched. They were obviously talking about Liz… obviously.

Monique rushed over to Kim. "I'm so sorry."

"What do you have to apologize about?"

"It's all my fault, I gave him the clothes and the hair gel. I helped create that self-centered monster,

"It's no big Monique; Ron can let himself get carried away sometimes."

Monique looked back at Ron. "No, it's all my fault, I helped turn him into that… that… sad… adorable… wounded creature… Kim, how could you hurt him like that?"

"Excuse me?" Kim exclaimed.

Monique closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Girl I'm sorry, I need some fresh air," she said, a second before she rushed out the door.

"Did you really go to space?" A girl asked.

"Space… so dark… cold… lonely… empty like my heart."

"That doesn't even make sense," Kim muttered to herself.

XXXX

"Your friend is so brave," a girl told Ritchie as they danced on the other side of the room.

"Yes he is, but he knows no matter how strong he is, he'll always have my shoulder to cry on."

The girl smiled at him. "That's so sweet."

"It's the least I can do, I'm his best friend after all." Ritchie glanced at his watch. It was time. He raised his hand in the air as if he was stretching. Felix who was standing near the stereo equipment caught the signal and relayed his own signal to Phil, who nonchalantly made his way towards Ron and his fawning groupies.

"Ahem."

Ron looked up. "Phil my good friend"

"Hey Ron, that guy over there," he pointed to a random person, "says that you were never on American Starmaker."

"That's right, you were on American Starmaker!"

"Oh please Marsha, it was so long ago I can't even remember----"

"Ah don't be so modest Ron," Phil interrupted, as he turned his attention to the girls. "Hey, you should hear him when he thinks no one's around, he's always singing to himself. Ladies, this guy right here has a great voice."

"Really, why don't you sing a little?" a girl asked.

"Yes, please!"

"Oh no, I couldn't…" Ron said as the party music changed.

_Felix is right on time _"I just couldn't."

"Sing, sing, sing," a chant that Ritchie had started began to echo from the back of the room.

"Alright, you talked me into it," Ron jumped from the couch.

Felix threw him I microphone. He cleared his throat as the crowd applauded. "This song is a favorite of mine. And the lyrics kind of ring true for me tonight, it's a song about heartbreak."

"Looks like we're going to get a show," Ian said as he clapped along with the rest of the partygoers.

_Oh no, he isn't really going to sing is he?_ Kim thought.

Ron lowered his head building up the dramatic moment. "'There was a time, when I was so broken hearted. Love wasn't much of a friend of mine, the tables have turned, yeah…. 'Cause me and them ways have parted. That kind of love was the killin' kind.'"

He began to work the room. "Now listen, all I want is someone I can't resist. I know all I need to know by the way that I got kissed! I was cryin' when I met you! Now I'm tryin' to forget you, love is sweet misery!"

He blew a kiss to a random girl. "I was cryin' just to get you, now I'm dyin' cause I let you. Do what you do - down on me!'"

_Ron, what are you doing? _

When he wasn't winking at groups of girls at a time, he closed his eyes and milked every inch of sincerity he could muster out of his body. "Yeah I got to tell you one thing. It's been on my mind, girl I gotta say. We're partners in crime. You got that certain something, what you give to me. Takes my breath away, now the word out on the street, Is the devil's in your kiss. If our love goes up in flames, it's a fire I can't resist!"

"Geez, he's pretty good," Ian remarked.

"No, he's not," Kim replied.

"I was cryin' when I met you! Now I'm tryin' to forget you! Your love is sweet misery."

"He's not?"

"I was cryin' just to get you, now I'm dyin' cause I let you! Do what you do to me!"

"He's being a jerk."

"He is?"

"Cause what you got inside, ain't where your love should stay. Yeah, our love, sweet love, ain't love... If you give your heart away! I was cryin' when I met you! Now I'm tryin' to forget you! Your love is sweet misery. I was cryin' just to get you."

Ron paused; he was coincidently just a few feet away from Ian and Kim. "Now I'm dyin' to let you! Do what you do what you do down to me, baby, baby, baby!"

He pulled away from them and made his way towards the center of the room.

_Time for the grand finale, _he told himself. He dropped to his knees.

"I was cryin' when I met you! Now I'm tryin' to forget you, your love is sweet misery. I was cryin' when I met you. Now I'm dyin' cause I let you, do what you do down to, down to, down to, down to me. I was cryin' when I met you, now I'm dyin' to forget you…..

Your love is sweet… I was cryin' when I met you…"

When the song faded he let the microphone drop dramatically to the ground, and he was immediately mobbed his harem.

"That was incredible!"

"I felt every emotion."

"Ladies please, let me catch my breath."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What the hell was that?" Kim said. It had been almost an hour since his impromptu concert and she had finally managed to corner him alone in the laundry room.

"What was what?" he grinned enjoying the moment.

"That whole song and dance number"

"Oh that? It was crazy, they wanted me to sing and kind of got lost in the moment. I didn't plan it that way," he lied.

"Uh-huh people don't just spontaneously break out into song and dance."

"Speak for yourself, I do all the time. I did this morning."

"Ron!"

"Alright fine, I was just having a little fun."

"At my expense"

Ron folded his arms. "Ah KP, you're so vain you probably thought that song was about you."

"Are you telling me it wasn't?"

He smiled. "Guess what Kim, I've been dumped twice."

"Oh please, that song was such an obvious shot at m---"

She stopped when she noticed the Ron had backed her into the wall. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"Nothing" He moved closer to her.

"Hey, don't do that…uh, Ian's out there."

"What, we're just friends having a chat." His face was just inches from her face. "Just a buddy to buddy talk"

He was close, really close. "No…" She arched her back against the wall she licked her lips before tilting her head upwards. "Please stop…" she said breathlessly.

_Whoa, talk about mixed signals! _Ron thought. His lips brushed against hers, he was so close he could practically taste her. Her lips so soft so edible, he leaned closer----

---and kissed her on the tiny space between her cheek and her lips.

"Huh?" she said as he pulled away.

"Hey, I'm glad you could drop by KP. Don't forget to grab a piece of cake before the night's over. I baked it myself."

"O…kay," she replied, clearly flustered.

Ron smoothed out his hair "Great, enjoy the rest of the night." He placed a few drops of Visine into his eyes to simulate teardrops. "I know I will," he said, before leaving her alone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Later that night

"You're so kind," Ron said to the night's lucky winner… Marsha. Marsha was her name, and she was without a doubt the most attractive of the little group he had managed to attract.

"No, you're the kind one," she slurred.

_Morality attack. _"Uh, you sound a bit---_hammered_----tipsy, maybe we should call it a night."

"No," she said quickly. She drained the contents of the plastic cup she was holding.

"Yeah, I don't think that's going to help---"

She put a finger up to cut him off. Then she suddenly shook her body vigorously like dog trying to dry itself off. "I'm fine," she a moment later.

"I really think tha---"

She grabbed his chin and planted a deep and forceful kiss on him. "I want to heal your wounds," she said seductively when she broke the kiss.

Hell, she seemed fine now.

"Wow!" Ron gasped. "Alright Florence Nightingale, you win, let's go to my room."

"Spankin!"

"What?" Ron said horrified. "Did you just say Spankin? You did, you just said Spankin!" He clenched his fist and muttered a curse through his teeth. "Hey look… um, don't get me wrong this is great, but um I'm just not ready… how about I take you home?"

XXXXXXX

Felix followed his extra strength aspirin with a cup of water as he looked over the backyard from the balcony.

"Yo Felix."

He turned around. "Hey SPR! How was your night?"

"Uneventful, and as of right now, SPR is in a coma. He's barely hanging on to life."

"Really?" Felix was surprised. "I could have swore I saw you with a someone last night."

Ron looked up at the clouds. "I was---"

"So?"

Ron sighed. "She said spankin."

"She said spankin?"

"Yeah… spankin"

Felix laughed. "Oh yea, there was no way you could rise to the occasion after a shock like that."

"Laugh it up Felix… just laugh it up."

"So after all that… nothing."

"Nothing."

"Well, at least you tweaked Kim a little."

Ron chuckled. "Yeah, but that doesn't make me feel as happy as it I thought it would."

"Ah well, you still got the wedding."

"Right"

"So dude tell me, the song last night, who was it really about, Kim or Liz?"

"I think it's pretty obvious."

"Not to me it isn't. Come on, just spit out."

"Alright it was about----" A sudden loud crash made them both glance towards the house.

"What was that?" Ron asked.

"That was probably the goat."

"The goat? There's a goat in the house?"

"Yea," Felix grinned, "Dude that was seriously one wild party man."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

There you go guys and ghouls, that sure was interesting. We even got a brief cameo from Zorpox there.

The song that Ron tweaks Kim with is Crying by Aerosmith, which sounds the same as Crazy from Aerosmith, which sounds like Jaded by Aerosmith, which sounds like etc… Next up the wedding!(Games pt2) What will happen? Will Kim get a little bit more development? Will there be a Liz/Brian update? What's the deal with Ian? I have no idea but I do know one thing.

There will be some Dirty Dancing going on. So stay tuned. Feedback is important, I think this chapter has a a little bit of different feel from the first one, but I'm not positive. I hope I'm being consitant with the wrting style.


	3. Road Trip

A/N Ok here's the deal I posted chapter three earlier this week. And although it got some positive responses I felt that the chapter was quite sub par. I took the chapter down so I could re-write it. If this is the first time you're reading this chapter, then don't worry you can skip the rest of the author's note and go right into the reading.

If you've read the original chapter three, let me tell you that although a few scenes have not changed dramatically the majority of the chapter is different from the orignal. So try not to skip over certain scenes.

BTW The new chapter three was pretty big so I decided to split it into two chapters.

This chapter contains suggestive scenes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ritchie looked up from the comic he was holding. "I don't care what anybody says, Jessica Rabbit is a hot piece of tail."

Phil looked up from his comic. "How can you say that? She's a cartoon, she's not alive. Drawings can't be hot."

"Who are you to say I can't say a cartoon is hot. People say the Mona Lisa is beautiful. Why can't I say a cartoon is hot?"

"That's different; the Mona Lisa is a work of art based on a real person. Look, calling a cartoon character hot is just…….I don't know weird."

Ritchie dismissed Phil with a wave of his hand. "I don't care if its 2D or 3D, hot is hot. Show me a man who doesn't think Jessica Rabbit is hot and I'll show you a guy who's reading "Gentlemen's magazines" just for the articles."

"Whatever"

"Fellas, "Felix said with a sigh, "we're here to help Ron perfect his 100 percent PDP remember?"

"Oh right." Ritchie put his comic down and pointed a remote towards the television before them. "This is the scene you wanted right?" He pressed play on the DVD player.

"_Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me... it brought me to you. And I'm thankful for that, Rose. I'm thankful. You must do me this honor, Rose. Promise me you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise."_

Ron sat in a recliner across from the T.V as Felix pointed at the screen. "You see this scene, do you see the pain and emotion on Jack's face. If you can master this look, then you'll be able to pull on every heartstring at the wedding."

"Right," Ron said with intense focus. He closed his eyes took a deep breath and tilted his head. He recalled a sad quote on love he had memorized for this occasion "The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned."

"No! I don't feel the sadness."

Ron opened his eyes wide. "One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else."

Felix slammed his hand on the living room table. "Wrong, I don't feel the emotion, I don't feel the loneliness. Where's the forlorn despair?"

"Alright… come on Ron… focus… focus… remember the pain… use the pain... blur the line between melancholy and sensitivity." Ron rubbed his eyelids to redden his eyes. "If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."

"You call that one hundred percent, that's worse than what you did at the party. Where's the hurt, where's the pain, you have to make them want to heal you, you have to appeal to the side of woman that wants to nurture you… make them love you dammit."

"I can't do it, I… cut me Felix."

"What?"

"I said cut me Felix."

"Are you sure?"

"Cut me!"

Felix grabbed a sheet of paper and ran it through a piece of paper in the valley between his right thumb and forefinger. The sting of the paper cut was there immediately. Ron braced himself against the chair and groaned with pain.

He let out a forlorn sigh as two tears rolled down his eyes. "Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning."

Phil's eyes went wide "Good lord,"

"Thank God I'm straight," added Ritchie.

Felix took a sip from a soda can and smiled. "By jove, I think he's got it."

Ron slapped himself on the cheeks to return his face to normal. "Finally, after two weeks of hard work, I'm ready for the wedding."

"Here's the printout you wanted." Phil handed Ron a stack of papers. "These are the saddest, sappiest, AKA the most romantic quotes I could find on the web."

Ron grabbed the papers and skimmed through them. "Great stuff Phil thanks, I'm going to start memorizing them tonight."

"You know Ron, if you put this much effort into your studies…"

"Please Felix," Ron interrupted "shut up."

"Alright," Ritchie arose from the couch with a clap, "so I guess we're done here. It's time to go watch the cheerleaders jiggle, Phil you coming?"

"I've got nothing else to do."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Guys"

"Don't worry," Ritchie said, "we'll keep our eyes off the red head. There's more than enough eye candy to go around."

"Oh thank you Ritch," Ron said sarcastically.

"What are friends for," Ritchie replied as he and Phil walked towards the door.

"Personally, I'd like to see more of Hope," Phil said.

"Whatever, just give me a little BonBon and I'm set. I just find something sexy about stuck-up, high maintenance chicks."

Ron shook his head as the walked out the door. "Those guys… hey, where are you going?"

Felix stopped. "I'm going to the library and I've got a report to get started on."

"Felix please, don't leave me alone right now. When I'm alone, it's just me and my memories, and I have a lot of bad memories Felix."

Felix sighed. "Okay, what's with the co-dependency?"

Ron snorted. "Co-dependency Felix, you're hilarious." There was a moment of awkward silence. "So… whatever happened to that goat?"

"I told Phil to take care of it, and he said Ritchie was going to handle it."

Ron groaned. "Ritchie asked me to take care of it three days ago."

"And I'm guessing you didn't."

"No."

Felix looked around the room. "So it's still somewhere in the house?"

"Probably… how'd the goat get in here anyway?"

"Yea, well, we started running out of food and someone requested a goat cheese sandwich---"

"You know what, forget it…… I don't want to know."

Felix nodded. "You're not going to use one hundred percent, are you?"

"Uh…" Ron's voice trailed off.

"After all that practice, what changed your mind?"

Ron put his face into hands. "At the time it felt good messing with Kim, but the guilt, the horrible guilt, it was eating me alive."

"Have you guys talked about it yet?"

"It's been two weeks and she hasn't said a peep about it. God knows I'm not about to bring it up. So no, we haven't talked about it, and every time I see her face I see that disappointed look on her face after I kissed her."

"You kissed her?"

"It was a tease kiss, not too intimate, a little bit friendly, and ambiguous as hell, just like she did to me."

"Hmm, you seem bitter again."

"That's the problem Felix, it's like I'm trapped in a battle between Rons." He put his hands out simulating a balance scale. "There's Best Friend Forever Ron and then there's Ex Boyfriend Ron." He lifted his right hand. "BFF Ron wants Kim to be happy, even if it means she's happy with someone else. BFF Ron will do anything for Kim and that includes taking a bullet for her, staying in a coma for five years, dying, and then coming back to life to help her pick out a wedding dress."

"I like BFF Ron, he's a nice guy."

"Oh, he's the nicest guy in the world Felix." He lowered his right hand and lifted his left. "Then there's Ex Boyfriend Ron. Now he's a little bitter and he has a void to fill. He wants to fill that void with replacement "girlfriends" and he wants to rub Kim's face in it. He wants new hotter girls rubbing all over him while Kim is watching and he wants to scream out HEY, YOU BLEW IT SISTER, YOU'VE MISSED OUT ON A GOOD THING." Ron said with intensity before catching himself and clearing his throat.

"I'm guessing that was XBF Ron."

Ron lowered his voice. "In my darkest hour…… XBF has even considered asking…Bonnie out."

Felix gasped. "No way!"

"Yes, of course BFF Ron would never go through with such a betrayal… I don't know what I'm going to do. Felix, these guys just can't compromise." He massaged his forehead with his hands.

Felix scratched his head "What about the Ron that's still in love with Kim?"

"That irrational jerk? He doesn't give a crap about anybody; no one can mount any offensive because that jerk sabotages the others plans plans. Nothing he does makes any sense. He can't get along with BFF Ron because he doesn't want to see Kim with anyone but me. And he'll never be on the same page with XBF. "Secretly Still in Love" Ron is a menace; he a single minded jerk who ignores all logic…… how I hate that Ron."

"A Ron divided amongst himself cannot stand," Felix stated.

"Yes Felix, you're right. If I let out SPR at the wedding, I'll get lots of babes, but Kim might get angry like she was at the party. If I don't let out SPR, than I'll feel like a jerk for blocking myself from some type of happiness for Kim's sake."

Felix thought about Ron's situation. "You know if you don't hit on any of Kim's relatives at the party, she really has no reason to get mad. As long as you keep it low key."

"That's true."

"I mean, you've every right to seek out a companion of you own, right?"

"Indeed."

"So now you're actually limiting yourself. You've gone out of your way not to bother Kim and you'll get some attention for yourself. If Kim gets mad at you, that is her problem because you've compromised the best you can."

"That's not a bad idea; I think it might just work… maybe." A loud crash coming from the basement made them both turn their heads.

"The goat?" Ron asked.

"The goat…" Felix answered. "Someone should do something about that."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I don't know why we have to talk about it, nothing happened," Kim said as she checked the price tag of a designer midriff.

"What do you mean nothing happened?" Monique stated as they checked out some more items at Club Banana. "You were obviously tweaked seeing him with all those girls---"

"I don't know about obvious," Kim said.

"---And he kissed."

"He didn't kiss me; it was a friendly peck… I think… and besides I sort of did the same thing to him."

"You kissed him?"

"Yes, after we went to the movies. We were having a good time; I got caught in the moment. For a second there I kind of forgotten we were broken up."

"Hmph girl, you've some issues to work out or this friendship thing is never going to work."

"You're right." She checked out a Prada handbag and cringed at the price. "One of the main issues is that the physical attraction… is still there." She blushed.

"Wow," Monique said, relishing the interesting turn of events. "Really?"

"Oh yeah"

"That may complicate things; especially now that you're traveling to the wedding together."

"I'm well aware of that Monique……Sometimes, I feel like I'm subconsciously leading him on."

"Subconsciously? Are you sure you don't still have feelings for the boy?"

"I'm not going to deny I have some _feelings _but they're not the feelings that Ron wants from me."

"You're sure about that?"

"Monique, the way I see it, if you have to ask yourself 'Am I in love', it usually means you're not."

Monique shook her head "I hope your right about that. I worked as a Sunshine Spreader too and I got to talk to a lot of the old folks who, when alone, a lot of them will talk about sweethearts from long ago, and how some youthful foolishness or nasty temper would lose them their one true love. They may have married, they may be happy, but they still remember the one who got away."

"Hmmm" Kim didn't say a word for a few minutes and then. "True love... it shouldn't be too hard to notice that you've found true love, right?"

"Don't ask me, I've never been more than a crushing sheep." She stopped short of picking a shirt off the rack. "I just realized that if the super stud of seduction went through all that trouble just to tweak you at the party, than imagine what he'll do at the wedding."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"_What's keeping him?"_ Kim honked the car horn for what seemed like the tenth time. _"We need to get to the road soon."_

She had been parked outside of Ron's house for what seemed like a half hour. Finally a about a minute later, she saw Ron walk out of house with a large bag draped over his shoulders. He placed the bag in the trunk and then took his place in the passenger side of the car.

"Hey KP, sorry about being late… I had a rough morning." He said as he slammed the passenger side door. "Let's roll."

She pulled out of the driveway and they began their long drive; it was the day before the wedding, and they were on a road trip to the home of the bride, where both sides of the families were gathering.

Ron turned to her. "You know, you've never asked me too drive."

"Huh, what do you mean?"

"You never ask me to drive."

She stared at him. "Where's this coming from?"

"I'm just saying I've never heard you ask me to drive. How come?"

Kim looked from the road back to Ron. "I just assumed you didn't want to."

"You're right, I don't. Nevertheless, that doesn't mean you shouldn't ask."

"What?"

"It's like when I had the breakfast burrito. I assumed you didn't want any because of the salty fat."

"Saturated fat."

"Whatever, I assumed you didn't want any, but I still offered you some."

She looked at him incredulously. "So even if I know you don't want to drive, I should still ask?"

"You didn't know I didn't want to drive."

"You just said."

"You assumed I didn't want to drive. You assumed correctly, but assuming isn't the same thing as knowing."

"Well now I know."

Ron scoffed. "Hindsight is 20-20."

"Ron."

"Yes."

"Do you want to drive?"

"No thank you," he said, before turning his attention to the landscape outside of his window.

"Ron, I don't know what makes you so annoying but it works perfectly."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

So far the trip had been going smoothly, but for some reason Kim noticed that Ron ad been unusually quiet for a long period of time. He had been so lost in thought for most of the ride that he had failed to notice Kim staring intently at him.

"Are you ok?" she said curiously.

"I'm fine," he said dismissively.

"Come on, I can tell when something is bothering you, what's the matter?"

Ron ran his hand down the back of his neck "So I was sitting on the toilet…"

Kim shook her head. "Ugh, I'm so glad I asked."

"I had the comics page from the newspaper in one hand and a pop tart in the either."

"Why?" she said incredulously.

"I was multitasking alright; I didn't want to be late for the trip."

"And yet…" she countered

"Look are you going to listen to me or not?" He paused to give her time to comment. "Okay then, so I was sitting there and all of a sudden I got this weird feeling."

"Feeling?"

"Yeah, for some reason….out of the blue it occurred to me that I was almost out of school and I had no long term or short goals for the future. Then I was suddenly filled with doubt and uncertainty, it was very unpleasant."

"So what did you do?"

"What else could I do, I watched a DVD until it went away. But it took awhile; I had to watch the extended version of Lord of the Rings just to start feeling like myself again."

"So that's why you were late, because you were watching Lord of the Rings?"

"I felt like crap, I needed it."

"You know," she kept her eyes on the road; "maybe your junior year of college is a good time to start thinking about your future."

Ron scratched his head. "I've given it about a minute's thought and I think the best course of action is for me to leech off of you for the rest of my life."

"You can't be serious?"

"Look, I don't need much; just give me a couch to sleep on and a mini fridge. I'll be fine"

"Ron," she said with a disapproving look.

"Come on, we both know you'll be loaded. Are you telling me your huge mansion won't have a guest room I can use?"

"You know that's not the point."

"The basement, are you saying I can't sleep in you basement? You rather I live in the streets?" Ron shook his head. "And here I thought we were friends."

"What I'm saying," she said matter-of-factly, "is that if you focus your energies and start, you know, maybe working at something, you can be anything you want."

Ron scoffed. "Yeah, I'll get right on that."

"I'm serious; you can be whatever you want if you just put some effort into it. You're creative; you have plenty of untapped potential…"

"Wait a minute," Ron interrupted, "stop being the Yang to my Ying for a minute and try to understand that maybe- I- don't- want- to- do-anything. Is it that wrong for a person to have no ambition or motivation?"

"Oh come on, everyone has some type of career they'd like."

"I'd like to wake up filthy rich, but that already happened to me once. I doubt that'll get a second chance."

"There's got to be some hobby you like that you can translate into a career."

"Here's the problem with that, the second I start thinking of doing something as a career, it becomes work, and work is never as much fun as a hobby. Never"

"You're being unreasonable. Are you telling me there is nothing you do now that you'd like to do for a living?"

"Nope," Ron said quickly. He tapped on the dashboard for a moment; the conversation seemingly at an end.

"Writing," he said abruptly. "I mean, I write a little and it's not that bad."

She was pleasantly surprised. "You write?"

"No I… uh, I've written a few chapters of fanfiction…"

"Fan Fiction, I thought you meant real writing."

"Ha, ha, I've written other stuff… some short stories, a poem or two…"

"Really? Why didn't you tell me, you could have helped me with my poem for my English class?"

"I didn't say anything because… I…" he looked up at the ceiling, "my early writings are… some dark… angsty… depressing stuff…"

"Oh… so I can assume you started writing after the ahem breakup."

"Bingo."

"I can see where that can be uncomfortable to share… So….when can I read some of them?"

Ron rolled down his window. "I need some air."

"Can I read them?"

"No… no I can't even read them, they're terrible… I was not in a right state of mind when I wrote them… but they were kind of therapeutic….especially that one story about the witch who stole the hero's heart and fed it to a dragon at the end….

"WHAT?"

"So getting back to the original point of the conversation, if I had to do something I'd write."

"So why don't you?" she said flatly.

"Because writing is hard," Ron said, before turning his attention back outside of his window.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The wind blew through Kim's hair as she reached for the car radio and turned the volume up. In the passenger's side, Ron began to sway to the rhythm of the song.

Kim's fingers tapped on the steering wheel as she began to sing. "LA proved too much for the man---"

Ron chimed in with the background voices. "Too much for a man, he couldn't take it."

"--He couldnt make it," Kim continued, "so he's leaving a life he's come to know---"

"He said he's going!"

"---He said he's going back to find---"

"Going back to find."

"---What's left of his world; the world he left behind not so long ago. He's leaving."

"Leaving!"

"On that midnight train to Georgia---"

Ron rolled up a magazine to use as a microphone. "Leaving on a midnight train!"

"----Said he's going back---"

"Going back to find!"

Ron pointed the 'microphone' towards Kim. "---To find a simpler place and time---"

He brought it back to his face "Whenever he takes that ride. Guess who's gonna be right by his side," he sang quickly.

"--I'll be with him---"

"I know you will!"

"---On that midnight train to Georgia---"

"Leaving on a midnight train to Georgia, woo woo!"

"----I'd rather live in his world----"

"Live in his world."

"--Than live without him in mine----"

They swayed from side to side in unison. "World, world, is his and hers alone!"

"---He kept dreaming---"

"Dreaming!" Ron sang with his eyes closed.

"--That some day he'd be a star—"

Ron rapidly shook his head. "A superstar, but he didn't get far."

"---But he sure found out the hard way, that dreams don't always come true!"

Ron wagged his finger back and forth as he shook his head. "Dreams don't always come true, uh huh, no, uh huh."

"--So he spurned all his hopes----"

"Ooh, ooh, ooh ooh!"

"---And even sold his old car---" Kim sang solemnly.

"Woo, woo, woo!"

"---For a one way ticket back to the life he once knew, oh yes he did, he said he would He's leaving!---"

"Leaving!"

"---On that midnight train to Georgia----"

"Leaving on a midnight train."

"----Yeah, said he's going back to find----"

"Going back to find!"

"--A simpler place and time!--"

Ron pointed to Kim. "Whenever he takes that ride, guess who's gonna be right by his side."

They turned towards each other, now face to face. "---I'm gonna be with him--

"I know you will," Ron sang back to her.

"---On that midnight train to Georgia---"

"Leaving on a midnight train to Georgia, woo woo!"

She slowed it down. "I'd rather live in his world---"

"Live in his world," Ron sang back slowly with his eyes once again closed.

"---Than live without him in mine----"

"World, world, it's his, his and hers alone! One Love!"

"---One Love--- "

"All aboard."

"----Gonna board the midnight train to go—"

They began to sway together again. "----My World---"

"All aboard."

"---His world---"

"All aboard."

"---Our World----"

"Midnight train to go!"

"---Mine and his alone---"

Kim placed his her left hand in the air as if she praising the heavens. "I've got to go---"

Ron began to clap. "One world."

"---I've got to go—"

"All aboard."

"---I've got to go---"

"Midnight train to go!"

"---My world---"

"One world."

"---His world---"

"All aboard."

"--My man---"

"Midnight train to go!"

"---His girl!"

They hummed the rest of the song as it faded out in the car radio. For the next half hour they drove along in silence until she thought about a more interesting topic.

"By the way, what happened after the party?"

Ron was caught off guard. "What?" Why was she springing this on him all of sudden. That topic should be left on the "Leave well enough alone" pile.

"The party, remember, with SPR and his groupies."

"Yeah, I remember."

"So?"

"So what?"

"So what happened did the night end with the pleasured cries of boo-yah echoing off the walls?"

"I'll have you know, I don't say boo-yah anymore while I'm in the act… I stopped doing that after we broke up… I've out grown that."

"You have? Hmmm," she said with a knowing smile.

"Yes, I have, and what's with the smile?"

"I'm not smiling." Her smile had changed into a grin. "So nothing happened? I don't believe it."

"Truthfully, I got close to a girl, but something came up."

"I'm sure it did."

Ron did a double take "Why Ms. Possible, was that a dirty joke? What would your father say if he heard you?"

She chuckled. "I couldn't help myself. Come on; at least tell me who it was. I bet you liked that girl with the blonde highlights."

Ron waved the idea off. "Her? Nah, she never even crossed my mind."

"Really, I thought she was really good looking."

Ron shook his head.

"Now I know you're lying, she was prettier than me."

"What? She was average at best." He had no idea why he was lying. He had no logical reason to; yet he here he was

"No, she's really pretty."

"Look, take it from me, I was there. I was staring at her, she was nothing special."

"Please, she was, like, the standard of American beauty."

"Ah get out of here."

"So what you are trying to tell me is that you weren't attracted to any of those girls at the party."

Ron felt a massive headache coming on. "Ok fine… I almost spent the night with Marsha, the dark haired girl who sat across from me."

"The girl who was feeding you the pretzels?"

"Yeah, that's the one," Ron replied.

"She was pretty too."

"Yep," Ron agreed.

"Although…" she paused for a moment as she chose her next words carefully, "I mean, did you notice she kind of had a crazy look in her eye."

"Yeah, that's kind of what attracted me to her." Ron glimpsed at her from the corner of the eye to study her reaction.

"Are you serious?"

"Of course, I've always wanted to date a crazy chick, the kind of girl that might set your mattress on fire after being intimate. The kind that sleeps on a bed of knives"

"I know you're joking."

"No, I'm serious," Ron, said enjoying the moment, "nothing is hotter than a crazy chick. It's the whole danger aspect. Is she going to French you or is she going to break a bottle over your head and lick your wounds? You have no idea, and either way it's hot."

"Well if you're so into crazy violent chicks, why didn't you ever ask Shego out?"

Both of Ron's hands came to his face ala Home Alone. "Me, go out with Shego, how come I've never thought of that? Oh wait, I have, in my fantasies."

Kim gave him a dark stare.

He recovered quickly. "Those fantasies were pre-and-post our relationship, of course."

She turned back to the road "Of course"

"If it makes you feel any better, uh… you weren't exactly a stranger to those fantasies. It was kind of a group effort."

"Alright, this discussion is over."

"Fine with me" He folded his arms behind his head. "I'll just recede into my mind for now."

Kim took her eyes off the road and watched as Ron closed his. A smile slowly but surely formed on his face.

"Stop it."

"What's the problem?" Ron said. "Oh yeah, there's no reason to fight. Why don't you give her a hug? Yeah, her hair is flippy isn't it?"

She playfully hit him on the shoulder. "Hey, cut it out!"

Ron leaned back into his seat. "Ladies, there's no need to wrestle in Jell-O, there's plenty of the Ron-man to go around."

"Ron!"

"What, what am I doing?" He laughed. "Let me imagine in peace."

"Keep me out of your twisted fantasies. It's sick and wrong on thousands of levels."

"A wise man once said a man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. And right now I'm becoming a late night cable movie… oooo you're a bad girl aren't you? Its ok, let Kimmie get you out of that jumpsuit."

"Ron!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"**Did you find it yet?" she whispered in the darkness.**

"**No I think I lost it… wait I found it… damn, why do they make these so hard to open. It's not like I've got all the time in the world." A soft crackling sound echoed through the darkness. **

"**Alright I'm ready… uh KP, are you sure your parents are gone?" **

"**Yeah, they're going out for the rest of the night… now come here, I've got a fever and the only prescription is a little Ron shine."**

**The sounds in the darkness quickly changed from fast breathing to slow purring.**

"**OW! Hey, what are you doing?" she asked.**

"**Sorry, I just slipped." **

"**Make sure you don't _slip_ again."**

"**Sorry…"**

_**Smack **_

"**What the… Ron, did you just spank me?"**

"………………………………**Yea…"**

"…**...Do it again."**

**Time stopped when suddenly the living room lights came on. Apparently, Mr. Possible had forgotten his wallet. So the Possibles had returned home only to find their only daughter intertwined in a very intimate (intimate being the cleanest way to describe it) position with her long time BFF. **

"**Mom! Dad! What are you doing back so soon?" **

**Ron leaped to his feet. "This isn't what it looks like!" He shouted loudly when he saw the shock on Mrs. Possible's face. Unfortunately, he had jumped up so quickly that he twisted his right ankle. **

"**Ouch!" he yelled as he attempted to reach for his foot with his right hand and cover his fading interest with the other. By then, the color had completely drained from Anne Possible's face.**

"**Ronald, watch out," James Possible called out as Ron, who was now attempting to escape with one foot the air, crashed into a bookcase, and watched helplessly as a vase rolled of the top of the bookcase and landed onto his head. Sensing the world slip, he used his last bit of strength to make sure he fell onto his stomach**

"**Ron!" Kim rushed to his side, "are you ok?" **

"**Kim… don't let the paramedics see my shame," he stammered before blacking out.**

**Ron waded through a sea of darkness when he heard the faint sounds of familiar voices.**

"**Well honey, at least they were having safe sex." **

_**Mrs. Possible. **_

"**Safe? If it was so safe why did he end up in the hospital?" **

_**Mr. Possible… at least he sounds amused. **_

**He opened his eyes. Thankfully, the night's incident was just a fuzzy memory. Although he couldn't remember exactly what happened, he knew deep down that it was the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to him, and that was saying a lo.**

"**Ah, he's awake. I'll go tell Kim." Ron watched in despair as Anne walked out of the room. **

**James coughed. "How are you feeling Ronald?" **

_**Black hole deep **_

_**Black hole deep**_

**The words bounced about in Ron's hazy mind. He had to say something, something to diffuse the situation, anything to save his life. **

"**Uh… um… I love her." It was the only thing he could think of, and it was kind of the truth. **

**James stared up at the ceiling. "I'm sure you do and I respect that… I know you and Kim are adults now…"**

**Ron wondered if it was possible to die from awkwardness. He would welcome death actually, then he wouldn't have to face the man whose daughter he was currently…doing stuff with**

**James coughed again. "Right… so just um… what I'm trying to say is… out of sight, out of mind… is that, um, clear enough?" **

"**Crystal sir," Ron said quickly.**

"**Alright, so I should go look for Kimberly. We can continue this discussion when you're all better." **

"**Yeah, that's a good idea." **

**James quickly rushed towards the door and closed it quickly behind him. He let out a breath. "That's enough awkwardness to last a life time." **

"**How'd it go?" **

**James was startled to see his daughter standing before him. "Oh Kimmie-cub, we had a nice chat and well… um, it was productive."**

'**Really?" She asked earnestly.**

"**Yes, he even told me he loved you." **

**She was slightly taken aback. "He told you that?" **

"**Yes, he…" James stopped when he saw the surprise in his daughters face, "this isn't the first time you've heard this, is it." **

"**No he told me once before---" she bit her bottom lip. "Dad how can you be sure that you love-love someone?" **

**James looked at his daughter and then back towards the door. "Oh… oh well, love is like---"**

"**I…" she interrupted, "I'm sorry, forget it… I'd better get inside." She brushed past him and entered the room. **

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron brought the magazine closer to his face. He was only a few questions from completing the "Your lover Style" questionnaire.

_Do you ever read books/magazines for sex tips or ask friends for sex advice, just so you can always be trying a new idea out in the bedroom?_

"Constantly"

_Would you ever consider being involved in a porn film if you could guarantee no one who knew you would ever see it?_

Ron honestly reflected on the question. _Yea_, he thought and checked the box.

"Ron," Kim said with a barely audible whisper.

"Yes KP," he said, his mind still on the personality quiz.

"Are you planning on, you know, getting involved with any of the girls at the wedding?"

Ron chuckled absentmindedly. "Yeah, if getting involved means meaningless se--."

_Oh crap _The cat was now out of the bag. He was not talking to Felix and the other guys. "I mean… what? Did you say something?"

She pulled the car over to the side of the road. "Okay, we need to talk."

"Talk?"

"We need talk about us."

Ugh, talking about us meant talking about him. This was how it was, even if it was her fault, she'd explain it in away where it sounded like he had done something wrong.

Ron stared blankly at her forehead "---If this friendship is going to work we have be comfortable around other----

Sometimes he'd argue with her and they'd go back and forth until she used the PDP or he'd realized he was missing a new episode of Cops and he'd concede to her victory and… wait a minute, they were no longer a couple so the same rules didn't apply here.

"----I understand that you have the right to be with whomever you want."

"Look," he interrupted, "I promise not to touch, or be touched as the case may be, by anyone in your immediate family. But I'll be honest with you; friends of the bride or groom are fair game. I won't overdo it, and I'll wait until the reception before making any move."

"That's fair I guess… I don't want this to be weird for us… I'm willing to help if you need it."

"You want to help me pick up a girl?"

"As your best friend I should support you in any way possible."

Ron stared down at his lap for a second or so. "That's fine with me. The guys and I kind of worked out a plan; I guess you can be a part of it."

They stood there in an uncomfortable silence, half not knowing what to say themselves, and half waiting for the other to say something. Then abruptly Kim returned to the road and Ron turned back to his magazine.

_Your lover style is type N. This means… you are kinky, confident, and submissive lover who prefers to give. You like relatively kinky sex, and you have the great imagination that will always keep your partner guessing and excited. You aren't afraid to try out anything you hear about. You might just be an intelligent lover, or perhaps you have some dirty dark secret kinky desires, but either way, you're never boring. You tend to be submissive in bed, so you prefer to go along with what your lover likes rather than your own plans. You maybe lacking in courage so you prefer firm instructions in bed to make sure you are doing things right, long story short, you maybe a model sex partner._

_And I've been dumped twice why? _"Take a look at this." He handed Kim the magazine

"Ron I'm trying to drive. "Your lover style" What is this?"

"My results, are they true? I've never been intimate with myself _technically,_ so I need to ask someone who's had first hand experience."

She blushed when she realized what he was saying. She tossed the magazine into backseat of the car.

"Why are you even taking a test like that, is sex the only thing on your mind?"

"Of course it is. It's one of the few things I'd prefer to die doing."

"Gah," she sighed, "do you guys even think about your partner in that situation? I really don't think she would enjoy that graceful passing as much as you would. It might scar a woman for the rest of her life."

"What do I care, I'm dead. Dead men can't feel guilty."

"That is so selfish."

"Nelson D Rockefeller was one of the most powerful and famous men in the world, a multi-millionaire, a grandson of John D. Rockefeller and a former Vice-President of the United. He was a man who had everything. He died of a heart attack while he was having intercourse with his mistress. He truly lived every man's dream."

"Oh please, now you're just trying to annoy me."

"It's not always about you Kim, the man was a personal hero of mine. I'm telling you, all guys want to go out the way they came in, naked screaming and in a---"

She put her hand up "Okay, again this is where the conversation ends."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A few hours later

Mr. and Mrs. Possible greeted them the second they entered the house. They had supposedly been there for hours. The obvious people were at the rehearsal dinner, Kim and Larry's immediate family along with the bride's, the minister, as well as some out-of-town guests.

"Kimmie-cub, you finally made it," Anne said to her daughter.

"Sorry Mrs. P. We hit some massive traffic on the way over," Ron said as he gave her a light kiss on the cheek. Ron and Anne Possible had entered the "motherly kiss upon the cheek greeting" once he and Kim started their relationship.

Kim gave her father on a peck in the cheek and Ron followed that up with a handshake. "It's about time you two showed up."

James and Anne were like a second family to Ron and he had often wondered what their relationship would be like if he and Kim had a falling out. Would he have been forced to distance himself from them, would they have to awkwardly pass by each other if they met in the supermarket? His relationship with their daughter dictated his relationship with them.

"Where's Larry?" Kim asked

It wasn't hard to spot Larry and his _surprisingly_ attractive wife Linda. They were in the living room basking in the attention that such a gathering would create. According to Kim, Larry and Linda (_Larry and Linda quite a catchy couple name)_ had met in some kind of programming school whose name Ron couldn't seem to remember, Middleton Tech or something. Larry had some how hit the jackpot when he began dating what could be the only attractive programmer (female or male otherwise) in the whole state.

Kim greeted her cousin "Larry, congratulations"

Ron watched as Kim, her cousin, and his soon to be wife, went on about the wedding. Ron just stared as they talked, Larry was the same age as he was, and now he was getting married. Larry was a smart guy, he would probably have a job waiting for him the second he graduated, and he would have a gorgeous wife by his side. It was amazing how they seemed to be heading down two different paths. Ron on the other hand, besides his friendship with Kim and his good looks, had absolutely nothing going for him.

Kim abruptly elbowed him in the stomach.

"Oh, congrats Larry" Ron returned from his depressing haze to greet the hosts. "Hey Lar I'm surprised, I imagined that you'd have a sci-fi themed wedding."

"Oh, we so wanted to," Linda exclaimed to Ron's surprise, "but the folks just wouldn't have it. I was personally thinking an Anakin and Padame wedding from Episode 2." She looked lovingly at Larry. "Larry just looks so sexy in his Jedi robe."

_My God, Larry's found the Holy Grail. _

"Lar I'm afraid to say. I had no idea what to get you guys as a wedding gift----

"That's fine Ron you could have given us a gift certificate for all we care." Larry said

"Gift certificate? Ridiculous, that's like I'm giving you cash but I'm telling you where to spend it. Forget that, I got you guys the latest Planet of WarCraft game----"

"Great," Larry exclaimed

"Oh my God, we so wanted that game but had to put off getting because of the wedding." Linda ran her hands along Larry's back. "Now my level 60 paladin and your level 70 wizard can get hitched just like we are."

Kim's eyes went wide "their online wedding might have more guests then their real one," she whispered to Ron and he happened to agree.

After another five minutes of wedding chatter between Kim and the happy couple, Ron slowly crept away from the group. As much as he liked Larry, something about him finding the perfect woman for himself was strangely irritating.

"Ron!" He turned just as someone's arms wrapped around his neck.

"I've been looking all over fer ya."

"Hey Joss, long time no see."

She pulled away from him "What took yall so long to get here?"

"We had to stop for awhile and talk about some personal stuff." Ron took a good look at Kim's cousin. "So Joss, you're growing up to be quite the young hottie."

Ahem

He practically jumped out his shoes. "Geez Kim," he said as he clutched his chest, "don't sneak up on me like that."

"Howdy cousin, you just in time to see me and Ron get down to some serious flirting." She winked at him.

"No…no…" he said on the verge of hyperventilating. "I was just giving her a simple, friendly compliment."

"Don't worry Ron, if Kim didn't want you flirting, than she shouldn't have quit ya."

"I didn't quit him."

Ron nodded. "She quit me Joss."

"Ron!" she turned her attention to Joss. "We had an amicable breakup."

"Well that's fine," Joss latched herself to Ron's right arm, "than you won't mind it if I entertain him for tonight."

"Why would I mind that?" Kim said sweetly.

"Great! Now Ron, have you given any thought to going out with a country gal?"

"Well… I whew" Ron looked at Kim then back at Joss. "Joss, you're coming on a little strong don't you think?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm not slow and steady like the city girls you're used to. When we country girls see something we want we reach out and grab it."

She pulled him by the arm. "Come on upstairs with me, I've got something to show ya."

"Alright," Kim stepped in front of her cousin, "this is where I draw the line."

Joss smiled. "Now cousin, I have some pictures of Team Possible I wanted him to see. I wasn't going to do anything improper."

Kim's right eyebrow rose. "Who said anything about you doing something improper? I didn't, I just need to introduce Ron to some more people."

Ron sighed. Three massive headaches in one day, this was a record for him.

"That's fine by me. Ron and I have the rest of the night to flirt… I mean, look at my pictures"

"Alright little lady, we need to get something straight----" Kim looked around for Ron, "huh, where did he go?"

XXXXXXXX

As Ron did his best to avoid Kim and Joss, he floated from group to group, engaging in simple small talk when the situation called for it. He managed to pick up a few jokes and snippets of wisdom from a few disgruntled uncles whose bitter divorces had soured them on the sacred institution of marriage, or from guys who were worried that the wedding would force unwanted 'ideas' into their girlfriends' brains.

8:00:

Young Guy: I mean you don't see James Bond getting married do you? Because he knows he can't have deadweight holding him back. I mean he's living life in the fast lane, he's surrounded by hot female spies everywhere who'd like nothing better than to get him into bed. And he's constantly fighting evil and playing poker. Can you imagine saving the world and coming home to a nagging wife? He doesn't need to pick his underwear off the floor or pee with the toilet seat up, he's James Freaken Bond. James Bond does whatever he wants.

8:30

Old Married Guy: You ever here this old joke… Did you hear about the new edition of Playboy for married men? It has the same centerfold every month

Group: Laughter

9:00

Terrified boyfriend: "That's how it is man; you have two choices in life. You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead."

Group: Collectively agree

As Ron traveled through the groups he couldn't help but reflect on the idea of marriage. He still thought of marriage as an "adult activity" and he was pretty sure he wasn't ready for such a leap. But he wouldn't lie and say it hadn't crossed his mind. At the peak of their relationship, Ron had started saving a small sum of money so when they were ready he'd buy Kim an engagement ring. Yeah, he knew they were much too young to start thinking about it, but marrying was one of the few long term goals he had ever had… now that goal would probably go unfulfilled.

Well, maybe now, he could enjoy his single life like a normal twenty one year old should. The one thing he learned from the bitter old men was that he wouldn't be young forever. He should spend the ring money on something foolish and unnecessary. Yeah, that would probably be for the best.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It came to a point where Ron couldn't stay in one place without Joss, who to his chagrin, kept winking and sending not so secret ambiguously delighted looks at him. In addition, she did not even attempt to hide it from Kim, who kept sending him daggers with her eyes from across the room. Noticing Ron's plight James Possible advised him to hide out in the garage with the twins, where Ron could keep an eye on them for him. Rather than dealing with an "energetic" Joss and a clearly annoyed Kim, Ron reluctantly agreed to twin-sitting

Inside the garage Jim called up a directory on his laptop and quickly scanned the contents. "So what's next? I'm thinking… Alice in Chains"

Tim plucked a few strings on his Stratocaster. "I was thinking a little Ozzy myself… hey; can I be the lead singer this time?"

"You're the lead guitar," said Tim, "I'm the singer."

"Why can't I be the singer?"

"I think it's obvious my voice has ten times more rockability than yours!"

"We sound the same!"

"Guys, you can just switch anytime you want. No one's going to be able to tell the difference."

Jim looked up from the laptop. "Sweet, it's Ron."

"That means Kim's here too," Tim added.

"Dudes, I hear you've started a rock band, what happened to all the sciency stuff?"

Jim laughed. "Cha, we've combined science—"

"-----and rock, so we can theoretically rock harder than anyone has ever rocked," Tim continued

"Check this out," said Tim. "I've modified this axe into a mood guitar. If we play a power ballad, it starts glowing like an eternal flame."

Ron watched in fascination as the colors on the guitar changed before his very eyes as Tim plucked a few strings on the guitar.

"Or if we get into some angry rock it glows bright red. If we get a little trippy, it gets all psychedelic." The guitar glowed with a multitude of colors and shapes that would give hippies flashbacks. "And best of all, if I'm doing a solo…"

As Tim began to riff; his fingers spider walking across the strings, a stream of smoke wafted out of the guitar and a countdown appeared at the base as if it was set to explode at any moment.

"Coolio, but where's the rest of band?" Ron asked.

Jim clicked the mouse a few times and suddenly the holographic image of a base player, a drummer, and a keyboard player magically appeared from thin air. Each of them looked liked a stereotypical hard rocker.

"They're voice activated." Tim signaled the band. "One, two, three, rock," and they came too life.

"They're modeled after all the greatest rockers at their prospective positions. They're scientifically programmed to rock at maximum capacity." Jim screamed over the music.

Tim called out "cut" and the band behind him instantly disappeared, and all was relatively quiet again. "So what do you think?"

"Its… it's the most badical thing I've ever seen."

Tim and Jim nodded to each other. "hicka bicka boo---"

"-------Hoo sha"

Jim turned his attention back to the laptop. His fingers danced over the keyboard. "We've got a surprise for you; we call this Operation Ron-back."

A new hologram appeared in the garage, this time instead of a rocker, the image of Ian appeared.

The hologram began to speak. Its voice perfectly matched Ian's. "Hey Kim are you gaining weight… I think that shirt would look better on Bonnie… If only you'd had Shego's firm butt, than you'd be perfect."

Ron found that he was momentarily tongue-tied. "I appreciate it guys, but that's a little a rough, don't you think?"

"Alright, how about this?" said Jim.

"I hate Ron, and I want you to decide, me or him."

Operation Ron-back was actually not a bad plan. "Unfortunately, Ian is a saint and he seems to like me, so I don't think Kim would be fooled by that."

"Okay, one more."

"Kim… I… think I like dudes… and I mean I really _like _dudes."

It had been a long time since Ron had laughed so hard. "Guys, your willingness to destroy your sister's relationship on my behalf is sweet. But it's just too ferociously unethical."

"All's fair in love and war dude. Whenever you need it, Operation Ron-back will be waiting." said Jim.

"Yeah Ron, you're like a big-bro to us , but we'd like to make it official."

Ron felt something swell up in his chest, it rather felt like brotherly love, and it was enough to make a grown man cry. "Aw, come here you little brats." Ron grabbed them by the head into a half hug-half-half headlock embrace. "Who knew you little demons had hearts of gold?" he teased.

"Hey, rock gods do not hug," they said in unison.

"So are you tweebs going to play at the wedding?"

Tim pulled away from Ron and looked down at his feet. "Yeah, we had planned to rock this place into the stratosphere, but…."

"Mom said we could only play if she could pick the songs."

"Mrs. P is into Rock? What are you going to play?"

Jim sighed "Air Supply."

Ron grimaced. "Ouch."

Tim shook his head shamefully. "Air Supply so does not rock."

Ron chuckled at their misfortune. "Yeah, that's got to be rough for some hard rockers like you."

"We could play some Nirvana and then zap the crowd with the memory ray," Tim told his brother.

"But then they'd forget the wedding. Anyway, the memory ray is only temporary."

"Look guys don't do anything drastic. Just think of this as practice. This will be your first time playing in front of a large crowd, right?"

"Yeah, you're right," Tim agreed.

Ron stretched his body. "So, now that we've settled on that, what do we do until dinner?"

Tim grinned as he pulled a paper bag of what appeared to be seeds from his back pocket. "These are Aniseeds; we found them in Linda's room. They're probably for the honeymoon."

"Aniseeds?"

Jim took his place by his brother's side. "Aniseeds have been used as an aphrodisiac since the Greek and the Roman eras. Sucking on the seeds is said to increases your desire."

They had piqued his interest. "So do they work?"

"We don't know, but we're thinking about feeding them to Linda's dog and finding out."

Ron quickly weighed the pros and cons in his mind. "Guys, after giving this much thought, and as the only responsible adult in this garage… I have to say that is a bon-diggety good idea."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was dinner time and the entire family had gathered in the large living room to eat. Sitting next to Ron, Kim took a bite out of her Crunchy Sweet and Sour Chicken meal.

"This is delicious."

"Mmmmhmmm," Ron agreed with a mouthful of food.

"You're saying there are eggs in here? I can hardly taste them."

Ron swallowed his food. "Well that is because you have the palette of a gerbil."

"What?"

Ron wiped his mouth with a napkin. "I said you look beautiful in that dress."

"I thought so… watch out for that bell pepper," Kim warned, "its hot."

"I can handle hot." Ron took a bite and his tongue ignited like a blowtorch. A barely audible cry escaped from his lips. "That's not hot, that's totally satanic."

"I warned you."

Ron took a sip of water to douse the flames in his mouth. He exhaled "the food is ok, I've had better. When my aunt was getting married we ate at this restaurant where the food was so delicious it had me crying halfway through the meal."

"It was that good huh?"

"Good? After I was done eating I proposed to the chef."

"We should go together someday."

Ron let her comment hang in the air for a moment before dismissing it due to its ambiguity. It probably and most likely meant nothing. "Sure why not"

Larry's father tapped his fork against his water glass. He kept it up until he had everyone's attention. "Today is a very special day for all of us."

Kim glanced at the groom-to-be. "I'm here and I still can't believe it, Larry's getting married."

"Did the wedding bug bite you yet?"

"Hardly… I'm nowhere near getting married yet."

"I remember a time when you couldn't wait to get married. You put on your mom's wedding dress and walked around the house singing, "I feel pretty'."

"I was nine."

"And, coincidently enough, you were pretty."

"There are so many people we'd like to thank," said Larry's mother. Linda is smiling up at her mother, trying her best to fight back tears. Larry sat beside her, blushing fiercely.

"I wonder if what they have is true love," Kim said.

"Why wouldn't it be? They're getting married tomorrow."

"If it's not true love, than the marriage won't last, and they'll jut end up hurt. Marriage is rough. Think about it this way it's not just Larry's dirty underwear on the floor every once in awhile, its Larry's underwear on the floor for the rest of your life."

"Very good point… you know, I'm finally starting to understand why we broke up."

"What? We went over it about a dozen times."

"Yea we did, but I didn't believe a word you said. For awhile, I thought it was all my fault."

"Why would you think that?"

"KP, why wouldn't I?" He said simply before returning to his meal.

"Doggone it, what's wrong with this dang dog," Slim Possible cried as a German Shepard attempted to straddle his leg.

Then, for some inexplicable reason unknown to Kim or the other guests, Ron and the tweebs roared with laughter.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I don't care if it is from Allison. I can't believe you guys opened Ron's mail," Felix said.

"You want to know what's in there just as much as we do," Phil countered.

Felix sighed and reached into the large brown envelope and pulled out small piece of paper.

"What's it say?" Ritchie asked.

"It's an invitation and backstage passes to the big Comic Con next weekend."

"Does it say anything about us in there?"

"The invitations are for Ronald Stoppable and guests."

The guests groaned. "She didn't even remember our names," Phil sighed.

"You know what this means don't you? She's probably been thinking about Ron since they met." Felix told them.

Phil nodded. "And he probably hasn't thought about her once. Ten to one he didn't even pick up on the vibe she was giving him."

"Of course he hasn't," Ritchie shouted, "he's too busy chasing Kim Possible around Benny Hill style across the whole damn countryside. When he's got Kim on the brain he doesn't think about anything else. Do you remember when he was still dating her and that pizza delivery girl was eyeing him. The only way that she could have made it more obvious that she wanted him was if she dropped in front of him on all fours with her butt in the air. I'm not saying he should have cheated on his girlfriend but he could have at least considered the possibility like a normal man."

"No one is saying Ron is not a little oblivious. But he's out there at the wedding trying to get over Kim right now."

Ritchie pulled out his wallet and slapped some money on Felix's bed. "I bet money that as long as he's within fifty feet of Kim, he won't touch a soul."

Felix looked at the money.

"Do you want to bet?"

Felix remained silent.

Ritchie scooped up his money. "I thought so… listen guys… we have to hook Ron up with this Allison chick. It's for his own good."

Felix and Phil were taken aback. "Are you saying you want to help someone out for once?" Felix asked.

"They're not even dating and she's already sending us cool stuff… but I digress… this is the best thing that could happen to Ron. A smoking hot chick that is into comics is perfect for him. Finally Captain Ahab can stop chasing his red headed whale. "

Felix looked back down at the invitations and gave the idea some serious thought. Maybe it would be better for Ron if he got his mind off of Kim for awhile "You guys might be right."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N So far it's better than the last one right…RIGHT?

1) Yep Allison will be back on the next update. Chapter Five  
2) I'd prefer it if you took the time to review this chapter before going on to chapter four, But I can't force you too so… "Whatever"


	4. Paradise by the Dashboard Light

A/N STOP! For those who haven't noticed I've re-written chapter three so if you've only read the chapter three I wrote last week than you need to go back and re-read it

Ok let's bring this debacle on home. Hurray for self doubt! There are certain scenes at the end of this chapter that may confuse some people but it you re-read the begining of chapter 3 it should make sense. Either way it'll be a hit or a miss for you

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**"Haw! Haw!" laughed General Sanders, who resembled an actor fresh out of a Civil War re-enactment. "You ain't given up yet, lass? Wal, you doggone should. The President we'll be hyar to-night. And he wonts get his kin back until he accepts the South's succession."**

**The General and his two henchmen laughed triumphantly. **

"**Are you still hung up on the Civil War? It was like five hundred years ago?" Ron remarked. **

"**Ron, don't agitate the villains," Kim told him.**

**He and Kim were tied to a pillar in the center of the room. They had failed to infiltrate General Sander's HQ and had been forced into captivity.**

"**Darn right, you best hush up Yankee," Sanders shouted. **

"**Yankee?" Ron said with shock. "Why I'm a good ole boy from Florida like Skynard." **

"**He's right, Skynard is from Florida," said one henchman.**

"**Shut up, that's errelevant to the sitaeation, no matter how much we love Skynard. Ok son, I hates most parts of Florida. Which part of Florida are ya from?"**

"**Uh" Ron stammered stalling. **

"**Hurry and answer boy what part are ya from? **

"**Um…the southern part"**

**Sanders stroked his beard. "That's a good answer." **

**Kim lowered her head. "Is it me, or are the villains getting stupider?" she muttered under her breath.**

"**Here's what I'll doos for yall, instead of shooting ya in the head with my rifle. I'll just drown ya in a hundreds of gallons of my pappy's famous BBQ sauce."**

"**You should be proud, the General was saving that sauce for the Pres-i-dent after we double crossed em." **

**Sanders smacked his henchmen in the head with his hat. "Dagnabbit Bubba, stop giving away all our plans."**

**He turned back to the heroes. "Don't worry young-ins, my pappy's BBQ sauce will have you smacking your lips all the way to the pearly gates."**

"**I guess there are worse ways to die," Kim said. **

"**Any last requests?"**

"**Freebird?" Ron suggested.**

**General Sanders stroked his beard again. "Hmm, not a bad request. Noting like a little Skynard before gitting down to some good ole fashion, hero killing." He turned to his henchmen. "Look alive boys, come and give me a had with the stereo." **

**Kim watched as they exited through the only door in the room. She began to struggle against the ropes. "Nice job Ron, you've just brought us some time."**

"**Good, now we can talk about why you haven't told me you loved me yet." **

"**What?" **

"**Oh yeah, I've said it dozens of times. I've said it playfully, uncertainly, nonchalantly, and with sincerity. But uh, I haven't heard you say it once." **

"**I've said it," she said defensively. **

**Ron shook his head. "Nope, every time I've said it, you've answered with a ditto, or right back ya, or you change the subject by rubbing up against me, which FYI… I don't really have a problem with."**

"**Can't we talk about this later?" **

"**I'd like to talk about this now." **

**She gulped. "I'm just waiting for a special moment, that's all," she said quickly.**

"**Special moment? How about after we rescued the Declaration of Independence, and when were trapped on the top of Mt. Rushmore when fireworks were going off. Or maybe when Global Justice rescued us from that island when we were stuck there for a week? Oh wait, how about during that Eurotrip after we defeated Monkey Fist, DNAmy, Drakken, Shego, Senior Senior, Senior Juinor and Killigan, and then we parachuted to the steps of the Parthenon. That could have been one of the most romantic experiences ever but you still didn't say it. Hey, what about right now since we're about to be killed!" Ron said clearly flustered. **

"**Look Ron, I don't want to be pressured into saying it."**

"**No one is pressuring you to do anything. I'd just like to hear you say I love you before I die. It's not really fair, I've never held anything back for you and this one… this one thing you can't give me… I'm not going to wait for it forever you know!" **

**She was speechless.**

"**Just say it once!"**

**Just say it once? It would probably be easier after she said it once than she could keep saying enough until she convinced herself that it was truth. She always had a great time being with Ron but love…what did it even mean? They were still crazy kids in the eyes of the world, playing with something they weren't sure off. It wasn't something you said haphazardly, people could get hurt. Love was just such a….**

"**Love is kind of a strong word don't you think?" She regretted saying it the moment it came out of her mouth. **

"………………**.."**

"**Ron, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Are you ok?" **

"**Give me a minute, this is a new type of pain for me. I don't think my brain has fully registered how hurt I should be."**

**Kim freed her arms from the ropes and swiftly undid the knot that held them against the pole.**

"**Oh Ron, I'm so sorry." She gave him a light peck on the lips. "It's fine, when we get home we'll work it out. We'll be fine."**

"**Yeah sure," Ron replied. "We can work this out." **

**Suddenly the only door to the room opened and Bubba stepped into the room. "Hey do yall want to hear Freebird from the greatest hits album or from the live album… Hey, yall supposed to be tied up." **

**Before Bubba could react Kim was upon him. With a swift kick to the groin, he was down for the count. **

"**Come on Ron," Kim called out to him, "we've got to stop Sanders." She ran out of the room.**

"**Right behind you KP." Ron looked sympathetically at Bubba on the ground. His face wracked with pain, his hands wrapped around his wounded manhood. He was now immobile, vulnerable, dealing with an immeasurable amount of pain. **

**Ron nodded to the man as he passed him. They were kindred spirits, except Ron's pain was more emotional than physical. However, they would both have to walk it off. **

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Wedding Day:

The wedding itself was beautiful, sitting next to the Possible family, Ron watched as Larry took his place next to the best man in front of a raised stage and a podium surrounded by flowers.

A hush falls over the audience as the minister cleared his throat. Then, everything happened at once, organ music filled the air, Larry began to cry, the bridal march started, flashbulbs popped everywhere, Linda grinned from ear to ear and mouthed greetings to people on both sides of the aisle.

Kim looked radiant as a bridesmaid (even though it was obvious the bridesmaid dresses were especially designed to make the bride look even hotter). Combined with the music and free flowing tears around him, he couldn't help but have a lump in his throat.

Normally he would have expected a vision of Kim and himself walking down the aisle. But he got the opposite, a nightmarish image of Mr. Possible delivering his only daughter to Ian.

As for him, he was outside in the rain, banging on the locked church door, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"DON"T DO IT! DON"T YOU DO IT!" he weeps, the rain washing the tears from his eyes, "I'VE GOT NOWHERE ELSE TO GO. I'VE GOT NOWHERE ELSE TO GO!"he cried against the door

Pathetic doesn't even begin to describe the scene. Unfortunately, he was on this path of self-destruction. Something had to give. He was ninety-nine percent sure that Kim did not love-love him. She said so herself. He had to move on somehow, someway.

He wiped a tear from his eye. "And I promised myself I wouldn't cry."

_What was it about weddings that woman loved so much?_ Kim thought as she took in the gala event.

She knew she wanted to get married, just not yet. Getting married was a monumental life altering decision from which there is no return. Well technically, there should be no return from it, but that doesn't stop half the people who get married.

"Till death do us part"

Kim studied Larry and Linda carefully; she hoped that they had found love. But than again what does real love look and feel like? Sometimes, people are just too scared to stay single. Being with someone can be a habit when one has simply gotten used to their partner.

"I do"

She suddenly started thinking about Ron.

_Ron, he needed more, he deserved more. Unfortunately, I'm not the one to give it to him._

"You may now kiss the bride."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The rest of thee ceremony went off without a hitch. Without warning everyone was shuffled off to the reception. The bride and groom were herded through a tunnel of photographers and then they were eventually pushed towards the dance floor for the first dance.

Everything happened in a blur by the time the food had arrived, Kim wasn't sure if five minutes or five hours had gone by. She sat at a table with her brothers and Joss.

Tim exhaled "Well we better----"

"----Go set up our equipment."

"Break a leg you guys," Kim told her brothers as they left the table.

"What happened to Ron?" Joss asked.

"You mean SPR?" Kim said trying to disguise the hint of venom in her voice.

"Who?"

Kim jerked her head to the left. "He's over there."

Ron closed his eyes "It's just that… Liz loved weddings."

"Awww, that's so sweet." The girls who sat at his table cooed

Ron sat with a group of three girls who he was positive had passed the main criteria of not being related to Kim by blood. It didn't take long for him to capture their hearts with a tearjerker story of heartbreak and rejection, sprinkled with a dash of embellishment.

"Look at me; I'm depressing all of you. You guys don't want to hear my story."

"No, don't say that."

"Yes it's true. Today's supposed to be a happy day." Ron traced his fingers along the outside of a plate. If I learned anything from this wedding, it is that love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." He sniffed.

They stared at him with love or more specifically lust, in their eyes. Not that he minded, lust, love, whatever, he'd take anything at this point.

As if on cue, the wedding singer waved his arms as if summoning the audience to a dance floor. "It seems we have a shy crowd tonight, so we're going to have a good old fashion dance contest to get things started."

A synapse fired in Ron's brain "Excuse me ladies I owe a friend a dance" he lied. Ron left the table and approached Kim and Joss. "Kim, dance with me."

"What?"

"You wanted to help me pick up some girls, remember? And I need a good dance partner to show off my best stuff."

"Why don't you dance with one of the other _girls_?"

"No I can't do it unless it's with someone I'm comfortable with"

"But----

Ron turned to Joss. "Joss would you---"

"Fine, let's go." Kim said quickly.

They followed four pairs of couples to the dance floor. "Look Kim, I've got to warn you, Elizabeth really liked a certain kind of dancing that you and I have never done before."

"So?"

"You're not used to this kind of dancing. But it's the only way for me to impress the ladies around here. Moreover, I'm probably going to have to apologize to Mr. P too."

"Hold on, what am I getting myself into here?"

"This dancing can get a little dirty." When the music started, he grasped her waist tightly and pulled her closer to himself.

"Hey," she cried out from surprise.

"Don't get weirded out by my staring. Dancing like this requires a lot of eye contact."

"Ok."

"Second, just follow my lead and everything will be fine."

The two moved around the dance floor using only basic steps at first until Kim got used to Ron's rhythm. He spun Kim off into a turn that carried her towards the center off the dance floor, and then he slowly danced his way over to her. Upon reaching her he rotated his hips in a small circle until it met with hers

"Whoa, was that?"

"Just trust me," he said sheepishly.

They stepped forward and back before slowly gliding across the floor in perfect unison kicking their heels from side to side. He then turned her under his arm and she followed that by turning him the same way.

"You're catching on quickly KP."

"Thanks."

"Is my staring bothering you?"

"No, it's fine" The truth was, he was gazing deep in her eyes and it was driving her wild. She could feel all the blood rushing to her face.

"Ok, I'm going to move on to the next level."

_The next level what could be possible a level higher than---_

Abruptly Ron began grinding his hips into hers and the dance turned rather intimate rather quickly.

_-----oooooooo_

He grabbed her by the hand the twirled her in multiple spins around him, she spun so rapidly causing her dress to flow beautifully around her. When the spin ended he quickly pulled her back toward him.

Ron turned her around so that her back faced him. She reached behind her and wrapped her arms around his neck. This time, she initiated contact and pressed her body against his.

"Hey Kim…. you… you're really getting into this…ok now listen its…"

"Shhhh," she told him as she dipped down to the floor than back up all while aggressively rubbing against him.

"MMMMMMM," she purred as she returned to her original position, "…..you were saying?"

"It's time for the grand finale," he whispered the final part of the dance into her ear. Then she turned back to face him. He dipped her again and she popped right back up, their faces now inches from each other. It was physically impossible to get in any closer. They picked up the rhythm, spinning together, dancing as one perfect unit.

Then Ron spun away and slowly danced away from her. He put his arms above his head. Kim nodded before she took two steps back for good measure then she ran forward into a flying leap, arms and legs outstretched.

The audience held its breath as Kim made a perfect landing right into Ron's awaiting hands, he held her up and balanced her perfectly. Ron held her up for a moment before letting her drop to the ground. But before she hit the floor, his arm hooked her knee and his other hand grabbed her elbow and Kim stopped abruptly her face inches from the ground, just as the music came to a stop.

"Heh," Ron muttered through his heavy breathing, "Liz was always too afraid to try that move."

"That was the first time you've done it?" Kim huffed her face still brushing the floor

"Yep, I'm really surprised I caught you in time." Ron released her from his hold and she got back to her feet.

"Hey, where did everybody go?" They found that they ere the only ones on the dance floor.

Ron shielded his eye and looked up at the ceiling. "Where did this spotlight come from?"

Then the eerie silence around them was shattered as the crowd erupted in applause, cheers and wolf whistles, could be heard from every corner of the room.

The crimson splotches on Kim's face and neck spread to her entire face.

"I guess we won."

"I just realized that my parents were watching."

"They've seen worse, remember?"

"Oh right." She lowered her head as they walked back to their table. Ron waved to the crowd as they walked by. Kim returned to her seat with crimson splotches that spread from her neck to her entire face.

She used a napkin to wipe the sweat from her face. Their body rhythm had been too familiar; it had forced her to relive certain vivid memories. Pleasant memories of late night visits to the tree house or spontaneous 'adventures' in the Stoppable's garage, or that one time things got a little out of hand in that Club Banana dressing room.

"Why cousin, you like all hot and bothered."

"Whew I just need to catch my breath."

"That's a good idea Kim, you rest up. Ron and I can go shake a leg," Joss exclaimed.

"No! Not going to happen… Joss do you have any gum?"

Ron turned to the awaiting girls. He waved at them as they continued to applaud him "Well KP, I'll be seeing ya…" He made a move to leave.

"Wait Ron"

He stopped. "Kim, I'm kind of in a hurry."

"Oh." She fell silent for a second. "I……nothing."

Ron looked at her curiously "So I'll catch you later right?"

She did her best to seem cheerful "sure….have fun"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Unfortunately, the next twenty minutes for Ron were not as simple he had imagined they would be. SPR had the girls in the palm of his hand, he had impressed them with his 'sensitivity' and the dirty dancing had made him even more desirous in their eyes.

But there was something nagging him in the back of his mind. He had felt something… a vibe coming from Kim as they danced, a familiar vibe that he had forgotten about, a feeling of wanting. At first he had chalked it up to his overactive imagination and tried to ignore it. But now he couldn't help but keep glancing back at her table and from where he sat she seemed genuinely sad

He tried keeping one eye on the babes (especially the one who was making suggestive motions with her tongue) and the other on the table where Kim was sitting. Suddenly she got up, stared right at him with a look of disappointment on her face, and walked out.

"Excuse me ladies I've got to go." Ron followed her out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"But mom, Air Supply does suck," Tim pleaded.

"Please boys this song is a favorite of your father and I. It's actually quite beautiful."

"Of course you like it, it's a chick song."

"I haven't been called a 'chick' for quite awhile, I'm actually quite flattered." Her face suddenly dipped into the Puppy Dog Pout. "Please boys, can you do me this one favor?"

The tweebs groaned "alright". They grumbled before taking the stage. Anne and James and a group of other dancers took to the floor.

"You ready," Tim asked, "you're the lead singer."

"Whatever." Jim said as he walked up to the microphone. "We're doing this for mom. Hopefully we'll be the only people in the universe to make this song rock. One, two, three, rock!" On cue a holographic chorus of background singer/angels appeared behind them.

_I know just how to whisper. And I know just how to cry, I know just where I find the answers. And I know just how to lie, I know just how to fake it. And I know just how to scheme. I know just when to face the truth, and then I know just when to dream. And I know just where I touch you, and I know just what to prove. I know when to pull you closer, and I know when to let you loose_

"Mmmm, this takes be back," James Possible said to his wife as they slow danced together."

"Did you see Kimberly storm out of here?"

"Yes, I also saw Ron follow her out. Do you think we should to talk to them?"

"No," Anne answered, "they're at the age where they have to work this out themselves. They're adults now, I'm sure they'll make the right decision."

James dipped his wife. "I'm glad I'm not young anymore, can you imagine having to deal with those kinds of emotions again?"

"Thank God those days are behind us," she smiled.

_But I don't know how to leave you, and I'll never let you fall. And I don't know how you do it. Making love out of nothing at all._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kim was about to unlock the door when she heard someone call her name.

"Hey where are you going?" Ron said.

"I'm going back to the dorms."

"During the reception," he said incredulously, "are you insane? You need to get back inside."

"Ah what do you care, why don't you go find yourself another _girlfriend_ so you can stop talking to me for a few months again."

_Huh? _

"What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm saying, you'll just find another girl and ignore me again until she breaks up with you and then all of a sudden you need a friend again."

Ron looked around him as if to see if he could find a witness to this spontaneous madness that had infected Kim.

"What?"

She laughed. "You think you can find a meaningful relationship with those girls, just because you can seduce them by looking cute and worn out."

Ron instantly switched from the defensive to the offensive "Well I sure can't find a meaningful relationship with you! In fact, I may never find a meaningful relationship again because of you. Yeah, that's why my relationship with Liz failed, because you screwed me over so bad I couldn't see what a good thing I had with her."

"Oh don't give me that bull."

"Yeah I'm giving it to you, I'm shoving it in your face" Ron said with renewed confidence. "You've ruined me for women forever. You've practically ruined my life."

"And how did I do that?"

"How?" he laughed. "I put everything I had into that relationship and all I asked was for one thing and you couldn't even do that for me, after all I've done for you!"

"Okay don't put it all on me "Mister I have a life and I can't afford to waste any of it waiting on you to say it." Or the classic "I can't be with someone who doesn't love me," do you remember saying any of that?"

"Ha, ha, ha, ha" Ron laughed sarcastically. "You're trying to switch this back on me. Come on, we all know who the bad guy here is. We both know who did all the heart breaking."

"Broken heart huh? You sure got over that quick. Refresh my memory, how long was it before you started seeing someone else? Liz just did the same thing to you, how does it feel for someone to just jump into another relationship so soon after breaking up. It hurts, doesn't it?"

Ron briskly stepped up to her "God, you're so freaken selfish how long should I have mourned our passing huh? A year, two years….." he threw his hands in the air. "What was I supposed to do, you---made----me---cry!"

"What about when you ignored me for a few weeks. You think I didn't cry, think again."

Ron was at a lost for words. "You—you suck!"

"Oh that hurt. What happened to all that wit? Does that just magically disappear with your maturity?"

Ron turned his back to her and they were suddenly enveloped in silence. He coughed loudly as Kim looked down at her feet.

"Okay," she brushed her hair from his face, "we have some internal problems to work out."

Ron ran his hands across his face. "Right…..actually that was kind of therapeutic. You know, get everything out in the open. Now we won't have any more tension between us.

"Yeah we got everything off our chest. It's a weight has been lifted"

Ron scratched behind his ear "Wow, that was rough….. um let's get back inside and have a drink."

"No, I don't want to," she said. "I can't go back in there, it's too happy."

"Come on."

"No, I'm going back to the dorms."

Ron tilted his head and his eyes went wide. "Come on."

She smiled. "What do you think your doing?"

He willed a tiny teardrop to come out his right eye. "Please, for me."

"You think that's going to work on me?" She pushed out her bottom lip. "I'm not going."

Ron took a step back. Then he stepped forward again. "Pwease come back inside."

She tilted her head and her face drooped to new levels of cuteness; that he couldn't even begin to comprehend.

"Gah," Ron fell to one knee, "it's just too powerful." He laughed and sat down on the ground his back leaning against the side door of the car. "It's unstoppable."

"Sorry buddy, the original PDP can't be beat," Kim laughed, and then she took a seat on the ground next to him.

"Look, I have to admit I did get jealous at the party."

"And?"

"And I was jealous of those girls just now. I let things get out of hand. I'm also sorry if I've been leading you on lately, I guess I just wanted to see if you still wanted me."

"Feelings are stupid aren't they," Ron said. "And I'm sorry for whatever it is that I've done."

She chuckled. "That's not very sincere."

"Alright, the whole SPR stuff…. tweaking you at the party and the Liz thingy... I can see where that could have bothered you."

"Has any ever complimented you on how articulate you are?" she smiled. "You're such a guy when it comes to expressing emotions."

"I ams what I ams." Ron blew out a breath "God this is sad, I mean really sad, it's like sick baby sad."

"You're right; we said a lot of unnecessary and hurtful things tonight."

"I guess the old saying is true, a good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water."

It got quite enough for them to hear the sounds Jim and Tim's first concert come wafting out of the reception hall and into the parking lot.

_I can make the final block; and I can make every tackle, at the sound of the whistle, I can make all the stadiums rock. I can make tonight forever, Or I can make it disappear by the dawn; and I can make you every promise that has ever been made. And I can make all your demons be gone._

"Do you hear that? Jim and Tim are really rocking out."

Kim agreed "Yeah who knew the tweebs were musically gifted?

"What are you talking about; you Possible's can do anything. Your mom's a brain surgeon, your dads a rocket scientist, you save the world. Why can't the tweebs be rock stars? At this point I'm surprised you guys can't fly!"

_But I'm never gonna make it without you, do you really want to see me crawl? And I'm never gonna make it like you do. Making love out of nothing at all._

"I guess when you put it that way" she turned to face him "Look, if we're going to get this friendship to work then -----"

He kissed her. It was a gentle kiss at first, but then it quickly into deep, passionate kiss.

"I'm sorry," he said when he pulled her way. But he got no reply from her.

"I'm going to kiss you again,"

"You shouldn't," she said.

"Are you going to stop me?"

"I should."

He kissed her again, then she kissed him back, then she unlocked the door and they stumbled inside, where they fumbled with each other's clothes and then they fumbled around a little more.

"KP… jeez when… was… it… always like this…" she rubbed against him in away that interfered with his ability to converse.

"Say it."

"Say what?

"You know."

"No I… whoa… Oh… Ah… ooooo… BOO YAH!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

About a half hour after their backseat adventure, Ron sat alone on a park bench across the street from the parking lot. He stared solemnly up at the night sky.

"_What the &#$$ did you do that for?" _EX boyfriend Ron screeched at him. _"Do you know what the #$&$ you've done? And you did it twice? You can't let us backslide into another relationship with her, it'll be a disaster" _

Ron turned to his left and saw Best Friend Forever Ron appear._ "Did you think at all about the friendship? How could you put poor Kimberly in that position?" _

"_Every time we think we're out she pulls us back in," _XBF shouted to heavens

"_No you guys don't get it." _Ron lifted his head up slightly to see Secretly Still in Love Ron come to them. _"Don't you see, she loves us that's what this means, it's all good. We should go get her some flowers, yeah flowers and cards, chocolates, she likes chocolates- _

"_Remember what happened the last time we listened to this jerk. Do you remember that pain? A little thing called unrequited love. Do you really want to go through that again?" _

"_Nope, it's different this time, I can feel it. She loves us, I knew it all along, I never lost faith." _SSLR twitched.

"_Guys we must hurry and apologize to Kimberly before things get out of hand. We must not lose her; we've been through to much for it to end on such a sordid note."_

XBF shook his head._ "She ran out of the car after it was done. She sprinted out of there like a villain fleeing a crime scene! Think about it! You know what's going to happen; she's going to say it was a mistake that "it" shouldn't have happened. That she wants to be with Ian. And guess who's going to be crying again_"

"_If Kimberly does not wish to pursue a relationship with us that is her choice. She is an strong independent woman, and we must support her decision. I'm afraid we may have already had our chance and we must not force guilt upon our one true friend. There is no need for her to suffer any more than she has." _

SSLR wrapped his hands around his head._ "Shut up, shut up, shut up! I love her, she loves me, we're a happy family!"_

"_We're better off without her," _said XBF.

"_I understand your anger, but we mustn't put all the blame on Kimberly. What happened has happened, and what we must do now is make sure that we do not lose almost two decades of friendship."_

"_Kim and us belong together, it was destined from the beginning," _laughed SSLR_. "K/R forever man and no one else even comes close." _

"_All the pain is his fault; he is ruining everything for everyone." _XBF brought his attention to Ron. _What are we going to do when she tells us it was wrong? What are we going to do if she stands in front of us and says to our face that it was all a mistake?"_

Secretly in love Ron became excited _"Don't you see we just made love?" _

"_No we didn't make love. No one makes love in the back of a Toyota Camry. They #$#$ in the back of a Toyota Camry and that's what she's doing, she's #$& us all over again." _

"_She won't do that man, not this time, this time it's for real. You'll see she'll say "Ron I know I was wrong, I realize now that I love you," and it'll be so freaking awesome. Like wow this is great!" _

"_Kimberly is a compassionate and intelligent woman, she will make a decision she believes is for the best. All we can do is trust her and be by her side," _BFF Ron replied

XBF Ron once again pointed at SSL Ron _"Don't you #$#$ open us to that kind of pain again." _He turned to Ron_ Shut this $ guy down, he is making things worse!" _

"_Wait man, wait." _Secretly Still in Love Ron pleaded_ "Come on, we always knew she'd be back, it was just a matter of time. We mean too much to each other for it not to happen, too much for us to give up so easily. Right now things might move slowly but it'll be better than it was before and this time, we won't lose her again." _

"_So what do you propose we do?" _asked BFF Ron.

Ron looked back up at the stars for a moment and exhaled

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kim walked into a supermarket that was about a block down from the reception hall. Once in the store she headed straight for the ladies room. She turned the faucet in the bathroom sink and splashed water on her face. What had just happened? How did she let it get that far? What was going to happen now?

"_Kimberly, how could you?"_ Kim turned quickly at the sound of the voice. Another Kim dressed as nun suddenly appeared. _"You've cheated on your boyfriend." _

"_Yes,"_ said another Kim in a fabulous and exquisite dress, _"a proper lady does not allow herself to be overwhelmed by her desires. What would your mother say?" _

"_Screw that,"_ shouted yet another Kim, this one in a tight miniskirt and leather outfit._ "Nothing like a little Ron shine to brighten up the day. God, my legs feel like jelly. "_

"_What you did was shameful,"_ said Lady Kim _"In the backseat of a car no less?" _

"_It was sinful,"_ said Nun Kim. _"You've cheated on your Ian! You've had an affair!"_

"_Please, she's not married to Ian,"_ replied Libido Kim. _"I thought it was great, it was kind of kinky"_

"_Waaaaaaaaaaaaa,"_ someone cried. A six year old Kim ran out of a bathroom stall and kicked Kim in the shin. _"I hate you, you're making Ronnie sad. Ronnie's my best friend. I don't want Ronnie to be sad." _

"_This would never have happened if she hadn't shown up!"_ Lady Kim pointed at a green hulking Kim in the corner.

Hulk Kim smashed her first against the wall. _"Me no like bad girls touching Ronnie, Ronnie belongs to Kim!"  
_

"_What an ignorant brute!"_ said Lady Kim

"_She's making Ronnie sad. My best friend is going to be sad. When my friend is sad I'm sad!"_ Best Friend Forever Kim wailed through a veil of teens.

"_Yes,"_ replied Nun Kim, _"what you have done to poor Ron is atrocious!"_

"_All right everyone,"_ yelled a new Kim this one in magnificent power suit, _"we all know why this happened." _

"_I think it's because Ian doesn't want to do anything until he gets married,"_ chuckled Libido Kim.

"_And we respect that,"_ remarked Nun Kim.

"_Yeah we do,"_ Libido Kim lit another cigarette, _"but we all know sometimes a girl has an itch that needs to be scratched."_

"_You are such a hussy,"_ said Lady Kim.

"_You know you liked it,"_ countered Libido Kim, forcing Lady Kim's face to turn beet red.

"_Ok everyone, settle down," _said Power suit Kim as she took charge_. "We still have some feelings for Ron, that's natural. And no one here is going to deny that what just happened was very, very enjoyable right? We all know Ron is an N type. But let's analyze this for a second. We've gone through this before; Ron wants something we can't give him. He deserves to be with someone who truly loves him." _

They all murmured in agreement.

"_What we need now,"_ continued Power suit Kim_, "is damage control. How can we fix this without hurting Ron? We need to the right thing here; we have to do what's best for Ron, because we don't want to lose him. If we keep cool, and think this through. We can work this out._

"_What are we scared of?"_ Someone called out.

"_Scared? Who's scared, no on here's scared."_ Power suit Kim looked around.

"_Yeah we're too scared to gamble everything because we can't be sure."_

"_Who said that?" _

"Excuse me miss, are you ok?"

Kim looked toward the door of the bathroom. "Are you ok?" repeated the female clerk. "You seemed a little dazed when you came in here"

"Yeah," Kim leaned over the sink and splashed water on her face again, "Yeah I'm fine" she took a deep breath. "I'm fine…..I think"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Go, go, go! Hit him again!" Ritchie, Phil, Felix and Monique screamed at the T.V.

The Champ is down; the challenger is going for the pin!

"One, two, three!" they shouted together.

Oh my God we have new GWA champion, We have a new GWA champion! The four of them let a collective whoop.

"That was the greatest match of all time, I could watch it all day." Phil said.

"You and me both, good call on taping the match," Monique told Felix.

Felix grabbed the remote. "It's really late but……what the hell…..Let's watch it again, it'll probably be better the fourth time." He was about to push the rewind button when his cell phone went off, and coincidently, so did Monique's. They opened their phones at the same time.

Felix: Yo dude, how's it going?

Monique: Hey girl?

Felix/Monique: You did what?"

Monique: How did this happen?

Felix: How was it?

Monique: You had an huge argument and then it just happened? I though t that only happens in the movies!

Felix: Better than before?

Felix/Monique: Twice?

Monique: He did what?

Felix: She let you do what?

Felix/Monique: So what does this mean?

Felix: So the balls in her court huh? Your really going to leave it all up to her...

Monique: What do you mean you aren't quite sure yet?

Felix/Monique: Sigh Alright just hurry back, we'll talk when you get here.

They closed their phones.

"Who was that?" Felix asked.

"My mother," Monique replied. "You?"

"Telemarketer… So let's get back to the match."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N That's it I don't care if you hate it. I'm not writing it over, I'm tired.

1) Friends don't expect a quick fix here. Yes this does complicate things

2) I have mixed feelings on the "internal conflict" scenes it'll either be a hit or miss with you guys but I'm gambling on a hit. I'm trying something relatively knew with this story and I can't be afraid to take some risks.

3) As I said before the next chapter Allison returns and we get some Ian development and the introduction of the story's first real "Villain" No not Drakken

4) If for some unknown reason you preferred the original chapter three to this one. PM me with your email and I'll send the chapter to you.

5) Feedback really helps people. I cannot stress this enough.

6) And I close with this…..Chapter Five will be better I swear!


	5. Open Your Heart

So welcome back folks. Been awhile, I ended semi-strong last time so now I'm forced once again to live up to my last performance. Sigh oh well here's another chapter to put a smile (or grimace) on your face. Flashbacks in **bold **

Let me point out two things

1) Once again I'm pushing the boundaries on the T rating.

2) For Geek Points: I've got a few pop culture references in here. Some very obvious others less than very obvious, so see if you can pick up on them.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**It was a late Sunday afternoon when Ron walked through the door of his favorite pizzeria. Besides Bueno Nacho, Sal's Diner was one of his favorite places to eat. Not just for the food but for the colorful cast of characters that worked there. The employees were straight out of his favorite gangster flick.**

"**Hey Sal how you doin?" Ron shouted to the extra large sized man behind the counter.**

"**Hey it's Spit-shine Ronnie, how you doin Ronnie?"**

**Ron shrugged "Don't worry about how I'm doin? I worry about how I'm doin, you worry about how you doin, and we'll work ourselves to the middle," he said in his best pseudo stereotypical Italian accent**

**Sal pounded on a large piece of dough. "Ron, when are you going to pay your tab huh?"**

"**What? I haven't seen you in a long time and right away you getting freaken fresh! Somebody needs to teach you some manners."**

**Sal invited Ron up to the counter. "Ah Fuggetaboutit…. This kid right here," Sal grinned at another customer, "I love this kid right here. He's my best customer here."**

"**Ah salud," Ron replied "So Sal what's good today?" **

"**Everything," Sal scanned the room for before leaning the counter. "Tony broke up with Angela" **

**Ron gasped. "Really?" **

**Tony was Sal's nephew and the pizzeria's busboy/waiter. All of the regulars knew about Tony and Angela, especially since Tony frequently professed his love of Angela to whoever would lend him an ear. More than once he had invited Ron and Kim to double date with him an Angela. **

"**Yeah, he's been moping around all day. I had to tell him to take a break because he kept crying into the calzones." **

"**That's rough" **

"**Ah, Tony's young, he'll be fine"**

"**From your lips to God's ears," Ron added. **

"**You said it. Why don't you take a seat, you want the usual right?" **

"**Yeah, the usual, except this time make it taste good" Ron walked over to his favorite booth and took his seat. He casually looked towards the back of the restaurant for any signs of Tony. **

"**Hi Ron" **

**Ron almost jumped out of his seat when Tony appeared before him. "Oh jeez!" Tony hovered over the booth like a grim specter. A horribly pale image, he looked like something out of a Japanese horror film. **

"**Tony… God… how's it going?" **

**Tony opened his mouth to say something, paused, and then finally, "Angela and I split up," he confessed.**

"**Oh yea um… I heard that it… tough luck…..How do you feel?"**

"**You ever get a shotgun blast to the face."**

"**Uh, no"**

"**When you take a shotgun blast to the face then you'll know how I'm feeling."**

**They say everyone has a few embarrassing moments in there life and Tony suddenly decided to have that moment right now in the pizzeria in front of Ron. **

**To Ron's horror, Tony cried. Big, fat buckets of tears rolled down his cheeks as he sobbed heavily. **

**Ron stared emptily at the peppershaker on the table. There was an awkward moment of silence that would scar both of them for the rest of their lives.**

**He should have run. He should have escaped when he had the chance. But with a show of compassion that he could only assume was an inborn trait he couldn't control he asked…**

"**What happened?" **

**Tony let his body drop onto the seat opposite of Ron's. "It was like, bam, it was over," Tony sulked. "I thought… I thought she was the one." Then he cried again. **

**Ron sniffed nervously and glanced over his shoulder. "There, there." **

"**I thought everything was fine, she never said anything, I was never aware anything was wrong. I mean, last month she seemed a little upset, but when I asked she said everything was fine." **

"**Well," Ron said, "if Angela is anything like Kim, when she said everything was fine you should have assumed everything is going wrong. With girls, you have to read between the lines. Like when Kim says 'We need to talk', it means I need to complain. "Does this make me look fat?' equals tell me I'm pretty. "Turn off the lights" translates to I think I'm getting fat and I don't want you to see. "Maybe" or "we'll see" just plain means no."**

**Tony looked up through his veil of tears. "Oh yeah what does "I need space mean"?" **

"**It means she needs space… without you in it." **

"**And then she said 'it's not me'… **

**Ron winced. "It's you." **

"**Aw God Angela, why?" he sniffed. "I love you so much."**

**Silence **

"**Ok… maybe it's not too late. Maybe you get her back… Yeah this is what you do….."**

**Tony blinked at Ron. "What?" **

"**Trust me on this, Kim's been mad at me allot and sometimes all it takes is the right line to get you back 'in" if you know what I mean. Here's a good one, feel free to use it---**

"**Wait a minute." Tony put his hand up "You're giving me relationship advice---**

**Ron was confused by the sudden change of atmosphere. "Well I'm trying to help." **

"**You! You've only been in one relationship! You're giving me advice; you're trying to be my Cyrano de Bergerac?" **

"**Cyra-no, that's a book character right?" **

**Tony abruptly reached over the table and grabbed Ron by the shirt collar.**

"**I know what you're doing. You're mocking me, aren't you? Let me tell you something man not all of us have an attractive childhood friend we can hook up with! We're not all lucky enough to meet our soul mates at the age of six! Some of us have to face the cold lonely world, constantly wondering why there are billions of people out there yet we're still alone. Try walking the dark streets at night wishing that someone was wondering where you were and what you were doing!"**

**Ron chuckled nervously at the enraged waiter. "Tony dude… you're stretching out my collar." **

"**You think you have it all huh? You've got it made in the shade right? Yeah, I've seen you walking around with your precious Kim Possible," Tony spewed. "Walking in the park together, holding hands, making cute glances at each other, like you're the only two people who have ever been in love in the history of mankind. You make me sick! You make everyone sick. Your love disgusts me and everyone around you!"**

"**Tony, are you prone to abrupt mood swings." **

"**But here's the problem! Here's what you didn't figure out, love doesn't last! Yeah, she says I love you now-----"**

"**Actually," Ron stated "Kim hasn't really said---**

**Tony began to shake Ron. "---But what about next year huh or maybe next month, is she still going to feel the same? I doubt it because love only exists in fairytales. We're all just animals, filthy primates who bank on delusions of monogamy to help create some illusion of happiness." **

"**I told Kim I love her and she hasn't said it back to me." Ron rapidly confessed. **

**Tony stopped and stared blankly at Ron; then his grip slowly eased off of his shirt. "Really?" **

"**I've been saying it for a couple months but she won't say it back… I push her to say it even when I try not to. And it's led to a couple of fights… For some reason, she just can't bring herself to say it. And ……… God, it just makes me….. I've never really been angry at Kim before but jeez it's like she's freaking using my heart as a piñata! Sometimes I feel like the relationship won't be real until she says it……….."**

**Tony wiped his eyes and attempted to clear the snot from his sinuses. Ron coughed and they exchanged glances before staring back at the table. **

**Tony lit up a cigarette and sighed. "What are you talking about? Of course she loves you."**

"**Huh?" **

**Tony grinned. "If anybody is truly in love, it's you two. Heck, if the two of you can't make it work, what are the chances anyone else can? "Always remember love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle"….Crystal Middlemas." **

**Ron stared at Tony curiously. "Are you _insane_?" **

"**I've come to realize love is strong yet delicate. It can be broken; too truly love is to understand this. To be in love is to respect this"…..Stephen Packer." **

"**You've just realized this………………………Just now?" **

**Ron felt his cell phone vibrant in his pocket. He pulled it out to find a new text message from Kim. **

"**That's her, isn't it?" **

"**Uh yeah, she wants me to come over to her place." **

**Tony nodded. "Go, fly to her."**

"………**Kay." **

"**Fly; fly on the wings of love my friend. Go be with the love of your life." **

"**Yeah, I'll do that. Tell Sal I'll have to pass on the usual." **

**Ron stood up and Tony quickly followed him with open arms. "Come here." **

"**Uh…?"**

"**Come here you magnificent bastard, don't leave me hanging here." **

**Ron slowly stepped forward but Tony pulled him into a tight embrace. Before Ron could react, Tony gave him two quick pecks on both cheeks, before cupping his face.**

"**This guy right here, I love this guy." **

**Clearly bewildered, Ron deftly backed away. "Yeah that's probably a good idea. Can't keep… Kim waiting… yeah…" **

"**Run, run to your love" Tony began to tear up as Ron headed to the exit. "Go and be happy" **

**What in the world just happened? Ron thought as he pushed through the exit. That had to go down as one of the weirdest moments in his life. And he had once been in a girl's body.**

**Ron sighed. He took another glance at his cell phone as he strolled down the block. Kim's text, seemingly innocent, was in fact quite the opposite.**

**_Hey, Monique is out and I don't really have to wake up early. I'm a little bored so I was wondering if you'd like to come over and watch a couple of movies. Maybe we can finally rent that Deathblow movie you always wanted to see. I've got the honey-flavored popcorn you like so much_**

**There were a few key points to the text that he had quickly gathered together  
**

**1) She went out of her way to say Monique was gone **

**2) The fact that she didn't have to be up early in the morning**

**3) Watching a couple of movies meant that she was willing to be up for most of the night**

**4) Kim had no interest of seeing Deathblow (number 3 on the list of the most death scenes in an action film). Not tonight, not ever. So it was an obvious ploy to get him over there**

**5) He loved Honey flavored popcorn. Honey Flavored popcorn + Deathblow meant that he would be there and he would be there fast. **

**So according to all these points the Kimlation of this text was: "I've been eating chocolate and listening to Savage Garden CDs and/or watching Dirty Dancing/Ghost, now I'm all hopped up on hormones and I'm going to explode."**

**It was the most innocuous booty call he had ever seen.**

**Normally, he would have been there ten minutes ago. But now the L word sitch was running through his mind. It was getting increasingly bothersome and Kim was playing it off like it was no big. **

**A thought occurred. Maybe he could hold out on her. Yes, a devious tactic that had been used against him and other men throughout the centuries. She was obviously desperate for some Ron-loving. If he played his cards right he could turn the tables on her.**

**_Yes, Ron Stoppable, relationship pioneer; breaking down the traditional roles in couplings. _**

**Ron looked back down at his cell phone and for a brief second he wondered if she was now wearing that teddy she wore on the night of their third anniversary.**

**He suddenly felt his body betraying him.**

"**Oh crap." **

_**Ron Stoppable, weak willed, red blooded, heterosexual male.**_

**Okay, so it was physical impossible for him to hold out. But maybe instead of holding out he could do the opposite.**

"**Hmmm…" Threads of some sort of a plan to get Kim to say the L word began to form in his mind as he continued down the block. **

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Wearing nothing but a sports jersey and underwear Kim plopped herself on her bed. She placed a bowl of peach slices on her nightstand before she started to flip through a magazine. A loud crash coming from her closet caused her to jump to her to feet. She turned to the closet door just in time to see it swing open.**

**She took a fighting pose. "Who's there?" **

**Ron peered through the closet door  
**

"**Who are you?" she asked.**

"**Greetings" Ron said as he stepped out of the closet in nothing but boxers. "Do not be alarmed. I'm how do you say, quite harmless" **

"**How did you get into my closet?" **

"**You wouldn't believe me if told you." **

"**Try me," Kim said never dropping her guard. **

"**I am a visitor from the future. I got here using a time machine and it transported me into your humble abode" **

"**The future?" she said skeptically.**

**Ron started to stroll around the room, observing various objects. "A thousand years to be exact."**

"**But time travel is impossible!" **

**Ron stared in fascination at her desktop computer. "Cable modem? How primitive," he gasped. "Non holographic keyboards, so the legends are true!" **

"**Uh… excuse me." **

"**Right," Ron cleared his throat, "maybe now time travel is impossible but not in the futu----"**

**He stopped and stared as if he was seeing her for the first time. "I can't believe it." He looked her up and down. He walked a small circle around her before closing in. **

**He stopped in front of her. "It's true." He poked her on the chest with his forefinger.**

"**Hey, what are you doing?" Kim exclaimed. **

"**You're female." **

"**I'd like to think that's obvious. What, have you never seen a woman before?" **

**Ron tittered excitedly. "No, three hundred years from now, the entire female population will be wiped out by a nano-virus. This is the first time I've seen one, outside of textbooks of course." **

"**No women? How are people born?" **

**Ron looked her over again. "All men are cloned from the best and the brightest. Their genes are manipulated for variety sake."**

"**Earth is populated entirely by clones?" **

"**Yep" Ron attempted to poke her again but she batted his hand away. **

**Kim looked down at the floor. "But what about, you know… intimacy?"**

**Ron looked at her quizzically. "You mean relations between the sexes. Ah, actually, all forms of "intimacy" as you say is quite obsolete. We are quite an advanced civilization and we find no need for such barbaric activity. In fact I find it a wholly unnecessary act. One wonders why the men of the past were so obsessed with "having relations" anyway." **

"**Really," she said, a mischievous smile came to her face. She inched closer to him. "Would you like to find out?" **

"**What?" **

"**Would you like to find out what the big deal is about "having relations? I can show you what you've been missing?" **

"**Well I… I guess for the sake of scientific research… It would be an excellent sociological study." **

**She kissed him slowly and deeply. They kissed passionately for a fully thirty seconds before she pulled away. **

"**Wow. I have to say that was more than an enjoyable experience. I am inclined to say I'm not adverse to another go at that."**

**She pushed him onto the bed. "Sit." **

**He sat up straight. "So what happens now?" **

**Kim brought her finger to her lips. "Shhhhhh." She turned the radio on her nightstand on and Carlos Santana's Europa filled the air. **

**She slowly sashayed toward him her hips swaying in a tight circle. Ron watched as she stopped just about an arms reach away from him. She whipped her head back and forth, letting her hair flow all around her as her hands slowly traveled along the curves of her body. **

"**I am… uh slowly gaining a new found… _gulp… _appreciation for the female anatomy," he said as his head swayed, matching the movement of her hips as she danced. **

**Then without warning, she took a seat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.**

**_Oh my god! She's wearing the strawberry scented body cream_**

"**You… smell… delicious," he said, feeling her breath on his face.**

"**Oh," she said, "are you saying you want to eat me?" she asked seductively.**

**Ron's eyes rolled to the back of his head, he was feeling lightheaded. It was taking all he had and more not to break character. Innuendo, when done correctly, was an exquisite art form and Kim was quite the craftsman.**

**She took a peach slice from her nightstand and placed it in her mouth in a way that at least half of it was sticking out past her lips. Then she dangled it over his face. Ron reached up like a fish to a lure and nibbled at the fruit and then he eventually bit down on it, kissing her in the process. **

**She leaned into him, pushed him onto his back and pinned him to the bed. **

"**You don't mind if I turn off the lights, so we can get down to some serious research." **

"**Mind," Ron replied, "I'd be upset if you didn't!" **

**With a swift motion of her hands she clicked off the lamp. **

"**Ow… Ron, you need to cut your toenails. You're like a Velociraptor."**

"**Hey, watch the knees," Ron said in the darkness. "Just let me adjust here."**

"**Whoa Ron, hold on, we're forgetting something." **

"**Mmmhhmm…" **

"**Uh Ron"**

"………………**"**

"**RON!" **

"**Huh! Sorry I was trying to stay focused. Did I do something wrong?" **

"**You're forgetting something very important." **

"**What, areyousureIdon'tthingkI'mforgettinganythingwhatcouldIpossiblybe…..oh, Oh….well you are on the---**

"**Ron."**

"**Because I left my pants out in the living room----"**

"**Ron."**

"**The floors are cold. It takes approximately 40 seconds for me to get out there. Kim time is of the essence here!" **

"**Trust me; I wouldn't have stopped you if it wasn't important. I don't want to push but I like being sure that there won't be any 'accidents'."**

**_Ok Ron, gotta be responsible, responsibility, responsibility, responsibility…….._ He repeated this in his mind like a mantra. "Alright fine, let me roll over here, right just… don't lose… stay in the… try and keep this atmosphere."**

**Crash**

"**What happened?" **

"**I could have sworn your bed was larger that it was," he groaned in the darkness. "Oh God, I wish I landed on my back." **

_**Oh no, I'm wasting time lying here in pain.**_

**A second later he burst through door of Kim's bedroom like a bat out of hell. He sprinted to the couch, grabbed his pants, and clawed at his pockets for his wallet.**

"**Sweet God please let me have at least one." **

**He opened his wallet as if he was archeologist opening a ten thousand year old sarcophagus. He felt an enormous amount of joy when two square packets fell out of it. Ron mouthed a quick thank you to the heavens before snagging one off the floor. **

**He was about to turn back when he paused, "Kim what time do you have to be up in the morning?" **

"**I don't have to be up in the morning" she called out from the room **

**Ron quickly snagged the other packet off the ground, then he skipped happily back towards the bedroom. He stopped right in front of the door to take a moment to stretch. He stretched out his back then his legs and followed that by rolling his neck back and forth.**

**Finally he took a deep breath. He cracked his knuckles as he jogged in place; the theme from Rocky ran through his mind. "Showtime!" **

**Feeling good and loose, he strutted through the door.**

**Thirty minutes later: **

**Kim stormed out of the bedroom in an angry huff. "I can't believe you!" she shouted**

**Ron soon followed her out. "What did I do?" **

"**You tried to trick me into saying I love you!" **

"**Is that what I was doing?" Ron said in obviously fake shock. "Because I could have sworn what I was doing would be consider pleasuring you." **

"**You tried to get me to say something huge when I wasn't in the right state of mind." **

"**You do this kind of stuff all the time!" **

"**When?" **

"**You remember that cold winter night a few months back when you "dropped" a hint about what you wanted for your birthday. I wasn't in the right 'state of mind' then. In fact, I was half asleep. I only heard bits and pieces and I spent the rest of the month wondering how the hell I was going to afford a Prada Jag!" **

"**It's not the same; this is bigger than a stupid bag!"**

"**Stupid bag, do you know how much that thing cost?"**

"**So we haven't officially said the L word yet----**

"**We haven't? It's the third most likely phrase to come out of my mouth when you're around!" **

**Kim threw her hands up in the air walked into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her. **

"**EXCUSE ME FOR TRYING TO FORMALIZE OUR LOVE!" Ron turned when he heard the front door squeak open. **

"**Uh, is everything alright?" **

"**Monique! What are you doing in here?"**

"**Uh, I live here." She looked at Ron standing in the middle of the living room naked except for his boxers. "Uh, I'm flattered you're happy to see me but, uh, Kim's my girl and I can't do that to her."**

"**What are you talking abou---"Ron looked down at his boxers. "Oh crap." He seized his pants from the couch and ran back to Kim's room. **

**Monique shook her head and made her way to the kitchen. She removed two cups from the cabinet and took a bottle of soda from the fridge. **

**Kim opened the bathroom door. "I mean, it's not like you don't know how I feel about you. Why are you trying to pressure me into this?" Then she slammed the door shut.**

**Ron opened the bedroom door. "Oh yeah, I guess I should be content that you're just 'really into me'." He slammed the door shut.**

**Monique poured some soda for herself and took a sip.**

**The bathroom door opened. "Things are fine the way they are right now and we have plenty of time to… grow… why are you trying to rush things?" she shouted out the door before slamming it shut. **

**The bedroom door opened. "I'm glad I'm not holding my breath waiting for you, I would have died yesterday!" The door was slammed shut.**

**Monique sighed.**

**A moment later, Ron, fully clothed, walked into the living room as he was zipping up his pants. **

**Monique poured soda into the second glass. "She's still in the bathroom."**

"**Kim, come out so we can talk!" **

**The door opened. "No, not when you're being so vexatious."**

**Ron looked at Monique for help. **

"**Vexatious, adjective; causing vexation; troublesome; annoying." Monique said.**

"**I'm not being vexatious! If I was being vexations then you'd really be pissed."**

**Monique handed him the cup of soda "So what happened? You might as well tell me now because I'll here about it later anyway." **

**Ron swallowed the drink in a single gulp and handed her back the cup. "I attempted to squeeze the L word out of Kim as she was entering what the feudal Japanese called the moment of Clouds and Rain."**

**She poured him another cup. "Of course, but----"**

**He sighed. "But I screwed up the timing. I swear if I had waited a few more seconds it would have been like she had taken a dose of sodium pentothal. I would have gotten her to say anything I wanted." **

**She handed him back the cup. "So I guess we can say you prematurely popped… the question." **

"**Ha, ha," Ron laughed sarcastically, "I've never prematurely done anything."**

**Monique smiled. "I've heard different." **

**Ron ran his hands through his hair and finished his soda. "Oh right, I forgot she tells you everything, doesn't she." He clucked disapprovingly. "Come on Kim you're being unreasonable. I thought you were the logical one in the group!"**

**The bathroom door swung open. "$$!" Then it slammed shut.**

**Monique tsked "that girl has a filthy tongue"**

**Ron winced and shut his eyes. "Oh man, Monique… oh." He sighed before walking towards the bathroom.**

**He leaned into the door. "Look KP, don't be mad. Let's put this behind us and forget it ever happened, what do you say? Or, now I'm just brainstorming here, we can stay mad at each other and have some angry sex… and if the mood is right, we can possibly follow that up with some makeup sex, and then in the morning we can laugh at how stupid and childish we were acting." **

**Silence **

**Ron leaned closer into the door as if somehow, someway, he could will himself through it. He placed his palm against the door; he could feel her on the other side. "Kim, if you can't do this for me, how far are we going to go?" he whispered softly through the door. "Come on KP talk to me…."**

**After a brief pause Ron continued. "Look Kim, forget what I said, I take it back okay. We're good, right?"**

**More Silence **

"**Fine" Frustrated and slightly irritated, Ron started to walk away. "Thanks for leaving me hanging… and I do mean that as a double entendre!" He turned back towards the door. "And guess what, I'm not the bad guy here, I'm in the right!" **

"**You're leaving?" Monique asked**

"**Yeah, you know, I thought the least I could do was give you guys enough time to talk bad about me behind my back." **

**Monique chuckled. "Well you know it is a girlfriend tradition." **

"**And who am I to break them. I'm going to go home and take a long, long, looooong cold shower." He shuffled to the front door. "Oh and by the way, just for the record, we had three different missions that day and we had to fly home from Russia." **

"**Thanks for clearing that up," Monique sighed, "as if I needed an explanation."**

"**All I'm saying is that I'm not a machine. It would have happened to any guy under the circumstances," he told her "...Alright, later I guess"**

**Monique stared as Ron, his shoulders slumped so low they were scraping the ground, walked out of the apartment. Then she returned to the fridge and removed a pint of Chunky Monkey ice cream from the freezer. She had just dipped a spoon into it when she noticed Kim standing at the bathroom doorway. **

**Her eyes were red from tears. "I'm screwing everything up aren't I? If things keep going on like this…"**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Present

Ron lay on the park bench staring up the night sky. He had the hoped the starlit sky would be a source of hope and wonder but it just made him feel small and insignificant.

Fine, once again it was time to sort things out. He had no doubt what he felt for Kim was a socially acceptable form of psychosis called love. The thing about love was that it only worked when the other person loved you back. If they don't, then love would only bring pain.

How hilarious was this, Kim could come over any minute now and depending on what she said he would either be incredibly happy or hopelessly depressed.

"?"

That was an incredible difference on the spectrum of emotions. It was ridiculous or hilarious depending on how you looked at life. Love was irrational, it was like being born. One day it just happened, you had no say in it.

He sighed. After thousands of years of human advancement, man still hadn't found a way to avoid the trap of unrequited love. Ten thousand years ago, a caveman walked out of his cave, looked up at the same sky Ron was looking at, and wondered

"I invented the wheel, I gave her fire, I can stand upright… why doesn't Goraks love me?"

And now he was feeling something else. It felt surprisingly a lot like guilt. He had indirectly (or directly) turned Kim into a cheater. No doubt she had to feel bad about cheating on Ian and that made him feel bad too. Kim's sadness directly affected his own. Well, he had known that for years but jeez this had to be an exception right? What did he do wrong?

Okay, fine, part of Kim may have wanted to get together but maybe another part of her didn't so_………Crap._ And looking at this objectively, Ian didn't do anything wrong either. He was a nice guy. If he was in Ian's shoes, how would he feel, he's be devastate--_……..oh crap._

AAAAAAARRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He was totally losing his Fozzie; what he needed now was some emotional control. He closed his eyes and recalled a lesson from a summer at Yamanouchi.

"**They say fear is the true opiate of combat."**

**Ron bowed before Master Sensei. "Yes please, I need to know how to control my fear." **

**Master Sensei smiled. "But Stoppable-san, you already control your fear very well, even without the help of spiritual training."**

**Ron lifted his head. "Are you serious? Have you seen me out there Sensei? My Indian name should be 'He who runs with chickens'." **

**Sensei shook his head. "If it would please you Stoppable-san, I can teach you a meditation technique to use whenever you feel overwhelmed by emotional distress."**

"Are you ok?"

Ron broke out of his meditation. Kim stood over him, staring down into his face. He looked past her into the night sky.

"Stars are just balls of hydrogen right? Nobody writes poems about balls of hydrogen, it just doesn't seem as romantic."

She brushed her hair away from her face. "You didn't answer my question."

"Well honestly, I may be bleeding internally. But other than that I'm still sort of basking in the afterglow of our recent transaction."

She smiled and they stared at each other for a moment. Ron giggled to himself as he stared up at her face from below. "I'm getting Déjà vu."

Her face turned bright red and she backed away. Ron laughed while he sat up then he invited her to sit down next to him.

"Look, I feel that I should apologize."

She was a little surprised. "Why should you apologize?"

"I don't know but I **feel **that I should apologize. Sometimes I forget how charming and drop dead gorgeous I can be."

They giggled.

"So?" he said.

"So?" she replied.

"So depending on what you're going to say now, what just happened could mean nothing or everything."

"First of all," she said, "I'm not going to say it was mistake."

Ron couldn't help but feel a little relieved. "Sure but what you say and what you think are two different things. I want to know how you really feel"

"Honestly?"

"No, tell me half a lie, yes honestly."

"I don't think it was mistake. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want it to be happen, but I feel like I'm caught in between two different worlds right now if that makes any sense…."

"It doesn't but who am I to judge."

"Ron the last thing I want do is hurt you…"

"Right"

"Obviously I'm still very attracted to you----"

"Yeah"

"But I can't say _that_ and not be lying to you…"

"So we're right back to square one huh?"

She looked down at the ground. "No… not really… I think I'm just going need some time to sort this all out."

"One would think that twelve years would be enough time," Ron quipped. He took a deep breath. "Okay, that's cool, I can accept that. But…" he took her right hand into his. "I don't want this to be 'unpleasant' like before, with the ultimatums or the veiled threats. If you want, we can keep things just the same; stay the course, whatever you decide I'll roll with it. But I need you to know this…"

He pointed to his eyes. "As of right now, this very minute, this very second, the only person these eyes can see is you… but that won't last forever. Whatever answer you come up with, just make sure it's the right one."

She nodded silently, turned away, and stared off into the distance. A moment later she rested her head on his shoulder.

"What if I regret what happened in the morning?"

"Then you, sleep till noon."

"Well at least it wasn't that long," she teased.

"Oh… that's a low blow… are you trying to make me cry?"

She sniggered "What time is it?"

Ron looked down at his right hand and realized it was bare. He had forgotten his watch in the car "Night" he answered "but that's, just an estimation."

She smiled at him gently, musingly "I don't know why but I can't help but feel a little worried."

"Ah don't worry, everything will be fine," Ron said dismissively.

"You know, there's a doctor out there saying the same thing to a patient with a terminal disease."

Ron reflected on her statement "Hmmm touché, things could possibly get worse….It's a good thing that I'm so over you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Where have you guys been?" Joss shouted when Kim and Ron walked back into the reception.

"I thought I was going to leave without saying good----" she stopped and took a good look at the two of them. "What happened to you two?"

Kim feigned ignorance. "What are you talking about?"

"Ron's hair is all mussed up, and cousin, your dress is all kinds of wrinkled."

Kim did a fairly reasonable imitation of a person who wasn't dying of complete and utter embarrassment. Ron kept his eyes on the ceiling. "I'm going to go over there," he said.

"No, hold on, before I leave I just won't you to know if you ever get over my cousin, feel free to come to Montana and give me a holler." She nudged him in the ribs. "I'll treat you right."

"I'm sure you would," Ron laughed nervously, "But I don't know if it's possible for me to survive another relationship with a Possible."

Kim glared at him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Ritchie sat on of the three easy chairs in a windowless, well lit, sparsely furnished, red-draped room. He blinked curiously and looked around._

_A little man, three and a half feet tall in a red suit, stood with his back to Ritchie as he shook violently. A beautiful young woman sat across from Ritchie in another easy chair _

_The Little Man stopped shaking and turned to Ritchie before clapping his hands once. _

"_Let's rock!" exclaimed the Little Man before he took a seat besides the beautiful woman. The Little Man closed his eyes and slowly rubbed his hands together._

"_Ok, this isn't bizarre," Ritchie remarked. _

_The Little Man held hands with the Woman. They looked at each other, and then they looked at Ritchie as they both smiled enigmatically. The Little Man rubbed his hands slowly again. The shadow of a bird passed above them._

"_So… uh what's going on here? And I mean what's going on literally and metaphorically because I have no idea what this all means" _

"_I've got good news!" the Little Man said, his speech oddly stilted. "You are close; you can find the diamond in the rough." _

"_Sure, that makes perfect sense"_

_The Little Man turned to the woman. "She's my cousin, but doesn't she look almost exactly like Laura Palmer?"_

"_Who the hell is Laura Palmer?" _

_The Woman smiled "I can see your destiny. You are cursed to a life of middle class."_

_Ritchie's eyes went wide with horror. "Good God no!"_

"_Yes, middle management, desk job, a boss who is stupider than you, an average looking wife, an SUV in the garage, Christmas decorations up before Thanksgiving."_

"_No, No, there's got to be a way, a way out, please tell me there's a way to escape this horror?" Ritchie cried. _

"_En---tou---rage" the Little Man said through his stilted speech._

"_Yes, there is away, through him you will find happiness, you must find him, the diamond, the diamond in the rough."_

"_Pink Sloth," the Little Man called out. Strange saxophone music filtered into the air. The Little Man hopped off the chair and began to dance a strange dance around the table_

"_Yes, seek him out," the Woman continued. "The Diamond in the rough, Diamond in the rough, diamond in the rough, the rough, the rough, the rough, the rough…_

_The Woman's voice began to fade and Ritchie felt himself starting to awaken. _

"_No wait, enough of this cryptic, encoded garbage, tell me who the diamond is! Please, for the love of God"_

_The Woman rose. She walked over to Ritchie and gently kisses him on the mouth. Then she softly whispered something in his ear._

Ritchie awoke a start and he checked his alarm clock; it was almost morning. "Diamond in the rough? …….."

He sat up and placed his hands under his chin. He would spend the rest of the night in contemplation

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Roger Jacobs rotated the ball in his right hand before grinding it into his glove. "We were in the State Championship. It was less than half an hour ago that Rodriguez had given us a one run lead with a three run blast, that still hasn't come down yet. Rodriguez gave us the lead and it was up to me to hold it. Bases loaded, three-two count, and it was just me and the batter, man to man."**

**Roger winded up and threw a hard pitch at his son. He cried out in pain once he released the ball. He pulled back and slowly massaged his sore and tender shoulder. **

"**Dad, are you ok?" **

**Roger looked up at his son and pushed the pain from his mind. "I'm ok son, this darn shoulder; I think I'm reaching my throwing limit." He pounded his fist into his glove "Come on son right down the middle." **

"**Dad you would have made it right? You would have made it to the pros if you didn't hurt your shoulder"**

**Roger stared at his son curiously for a moment. "Maybe, you never know." **

"**Doesn't it bother you; don't you wish you were still playing like Rodriguez?" **

**Roger shook his head. "Heh, I won't lie to you. Sometimes when I'm watching a good game, the blood does start boiling. But the past is the past; there are more important things to think about than baseball now. Like you and your mother for instance…… I've got no regrets. Now come on, show me some heat." **

**Roger watched proudly as his eleven year old son wound up and threw an explosive fast ball into his glove.**

"**Hot damn!" Roger shouted. "Hot stuff Ian, hot stuff, just like you old man." Roger tossed the ball back to his son. **

Ian almost jumped out of his skin when the stream of ice water of hit him the face. Buzzy Parker roared with laughter as he pumped his Super Soaker. "Guess that finally brought you back down to earth, huh newbie?"

Buzzy stood up on the back of a slow moving pickup truck. Three other senior members of the baseball team sat in the corners of the pickup.

"Having fun Buzz?" Asked Sam Matthers, the team's catcher.

"Oh yeah!" Buzzy watched as the fourteen junior members of the squad tried to keep up with the truck. They had been jogging for about fifteen minutes and some of them were starting to slack. That's when Buzzy's Super Soaker came into play.

"Come on ladies, if you can't keep up than you don't belong on this team!" He screamed at them. "Survival of the fittest girls, the weak do not belong on our squad." He aimed his water gun and let out another stream of ice water into a teammates face.

"Now, now Buzzy," said the shortstop nicknamed Opie as he flipped through a Gentleman's magazine, "your not supposed to be enjoying it this much."

"We all know Buzzy is a sadist," laughed the second baseman Jimmy Hughes, who stared into the screen on his cell phone. "Now I've just received an interesting text from the old man. It seems that David Boras is going to be at the party."

Sam's eyes opened wide and even Buzzy had to stop tormenting his teammates for a moment.

"The sports agent? The one who got Martinez the 200 million dollar contract? He's coming?"

"Him and a bunch of other important figures"

"You think we'll be able to talk to him?"

Jimmy smiled. "Why not, I mean it is a party isn't it? This will be a great opportunity for the future."

Buzzy seemed confused. "But I thought we couldn't talk to agents until we got into the pros?"

"Buzzy, there's a very good chance you might be stupid," Opie quipped. "It's a party, are you saying we can't talk to someone at a party? Besides, it wouldn't hurt to make a few connections. _As long as we keep it a secret_"

He gave Buzzy a wink and Buzzy finally seemed to understand, because he quickly returned his attention to the joggers. "Come on sissies keep, up the pace."

Opie titled the angle of the magazine and whistled. "Buzzy, don't push them too hard," he said with his eyes still on the mag. "We need some of those scrubs, especially the pretty boy. Remember what coach says, we need to ride his arm to the championship."

"Are you talking about Ian?" Jimmy asked. "You know who he's dating now right?"

Opie tilted his head parallel to the magazine. "Like I care"

"Kim Possible."

Opie's eyes finally jumped off the page. "Really?" he said with more than a hint of interest in his voice. "Yo Jackson, pull over," he shouted at the truck driver.

The truck came to a stop and so did some of the players.

"Hey, who said the rest of you could stop, keep moving you bunch of bums," Opie snarled at his teammates. "Jacobs, get over here."

Ian quietly slowed his pace until he stopped right next to the truck. "So I hear through some reliable sources that you're going out with that Possible chick"

Ian's body was drenched with sweat he doubled over and took a deep breath. "Yeah, I am."

"Seriously how did you manage to swing that?"

"What?"

"I don't need to tell you that she's a prime Grade A piece of tail. Hell, I know about a dozen guys, me included, who've taken shots at her---"

Ian was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the conversation.

"----But it was like she was married to uh……."

"Stoppable," Ian mumbled.

"Yeah, it was like they'd been married for years, she wouldn't give anyone the time of day… no one. How did you pull this off?"

Ian blinked. "We just started talking. It was just a normal talk. I didn't do anything special. "

"Ah come on, I didn't think anyone would get close to her besides Stoppable. The fact that you got her is impressive and it makes you five times cooler than the rest of these good for nothing clowns you're running with. Come on up here."

Ian hesitated. "What… are you serious?"

"Do I look like I'm not serious? Get in here before I change my mind."

Ian quickly stumbled into the back of the pickup and greeted the other senior members.

"That's a nice piece of arm candy you got yourself there you lucky prick," Sam said.

"Hey, Jimmy's old man is throwing a party in a few days, there's going to be important people there. You ever think about making it to the bigs?"

Ian snorted. "Of course, it's my dream."

Opie nodded. "You'll need to be at this party then. David Boras is going be there and a few guys who just happen to be going to the hall."

"Really! Jesus, thanks for the invite."

"It's a real formal thing, so bring a suit. And don't forget to bring Kim along with you."

"So how far have you gotten?" Opie asked.

"What?"

"With Kim, have far have you gotten?"

"Oh… um not that far really, we're, uh, taking things slow." Ian failed to let them know that he had wanted to reserve 'himself' for marriage, so taking it slow was the best possible course of action for him.

"Yeah, she looks like the type that would hold out on a guy."

"Everything else is great though so…"

"That's a shame, she does seem like an ice princess though," Opie said, ignoring Ian's comment. Then he slapped Ian on the shoulder. "I've got some tips that'll get her to warm up to ya. Stick with me kid, I'll get you to the Promised Land."

"Look guys the thing is…"

"Wait a minute" Buzzy started with a quizzical look on his face "are you sure Kim isn't still dating Ron. I see them hanging out all the time on campus."

"Right that's because they're still friends." Ian said simply

The seniors exchanged glances, and then they roared with laughter.

Opie slapped Ian on the shoulder again "I like you kid, you're stupid. Not dumb-stupid like Buzzy, naïve-stupid like my little brother."

"Hey!" Buzzy took offence but he was ignored

"A guy and girl can't be friends. It's impossible. Haven't you ever seen When Harry Met Sally?" Sam said

"Yeah they're probably getting it on right now" Jimmy laughed.

"No, Kim wouldn't do that…Besides I trust her."

His teammates roared with laughter again.

Sam chocked on his laughter "He says he trusts her"

"Oh God" Opie wiped the tears from his eyes "Look bro you're gonna have to learn to protect your property" He continued to chuckle "Yo Jackson, get this baby moving," The truck started up. "Buzzy, if you see anyone slacking up there, unload on them, hit them hard and often. I'm talking about right between the eyes and in the ears."

"Can do!" Buzzy whooped.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Doctor J and Doctor A, they're the doctors in the morning, get your prescription everyday on 97.5, the Morning Zoo."

Ron awoke to the sounds of the radio. He threw the covers off his body before leaping out of bed. He pushed the drapes to the side and popped the window open.

With a smile of contentment on his face he greeted the morning sky.

"Here's a classic for all of you boys and germs out there. We're going way, way back with this one, Open Your Heart by Madonna."

"Perfect way to start the morning," Ron crowed.

He began a dance with an imaginary partner. "I see you on the street and you walk on by, you make me wanna hang my head down and cry, If you gave me half a chance you'd see, my desire burning inside of me" He skipped happily to the bathroom where he broke into the running man and followed that up with a cabbage-patch in front of the bathroom mirror "But you choose to look the other way, I've had to work much harder than this. For something I want don't try to resist me!"

Downstairs in the kitchen, Felix curiously looked up at the ceiling. "Hey Phil"

Phil's fingers tapped on the keyboard of his laptop. "Hold on, I'm involved in a heated discussion of LOL vs. ROFL"

"Did you hear someone singing?"

"No." Phil turned to Ritchie who was scribbling furiously into a notebook. "Ritch, did you hear anything?"

Ritchie ignored him and continued to write. Phil glanced at Felix and shrugged.

Ron slid out of his room and into the hallway wearing only pajamas and socks. "Open your heart to me, baby, I hold the lock and you hold the key. Open your heart to me, darlin' I'll give you love if you, you turn the key" He danced to the stairs and slid down the railing. Once on the ground he did a split and instantly pulled himself back up "I think that you're afraid to look in my eyes, you look a little sad girl, I wonder why. I follow you around but you can't see!"

He grooved around the living room table "My desires burning inside of me but you choose to look the other way. I've had to work much harder than this. For something I want don't try to resist me!"

"Open your heart to me, baby---

_SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHH_

Ron froze up. He looked at his friends who stared at him silently from the kitchen table

Felix had looked on with vast amusement as Ron entered the kitchen, clapping and dancing. Now he wondered how Ron would save himself from such an embarrassing sitch

Ron swallowed the lump in his throat, it was quiet enough to hear a pin drop onto a cloud, and then he was sure he heard someone cough. It was an awkward Mexican standoff.

Then surprisingly to everyone in the room Ron shrugged and danced his way into the kitchen "Open your heart to me, baby, I hold the lock and you hold the key. Open your heart to me, darlin' I'll give you love if you, you turn the key."

Phil and Ritchie just stared in wonder as Ron took the milk out of the fridge and a bowl from the sink. "I think that you're afraid to look in my eyes, you look a little sad girl, I wonder why."

They continued watching the spectacle at a complete loss for words. "I follow you around but you can't see you're too wrapped up in yourself to notice. So you choose to look the other way."

He deftly picked a box of Ferret O's off the counter "So you choose to look the other way. Well, I've got something to say! Don't try to run I can keep up with you. Nothing can stop me from trying, you've got to!" He poured its contents into the bowl. Then he picked a spoon off the table and used it as microphone. "Open your heart with the key, one is such a lonely number!"

"Open your heart, I'll make you love me, it's not that hard, if you just turn the key." Spoon in one hand, bowl in the other. Ron took his one-man show out to the living room.

Ritchie spoke up first. "That was unsettling."

"I guess something good must have happened," Felix mused.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"I'm feeling good today boys so let's go out and celebrate."

With these few words and the added incentive of "I'll treat you guys to whatever", Ron had managed to drag his friends out of the house. He was still coasting on the high that was last night, technically, Kim hadn't said no, so that was reason enough to celebrate and hang with the guys.

"You know," Ritchie remarked, "when he said let's go out and celebrate, I for one personally thought that he meant something a little more adult orientated."

Felix, Ritchie and Phil watched as Ron pushed himself higher and higher on the playground swing. He let out a loud whoop of joy as his head came inches to touching the wood bar holding up the swings.

Felix's head followed Ron's pendulum swings. "Uh Ron, what are we celebrating?"

"Last night's success of course," Ron said breathlessly.

Ritchie's curiosity was now piqued. "Hmmm…So SPR worked perfectly?"

"Yeah, SPR did at first; I had girls crawling all over me."

Ritchie quickly removed a pen and pad from his pocket and began taking down notes.

"So did you close the deal with any of them?"

"Close the deal," Ron laughed, "I couldn't even get the deal on the table before Kim started jealin."

"Then who'd you end up with?"

"Kim," Ron said nonchalantly.

His friends gasped. "Are you serious?" Felix asked.

"Oh yeah, long story short, SPR was in full effect, Kim started jealin again, she walked out of the reception. I followed her out, we had a fight, then we kind of sort of 'made up… twice'."

Ritchie jotted down a few more notes.

"Really? Well I'm glad you guys are back together."

"Actually, we're not really back together. Kim is still in a fog about our relationship. Technically she still hasn't decided whether she's got real or platonic love for me."

Felix shot a glance at his friends. "So, even with what happened last night, she still doesn't know whether she loves you or not?"

"Nope," Ron said as he attempted to go higher.

"You do want more than a platonic relationship, right?"

"Of course"

Felix shot another glance at the others. "So what are the chances that she'll choose love-love."

"Hmmm, it looks like fifty-fifty right now," Ron answered.

"And you're happy about this? What the hell is there to celebrate?"

"Hey, fifty percent is better than zero percent."

Ritchie slowly crept up to Felix and whispered in his ear. "Talk some sense into him man, he's obviously delusional."

"Ron, I've got to tell you something… as a friend. You're insane! I don't think you've got a full grasp of reality buddy."

Ron used his feet to bring the swing to a complete stop. "You think I'm insane?"

"Dude, she's totally jerking you around."

"Ritchie's right, and fifty-fifty is nothing to celebrate about."

"We're just telling you the truth," Felix added. "I'm a little worried about you."

Ron smiled and sighed. "Sometimes the truth is very unnecessary. Dudes, as long as there's a chance that Kim can see me as more than just a friend, that's all I need. Fifty percent, one percent, I'll work with what I can. Even if I have to win her over for a second time, I know I can make it happen."

They said nothing.

"Besides, what do you want me to do, stay in my room all day staring at a photo slide show of me and Kim while listening to Sarah McLaughlin songs? Been there, done that! And I've learned that drowning in angst is not my idea of a good time."

"I guess we can admire your blind optimism," Ritchie said.

"Alright," Ron exclaimed as he stepped off the swing, "enough about me, who wants to play tag?"

"You can't be serious?" Ritchie asked.

"Yeah," Phil started, "besides, Felix is going to cheat. His chair has rocket boosters and it can fly"

Felix laughed aloud. "Fine, I'll be the base."

Ritchie backed away. "I can't believe this. I'm a grown man, there's no way you can expect me to play----NOT IT!"

"NOT IT!" Ron said quickly.

Suddenly Phil was the odd man out. "But… but… I didn't know." It was too late Ron and Ritchie were already sprinting across the playgrounds.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Half an hour later, the four twenty one year old college juniors entered the biggest mall in the downtown area after a rousing game of tag.

"I told you guys, Ron has played tag many times and he's never lost. Does that mean anything to you, huh? Ron ain't meant to lose! The only thing that can beat Ron at tag is Ron!"

"Why are you talking in the third person?" Felix inquired.

Ritchie looked sullen. "I would have won if some people hadn't cheated."

Phil grinned. "Nobody cheated, you just suck at tag."

"It's not fair I hurt my ankle, I called timeout!"

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did, you heard me, right Felix?"

"I didn't hear you call time out."

"Oh! I so called timeout."

"No you didn't," Phil said.

"Yes I did!"

"Nuh-huh."

"Yes-huh."

Phil stopped abruptly. "HGA!" (Hot girls Alert)

The four of them stopped in their tracks, Felix ran his hands through his hair, Ritchie sucked in his stomach and put out his chest, Phil pretended to check his cell phone while giving off a devil may care attitude, Ron smoothed out his shirt and fixed his collar.

Two attractive young girls crossed their paths and giggled flirtatiously as they passed by, even giving them a wink or two.

"Wow…" Ron stated. Felix concurred with a nod of approval.

Phil whistled softly. "The one on the left had beautiful eyes."

"Oh please, that's what you noticed about her, the eyes?"

"What's wrong with eyes? I like eyes"

"Oh yeah, because there is a lot you can do with the eyes."

As Ritchie and Phil started another argument, Felix took the moment to watch the shoppers scurry about. Suddenly, as if by some strange twist of fate, he caught sight of a familiar face.

"Holy crap, I can't believe it is that who I think it is?"

Ritchie and Phil stopped bickering and let their eyes follow in the direction that Felix was pointing out.

"Over there, look through the window of that shoe store, that's Allison!"

"You're right," Ritchie said, "where's Ron?" They turned to see Ron peering through a window of an electronics store.

"Are we still trying to get them together?" Felix asked.

"Why not? You saw Ron today, this situation with Kim has pushed him to the point of madness." A simple yet cunning plan suddenly formed in Ritchie's brain. "Guys, I've got a plan."

Ron pressed against the window and stared lustfully at the new PS4 gaming system in the window. "Did you miss me baby… what did you say? You want to come home with me… of course you do. I'm not like the others, I'll treat you right."

Completely seduced by the gaming machine, Ron failed to notice when Phil stood directly behind him, pressed his fingers against his lips, turned towards the shoe store, and whistled loudly.

The whistle caught Allison's attention immediately. She curiously looked out the window of the shoe store for a brief second before returning to her shopping

"Wait a minute…" she glanced out the window again. Her eyes landed on a young man across the way. "I think that's…"

"Soon, soon we'll be together," Ron cooed. "Yeah, I can imagine all the good times we'll have. We can be together forever---" Suddenly he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Yeah I know, I'll move along soon, just please give me one minute longer with her…"

"Her?"

_What?_ The mall cop was sounding oddly feminine today. Ron turned away from the game system.

"Should I give you two lovebirds some time alone?"

"Allison, that wasn't what I… wow, that's… uh… awkward." He was clearly flustered and this amused Allison greatly.

From the other side of the mall, behind a large pillar, Ritchie, Phil, and Felix spied on the encounter. Phil used his hands as binoculars. "I think he's blowing it."

Felix disagreed. "No, he's not, he's being charmingly befuddled, I've seen this before."

Ritchie secretly began taking more notes.

"So did you get those tickets to the comic-con next week?" Allison asked.

"Tickets, oh the tickets, you don't know how thankful we are for the tickets, me and the guys wouldn't miss this convention for anything in the world."

_The guys_

"Hey, where are the guys?" Ron scanned the immediate area for his friends.

"Were you with someone?"

"Yeah, I was with my friends but I guess they ditched me," Ron said dejectedly. "Anyway, thanks again for the tics, I'll definitely be one of the first guys there."

"No problem, they always give us more tickets than we can use."

"So…" he said emphatically, as if what he was about to follow up with something of importance, "what, are you doing here?"

"Just a little window shopping," she said. "I'm kind of continuing my tour of the city."

"That's cool…………." He stared down at his shoes.

_You are now entering the Awkward Silence Zone._

"Well," she said finally, "this is probably the time for you to say something that'll break the ice."

Ron thought about this for a moment "Fat Eskimo."

"What?"

"Something that'll break the ice… a fat Eskimo," he said with confidence.

She hid her face in her hands and did her best to suppress her laughter. "That has to be the worst joke ever."

"You're wrong… this is the worst joke over." He took a breath. "Two atoms run into each other. One atom says "I think I've lost an electron." The second atom says "are you sure?" The first atom says "I'm positive"."

"Okay, I stand corrected. That was the worst joke ever."

"I've got a million of them."

"Yet you chose that joke?"

"Hey, I was trying to impress you."

_STOP DO NOT PASS GO! Hold on… Did that sound a little flirtatious? Nah, the SPR stuff was definitely flirting, this was just friendly banter._

"-------- going to the grand opening of the museum."

"Huh?" Ron snapped back to reality and dropped in on the middle of the conversation. "There's a museum opening around here?"

"There have been ads about the opening in all of the local papers. How could you have missed it?"

_Reading the paper would get in the way of a lot of naps. _"I have no idea how I missed that."

"The opening is only two blocks from here. Would you like to check it out?"

_Hmmm, museums aren't really my thing… but the guys ditched me… and I've got nothing really to do for the rest of the day… and Allison's cool enough… she gave me those tickets… eh, what's the harm? _

"Go to a museum on a weekday? When we're already at a mall? That seems kind of un-American."

"Then let's be rebels."

Ron shrugged. "Why not?"

"What do we have here? Trying to go zero for three Ron?"

Ron recognized the voice immediately. He rolled his eyes towards where he figured the verbal barrage had been fired. He forced a fake polite smile at Bonnie.

Bonnie made eye contact with the three fairly attractive girls who were with her. They immediately broke out into laughter. Three bubbly stooges who tried to dress like their dark master and emulate her in every way.

Bonnie's hawk like eyes suddenly locked on to Allison. "Honey, do yourself a favor and run away right now. This loser has had only two real relationships in his life and he's been dumped from both."

"BonBon, I'm surprised you can even say relationship without bursting into flames, seeing how you go through guys like an SUV uses gasoline."

"Who is this?" Allison whispered to Ron.

"Oh, where are my manners. Allison I'd like you to meet my good friend Bonnie, or as I endearingly call her, Princess Succubus."

"Ron, Ron," Bonnie sighed, "what happened to the cheerful guy I knew in high school. Don't tell me the long bouts of loneliness have made you bitter? Allison was it? Be careful, Ron has a way of making girls out of his league lose their senses. Trust me, you don't want to hang out with that loser."

Allison stared coldly at Bonnie. "Thanks, but I don't remember asking for your advice. Besides, I'd rather hang out with a loser than a stuck up bitch."

The insult didn't seem to phase Bonnie a bit. "Yes, I may be a bitch but I'm still the pick of the litter. Come on girls, I've wasted enough of my time here." And with that, Bonnie and her group walked off like aristocrats moving amongst peasants

"Hmm, I'm impressed." Ron said. "You've just locked horns with a prize bull and you came out relatively unscathed. You should consider yourself lucky."

"Thank you, I've run across a few Bonnies in my life. So shall we continue on to the museum?"

"Sure, lead the way."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"That was close; I thought Bonnie was going to ruin everything."

"So did I"

"Should we follow them?" Phil asked.

"Nah, I think Ron can do fine from here," Felix answered. "What do you think Ritch?"

"Ritch?" Felix's head swiveled from side to side. "Hey, where did Ritchie go?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was a bit later in the day when Bonnie picked a sexy, backless dress off the racks of a designer clothing store. She pressed the dress against her body.

"You know what this dress says Amber? It says I'm a responsible citizen but I'm also sizzling with passion. It's perfect for making connections at any high society party."

"You are so right Bonnie," the petite blond named Amber said gleefully. "Nobody has a better eye for fashion then you do."

"Amber's right, nobody comes close," said the raven haired girl called Rebecca.

"Damn right." Bonnie admired herself in the mirror when she heard a phone ring. She sighed. "Tiffany."

The slim brunette named Tiffany quickly reached into Bonnie's purse and snagged her cell from it. She checked the caller I.D. "It's Dan."

Bonnie continued to admire herself. "Dan?"

"XK Jaguar Convertible."

"Oh, Dan" Bonnie stopped eyeing her reflection for a moment. "Nice car, bad breath, a girl has to have her standards… put him on hold for five minutes and then disconnect."

"You also have an IM from BoneRanger thirty seven."

Bonnie let out breath. "Who?"

"He's the senior from Columbia Law School. He's got the beach house in the Keys."

Bonnie scoffed. "Text "Mr. Just Touch It Once" that he is a freak and if he ever contacts me again then I will notify the police." She reached for the tag on the dress. "Hmmm, this might require a few more dates."

"I'll take care of that," a voice said from behind her. Bonnie turned to see Ritchie flash a Gold credit card.

Bonnie picked up on the card first and then she gradually began to notice the person that it was attached too. "Who are you?"

"Ritchie Alvito, at your service. You might not know this but we're students at the same school."

"Uh-huh, I know you. I've seen you with Ron. You're part of his loser rat pack. You've got some nerve coming up to me like this."

Amber, Tiffany, and Rebecca quickly formed a wall between Ritchie and Bonnie

"Whoa, whoa Ms Rockwaller, let's not be hasty. We may seem different but there are similarities between us."

"Like what," Bonnie sneered.

_Alright, I've got an opportunity, time to seize it._ "Well for one thing, fashion." He scanned the three girls standing between him and his success.

_Target Amber. _"Hey what you're wearing seems familiar. Oh yeah, that's what Lindsay Simpson wore in Objective Improbable 4. See-through T-shirt with a lacy tank top underneath, comfortable and sexy; but you know what it tells me. That says to me 'I have no idea who I am, except a sheep that can't dress herself unless I watch an overblown, poorly written, dull action movie with wooden and stilted dialogue', but I digress."

Amber was shocked, Bonnie suppressed a smile.

Ritchie set his sights on Rebecca "Now you look great, the way that shirt bunches up under your armpits; the way the buttons buckle; plus the way that skirt highlights your stomach roll. A little word of advice, there is a difference between fitted and tight. Tight is when your buttons are screaming for dear life as they try to keep your outfit together."

Rebecca's jaw dropped to the ground. "But I… I…" She tried her best to fight back tears as she turned to Bonnie. "I… I tried to go on a diet… I thought that cookie was sugar free… I didn't know…"

Bonnie shook her head dispraisingly.

Rebecca chocked back a sob when she saw this. "Nooooo…" She brushed past Ritchie and sprinted towards the exit, leaving behind a trail of tears.

"Poor, poor girl, a victim of the modern age," Ritchie said sadly.

"You made her cry… I'm impressed." With that, the remaining wall of Amber and Tiffany parted like the red sea, finally giving Ritchie a chance to get close to her.

_Mission accomplished, I'm in!_ "I'm going to cut to the chase. Let me ask you a few questions. Who do you hate more, Kim or Ron?"

It didn't take long for Bonnie to make up her mind. "Kim of course"

"Good, then we can do business. One more question. When Kim and Ron broke up a few months back, how did she react?"

"It seemed to hit her hard. She stopped coming to cheer practice for a week, and it took her over a month to get back into the full routine. It was a great month really."

"What would you say if I told you there was a way to crush Kim's spirit for an indefinite period time?"

"Please, I've tried. There is no way to crush Ms Perfect, she's like a freak of nature. Nothing I do can---"

"Get Ron to reject her."

"What, that's ridiculous. Besides, they're not even going out anymore."

"I know for a fact that there is a chance for them to get back together, a chance that Ron will attempt to exploit until he wins her back. The problem with their last relationship was that Kim didn't really open her heart to Ron. Now, imagine if she did so only to have Ron reject her… Kimberly Anne Possible may be able to do anything but this I know for sure she wouldn't able to handle."

"Okay, I get that, but that plan is impossible. Ron is like Pavlov's Dog, he starts drooling every time Kim gets near him. There's no way he'd reject her."

"Yes, we both know that Ron is prone to having 'doormatitis'. But I have a theory that if I can get Ron to a certain point, a slight deviation from his Ronness, his eyes will finally open and he'll realize that he doesn't need his Goddess Kim to smile down on him for his life to have meaning. He's better off without her and he'll finally get that."

"And how do you get Ron to that point?"

"With your help of course, Bonnie you and your sorority basically run this university. Plus, I'm sure you've got connections to all kinds of useful people."

Bonnie narrowed her eyes. "Why are you so interested in Ron anyway? Are you one of those kinds of guys who like other guys?"

Ritchie took the remark gracefully. "Ha, those kinds of guys wish I was one of those guys. Hell, to prove it we can make out right now if you want."

She smirked. "Hmmm, I think I'll pass."

Ritchie shrugged. "Your loss," he said nonchalantly. "Anyway, Ron is quite the enigma. A lot of things about him don't make sense. But I can tell you right now he's a shapeless, formless, piece of clay that is spread out in all directions. In the hands of the right artist that clay can become a masterpiece."

"Uh-huh, you want to be the Don King to his Tyson."

"Ooooh beautiful, cunning and smart, you're the complete package aren't you? Your analogy is close but unlike King, I'll make sure Ron stays on top. It'll be beneficial to both of us that way. But to do that, I need to be a big influence in his life and, well, something stands in the way."

"Although I think you're putting too much faith in a loser like Ron… if it means breaking Kim down… I'm in."

"Great, I knew we'd be on the same page about this."

Bonnie's cell phone rang out. Tiffany checked the ID again. "Bonnie it Jo--- uh Platinum Discover card."

"Oh Johnny… I'll take it." Tiffany placed the phone to Bonnie's cheek.

Bonnie listened for a moment. "Oh sorry, this tonight is no good for me. I'm meeting with someone." She acknowledged Ritchie with a nod. "With who? I don't think that's any of your business. Where am I? I'm not with you that's for sure." She gave Tiffany a wink and Tiffany immediately slammed the cell shut.

"You've got to keep them guessing or they'll think they own you," she told Ritchie. "So what's the plan?"

"Let's talk about it over lunch, my treat of course."

"I wouldn't have it any other way" she told him

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N Funny little side note I had planned out six more sections to this chapter. Obviously I had to cut it short unfortunately all the really funny stuff is in the next chapter. Sorry.

I've done three chapters in the row where I've included "limey" K/R interaction. I think I might cut down on that for awhile……I mean you're not reading the story just for their sexcapades are you?

Not much Kim here but in the next chapter we'll find out how's she's really dealing with things.

Read and Review Buddies…Feedback is very helpful


	6. Trouble ahead?

A/N Welcome back folks to this story that you're currently reading. Alright let's get down to it...This chapter was supposed to be a short chapter and it turned out to be quite the opposite...I guess what I'm saying I can't write short chapters no matter how hard I try.

References! The last chapter had a couple of references, only one person picked up the Twin Peaks reference, and that's about it...so I guess either no one's paying attention or you people have lived on Mars for most of your lives...or maybe I suck at injecting references into my story...anyway I've added some more pop culture references into this chapter so keep your eyes peeled...or not.

Like to plug a story from a good friend of mine Evolved checked out his story Wanderer. He's got some interesting things ahead for that story so jump on the bandwagon now...And let him know that real football is played with helmets not shorts

FYI Flashbacks in bold

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Time Square: New Years Eve

It was two minutes until midnight, when Ron steps out of a Manhattan apartment building onto the sidewalk after making a narrow escape from a good friend's party. He sighs; it wasn't that the party was bad it's just that he just couldn't enjoy himself with so many things running through his mind.

Suddenly he sees Kim rapidly crossing the street. She stops before him to catch her breath. "I've been doing a lot of thinking. And the thing is, I think I love you."

"What?"

**"**I probably love you… most likely…"

Ron blinks.** "**How do you expect me to respond to this?"

"How about you'll stay by my side forever and ever?"

"How about I'm leaving"

"Doesn't what I said mean anything to you?"

**"**I'm sorry Kim. I know its New Years Eve, I know you're feeling lonely, but you just can't show up here, tell me you're probably most likely in love with me, and expect that to make everything alright. It doesn't work this way."

"Well how does it work?" she pleads.

He shakes his head "I don't know but not this way" He attempts to step past her.

"Well how about this way. I sort of love that you get cold when it's seventy one degrees out. I kind of love that it takes you an hour and a half to order from a Bueno Nacho drive through. I feel some thing like love when you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I'm fond of spending the day with you and smelling your cologne on my clothes afterwards and I'm completely fine with you being the last person I talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Years Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you may want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, it's safe to say that it would be best if you want the rest of that life to start as soon as possible."

"You see, that is just like you Kim. You say things like that and you make it impossible for me to hate you. And I hate you Kim... I really hate you. I hate you."

They kiss, fireworks fill the air announcing the New Year, all seems fine when Ron suddenly pulls back. "Oh wait I can't, I found someone else," he said

"What?"

"I've already met someone else, someone who can give me what I'm looking for emotionally, and who truly understands my needs…….well, to be honest, the physical relations are unbelievable and that's really the foundation of our relationship."

Panic flashes on Kim's face. She shakes her head rapidly from left to right. "Who?"

"Shego"

Kim jerked in her sleep. Her legs thrashed about repeatedly from underneath the covers. Her arms flailing around, she moaned as her body came precariously close to the edge to the bed. It only took one extra jolt for her to go right over.

_What happened?_ She asked herself as she massaged her forehead after the bump off the floor. She tried to remember her dream but the only thing she could recall were vague snippets here and there.

She climbed to her feet, while rubbing her head, as she slowly shambled into the living room of her apartment, where she found Monique sitting on the armchair skimming through a magazine.

Monique looked up at her. "Whoa girl, what happened to you? Did you comb your hair with a tsunami?"

"Now is not the time to annoy me Monique." Kim made her way towards the kitchen. "If you haven't noticed, I'm having a life crisis," she said as she poured herself a glass of grape juice.

"Oh, I've noticed, because we've gone through this before."

"No, no, this is different because I'm already in a relationship… I have a boyfriend Monique" She drained the glass of juice and placed it on the coffee table "I'm supposed to know better… but I saw Ron with all those girls rubbing up on him… and then we argued… then he looked so cute under the moonlight… then we kissed and I felt so many emotions… a pinch of happiness… a dash of sadness but mostly… you know, desire."

"Let's try not to state the obvious."

Kim ignored Monique's crack. "It's my fault, I can only blame myself. I could have stopped at any time; he'd given me fair warning."

"Ah, the inevitable reprise, or the backslide as it's more commonly referred to."

Kim took a deep breath. "Ok, I'm in control here. If I just get my head together, I can keep things for getting out of hand." She sighed, pulled herself together and shuffled back to her room.

"I'll be here if you want to talk about anything."

Monique returned to her magazine, a moment later there was a loud banging against the wall in Kim's room. Abruptly Kim returned, still looking disheveled. Silently, she took a seat on the couch. She rubbed her hands together and then ran them across her face.

Monique cocked an eyebrow as she lifted her head from the magazine. "Problem?"

"Ron… he um…" she coughed. "He…mmmmmm," she said quickly

Monique put the magazine down and leaned in closer. "What was that?"

Kim ran her hands through her hair. "He did things."

"I'm sure he did."

"No, you don't get it… I can't believe this is even bothering me…….but it does… he did things that he didn't do when we were going out… do you understand?"

Monique's eyes widened with recognition. "Oh, you're saying the old dog learned some new tricks from his previous relationship."

Kim groaned and pulled a couch pillow over her face. "Yes!" she said with a muffled shout.

"Ok, he's picked up a few new habits for Elizabeth...his _ex _girlfriend… was it that awful?"

Kim lifted the pillow a few inches above her face. "That's the worst part, it was great."

"How's that the worst part?"

She placed the pillow back over her face releasing another muffled scream.

"Ok, so what I've gathered here is that thinking about Ron with other girls obviously tweaks you…. but you do realize that he was dating her right?"

"I know," Kim whimpered, "I know it shouldn't bother me but it does, it bothers me so much to the point where I seriously thought about stopping him in the middle of everything."

"But you didn't.

"I did my famous volcano imitation; I shook, shivered, and erupted."

"So you're letting a few misplaced push ups get under your skin……. is it safe to say that you still love the boy?"

Kim shook her head. "I wish it was that simple."

"Why isn't it?"

"If I was in love, truly in love, don't you think I'd know that?"

Monique opened her mouth to respond but Kim interrupted. "This Ron thing has me all conflicted. Add the guilt I'm feeling because of Ian and it's obvious that I'm quickly losing my grip on this whole sitch." Kim suddenly leaped from the couch and rushed back into the kitchen.

Monique lifted herself from her seat and followed the red head. She entered the kitchen just as Kim dipped a spoon into a carton of ice cream. "The sky is falling before my very eyes Monique."

"Whoa now Chicken Little; let's hold off on the frozen dinner." She snatched the ice cream from Kim. "You've got some time to figure things out…Didn't Ron say he'd give you a few days to make up your mind?"

Kim took the ice cream back. "Yes but… mmmmm oh my god this is delicious… since the junior prom, I've learned that you can't listen to what Ron says, you have to look in his eyes or watch his body mannerisms. Like the weeks before we broke up it, was like he was hurting just being around me yet he insisted everything was fine. If things continued the way it was, we'd have ended up hating each other… Oh are these almonds, these are almonds… Monique, you've got to help, I feel like I'm trapped in a bad soap opera."

Monique grabbed Kim by the shoulders. "Kimmie, let's be real here, you obviously have feelings for the boy."

"Yes I do, but not the kind he wants, the forever-ever-I do-type the feelings that usually end in divorce."

"What are you talking about?" Monique asked.

"But I can grow into it. I enjoy being with Ron so I can tell him the L word now and then eventually, chances are…"

As Kim continued to babble Monique went to the kitchen sink and picked up a damp sponge. She placed the sponge firmly in her hand and used it to lightly slap Kim across the right cheek.

Kim wiped the disgusting wetness from her cheek. "What was that for?"

"You know that's not fair to the boy, heading into this thing, withholding your true feelings with a "loving" act. The last thing he needs is to think he's with you when he's not. Who wants to be with someone who is afraid to say what's on her mind?"

Kim sighed. "You're absolutely right." She took a deep breath. "The ironic thing is that….."

She was interrupted by a knock on the door. She glanced at Monique "Are you expecting someone?"

Monique shook her head and they headed for the front door. "Oh boy it's Ian." Monique said when she spotted him through the peep hole.

"No, I can't," Kim squeaked

"Kim?" said Ian from behind the door. "Is that you?"

Monique shrugged and unlocked the door. "No Monique, I ca….ahhhhh hey Ian."

"How's it going E?"

"It's all good." He told Monique before greeting Kim with a kiss on the lips. "Hey babe."

"Heh, hey….." her voice trailed off, "you…."

Monique slapped her hands together. "So… I'll leave you two lovebirds alone."

Kim gave Monique her best please-don't-leave-me-alone-with-him look but it was to no avail. Monique quickly turned on her heels towards her room.

_Note to self……kill Monique. _"So Ian, what's new?"

"I've got great news."

Kim's right hand ran across her collar. "Heh, I've got some news of my own."

"Sandy Santana!" Ian exclaimed.

"Uh ok?"

"Two point three career ERA… Three hundred and forty wins…..The best curve ball ever seen by man or God."

Kim's eyes shifted back and forth. "Uh Sure"

Ian chuckled. "You don't know anything about baseball do you?"

Kim shrugged.

Ian smiled. "Sandy Santana is my idol. I used to watch him when I was a kid and he used to amaze me and my dad with his pitches. Bases loaded, game seven World Series and he's still throwing strikes. Believe me, nothing could rattle this guy." Ian paced back and forth with excitement.

"Sounds… he sounds like a great player," she told him.

He snorted. "The best… and I'm getting the chance to finally meet him."

"Great"

"And I want you to be there with me."

"What…"

He inhaled. "One of my teammates is having a party, that he graciously invited us too, and it just so happens that Sandy Santana, is going to be there," he exhaled, "and I want you to be by my side when I meet my idol."

She was speechless for a moment "I appreciate it. I really do, but I can't…"

He stepped up and brushed her hair from her face, tenderly grazing her right cheek. "Ah, I won't take no for an answer. I want you to be there, I'd like to show off my beautiful girlfriend."

Kim swallowed the lump of molten lead that she was currently carrying in her throat.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron stared at the oil painting of a young woman standing in a field of flowers, the wind blowing through her hair and dress.

"This painting is called Windflowers by John William Waterhouse." Allison told him.

"And you're saying this is Jewish art?"

"Its Judaic art," she corrected.

Ron studied the painting. "Judaic art, huh? I feel that I should know something about this, but since I obviously don't… I can safely conclude that I am a disgrace to my heritage."

Allison tilted her head and blew out a bubble gum bubble until it popped. "Wow, don't you think you're being a tad harsh on yourself?"

"Well I'm more Jew-_ish _really, my parents weren't that hardcore about the whole thing. All right, let's move on, I feel like Moses is boring a hole into the back of my skull."

They moved on to another wing of the museum. With all honesty, nothing in this place would normally hold Ron's for more than a second. But he found himself increasingly amused at Allison's reactions to these pieces of classical art. She was genuinely excited by these paintings, and it was actually a bit infectious. Although of course, he had no idea what he should've been excited about.

"Oh my god, I just love Monet," Allison exclaimed when an oil on canvas caught her eye.

"Sure," Ron said, "who doesn't love Monet."

"The thing about Monet is he had a painter's eye," Allison said excitedly

"Why wouldn't he? He is a painter."

"No he… he could interpret apparent reality and put them into the context of the thoughts of his magnificent painter's mind, thus creating a new vision for the world."

Ron nodded with faux fascination "yeah…I concur."

Allison smiled politely. "Thanks for the enthusiasm… but you have no idea what I'm talking about do you?"

"Of course I do," Ron stated as he turned towards another painting. "Now this is obviously a metaphorical look at the metaphysical human soul in which we, as humans, categorically give up our own humanity for the whims of society. Notice how the artist's masterful strokes manifest the blight of the human mind trying to coexist in a world he was not meant to control."

Allison bit her bottom lip. "Uh that's a still painting of fruit."

Ron nodded. "Hmmm, so what you're saying is that I may be reading a little too much into it."

She separated her thumb and her forefinger by an inch and showed it to him. "Just a bit"

"Ok I'm going to be honest here… I have no idea what I'm talking about."

"Really," said Allison clearly amused.

He shrugged. "I know I put up a good front, but I was raised to be honest."

She took him by the arm. "You don't need a PHD in Art history to enjoy art, as long as it makes you feel something. Here, look at this."

She dragged him towards another painting. "How does this make you feel?"

Ron took in the fullness of the painting. "Well, the first thing that comes to mind is the phrase Quid latine dictum altum."

"Wow, what does that mean?"

"I don't know, but anything in Latin sounds really profound."

"Come on, what do you see in this painting?"

Ron blew out a breath and looked over the picture of an old man staring into a large mirror. But instead of staring at his reflection, the old man stood face to face with the Grim Reaper. "I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this has something to do with death."

"Yes, as this man grows older he senses that death is near. It represents how we all feel. As the years go by, we begin to fear death more and more."

"He should just stop worrying about it and live his life. Go down to Miami, get him some granny groupies"

"As if it's that simple, everyone fears death, it's in our nature to obsess over it."

"I don't," he said matter-of-factly.

"You don't what?"

"Think about it."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Everyone thinks about."

Ron shook his head. "Not me."

"So you're saying you never think about death."

"Well, there's the occasional night before a final."

"Come on, seriously."

He sighed. "Okay, I'm not going to say never, because when you're hanging upside down, free falling into a volcano, with mutant giraffes wearing jet packs shooting laser beams at you… you can't help but think whoa 'I might die'… but then you push it out of your mind because thinking about it will freeze you up… and then people will get hurt, people you care about, people that need your help… and besides, it's simply just depressing, so I don't think about it… in fact, in my mind, I'm immortal like the Highlander."

"Like the Highlander," Allison repeated.

"Yep," Ron said. "There can be only one……." He looked towards the next painting. "So shall we keep on keeping on?"

"Mi amigo, you seem to have many interesting layers about you."

"Don't read too much into that rant, I'm not really that deep."

She looked into his face walking backwards ahead of him. "You sell yourself short Mr. Stoppable, you're an intriguing character." She turned with a smile. "Besides, whether you're deep or not is something I intend to find out for myself."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After an hour of strolling through the museum, Ron and Allison exited and bought themselves hot dogs from a nearby street vendor. They ate on a wooden bench near an oak tree that a flock of pigeons had gathered around.

"You can't trust a pigeon," Ron began. "They've got a no loyalty to their own species. I once saw a pigeon eating a chicken nugget, and it blew my mind."

"Yes, pigeons are the Benedict Arnolds of the Columbiformes bird order."

Ron wiped a bit of mustard from his lips with a napkin and laughed. "I think it's funny that you throw around words like Columboformis and expect me to know what that means. You obviously still have no idea who you're dealing with."

"Well I'd like to find out."

_Huh? _Ron took another bite of his hot dog.

"Truthfully I'm not really that smart; I only know that word because I used it in one of my stories. You can surprisingly learn a lot of new words while you're writing for a comic."

"Mmmff," Ron said with a mouthful of food.

"Uh-huh sure, how about swallowing your food there partner."

He swallowed. "Sorry, I don't know much about classical art but in my opinion your work should be behind glass."

She blushed. "Ah, you don't mean that."

"Yes I do. I'd gladly donate the minimum amount required to any museum that has stuff like yours hanging up."

Her face turned completely crimson. "Thanks a lot."

"No big."

"Well just for that Mr. Flattery, I'll have an extra special surprise for you at the convention."

"What it is?"

She grinned. "Can't tell you……it's a surprise."

"Tell me."

"I'll just say this, that it is a very cool surprise."

"Oh ok, should I go to vague-enough-for you- .com for more information?"

"You'll just have to wait and see," she laughed.

They sat there in silence as they polished off the rest of their lunch. "Looks like rain," she said.

"Yeah"

"I'm not much of a rain person."

"Actually, I like the rain. Well, not really the rain itself, but after the rain, during a summer day. When the heat is rising off the sidewalks and the neighborhood has this weird hazy buzz to it. You know what I'm saying?"

"Not really, I'm a city gal. We city folk don't really notice that kind of stuff."

"If it makes you feel any better, most suburban people don't notice that either… I'm just kind of weird like that."

After a minute or so of more silence Allison cleared her throat. "You were talking about the saving the world stuff earlier."

Ron leaned back into the bench. "Yeah, we don't do that as much as we used too… most of the major villains are behind bars."

"You didn't get paid for that, right?"

"Nope, we did all our saving pro-bono."

"Were there any perks in it?"

"Perks? Perks…….well, Kim got most of the press play… and we got some thank you gifts here and there… but they were mostly free rides to other missions though… so I guess there really weren't too many perks."

"So why do you do it?"

Ron thought about it for a moment and just as he was about to answer, his cell phone started ringing. "Excuse me," he said before pulling his phone from his pocket and flipping it open. "What, really, are you sure? Yeah, don't worry, I'll be there." He snapped the phone closed. "Whoa, this is an irony of all ironies. I just got a mission call."

"You better go."

"Yeah, sorry about this." Ron started off.

"Hey, do you have, like, an email address?"

_Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh... _Ron thought as he ran in place. "Yeah, ok sure….uh, do you have a pen?"

She quickly pulled one out along with a piece of paper from her purse, and Ron swiftly jotted down his information. "FFbeyond2000," she read aloud, "should I take a guess as to how long you've had this?"

"If you get it on the first shot, you'll win a cookie… look I…"

"Go ahead, its cool." Ron was off the second she finished talking, leaving Allison alone smiling down at a small piece of paper.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"There are a few more problems," Bonnie said warily to Ritchie from across a table at the Forevermore Bar and Grill "mainly the fact that they've been friends for like a long time, and I mean a long time"

"Uh-huh," Ritchie said, as he stared intently into a mini DVD player. Bonnie had been kind enough to burn him a copy of the Middleton junior prom.

"Look right there." He paused the player a second before Kim and Ron's famous kiss. "You were right, Ron's off in la la land. But look at Kim's face, that's obviously confusion and hesitation."

"Confusion or horror, it could go either way in my book. Hey were you listening to me?"

"This is a fantastic find, but we can't show it to Ron yet."

She put her hands to her cheek with the tips of her fingers holding her eyes shut. "Why not?"

"We've got to treat this thing like an addiction; we've got to slowly wean him off Kim. Make him grow to realize she wasn't good for him since the beginning."

"Oh my god, this is so aggravating" She sighed.

"Hey look, I said you can have Kim. Ron we handle with care okay? Trust me, with Ron you have to take things slow."

"How about we plant some panties in his room, Kim finds them, wham bam it's over."

"I daresay…" Ritchie said.

"Please dare to say" she told him.

"You're quite abundantly verbal Ms. Rockwaller."

As Bonnie prepared to fire a well placed barb, something more interesting caught her attention. "Hey, check it out." She motioned her head in the direction of the booth beside them, where a couple seemed to be having an obvious fight, even with their hushed tones.

"Looks like they're breaking up, he probably cheated on her."

"Or maybe," Ritchie popped a French Fry into his mouth, "he got tired of her incessant mind games and he finally decided to take his pair back from out of her purse. Only a girl can make you question your own sanity..."you were rude to me," he said in a falsetto voice "Even if you were one hundred percent positive that you weren't rude…she'll have you up all night thinking "maybe I was rude to her" Plus she looks like the type to nag a man to death because he doesn't have as nice a car as the guy across the street."

"Maybe he'd have that car if he stopped wasting time watching cartoons with big eyed characters all day."

Ritchie smiled. "Well, the thing about a cartoon is they don't criticize you. They don't try to take over your life, or crowd your space, and you can turn them off when they get annoying… but let's back up a bit, back to your assumption that the guy is cheating. Hey, it's extremely easy for a woman to cheat. All she has to say is I'm going to be with that guy over there and he'll probably do it... she could be the ugliest chick in history; she'll get some at a freaking Wal-Mart any day of the week. A guy can be a billionaire and it's still fifty-fifty."

Bonnie leaned over the table with a smile. "I'm sensing hostility here, did some mean girl bweak your wittle hweart?"

"No, I never got cheated on."

"As far as you know," she quipped, "but that still doesn't answer my question."

Ritchie looked her straight in the eyes. "For that to have happened, I'd have to have been in love before."

She smiled mischievously. "So you've never been in love?"

"Never," Ritchie mouthed to her silently.

"K," Bonnie replied and returned to her meal, "at least we have something in common." Suddenly, the couple got up in a huff. They stormed out of the restaurant, bickering furiously.

Ritchie watched curiously as they left. "Here's something else we can agree on. We don't know why they broke up, but that guy would need a time machine for those pants to make any sense."

Bonnie tried the best to hold in her laughter. "You know, if you cleaned yourself up a little, you wouldn't be that bad of a catch."

Ritchie was just about to shovel a spoonful of food into his mouth when he stopped mid-motion. "Uh wha… what?"

"So who's going to grab the check?" Bonnie asked nonchalantly.

Ritchie spoke up quickly. "I… I… I'll get it……..." his jaw dropped when he realized the trap he had fallen into.

"Oh it's nice to see that some people still believe in being a gentleman," she said before casually taking a sip from her drink.

Ritchie placed his hand under his jaw and pushed it back into place. "Okay, you win this round. I see that I'm going to have to watch my back around you."

"Hey, if it keeps you from watching my back_-side _then it's a good change of pace. For now, let's get back to this Kim and Ron thing."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Kim stepped into her bedroom to find it surprisingly empty, which was strange considering that she was sure Ron had come in here. She did a quick scan of the room when she heard the door click softly behind her. **

**"Welcome back KP." Ron smiled at her innocently. Then he casually sauntered over to her night stand, as if he had no reason to explain why he was wearing her pink bathrobe.**

**Her eyebrow arched suspiciously. "Why are you wearing my robe……what are you up to?"**

**Ron pointed to himself. "Me?" he said with feigned confusion. "Why, I'm bringing sexy back." He used his forefinger to push play on the radio on her nightstand. **

**He loosened the belt of the robe. "I'm bringing sexy back' them other boys don't know how to act." The robe opened, leaving Ron in only his boxers. He started to slowly encircle her. "I think you're special what's behind your back, so turn around and I'll pick up the slack."**

**She grinned when she caught his eye as he slowly slinked closer, closing the gap between them. He put out his as if he were in handcuffs. "Dirty babe, you see these shackles. Baby I'm your slave, I'll let you whip me if I misbehave, It's just that no one makes me feel this way. Come on KP take me to the chorus."  
She grabbed him by the waistband and slowly pulled him closer. "Come here boy," she sang.  
**

** "Go ahead, be gone with it," Ron sang back.  
**

** "Let me see what you're working with." She sang when there wasn't any more than a centimeter between them.  
**

**"Go ahead, be gone with it."  
**

** They started grooving into some hybrid grinding-slash-dancing full body rubdown. "Look at those hips."  
**

** "Go ahead, be gone with it."**

**"You make me smile." Kim leaned backwards. **

**"Go ahead be gone with it," Ron leaned forward. **

**"Go ahead child," then she pushed forward. **

**"Go ahead, be gone with it," as he leaned backwards. **

**"And get your sexy on," she sang softly into left ear.  
"Go ahead, be gone with it." **

**"Get your sexy on."**

**"Go ahead, be gone with it." **

**"Get your sexy ooooooon."**

**"Go ahead, be gone with it." He wrapped her hands around his hips and twirled her towards the bed and dropped her onto it.**

**She sat up. "Why Mr. Stoppable, are you trying to seduce me?"**

**"Because that's so difficult?" He made an attempt to slide up over her.**

**But she used her arms to block off his access. "Sorry buddy, Monique is going to be home any minute now."**

**"And this means what to me again?"**

**'That means you'll have to wait."**

**"Ah," he took a seat next to her on the bed. "That doesn't sound as appealing as what I had in mind." **

**"Yeah, I'm sure," she said as she kicked off her shoes and scooted closer to him. "We can do other things in the meantime."**

**"Cool," he leaned back onto the pillows, "so how was your day?"**

**"Well," she started.**

**"And she's off," Ron exclaimed, imitating the announcer at a horse track **

**"Shut up," she kicked at him playfully. "Do you want to listen or not? Okay, so I was buying our gifts for the Christmas party and…"**

**"Oh my god, I remember this one time somebody gave me tickets to a play last Christmas and the show was so boring. I sat there in the audience suffering for hours on end."**

**"Hey, I was the one that you got you those tickets."**

**"Really? Kim, didn't we decide that I would buy the gifts?"**

**She looked at him incredulously. "Wait a minute, are you trying to say I don't know how to buy gifts?" **

**"I'm saying you don't know how buy _good_ gifts."**

**"I buy great gifts!"**

**"Yeah, like the key chains with my name on it, because I want people to know my name. Hey, my name is Ron and these are Ron's keys."**

**"Oh of course, because your gifts are always a huge hit, Mr. Bueno Nacho coupons."**

** "I know people who would kill for those coupons."**

**"As I was saying," Kim said changing the subject, "I was shopping and I ran into Glenn Rogers----"**

**_Good ole Glenn……_Ron thought as he faded in and out of Kim's conversation. Glenn Rogers was an upperclassman who had given them a tour of the college their freshman year. Glenn had hit it off with Kim immediately due to their love of all things regarding school spirit. Ron had become a good friend by association. **

**"-----So he started helping me shop for---"**

**_Fantastic…_Glenn would've pointed Kim in the correct path of gift giving. Last Christmas Glenn had given him a top five gift of all time. A box set of Quentin Tarintino movies… That Glenn was a saint… every time Samuel L Jackson said something cool, Ron would think of Glenn… god bless him.**

**"Do you think he's gay?"**

**"Who?" Ron said still in a fog of his own thoughts. "Samuel L Jackson?"**

**"What? No… I meant Glenn."**

**"What, of course not---"As Ron thought about it, he quickly realized he knew almost nothing about Glen's personal life. In the three years that he had known the man, he had never seen Glenn with a girl or actively searching for them, like the other guys Ron knew "---I don't know, do you think he might be?"**

**She shrugged. "Well for one thing, he's really handsome and he's got very good taste in clothes."**

**Ron rolled his eyes. "Thank you very much." **

**She patted him on the shoulder. "Come on, you know what I mean."**

**"How would you like it if I compared your big feet, to others girls feet." **

**"I do not have big feet."**

**"Yeah you're right, you don't have big feet, impossibly huge feet is more appropriate."**

**"One more word about the feet---"**

**"Anyway, about Glenn, it doesn't matter to me one way or the other… but it'll be a little awkweird the next time I see him."**

**"And why would it be awkweird?"**

**Ron shifted and placed his head onto Kim's lap. "Do I really have to spell it out to you?"**

**"I thought you were more open minded than that?"**

"**Look it's not what you think, it's not some fire and brimstone thing….the guy can live however he wants its his business…..I'm just saying at first it'll be a little weird"**

"**Why?"**

"**Why? Because he's a dude that likes other dudes that why…and I happen to be a dude…..Not that there's anything wrong with liking other dudes…..and wait a minute I'm not even sure he is…..you know."**

**A smile came to Kim's face "You know, did you know that, according to a major poll, the majority of males have at one time or another homosexual fantasies?"**

**"Yeah right," Ron scoffed.**

**"It's true."**

**"Whatever you say Kim" **

**She looked down at his face. "Well?" **

**"Well what?" **

**"Have you---"**

**"No I haven't," Ron interjected, "never have, and I never will." **

**"Is that right?"**

**"Yep… Let's..." he stopped when he looked up Kim and saw her bottom lip protruding out slightly.**

**"No please."**

**She tilted her head towards him and her lip trembled slightly. **

**"I beg of you."**

**"Please, Ron... you can tell me." It was a fully powered PDP that he had no power to fight.**

**"Okay..." he sighed. "This one time… it happened only once… after I ate a two month old naco I was saving in my closet…….."**

_**Dream start**_

**Ron stands half naked at the bar of a club, all around him are huge muscular men wearing mostly leather chaps. There isn't a female in sight. A disco ball is lowered from the ceiling neon lights, and soft eighties pop filled the air.**

**"All I know is that to me. You look like you're havin' fun. Open up your lovin' arms Watch out, here I come."**

**"What's your name?" asks a faceless figure in tight pink jeans. **

**"They call me kindling baby, cuz I'm always on fire…" Ron pauses "Oh God I just love this song… You spin me right round, baby, right round like a record, baby, right round round round. You spin me right round, baby, right round like a record, baby, right round round round."**

**Ron snatches a Cosmopolitan off the bar and pours it down his chest. "Hey guys, drinks are on me!"**

**A whoop goes up in the crowd.**

_**Nightmare ends**_

**Kim tried desperately to stifle her laughter as Ron tried to hide the embarrassment on his face. **

**"Well… first… of… all… is… that… how… you… think… gay… men… act…"**

**"Hey, that's what television has taught me and cable has never let me down be…are you ok?"**

**"I……..just…." unfortunately by then the dam had burst. "Omigodthatwassohilarious!"**

**"Alright you see, I don't know why I tell you anything," Ron grabbed Kim by the waist and pulled her down, as she laughed out loud, "in the theme of the holiday season, I believe it's time for my kiss under the mistletoe… and by mistletoe I mean belly button." He reached under her shirt.**

**"Wait, wait," she cried through her laughter.**

**"Oh no, you asked for it."**

**Ron started to blow raspberries into her belly. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry!"**

**"If you think I'm stopping here than you're crazy."**

"**Wait we need…."**

"**I hid one in the bottom drawer of your nightstand for emergency purposes…Kim my manhood has been questioned and it's your fault… I now have seeds of doubts that must be terminated immediately."**

**Around a half hour or so later, Kim gasped and buried her face into his shoulder as he held on to her shuddering and breathless. "Monique's late," she said breathlessly to him.**

**"Thank god," Ron said aloud. After a very long time, Ron started to pull away from her.**

**"Hey," she said pulling him back towards her. "I want to talk about something."**

**He crossed his arms under his head. "Shoot."**

**"Things have been okay recently, but I think we still have some stuff hanging between us."**

**"What are you talking about?" Ron said disappointment and annoyance breaking through his fog of satisfaction. "We talked about this already, everything is fine."**

**"You've been moping around a lot recently---"**

**"I haven't been feeling well."**

**"We pick fights all the time."**

**He waved his hand dismissively. "No we don't." **

**"We're fighting right now."**

**"But this is not my fault, none of this my fault. You know what to do to make things better." He said flatly. **

**"Ron, you know I'm crazy about you. Then why?" **

**"Say the L word and I'll know for real."**

**"What happened to 'you don't have to say I love you', huh?" **

**Ron rolled out of bed. "Fine, I change my mind. You have to say it, the sooner the better"**

**"People throw around those words far too much without considering their implications."**

**"Implications?" He repeated then he shook his head. "We should probably get dressed; Monique might show up any second now." He pulled his sneakers from under her bed and slid them on his feet. "You know a lot of girl's would love to have a boyfriend like me."**

**Kim let the words hang in the air for a moment. "What is that supposed to mean?"**

**Ron ignored her as he smoothed out the wrinkles in his clothes. He made sure to keep from looking her in the face.**

**"I'm starting to think we're on the same path but we're headed towards different destinations." **

**Ron froze, _What?_ he stood there motionless for a moment before opening his mouth to say something but he couldn't force anything out. He licked his lips and chuckled. "I'm going to go before I hear or say something I don't want to," he said softly. "Alright so I'll….I'll catch you later."**

**He ran his hands through his hair and walked quietly out the door.**

**Kim pulled her knees up to here chest. Okay, she had been stupid. Maybe their recent activity had clouded her judgment. How could she say something like that to him? How could he say something like that to her?**

**She took a deep breath and opened up a drawer on her nightstand and pulled out of it a small book. She opened the book to an earmarked page that had been read countless times. She immediately went to a specific passage in the book.**

_**If you're wondering if you're in love, this is often because you might base a decision on your answer. Be careful! Decisions should not be based just on the feeling of 'love'. You should also look at respect, commitment and trust. Ask yourself what it means to you if you believe you're in love. Don't put pressure on yourself to define what you're feeling as love. And don't let anyone else pressure you either. Give it some time and ask yourself these questions a few months or a year down the road. One of the hardest situations to deal with is when one partner is obviously more committed to the relationship than the other. It may be because one loves the other more, or it could be that one of you is just not ready to make a commitment yet. Such situations often cause resentment to build up, probably on both sides. If this is happening to you, consider cooling it for a while until---**_

**Kim snapped the book shut and closed her eyes; she inhaled, exhaled and dropped the book into the drawer before slamming it shut. **

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Miss Possible, Sallie Welter Channel 3 Evening News. Did the situation ever fall out of your control?" Camera crews from four TV stations ran around frantically trying to tape the impromptu interview.

"Well, when we initially assessed the hostage situation, it became very clear to us that what we were up against was an amateur super villain."

Ron leaned into the reporter's microphone. "The man's name was the Wall Street Breaker, that should speak for itself."

"Excuse me ah Mr.……I'm sorry I've forgotten your name."

"Don't worry ma'am, I remember it." Ron grabbed the mike. "I'd also like to say to anyone listening who has lost money on the market. Yes, it's a tragedy and yes you're angry, but it doesn't do anyone any good for you to slap on lavender spandex, kidnap a bus full of nuns, hold them hostage in a federal bank, all while attempting to flood the financial district with monopoly money. It's a stupid idea and you'll look ridiculous, I myself would recommend ther----"

"Okay," Kim took the mike back and returned it to the reporter, "my partner and I---"

"Hear that folks, partner not sidekick. P-a-r-t-n-e-"

"-----Noticed quickly that the safest route was to first release the hostages. Ron caught the Wall Street Breaker's attention by pouring a cup of coffee into the security controls, causing all the cameras to malfunction."

"Gourmet coffee by the way, and while we're talking about crimes let's talk about the price of a good cup of Joe these days. I mean the sales tax alone……."

"With the villain sufficiently distracted with Ron's help, I freed the hostages. Then it was just a matter of time for us to subdue the villain. Which was quite simple considering what we first thought was a ray gun turned out to be a blow dryer."

"We've beaten some whacked villains before but this guy was special. It was actually quite refreshing not having genetically altered monkey feet or plasma powered fists hurtling at you at ungodly speeds." Ron paused when he noticed that Kim was waiting for him to stop yammering. "Worst villain EVER!" he concluded.

"All in all, this mission was a complete success."

"Did you feel any rust after being away from the world saving business for so long?"

"No, Team Possible was perfectly in sync," Kim answered.

"I zigged when she zagged."

"I zagged when he zigged, no big really," she said proudly.

"Course, it did help that this was the worst villain EVER! Yes, worse than RNAmos, that obvious rip-off."

"Ron…..chillax."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Looks like everything went smoothly."

Kim smiled down at her Kimmunicator. "Well, the villain happened to be a ferocious loser."

"Hey, a villain is a villain. Lucky that he decided to debut so close to you guys. It might have been awhile for me to call in some favors after such a long time."

Ron peered over Kim's shoulder "Hey Wade, when are you going to get a girlfriend buddy….find a nice girl genius, fall in love, have some genius babies. They'll call me Unca Ronnie and I'll give them some pocket money."

"Okkkkaaaaaaayyyyyyy……nice to hear from you too Ron."

"Wade, if there any additional problems in the future don't hesitate to call us. We'll be ready."

Wade laughed "Things getting a little boring in the civilian world?"

Kim glanced at Ron and he smiled sheepishly back at her. "No, things have been anything but Wade…. Actually, a few missions every now and then would be a great change of pace."

"Can do, I'll let you know if anything comes through," Wade said before signing off.

Kim placed her Kimmunicator back into pocket. "Well that was interesting."

"Worst villain ev----"

She placed her hand over his mouth. "I get it Ron, believe me I get it. By the way, you should carry the Ronmunicator around so Wade can quickly reach you too." She removed her hand. "I've got some good news for you."

"Ya love me?"

"No it's not about that."

"Oh okay, let's walk and talk."

"I found out from Monique that this writing club is having a meeting for new members."

"Huh, that's interesting," he said half paying attention.

She stared at him. "So…."

"So what?"

"You write, don't you?"

"I do?"

"Didn't you say that if you had to do something, you'd write?"

"Whoa, whoa," Ron stopped when the sky suddenly opened up. "Let's step out of the rain for a moment."

Ron guided her under the canopy of a grocery store. "I thought I told you when I start thinking of this as a career, it won't be a hobby anymore."

"But it's a club, it's not even a class."

"So I won't get any credit for it? That's exactly what I need, more work for nothing."

"More work? Ron, I've been over to your house, it's like Peter Pan and the Lost Boys over there. You guys don't do anything remotely close to work."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Exaggerating much?"

"Do you want to think about that for a second?"

**Two weeks ago:**

**Felix entered the living room as the sounds of loud snoring intermixed with the living room television.**

"**Relax don't do it, when you want to go to it. Relax don't do it, when you want to come. Relax don't do it, when you want to come!" The nineteen eighties classic pulsed from the glowing box**

**Phil sitting in spitting distance from the television stared directly into its hypnotic glow "Hey, Felix do you think this song is really about----"**

**"Yes, yes it is," Felix said cutting Phil off. Phil shrugged and turned back to the T.V.**

**Felix made who his way towards Ron, who lay draped over the sofa, a fly buzzing around his open mouth.**

**"Hey!" Felix shouted. **

**Ron awoke with a start, snapping his month shut, his teeth barely grazing the fly's body. "Oh Felix, what up?"**

**"Hey, didn't you have a book report to do?" **

**"Please, have you seen that book? It felt like I needed to put on an ascot and smoke a pipe by a fire place just to get past the introduction." He shifted in the couch. "I've done the calculations Felix, and if I pass the final I can skate by with a very nice C."**

**"A C such lofty goals" **

**"You know me Felix, I'm a rouge scholar."**

**"I think you mean Rhodes Scholar," Phil corrected without turning his head away from television.**

**"He got it right the first time," Felix stated.**

**Ron sighed. "Okay mother, I'll work my way up to a B minus just to make you proud." Ron started to lift himself off the couch when Ritchie sprinted into the living room. **

**"Bad movie night guys" He held up two DVDs. "What'll it be, Plan Nine from Outer Space or Santa Clause conquers the Martians."**

**Ron dropped himself back on the couch. "Oh praise the lord, just in the nick of time."**

Ron ran his hands under his chin. "You're way off base with this one Kim….Besides, I have a full plate on my hands as is… I'm not going to do it." He quickly shut his eyes. "And I'm not falling for the PDP either," he put his right hand out, "now lead me home."

He waited for a moment. _What's going on, I don't hear any disagreeing?_ He waved his hand back and forth. "Lo KP?" He cracked opened his eyes a bit and shut them quickly. From the quick peek he got she didn't seem to be using the puppy dog pout.

He opened open his eyes. "No PDP?"

"I'm not going to force you to go but I really think you should." She said with a demeanor all too serious. "I think you should at least check it out once."

Ron groaned and ran his right hand across his face. "Okay, when and where?"

"The meeting is tomorrow at three in Whitehead Hall room 3218. I want you to try and become a regular."

"I can't promise I'll try but I'll try to try."

She smiled. "Fine, I can accept that."

Ron looked up at the sky, the rain was nothing more than a light drizzle "It's not that bad, we shouldn't hide from a little water." He stepped into the rain. "It's nothing reall---" he felt Kim tug at his sleeve.

"I uh… I'm going to this party with Ian in a few days."

All the color drained from his face. "Huh,"

"He uh… he asked me before Wade called us on the mission… he was so excited because---"

Ron watched intently as she explained the current situation. It was reasonable… Ian was a nice guy, only someone heartless would lay such a harsh trip on someone who's about to realize a childhood dream. Kim wasn't the kind of person to do something like that, she was kind hearted person… yeah, she couldn't possibly hurt the guy like that… it would be wrong to hurt someone like that… it was reasonable.

"So obviously you didn't get a chance to tell him about----"

She shook her head "………..I was thinking after the party."

Ron nodded. "Right, that would probably be for the best," he sniffed.

"So you're not mad?

Ron's mouth twitched and then it eventually formed into his trademark goofy grin. "No, I'm fine….I told you I'd wait for an answer and this is all part of it."

"Thank you."

Ron nodded again the rain dripping down his face. He turned away for a moment and then he turned back. "And a thought just occurred to me… don't throw me a bone."

"What?"

"When you figure it out don't rationalize it, okay. Don't go 'hey, we've been good together for some years, what the hell let me throw my hat into the ring'. You understand what I'm saying."

"Not really."

"What I'm saying is, I'm saying……..don't love me because I love you or something like that… I'd hate it if twenty years down the road we have to get a divorce and I'd have to explain to the twins why mommy thinks daddy ruined her life and she had to run off with her personal trainer."

Kim smirked. "So we're having twins now?"

"Sure, why not…." He lifted his hands parallel to his shoulders. "Hey, I'm just pointing something out… if you do love me, love me because you……just do."

She stared at his rain soaked face for a second of two. "How would you tell?"

"Hmmm?"

"How would you tell if I meant it or not, how could you tell if I am 'throwing you a bone' or not?"

Ron stared back at her. Abruptly he grabbed her arm and pulled her into the rain with him, pressing her against his body. He locked eyes with her. "Say it."

"What?"

"It doesn't mean anything right now, you get a free pass. Just say the words."

"I..." she found herself caught in his gaze, "I……I love you Ron."

He studied her face. "I guess I can't," he admitted. "I guess there's no real way to tell," he said softly. "There's no way anybody can really tell."

She shrugged "That's life…that's just how it is. "

"That's how it is…...So when I say it, do you think I mean it?"

"I think that you believ---"

"Wait, I think I know what you think. I'm starting to figure some of this stuff out… Well what about this?" He lifted her chin, looked deep into her eyes, and kissed her as the rain trickled down their faces. Even when the kiss was technically done, he tenderly kept his lips on hers before finally breaking away from her. "What does that tell you?"

"That tells me," she said, "that you're a great kisser."

"Ah, is that all…." He pulled away from her. "Life's just one great mystery after another huh, isn't it… so what do we do now?" he asked.

"Well, I'd like to go home and get out of these wet clothes."

"Yeah Ron looked down at his clothes as if noticing for the first time that he was getting drenched "yea me too."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Talk to me," Monique said as she caught her cell phone on the third ring.

"Yo Mo', where you at?"

_Ron. _She rolled her eyes and sighed. "What is Ron?"

"Just checking in… see if things were good with you."

"Things are good with me… I'm walking home from work right now, what do you want?"

She heard his hesitation on the other side of the line. "……….I heard that Kim is going to a party with Ian."

"Yeah, she is."

"So uh, what's the deal?"

"I don't get it, didn't she tell you about it."

"Oh yeah totally, she explained everything… I agree she had no choice but to tag along with him."

"Okay, if you agree then what's the problem?"

Silence

"It's just that---"

Monique stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. "You don't believe her?"

"No, I believe her, I totally believe her, it's just that you know there was a moment when I believed that she uh" he coughed

"Ron, I was there, I heard the whole thing it all went down exactly like you said, she had no choice. It was either that or we'd have the guy sobbing in our living room."

"Hmmmmmm……….Mo' we've been friends a long time, right?"

"What are trying to say?"

"You and Kim are really close."

"Boy, you're approaching a line you don't want to cross."

She could hear him take a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"I never thought I'd see the day you wouldn't trust Kim."

'I'm not saying that I don't----"

"Well that's what I'm hearing."

"I didn't mean to come across like that I'm acting a little paranoid aren't I? I guess I was a little too optimistic about things"

"If you're upset about this why don't you talk to her----"

"No, I told her I'd wait for her decision, so I'm going to keep my distance, with this whole thing."

_This sitch has been really hard on him. _"Look, Kim will never try to hurt you intentionally, you've got to believe that."

"Yeah, yeah, you're right about that."

"Look if you ever need to talk---"

"Sure."

"Especially if Kim does something stupid, then I can slap some sense into her."

"You should have slapped her before we broke up."

"I tried boy, believe me I tried."

"Thanks."

"So are you ok?"

"If I were any better, I'd be twins…..so Mo'…"

"Yeah?"

"What are you wearing?"

She slapped the phone closed. "What an idiot," she muttered under her breath, but she wore a smile on her face.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Felix popped open a can of soda. "So then the police chief walks up to him and says 'John, where are you going now?', John turns to the camera and says 'I'm going home' like now he wants peace, now he realizes he wants to be a regular guy after we just saw him blow away three hundred people……that movie was just awful."

Ritchie dropped a box of pizza onto the glass counter of the comic book store. "Tell me about it, I was sitting in the theater and I slashed my wrist. It didn't even occur to me that I could have walked out."

Ron sat behind the register and watched as his friends conversed. Normally, he would be right smack in the middle of this random meaningless chatter, but he wasn't feeling up to it at the moment. Yesterday's big revelation, the stupid thing with Ian and the party, had been running through his mind all night. It was eating at him, aggravating him down to his very soul. But Kim had been honest about it, she came right out and told him, she could have just as easily not said anything at all. So that had to mean something, right? She cared enough to come out and tell the truth,…..

"You know what's a good movie?" Ritchie said. "Goodfellas, that movie is so good that even after seeing it for the fiftieth time you'll say Jesus H Christ that was a good movie."

Ron tapped his finger on the glass. There was nothing worse than being pissed off at something that you really shouldn't be pissed off about……Wait a minute, was he in the right here? Did he have a right to be angry like he know was or didn't he?

Emotional control, that's what he needed. He must recall the wise advice he had been granted at Yamanouchi.

**"Ron-kun allow me to introduce you to Sakumaru-san. He has been living alone in these woods for years studying the mystic arts. His wisdom is as vast as the open sky.**

**Ron bowed to the elder Japanese man who stood before him and Yori. This grizzled man of the forest seemed to be much older and dignified then even Master Sensei. He lifted his hand and spoke a few words of rapid Japanese, Yori immediately translated.**

**"He says there is no need to bow Ron-kun, he is just a normal man as you are." **

**"I've heard much about your wisdom Sakamura-Sensei. And I have many questions to be answered for example……What can I do to become a true ninja and fulfill my duty as the Chosen?" Ron waited as Yori translated his question.**

**The old man spoke and once again Yori translated. "He says knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power."**

**Ron was impressed; Sakamura-san was indeed wise. "Sensei, sometimes I find myself frustrated at the world. Is there any advice you can give me to find inner peace?"**

**Sakamura laughed, gave his answer, bowed to Yori and then walked off. **

**"What did he say?" Ron asked excitedly. **

**"Ron-kun he says, in this world, there is only one thing to remember. Some days you're the dog and other days you're the hydrant." **

Ron broke out of the fog of memory….."Why did I bother remembering that?"

"Yo Ron, what's the matter?"

Ron looked up at Phil as he stood up. "Nothing, I just didn't get enough sleep last night."

"Kim playing mind games with you again?"

"Hey, lay off," Ron protested. "Things are complicated right now."

"Yeah, I imagine her having a boyfriend would complicate things a bit."

Phil crumpled up a piece of paper and lined up a shot at a waste basket. "Come on Ritch, you can't blame him for acting stupid. He's in love."

"Or he thinks he's in love."

"I know how I feel," Ron said defensively.

"Uh, remember that one time that you thought a villain was stealing Christmas……and even right up to the breakup you still thought that she-----"

"Whoa, let's watch our step there," Felix interrupted. "Don't want to say anything hurtful now would we?"

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just saying sometimes Ron, you jump into these things head first. And one of these days you're going to drown."

"Look, instead of talking, how about we actually try and do some work around here?"

"Hey I'm offended…..I'm doing my best here."

"That's the main problem Phil, that's the main problem" Ron yawned stretched and made his way into the backroom.

"Ritch, true love or ten million dollars?"

"Well Phil, having never been in love, I wouldn't know what I'm missing. I'd have to take the money…" He opened a can of soda of his own and took a swig.

Felix stared suspiciously at the can. "Is that a diet soda?"

Ritchie looked at the can then back at Felix. "Yeah, so what?"

"I thought you hated diet coke?"

"You think that's weird?" Phil said before Ritchie could explain himself. "I saw him sneak out of the house to go jogging this morning."

"Jogging? Didn't you say jogging is for chicks?"

"Yeah……so obviously……..if I wanted to meet chicks…..I'd have to go to where the chicks are…..and since….jogging is for chicks…….then it's reasonable to say that by jogging……I can meet with said chicks...its common sense"

Felix scanned the closed pizza box and flipped the cover open. "Why is there grass on this pizza?"

"It's just a veggie pizza," Ritchie shouted.

"A veggie pizza?" Phil laughed. "Did a ballerina deliver it?"

"What is going on with you?" Felix asked.

"Maybe… maybe…" Ritchie tried to frantically search for away out of the corner he was in. "Maybe… I'm just thinking outside the box… by trying to better myself."

Felix and Phil stared at him as if he had just gone mad. He could see it in their eyes that they were getting ready to unload on him when Ron suddenly walked out of the back room, his jacket on and heading for the exit.

"Where are you off to?" Felix asked taking the heat off a relieved Ritchie.

"School," Ron said softly.

"I thought you didn't have classes on Tuesdays and Fridays."

"Yeah, I got this writing club thing… Kim thinks... " Ron caught himself mid sentence. "I mean, I think that you know since I like writing as a hobby, I thought I'd join up."

"Right," Phil said.

"Well good luck," Felix said as Ron walked out the door.

Ritchie sighed. "Everyone heard him say Kim, right?"

"Poor boy's whipped like miracle."

Felix and Ritchie glanced at each other then at Phil

"You know," Phil stammered, "whipped like miracle… Miracle Whip mayonnaise."

Ritchie shrugged. "Alright I'll give it to you." He turned to Felix "so should I call my psychic or are you going to tell me why wonder boy's really upset"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron walked into the small classroom trying his best not to seem anxious or not to seem bored, in fact he was trying not to seem like he seeming anything… if that made sense.

The room was buzzing with light chatter between the dozen or so people, when he entered. He was just about to take a seat in the back of the classroom when the poster boy for English Professor's stepped up to the front of the room.

"Well, looks like we have a new member. Would you like to introduce yourself?"

"Sure," Ron said, as every eye in the crowd pointed in his directions. He stood up glanced around the room to acknowledge the crowd and said, "Hi, my name's Ron Stoppable and I'm an alcoholic."

Crickets

"I'm just kidding, I'm a Virgo."

He was pretty sure he got a chuckle from the Asian girl in the front row. _Tough crowd _"Okay, carry on." He sat back down.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"There are a myriad of reasons why people are compelled to write. Some are content to get their stories on the page, freeing the words clamoring in their heads without need for external validation or an audience. Others glean all the readership satisfaction they require from sharing their works with family or friends."

_GROOOOOOOAAAAANNNNNNNNNN_

The English Professor stereotype, the leader of this group rambled on. "When one utters the words, 'I want to be a writer', one automatically has an image of what a writer _is_. Often that image is more visual than verbal. One person may see a writer as a studious, professorial type pecking at a keyboard in a room filled with books. Another may 'see' a well-groomed, confident author holding forth at a major talk show. No matter what we see when we think of a 'real' writer however, the problem is that all too often, we don't see ourselves."

Why was he even here? This didn't count towards his GPA… he could be at home doing more convenient things… like sleeping.

**"**Many writers start with qualititative goals: We want to be a "good" writer, or a "better" writer, or a "successful" writer, or a writer who produces "worthwhile" material. But how do you define good, or successful, or worthwhile? Because these terms are so difficult to measure, such goals continually seem to slip from our grasp, or to be beyond our grasp."

_Must maintain, _Ron thought, _keep my head above water _He let his eyes wander from to the back of the chair in front of him. There was a disclaimer on the seat.

Please do not remove from room 3200.

Ron laughed, the club member sitting next to him glared at Ron as if he had just interrupted the pope during mass.

"Shhhhhhh."

Ron pointed at the disclaimer. "check it out……we're in room 3218."

The student silently stared at him.

"It says do not remove from room 3200… we're in 3218… that's ironic."

"That's not ironic."

"Yes it is, that's irony."

"That is not even close to irony."

"It's the epitome of irony," Ron argued.

The club member replied with another "Shhhhh" and turned his attention back towards their glorious leader.

Ron in the mean time used the palm of his hands to rub the back of his eyelids. "Okay, I'm serious… I'm a paying attention from now on."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Ian you have been selected for termination ZZZZZZZZ"

"Shhhhhhhhh"

Ron woke with a start, half asleep and disorientated. "What… huh… where am I?"

"Shhhhhhhhhh"

Confused and puzzled, Ron briefly wondered what all these people were doing in his room.

"Oh yeah… right," he said, remembering why he had currently trapped in this classroom. Ron pinched himself on the cheek until it reddened.

This club meeting lasted for an hour and a half, how long had passed? Forty minutes, an hour? Ron glanced at the clock, he had been there for approximately… fifteen minutes…… oh lord.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Twenty minutes into the meeting:

Ron stared at the fly that was dancing across his watch. The house fly, Musca domestica, is one of the most common of all insects. It has a tremendous breeding potential and during the warmer months can produce a generation in less than two weeks.

_Why do I know that?_

Suddenly a huge explosion rocked the room, as the left wall came crumbling down to the ground. Dust caked the room.

"What's going on?" Ron cried.

Suddenly to his surprise, Kim rolled across the floor into the room, her clothes tattered from battle.

"Kim what are you doing here?"

She ignored him, climbed to her feet and took a fighting stance. "Kim!" Like a bat out of hell Shego charged into the room and engaged Kim in combat.

Kim deflected Shego's initial punch but she found her self blindsided by a vicious clothesline. Once on the ground, Shego pounced on her and proceeded to pin her to the ground.

Appearing from out of the air itself, a referee dove to the ground beside them and began slapping his open palm into the ground.

He started to count. "One, two----" On the second count, Kim broke out of Shego's pin, grabbed her by the hair, and captured her in a headlock.

"I don't get it….what's going on?" Ron looked over his shoulders only to discover that the English Professor had transformed into a ring announcer.

"Oh this is a real slobberknocker folks, a knuckle dragging catfight, just what's you'd expect from a GWA bra and panties match."

_Bra and panties match? This is insane, I've got to… _Kim and Shego groaned and grunted as they grappled across the floor. Shego swiped at Kim's chest her plasma tearing the fabric of her midriff. In return Kim reached up an tore off the shoulders of Shego's jumpsuit revealing the hook of her bra _……ooooooo_

"This is the wildest match I've ever seen in all my….. wait, who's that in the distance?"

Ron turned back to the hole the wall. "Yori!"

The Japanese beauty wore a traditional kimono decorated with pictures of falling cherry blossoms. "This match cannot continue without my participation. It will be my honor to defeat you both in no holds barred combat and return to Japan as the victorious GWA woman's champion." Yori threw off her kimono showing off what seemed like a skin tight version of her usual ninja garb.

"Holy Cow," the announcer exclaimed as Yori dove headfirst into the fight and the three women became a groping, grunting, pile of flailing limbs.

"This is the greatest moment of my life," Ron told himself as Yori executed a spinning piledriver to Shego only to have Kim practically rip the shirt off her back. "It can't get any better unless…."

Before he could finish his thought the ceiling abruptly collapsed and to Ron's amazement, Wonder Woman dove into the room carrying a large barrel of honey in her arms.

"OH MY GAWD," screamed the announcer. "In all my days of sports entertainment I've never seen anything like thing. Wonder Woman has descended into the arena and is now spreading honey all over our vivacious, brash, exuberant, bubbling, bouncing, scintillating, zesty fighters."

Ron closed his eyes. "Now I can finally say that I have truly lived."

"Mr. Stoppable"

He slowly opened his eyes and looked up at the Professor. "Mr. Stoppable, or can I call you Ronald?"

"Ronald is fine," Ron answered.

"Ronald, can you help me hand out these sheets to the rest of the class?"

Ron did his best to inconspicuously cross his right leg over his left. "What?"

The Professor smiled as held a stack of papers to his chest. "It's our little initiation, the new members help spread some good words," he joked.

_Oh my god, its junior high all over again. _"I can't."

"You can't?"

"Yeah."

"Why not?"

"…………..For personal reasons."

"Personal reasons?"

"Can you come back to me in like five minutes?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So for the rest of our time together, let's do some free writing," the Professor told the club members.

"Oh the pain… the pain dear William," Ron moaned.

"Shhhh"

Ron looked at the club member beside him. "Dr. Smith, lost in Space… don't you watch classic television?"

"Shhhhhhhh"

"Bah." Ron picked up his pen and stared at the piece of paper on the desk. "Okay, free writing."

He pressed the pen against the paper.

_……..It was a dark and stormy night, not a creature was stirring not even a mouse…………._

He paused and looked down at his writing. "What?" he furiously scribbled out the sentence that he had written.

_Why am I even here… I'm not a writer……most of the stuff I've written is fanfiction for godsakes!... Okay, I'm trapped here for another twenty minutes… I might as well make the best of this……_

Ron's chain of thought were broken when the cell phone of the club member beside him went off, causing him to be shushed by the other the members.

"Oh," Ron started, "the irony in this room is so thick I'm choking on it."

"Hey, shut up," the club member said as he fumbled with his phone.

"Please stop flirting with me sir." Ron put the pen back down on the paper.

_Vanessa turned away from him filled with defiance. He sighed, she was giving him a shoulder colder then Alaska._

_"Face it Bill we've got nothing in common," she spewed._

_He said, "Oh yeah what about Breakfast at Tiffany's."_

_She said, "I think I remember the film."_

_He embraced her from behind. "And as I recall, I think, we both kind of liked it. Well, that's the one thing we've got."_

Ron stopped. He crinkled the paper and threw it over his shoulders and replaced it with a new one.

He put the pen to this new piece of paper. He was motionless for a minute, then two. _Hmmm the pen doesn't seem to be moving._ It didn't take him long to realize that his mind was as blank as the page before him.

_Okay, this is where I quit… yeah, I'm just going to get up and quit… it's my right as an American to quit… It's what our forefathers fought for. _

"In case some of you are drawing blanks. The crucial thing, every writer needs to understand is that the most interesting and thoughtful fiction comes from the real world. A writer's experiences should directly affect the fiction he/she chooses to write. Great writers draw their characters from people they know, people they've met in real life," the Professor stated.

"Experiences, experiences," Ron repeated to himself over and over again. He drew a breath and blew it out. He tapped the pen against his forehead for a few more minutes when various loose thoughts started to come together.

_He laid there in his bed listening to nothing but her shallow breathing; his gaze followed the circular motion of the ceiling fan as it sliced through the air_

_Slice_

_Slice_

_Slice_

_As he stared up at he ceiling he couldn't help but shake the feeling that something was wrong, something was very wrong with everything._

_This wasn't what he bargained for; it wasn't what he expected when he got into this…..what exactly would you call this? It wasn't a relationship. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. He shifted to his side and his eyes fell on the empty space between them in bed. He wished she'd come closer, then he could touch her, hold her close._

_To his surprise she turned over and faced him. She looked rested, peaceful, and content. Her eyes were veiled by small strands of her hair. He wanted to reach over and brush the hair from her face, to get a clear view of her lovely features. But he held himself back. At the moment he couldn't will himself to move._

_"Are you still with me?" she said._

_"Present," he replied._

_"You look depressed."_

_"It's just my emotions. Don't worry, they'll go away."_

_"What are you thinking about?"_

_"You"_

_"Really"_

_"If I had a grape for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my vineyard forever."_

_She chuckled lightly, before closing her eyes and drifting back to sleep. He wanted to say I love you, but what purpose what it do, she was married. And she'd probably stay married. Therefore, his words were meaningless to her, meaningless in the grand scheme of things._

_He wondered if he knew beforehand that this was how things would turn out, would he have said those words back then? Would he have kissed her?_

_This just wasn't what he expected it would be, nowhere near what he had first imagined._

_She stretched out and smacked her lips. Her eyes fluttered for a moment. "Hey," she said, more than half asleep, "don't leave me ok, don't ever leave me alone."_

_Nowhere near what he had first imagined._

_He reached up and brushed the hair from her face. "I'll never leave you, even though I've never really had you."_

"Time's up," the professor called out to the rest of the class.

Ron stopped writing and gawked at his paper. "Whoa..." was the only thing he could bring himself to say.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Psssst Hey you...you like this story? Did it make you laugh? It did? Well I'll let you in on a secret there's this thing called the Fannie awards that Zaratan is hosting...and the thing is this story has yet to be nominated for Best Comedy...can you believe it? Someone should really do something about that? Don't you think so?

A/N Anyway hope you like this chapter, I did my best...I bet you still have a lot of questions...like what the hell is wrong with Kim? Will Ron's ex show up again?...Where the hell is this story going? etc, etc...well all I can say is keep reading, it'll get better...if you review...Yea Feedback helps for example I like Allison do you? Ritchie and Bonnie's scheming yes, no?

Songs used in this chapter

1) Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake

2) Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood

3) You Spin me around Dead or Alive

4) Mystery pop culture reference figure it out


	7. What's love got to do with it?

A/N Well I'm back it's been a...few months...Hopefully this chapter will be worth the wait.

Ok folks let me address the angst situation with this. Love can be rough

* * *

"**You can plan a nice picnic but you can't predict the weather."**

Ron started to chew a bit on the end of his pencil while he stared down at the writing in the tiny 7 by 5 inch notebook he held in his hand. "Felix what do you think about this line?"

Felix didn't accept the notebook. "You do realize where we are, right?"

"Oh yeah, the comic-con." Ron surveyed his immediate surroundings. The convention hall was the biggest room he had ever seen in his entire life; high ceilings, lots of windows, view of the ocean, snack carts, plenty of elbow room. There were dozens of lines of people who were gathered around giant islands of tables full of free stuff. People grabbed fliers, stickers, trading cards, posters and business cards until their lust for free stuff was satiated. Lou Ferrigno, in all of his rippling goodness, smiled for the cameras. The big comic book companies had their booths right along side the struggling cartoonists hoping for exposure. Large screen TV's showcased the latest movie trailers or video game demos. This was indeed a geek's paradise; people, costumes, displays, and comics.

"This should be the greatest day of my life and yet….."

"Isn't this place great," Phil exclaimed as he took his place behind Felix on the line. "So what happened to Ritchie?"

"Just listen," Ron told them.

Felix and Phil cupped their ears, pointed it toward the masses of people, and listened intently.

"Are you $#!-ing nuts? Wolverine is nowhere near as fast as Spidey. He'd NEVER be able to tag him. As far as strength as concerned, Spidey lifted a few Subway trains, and supported the entire daily Bugle building when it was about to collapse. Any true comic fan would have read the first issue of Robert Kirkman's brilliant MTU where Spidey utterly humiliates and webs up Wolverine in like ten seconds. Anyone who says Wolverine will win is delusional to the worst degree."

"Ah, it's good to have the ole Ritch back. I was worried about him there for a minute."

"You can say that again," Felix added. "Is it just me, or did he lose like twenty pounds in three days?"

"The other night I swear I saw him jogging around campus."

This not only surprised Felix but Ron as well, since it was not long ago that Ritchie had compiled a list of unmanly activities and jogging happened to be in his top ten.

"Ritchie can be strange sometimes," Ron commented. "If you pay attention, you'll catch him talking about seasonal fashion or Ancient Polynesian history."

"So how are you feeling today?" Felix asked.

"Why would I be feeling anything other than fine?"

"You-know…."

Ron shrugged. "Hey, I'm fine, I'm emotionally controlled. There is no reason for me to wallow in a pit of darkness anymore. I feel no pain, I'm enlightened, I was blind but now I see. Felix, I was hit with an amazing grace."

"You don't act like your fine."

"Yet I am."

"I think you're lying."

"How do you know?"

"I can read minds."

"So you've read my mind?"

Felix grinned. "It's a short read."

"Ah," Ron rolled his eyes, "I walked right into that one."

Ron stepped up as the line moved forward. "Here comes Ritch," Felix announced.

Ritchie arrived with sweat pouring from his body and a can of V8 in his hand. "Stinking nerds man," he muttered as he stepped behind Phil. "When are they going to learn that going up against me is like a promiscuous girl going up against Jason Voorhees."

Phil stared suspiciously at Ritchie. "What's with the V8?"

"Hey, we're going to see Allison again," Ritchie said quickly changing the subject. "That should be cool right?"

"Most definitely, a man would be lucky to have a girl like that," Phil blurted out

"Oh yeah," Felix agreed, "she's a great catch."

Ron replied with a low "hmmmmm".

"Seriously, I totally wish she was my girlfriend, but I think she's got her eyes on someone else," Ritchie added

"I know what you're trying to do guys, but the thing between me and Kim hasn't been resolved yet…..besides, I don't think Allison feels that way about me."

Ritchie quickly snatched his cell phone from his pocket. "Hold on, I'm getting a text. Hmmm, it's from someone named opportunity and it's addressed to Ron Stoppable. Opportunity must have sent it to me by mistake."

"Obviously," Ron replied sarcastically.

"Wait, there's more. Opportunity says 'please open the door, I've been standing out in the rain for a long time.'"

Phil ran his fingers through his hair. "Hey, who would win in a fight, Forrest Gump or Rain Man?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ms. Hornby, I love your comics. I like the layout, the writing, the pictures..."

Allison nodded politely to one of her many adoring fans. "Yes, I am familiar with what a comic entails….thanks anyway."

The fan traced his fingers over the cover of his newly autographed comic. "I love you."

"Excuse me?"

"I gotta go." Before she could blink he was gone.

"Ok," Allison took a sip from a bottle of water and peeked down the line of fans awaiting the call for a precious autographed comic of their own.

"Looking for someone?"

Allison almost spit did a spit-take. She held her lips tight, swallowed the mouthful of water and glanced at Jillian, her illustrator/best friend.

"What are you talking about?"

"That's like the fifth time I caught you taking a glimpse down the line."

"I'm just checking on my fans."

"I've never seen you check out your fans like this at any other conventions. You're definitely looking for someone." She grinned. "Is that certain someone the one you're going to give the comic to?"

Allison blushed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ok, Jaws or the whale from Orca?"

Felix groaned. "Phil, please shut up."

Ron scribbled furiously into his notebook as Ritchie held up a comic before his face. "Hey Ron, check out this old comic I found. Yeah, it's sort of a chick comic like Casper, but it's got a great story."

Ron ran his eraser across the page. "Uh-huh."

"It's an old fable about princess who takes pity on a poor farmer and marries him knowing that he would never betray her love, all the while thinking 'oh what a good person I am to share my love'."

"That sounds cool," Ron replied.

Ritchie paused "Did you not hear me earlier or am yelling down an empty cave?"

"Yeah, I like Archie comics too."

Ritchie groaned.

Felix jabbed Ron in the back with his forefinger. "You're up."

Ron tore himself away from his notebook to find that it was his turn to walk up to Allison's booth. And there she was, less than twenty feet away. He pocketed his notebook and stepped up.

She didn't seem to notice him yet, or maybe she didn't care. She looked up at him, why was his mouth dry? Was he supposed stand directly in front of her or to the side? Why did it matter where he stood? Why was he even here?

Then she smiled.

"Hey."

"Hey," he repeatedly cheerfully. "Uh…."

Ron froze. He suddenly realized that he hadn't planned this far ahead. He knew he was coming to the comic-con, he knew he was going to see her; he knew she would see him, but for some unknown reason chitchat he had not foreseen.

He opened his arms wide. "So, the new comic"

She nodded. "Yeah, it's really selling.'

"That's great. I mean, I assume selling is a good thing."

"It's a very good thing. You can take my word for it."

He rubbed his hands together nervously. "I got a chance to check it out."

Her face lit up. "Really?"

"Yes, it leaked out on the net a few day ago and…" he cut himself short. "I mean, I brought it and then I thought it was so good, I had to have an additional copy on my computer so I could read it there."

Allison chuckled as Jillian watched with interest.

"It's ok. Actually, it's a good thing you didn't buy it yet." She reached under her chair, pulled out a large manila envelope and offered it to Ron. "Here."

He took it graciously and glanced inside the envelope to discover a mint condition, limited edition autographed copy of Allison's comic. Compared to the other issues out on the stand, this one had a gold foil cover. "Wow."

"That's going to be worth a lot of money someday," Jillian stated.

"I don't know what to say….well, you know besides thank you…I can say thank you."

Allison smiled. "Thank you is enough."

There came an awkward lull in the conversation, of which Jillian took the opportunity to clear her throat.

"Ah yes, Ron, this is my illustrator Jillian Thomson."

"You do great work."

"Thanks uh Ron? …..Yeah… Ron, we're going on a lunch break in about an hour, would you care to join us?"

He thought uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

He said, "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

"I'm sure Ron has better things to do," Allison said.

"No he doesn't," came a voice from behind them.

Ron turned towards his so called friends. Felix and Phil smiled innocently at him. Ritchie mimed opening an invisible door.

He turned back to Allison and suddenly remembered Ian's stupid party.

"I uh, that sounds badical."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"**Ladies I'm pleased to introduce our very special guest speaker, a teenage hero, a current Freshman at Middleton University and a strong female role model for young women across the country, Kimberly Anne Possible."**

**Kim shuffled to the podium and looked out at the audience, the proud and strong members of Middleton's famous Independent League of Women Voters. Kim had been so happy when they offered to make her an honorary member.**

"**Thank you Mrs. Rodriguez for that wonderful introduction." Kim took a deep breath and started her speech.**

**About an hour later, the meeting all but over and with most of the members gone, Kim, Mrs. Rodriguez and a few of the other prominent members of the organization could be found tidying up the conference room.**

"**Kimberly really, you don't need to do this. We can handle it from here."**

"**It's no big," Kim said as she collected empty paper cups. "It's the least I can do for the league."**

"**I didn't see your partner in the audience. Um, his name escapes me at the moment."**

"**Ron, Ron Stoppable. He couldn't be here today, he caught the flu and he's been sick all week."**

"**Oh that's too bad. That must have ruined any plans you had for Valentine's Day."**

"**It did indeed," Kim sighed. Though Ron had insisted they do go out to dinner anyway, Kim quickly made it clear that him projectile vomiting on their waiter was not her idea of romance. She put his mind at ease by assuring him that they would have many more Valentines together anyway so he need not worry.**

"**High school sweethearts who save the world together, it sounds so romantic," Mrs. Rodriguez cooed.**

**Kim smiled. The fact was it is kind of romantic when you think about it. "Actually, Ron and I have known each other since we were four."**

"**Really?"**

"**Sounds a little like me and Ted." Another fairly young member declared as she approached them, making it very clear that she had been eavesdropping. "Though without the world saving bit." Kim recalled that her name was Samantha Andrews. **

**Samantha leaned against the broom she was holding. "Ted and I, we grew up together in the suburbs outside of Upperton. We were best friends for the longest time, then one day before we graduated junior high, Ted told me he had been crushing on me for years. Back then, I never dreamed about dating him but I decided hey, why not give it a chance."**

**Kim noticed that the remaining members were now crowding around them as if Samantha was telling a campfire tale. **

"**So we dated and we became THE couple of our high school. I dug him, and he totally worshiped me. The thing about Ted that I loved the most was the fact that we talked about everything, including our insecurities, with each other. If he felt threatened by my friendship with a boy, he let me know about it right away and we fixed it together. I don't think I ever had a problem with anything he ever did. I trusted his judgment on everything, and I felt that he loved me as much as I loved her, even if he did have trust issues with my friends. When we decided to take our relationship to the next level, he gave me the most beautiful diamond ring….."**

_**That does sort of sound like me and Ron in a way.**_

**"……..It was definitely true love. I told him I loved him everyday and he did the same."**

**Kim smiled brightly **

"**I was going to be spending the rest of my life with this man, or so I thought at the time……"**

_**Oh no.**_

**He dropped the bomb on me a Wednesday night at nine thirty two PM on August 5th, 2005. I still remember time standing still, my arms and legs going numb, and the tears. He told me that he didn't like who he was when we were together and that he thought we should see other people****" Samantha sighed. "He started working at a local theater and I just stopped going to the movies. He quit that job and worked at McDonald's…I haven't had a cheeseburger since. I still avoid him to this day. Every once in awhile, someone will say 'guess who I saw' and I'll just shut off my brain and ignore them in case the hurt comes back." **

**If it was possible to choke on the awkwardness in the air, Kim would have suffocated three times over. Samantha had a faraway look in her eye. It reminded Kim of the 'thousand yard stare' she had read about in books about war veterans returning home from the battlefield. Samantha chortled "We were best friends."**

"**I used to go out with a guy I grew with up with too," said another woman. "This is quite a coincidence."**

_**Understatement of the year!**_

**The woman continued. "We started going out when I turned eighteen and we were living together three months later. Life was grand. My friends thought this was all strange because, you know, a level headed slow moving gal like me wouldn't take such a commitment leap so quickly in a relationship. But you know... love makes people crazy."**

**Every woman in the room except Kim laughed.**

"**A year later, things went sour. He would argue with me about silly things. We actually fought more than ever. The next few months were a nightmare. He would always argue/nitpick/fight with me. Everything went south……the love was gone…..it came a point where I couldn't even bear to see his face."**

**Someone coughed.**

"**The thing is, I really wanted it to work out, I really did. I was willing to do whatever it took to make it happen."**

"**That's the worst part," Samantha said. "It's the helpless feeling you get when you watch as the relationship dies a slow and painful death. Because it reaches a point where you can't save it, you're powerless to do anything as everything you've cared about comes crashing down on you like a meteor. When the pain reaches its maximum, that's when you realize it's all beyond your control…..but then again, maybe you just got caught in something you had no control over in the first place. You gave yourself up to the current and it unmercifully smashed you against a barrier reef."**

**Samantha caught a glimpse of Kim's now pale face. "But of course, it's better to have loved and lost as they say."**

"**Oh yes," a murmur of agreement traveled through all the women, "definitely."**

"**I'm sure you and Ron are perfectly fine," Ms Rodriguez chuckled nervously. "It's just that a lot of the women here have been through…you're young and….well….love and relationships are complicated." **

**Kim's eyes flickered from one face to another. "Oh no I…..I appreciate you all sharing your….stories with me. I feel like a genuine member," Kim explained with as much sincerity she could muster.**

"**Oh thank goodness. Listening to us old hens might scare anyone off love forever."**

**Samantha waved her hands dismissively. "Ah, she's a strong woman. She's faced dangers we've never even dreamed off. It'll probably roll right off her back."**

**Kim grinned. "Well, I'm just your basic average girl."**

"**Far from it! You don't have the same weaknesses as us mortal women."**

"**Well I have saved the world quite a few times," Kim replied jokingly.**

"**And she's modest too." **

**Everyone laughed again. **

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kim and Monique were jogging along the outside of the campus side by side and totally in step when Monique broke the routine silence that was usually part of their jogging sessions.

"Party's tomorrow."

"Yep."

"And then?"

Kim inhaled deeply and then exhaled. "We'll see."

"I feel a storm a coming," Monique said doing her best imitation of an old miner forty niner.

Kim took a sideways glance at her friend. "Monique, do you think I make good decisions?"

"What?"

"You've known me for awhile, I'm asking you from what you've seen do I make the right decisions?"

"I'd say you do make the right decision…….most of the time."

"Most of the time," Kim repeated to herself. They jogged in silence for a moment before Kim restarted the conversation. "When we're on a mission, I try my best to take into account the ramifications of all my actions. Sometimes I'll have to put my personal safety below my objectives of course. And other times, I've to make decisions to protect people, to protect Ron…..and myself…."

"Hmmm," Monique contemplated the direction the conversation was headed. "You're not perfect. People always do stuff they end up regretting, even heroes."

"Sometimes I wish I could be one hundred percent sure about the things I do. I know that's pretty much impossible, but I want to do things as perfectly as I can."

"You know it's not just the things we do perfectly that counts, it's the things that we don't do perfectly, the stuff underneath the makeup, that makes us human. Mistakes can happen, so you try your best to correct them."

"The best course of action might seem like a mistake at first."

"And vice versa."

"Touché."

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."

"Who said that?"

"Dr. Maria Robinson."

"She's a smart woman."

Monique smirked. "And a smart woman quoted her so you should definitely take that into consideration."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ron, do you play video games?" Jillian asked

Ron took a sip of soda and quietly reflected on the question. "Yes, and my heart beats and I breathe."

"Let me see if I got it right. Video games, heart beat, breathing."

"In that particular order, yes," he added.

Jillian and Allison found this very amusing. Jillian's laugh was surprisingly husky, it was closer to a guffaw than to Allison's tantalizing giggle.

_Tantalizing?_

"Allison loves videos games too. But comics will always be her first love," Jillian beamed at her friend. "So how did you two uber geeks even meet?"

As Allison clarified their 'relationship' to her friend, Ron shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He took a fleeting look around the room. They were now sitting in a dank dimly lit café, it was a tiny place frequented mostly by the hipster crowd. A crowd Ron had found early on in his college life that he did not relate to; even though he had tried. For one thing, he didn't own an Ipod nano and that seemed like a prerequisite, and he didn't care what was in Hamburger Helper, he found it delicious. And there was a little too much bike riding for his liking.

"So Ron, did you enjoy your gift?" Jillian asked snapping Ron back down to earth.

"Oh yeah, totally." He looked at Allison. "I have to admit, when you first told me about the surprise, I thought you were going to get me a dog or something."

"Awww, now I feel bad about not getting the dog."

"Hey, pet stores don't close till seven. Just uh, be sure to grab twenty years worth of food on the way out."

Through the corner of his eye Ron noticed the mischievous grin forming on Jillian's face and he started to worry.

"So Ron...if you don't mind me asking," the gleam in Jillian's eye could mean nothing but trouble, "do you have a girlfriend?"

"Uh well, technically no."

Jillian smiled

Allison glanced down at the menus on the table.

Ron panicked but no one noticed.

'The thing is, I'm kind of at a crossroads….no wait um, let me phrase that better...I'm in a transitional phase. It's sort of all up to the second party now."

Ron's felt his cell phone vibrate. He grabbed his phone as the girl's shared a chuckle. "Sorry, I've got to take this, it might be save the world type stuff," he said quickly.

"Hello?"

"Hey."

"K…P…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kim used a towel to swipe at the sweat on her forehead. "Hey."

"Kim," his voice wavered slightly.

"Listen Ron, I wanted to talk about tomorrow…." It was then that Kim heard the faint giggles coming from the other line.

It was definitely giggling of the female variety.

There was pause; a terrible multi-second pause.

"Yes Kim?"

_Hulk Kim leaped from her hidden position deep in the wooded area of the park and landed before Kim with a tremendous bang that shook the very foundation of Middleton. Hulk Kim beat her fists against her chest and roared._

"_Me no like giggling girls."_

"Uh Kim, are you there?"

"_Hey now big girl," Power suit Kim arrived to soothe the savage beast. "I've got a friend I'd like you to meet."_

_Logical Kim peered from behind Power suit Kim wearing a blue sweater, tan corduroy jeans, and large rimmed glasses. She pushed her glasses up her nose. 'I mean, we shouldn't really jump to conclusions."_

"Who's that?"

"Who's what?"

"I heard some (_FEMALE)_ voices in the background."

She listened intently for his explanation; pressing the phone tightly against her ear.

"I'm having lunch with a few friends of mine."

"Felix there?"

"No."

"Ritchie, Phil?"

"………..No."

_Hulk Kim snatched Logical Kim up by the neck as Power Suit Kim tried to fight the monster off. "Puny human, girls only giggle when they interested!"_

"_Betrayal, betrayal!" Proud Kim arrived in a fine dress with a full skirt of ivory silk, pure taffeta, old lace and hand embroidery incorporating 10,000 pearls and sequins and a tiara in her hair._

_Power suit Kim frowned at her. "Haven't seen you in awhile."_

"_Even when I'm not here, my shining presence shall forever be felt."_

"You don't know them, I just met them recently."

"Oh, ok."

"Uh, is there problem….because I took the call at the table...and it would be rude to kept talking….restaurant etiquette you know.

_Table plus restaurant equal date. It obvious!_

Kim bit her bottom lip.

"But if it's important……"

_Betrayal! Do not forget how easily we were replaced last time!_

_Are you still hung up on that? Cut it out!_

_Kim smash!_

"It didn't take you long, did it?"

"What?"

"Couple of days and suddenly SPR is back?"

Ron was momentarily at a loss for words. "It's not like that."

"So what is it like?"

"I met them at the comic-con."

"Oh yeah, suddenly you befriend some girls you met at a comic book convention. Right, that sounds……"

"No, I already knew one from before…." Ron replied.

"Oh you did! Well that is interesting."

"Again, it's not what you think, so just stop. You're being paranoid."

"Oh yeah, it's my fault. I thought after your speech that night..well... maybe you're just lining them up just in case."

Silence.

"Ok, here's what you do KP. You run this sitch by Ian. You remember him, your BF? Yeah, ask him if _he_ thinks you're being paranoid, then wait till he falls asleep, call me back, and we'll compare notes."

Click.

"_He hung up on us," Proud Kim exclaimed with outrage. _

_Six year old B.F.F Kim ran back an forth between Pride and Hulk Kim kicking them both in the knees at every opportunity. "You keep making things worser, I don't like fighting with my best friend._.

_Logical Kim looked befuddled as she attempted to explain. "I don't think Ron would go back on his word, and anyway, if he did, can you blame him?"_

_Power suit Kim slowly massaged her forehead. "Think, think, think, I can't let this get out of hand."_

Kim slapped her phone shut and exhaled. "Crud."

Monique arrived a second later with two bottles of water. "Here." She tossed one to Kim before noticing the change in the air around her best friend. "What happened?"

"Nothing."

_I just wanted to talk to him and then it all went wrong._

Kim got up from the park bench. "Something tells me that I shouldn't get into any relationships until the world makes sense again."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"_What did you do?" Still in love Ron cried out. "You hung up on the light of my life."_

_XBF Ron stared at SLR for a moment before smashing his fist into SLR's eye. SLR clutched his eyes and cried, "Ow that hurt!"_

"_Oh, I thought you must have forgotten what pain felt like."_

"_That's enough," B.F.F Ron announced, "we're going to have to apologize, ok?"_

"_Apologize? What did we do wrong?"_

"Are you ok?" Allison asked.

"Trouble in paradise?" Jillian asked.

_Trouble in purgatory._ "I'm sorry about all that that."

"It's fine."

Jillian stood up. "Excuse me folks, I've got to use the ladies room." With that, she skipped away a manner that had Ron wondering if she would return.

"Listen, I just want to be clear that this wasn't my idea," Allison told him.

Ron glanced in the direction of the bathrooms. "I figured as much."

"Wait no, it's not that I'm not having a good time because I am, it's just I didn't plan on any of this."

"Right."

"I hope we didn't get you in trouble with your girlfriend there."

"Not my girlfriend," Ron pointed out. "Used to be but not anymore."

Allison cleared her throat. "You don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable; what did you mean when you said that 'it was all up to the second party'?"

Ron paused.

Allison became visibly flustered. "I'm sorry, if you got to know me you'd realize quickly that I'm an inappropriately nosy person. Let's just drop it."

"No, it's ok." Ron leaned back in his seat. "It's just that the story is complicated."

"I understand," she started to once again scan the menus.

_Might as well._

"It's a long story."

She looked up at him. "I've got time."

"What about the convention?"

"Screw em."

He laughed. "Alright."

It was hard at first but once he got going, the story flowed out of him like a river. Trustfully he wasn't obligated to tell her anything. But here he was. For some reason she looked like a good listener. How he would go about describing what a 'good listener' looked like was beyond him. But Allison looked the part.

"So that's the story so far."

"That's quite a tale."

"Tell me about it. It's totally soap opera worthy, though there's a bit too much angst and not enough forbidden love."

She smiled sweetly, Ron was never good at reading people's faces but she looked like he wanted to say something more.

"Is there something wrong?"

"No."

"You look like you have something to say?"

"No, it's fine."

"I'd really like to hear your opinion about this, um, pool of smelly stuff that I'm currently wading through."

"Ok." She pushed a few strands of her hair away from her eyes. "I have to ask, do you know what love is? I mean real love?"

_What? _"Um, I'm pretty sure I do. It's what I've been fighting for these past few weeks."

She closed her eyes for a quick second before reopening them. "No offense, but I'm not sure you do. Ok, maybe you do have an idea but it's a naive, childish one."

Ron swallowed the lead in his throat.

"The way you've been trying to force your girlfriend to say I love you…"

_Force?_

"I don't want to say that I know exactly what you're thinking, but from where I'm sitting….I think that you believe that her saying 'I love you' will keep her with you forever, as if you've locked her into some kind of contract."

'Wow that's…"

"You seem to be so insecure about the relationship that you believe that once you have 'trapped' her into saying these three words, it'll cement the relationship forever."

"No, it's not like that at all, who doesn't want a little reciprocation you know….

"So you wouldn't believe she loved you until she said so."

"Hey I... everyone... I mean, it wouldn't hurt."

"Yeah, it's great when it truly comes from the heart, not when it's forced out of you by a potential love. Wouldn't it have better if she said it herself?"

"Of course but…"

"But you were getting impatient? You didn't think she would ever say it herself? You didn't have faith that she was would say it on her own?"

Ron opened his mouth to say something but the only thing that came out was his breath.

"But I guess when she finally said it, you'd be able to sleep at night. She wouldn't look at other guys, she'd only be thinking about you. Once she said those three little words, she's officially yours, mind, body, and soul."

"I'm sensing a little sarcasm there."

"You've got to know that people can say one thing one day and change their minds the next. Words won't keep someone around forever. Only true honest love will do that."

Suddenly feeling like a lost child in an unfamiliar world, Ron sank back in his seat. He ran his hand across the back of his neck.

"So have you ever been in love?"

"What do you mean by love?"

He thought about it. "I mean the kind of love when you love someone with your whole heart. I mean, you _love_ them and they can be mean to you and make you feel worthless but you still love them and you don't want to hurt them."

_Hurt them by ignoring them for two months after you break up, even though they still wanted to be in your life or having babes crawl all over you even though you knew it bugged them_

She blinked. "Once. I thought it was love at first sight….I should have looked twice I guess."

"So you're an experienced woman?"

"You could say that," she smiled.

"So tell me, what's true love?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Why not?

"It's something you've got to experience for yourself."

"That doesn't really help me."

"I can tell you one thing, love isn't supposed to hurt." There came an awkward lapse in the conversation. "Listen, this may be a little forward…..."

The lead in his throat returned.

"……If it doesn't work out with the second party, then….."

"Hey guys, I'm back," Jillian exclaimed. She sat back down and looked back and forth between Ron and Allison. "Whoa, is it me or did the atmosphere in here change?"

Allison looked away

"So anyway Ron, you've been saving the world since you were like what, twelve? How do you live a normal life?"

"Oh well, I don't know about normal," he chuckled nervously. "I actually live the same as I type; fast and with lots of mistakes."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day:

"**Looking back on it my autobiography should be called 'In spite of myself'**"

"So what the heck is he writing?" Dave Perotta asked. He and Felix watched as Ron sat in a corner of the comic book store and rubbed an eraser across the pages of his notebook.

"I don't know, but he's not being a good supervisor!" Felix shouted at him. Ron remained in the same position. "He's been like that since yesterday."

"And he refuses to tell us how his date with Allison went," Ritchie remarked as he did a few reps with a twenty pound dumbbell.

"It wasn't a date," Ron called out without removing his face from the notebook.

"Bah."

"Dude, does this have anything to do with the Elizabeth breakup?" Dave asked.

"Nah, I'm pretty sure this weirdness is about Kim…maybe a little about them both," Felix answered.

"I'll handle this," Dave said. "I know how to talk to people." He slowly walked over to Ron's corner of the store.

Ron continued to write as Dave kneeled before him. "Dude, I know what you're going through."

Ron stopped for a moment. "You do?"

"Of course, I'm a Scorpio, we're the most passionate people."

Ron blinked. "You say that like it's real."

"Whether horoscopes are real or not is not the point. The point is you're not going to stop hurting for awhile, I know. Yes you screwed up, you fell in love with someone. Now it's time to pay for all those good times. But you're not going to do that scratching in a notebook with a distorted soul. Just think about it who are the coolest guys in action movies, video games, and comics...the ones with scars on their face and their body, You've got battle scars man, years from now you'll have a great story to tell, you'll pull out your scars and say 'check this one out man, let me tell you how this one girl freaking destroyed me but guess what I survived'."

He smacked Ron on his shoulder, stood up, popped his collar, winked at Felix, and strolled coolly out of the sore.

"What the hell was that?" Ron asked.

Before he could get an answer, a menacing and hostile air blew into the store when Buzzy Parker, Sam Matthers, Jimmy Hughes, and Opie Jones sauntered into the store.

"Yo, where's Stoppable?" Opie barked.

Ron stood up and made his way towards the front of the store. "Uh hey."

"So we meet again," Buzzy Parker growled

Ron glanced at his friends then back at Buzzy. "Whatever you say Bloefeld."

"Bloefeld?"

"James Bond villain," Phil replied. Then he began to recite "From Russia with Love, Thunderball, You Only Live Twice, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Diamonds Are Forever, For Your Eyes Only, For Your Eyes Only, Never Say Never Again."

"Shut up!" Buzzy said.

"Uh, do you want something?" Ron asked cordially.

"Just want to drop by and tell you that Ian's Kim's boyfriend now, you dig?" Sam Matters said.

"Oh wow, that's quite a news flash. Now I don't have to spend my nights speculating, are they, aren't they?"

Opie pointed at him. "You don't think we know what you're doing. Guys like you can only get chicks using the Steve Urkel technique, you wear girls out of your league down until they give in. You got lucky once but you won't get a second chance, comprende?"

"Ah actually, no comprende. Did Ian send you?"

"No, we sent ourselves!" Buzzy countered.

"That uh….that doesn't really make sense."

"Look," Sam butted in, "I'm saying from now on you're staying away from Kim Possible."

"I am?"

"Yes you are, if you know what's good for you?"

Ron chortled.

"What's so funny?"

"I just remembered this one time a giant robot with laser beam eyes threw me right off the Hoover Dam….God that was, that was really wild...oh, were you saying something?"

"Just stay away from her ok!" Opie seethed.

"And you" Buzzy Parker then pointed at Ritchie, "you stop hanging around Bonnie."

Ritchie dropped the weights. "Did she say something about me?"

Ron turned to Ritchie. "You're hanging with Bonnie?"

Ritchie scoffed. "Bonnie's hanging out with me"

_Crickets_

"Anyway, I think it's time Bonnie got on a ride at my amusement park, know what I mean?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with that euphemism at all," Ritchie answered.

"Just stop geeking around her ok, she's going to be with me from now on."

Ritchie blinked. "And she told you this?"

"No, she doesn't now about it yet. What's it to you?"

"Buzzy, I love you man, but you're a knuckle dragger. You're a Neanderthal. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're an uncivilized barbarian not unlike the raiding Huns of the Greco-Roman era. I think Bonnie's moved beyond that type of guy."

"Uh Ritchie, Ron's the one with the kung fu force powers that comes and goes remember?" Phil blurted out.

Buzzy's nose flared with anger. He started to move towards Ritchie but Ron stepped in his path.

"Sorry about that, reflexes, you know the saving the world gig."

Buzzy waited for Ron to move out of his way but the blond didn't budge.

"Come on Buzz, let's get out of here." Opie, Jimmy and Sam where already at the door. Buzzy grunted and turned his back to Ron.

"Just remember what we said." With that the Middleton Tigers infield departed.

"That was strange," Ron remarked.

Ritchie sidled up beside him. "Thanks for the help back there but I could have handled him."

"Of course," Ron began to whisper. "Listen, what's this about you hanging with Bonnie. You know Bonnie hates me right?"

"Well actually, she mostly hates Kim, and I'm just going to come out and say it, I'm not really too fond of Kim either."

"Why? Why do you care? Why is it your business who I go out with?"

"Because I've seen this before and it always ends the same. You've deluded yourself into believing this love and destiny garbage."

"What do you know about how I feel? You've never been in love."

"What do I know," Ritchie said incredulously. "Oh I know, do you think you're the only one who's ever thought they had a deep significant connection with someone they grew up with, huh? Let me tell you a story about a guy who had a crush on his friend for years ok, then one day on his sixteenth birthday the idiot reveals his feelings to her. She tells him, get this, 'cool' and they make out underneath the school bleachers for like hours the day before she leaves for summer camp. Oh, and it's magic, it's pure bliss, you with me so far? He's on cloud nine, he's living it up, and he's drowning in love. He's writing poems about her while she's at camp, they're exchanging letters all that good stuff. Now here comes the best part. She comes back from camp right and she goes 'guess what, I met someone at camp Ritchie, he makes me laugh just like you do Ritchie, he listens when I babble about nothing just like you do Ritchie, he's just like you Ritchie except he's not YOU Ritchie'. And you know what Ritchie says? 'Ok, whatever makes you happy Christine' and then Ritchie locks himself in his room for his entire junior year reading comics, encyclopedias about useless facts, and his sister's fashion magazines."

"I didn't know…."

"Why do you think I know a bunch of useless crap. Look at what I'm wearing, does it look like I care about fashion? They're my Johnny Walker Blue, if there were AA meetings for comics and fashion magazines, I'd be there. But I'm hooked on them because a few years ago my good friend chewed me up like tobacco and spit me out into the devil's fireplace."

"But…but you said you were never in love, you always said love was for suckers."

"Oh excuse me for not wanting to dwell on some silly everlasting pain!" Ritchie stopped his rant everyone in the store was now staring at them. The conversation had started with whispers but didn't stay that way.

"Crap."

"Ritchie I…."

"It's ok….I'm going to go for a walk, ok?"

Ritchie stumbled towards the door and pushed through them.

"Poor son of a gun," tsked a random customer to no in particular. "Like my pa always said, if love was the answer, someone needs to rephrase the question," the customer quipped nonchalantly before returning to the comic stacks.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

To say that Jimmy Hughes was rich was an understatement. For one thing, his mansion had a name, Rosewood, and it was built on a hill that once contained dozens of $400,000 homes which developers tore down to build a few two million dollar mansions. Rosewood was an 8,000 square foot architectural mess that happened to be presently populated with a few of the biggest names in sports.

Ian pointed out the more important figures to Kim as they waded through the party-goers. "Holy….that's Jake Snyder, he's a Hall of Famer." Ian waved enthusiastically at the old ball player who acknowledged him with a slight nod of his head.

"Look over there," Ian exclaimed when another celebrity caught his eye, "there's Todd Waters, sixth on the all time winnings list for coaches."

"How does Jimmy's father know all these people?" Kim asked.

"His dad's a pretty famous sports writer."

Someone whistled and Ian whipped his head towards the familiar sound. "Hey, there's the coach." He grabbed Kim's hand and lead her to the other side of the room.

The Middleton Tigers coach greeted Ian with a smile and a handshake. "Ian, I'd like you to meet someone." He turned and introduced Ian to a slick looking man in an expensive suit.

"Ah Ian Rogers, thirteen and two in your last fifteen games, one point seventy six E.R.A, sixty five strike outs, six walks."

Ian was dumbfounded. "David Boras. It's an honor."

"No, the honor's all mine. It's a rare thing to meet a future number one pick."

Ian's eyes widened. "Me, number one pick?"

The agent grinned. "Well I'm not a psychic but all signs are pointing to yes."

"Mr. Boras was just telling me how half the teams in the league won't have a bona-fide ace in their club in the next two years," the coach relayed.

"I, I, I..." Ian's was at a lost for words until he remembered that he wasn't alone. "Oh right, I'm sorry I didn't introduce you. This is Kim Possible. Kim, this is David Boras and you know the coach."

Kim greeted them both.

"Kim Possible, teen hero Kim Possible?"

"Yes well, my _teen_ hero days are behind me unfortunately," she smiled. "I'm sorry but can you excuse me for a moment." Kim walked away, leaving Ian alone to talk privately.

"Nice catch, looks like you don't just have a sense for pitching," Boras told him.

"Huh? Oh Kim yeah, she's um, she's great."

David placed his hands on Ian's shoulder. "Let's go talk somewhere a little quieter alright?"

"Sure."

"Ian, what do you think about New York?"

Ian gulped. "I love New York, always have. I have a Woody Allen DVD collection."

David smiled again. "Good, good."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"No."

Kim snapped her phone shut. Trying to apologize to Ron while she was at the party was not a good idea. She had been leaving messages all day but he never returned her calls.

A caterer ambled around the room carrying a plate of noshes; Kim snatched a few pieces and popped them into her mouth. They were delicious but she had tasted better. At Nana Possible's birthday party three years ago, Ron had made some noshes that were still talked about whenever the family got together.

Maybe she should call again. No, it would just make things worse.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Kim almost jumped out of her heels when Ian snuck up beside her. "Oh nothing. How was….whatever was going on?"

"Oh it was great, it was most excellent," he replied. It took everything he had not to divulge any 'classified' information. "I…" he studied her face, "are you sure you're ok? You've been a little off all day."

She sighed. "Oh, it's just this problem that's been gnawing at me since yesterday."

"A problem?"

Kim reacted quickly. There was no reason to screw up someone else's day. "Oh, it's of those moral problems from advanced philosophy class. Professor Hardinsburg's essay reports, you know how it is."

He nodded. "Oh one of those….God, philosophy class what a beast. Well from my experience, sometimes it's pretty hard to find a right and wrong answer in morality questions unless the answers in your face."

"Right."

"So just go with your heart."

"Hmmmm?"

"My dad used to say, in life, if you don't really know the answers to the important questions, just go with your heart. You close your eyes, you close your mind and you open your heart." He turned to Kim. "Give it a try."

"What?"

"Come on, just try it."

"Ok." She closed her eyes.

"Now think about your problem."

"Ok."

Ian smiled leaned in and kissed her on the lips. Kim's eyes popped open filled with surprise.

"_Order, order." Power Suit Kim banged a gavel on the podium. She stood before an audience of dozens of rabble-rousing Kims. They were all arguing and bickering at the same time._

"_Listen to me dammit," Power Suit Kim tried to shout over the roar of the crowd._

"_The kiss was gorchy!" Someone called out from the back._

_PS Kim turned to Logical Kim, who was fidgeting next to the podium. "What the hell is going on?"_

"_I'm not sure what's going on. But the general vibe I'm getting is that Ron's a better kisser."_

"_Well duh! We knew that already, but why the heck is everything going……. to heck?" _

"_I don't know," Logical Kim stated._

_Power Suit Kim grabbed her by the collar. "You're supposed to be here for me! I know Hulk K gets out of hand every once in awhile but the rest of them….you're supposed to help me control them."_

_The crowd went quiet as the mass of Kim's suddenly parted down the middle like the red sea. A new Kim emerged, this Kim had her hair tied back and she wore a light blue dress. _

_Junior Prom Kim stepped forward and marched towards the podium._

"_Who the hell is that?" Power suit Kim asked._

"_Oh boy," Logical Kim shivered as Jr. Prom Kim closed the distance between them._

"_Everyone's backing away from her? Do something LK!" _

_Logical Kim glanced up at PSK as if she had gone mad. "Are you nuts, I'm powerless against her. You're on your own with this one."_

_Power Suit Kim watched in amazement as LK bolted away from her. PSK moved away from the podium and returned her attention to Jr. Prom Kim. _

"_Listen you, whoever you are, you've no right to disrupt a good thing…."_

_The audience gasped when Junior Prom Kim crashed a giant right hook into PSK's jaw and caused her to fall on her backside._

_Jr. Prom Kim looked down at PSK, who had nothing but fury in her eyes. "Idiot." _

To Ian's surprise Kim abruptly pulled away from the kiss, which unbeknownst to them had been perfectly captured on the cell phone of a party guest who happened to be a member of the Kappa Sweethearts.

"Did I do something wrong?" Ian stuttered.

"No…..I think I'm coming down with a cold and I don't want you to, um, get it."

He stared at her curiously. "Ok."

She sighed in relief.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"PLEASE IMPART ONTO ME YOUR VAST WISDOM KAPPA QUEEN ALMIGHTY BONNIE!"

The pledge knelt before Bonnie's 'throne' as four members of the sorority stood directly behind her awaiting Bonnie's ruling.

Bonnie stood up. "So you say you went on a date with Larry Munch and he was inappropriate?"

"THE DATE WAS FINE UNTIL HE GOT ALL DATE RAPEY KAPPA QUEEN ALMIGHTY BONNIE. IF A GROUP OF PEOPLE HADN"T SHOWN UP WHO KNOWS WHAT MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED!"

"I understand, Mommy Longstoke."

One of the four girls stepped forward. "Yes Kappa Queen Almighty Bonnie!"

"Who's the biggest gossip on campus?"

"That would be Sherry Doyle, Kappa Queen Almighty Bonnie!"

"Of course, please inform Sherry, discreetly of course, that a good source who works at the free clinic downtown spotted a Larry Munch being treated for gonorrhea that he had apparently gotten from a middle-aged female impersonator who walks the streets near the highway."

"Consider it done Kappa Queen Almighty Bonnie!" The girl stepped back in line.

"Let it be known that as long as I am Queen even Kappa pledges will be treated with the utmost respect."

The pledge stood up. "OH THANK YOU KAPPA QUEEN ALMIGHTY BONNIE!"

Bonnie smiled. "Queen Bonnie will always protect her sisters. Now Kappa's dismissed."

"KAPPAS MEOOOOOWWWWWW." Every girl in the room snapped their fingers in the air three times.

When all her sister were gone, Bonnie reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. During the ruling, her phone vibrated at least five times, whoever was calling her was persistent.

She flipped her phone open and checked her messages.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"If life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten, And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing. When you're feeling in the dumps, don't be silly chumps. Just purse your lips and whistle. That's the thing. And..."

Ritchie hummed along with the stereo as he pushed his body past limits it hadn't been through in years. "61, 62, 63, 63,"

"Always look on the bright side of life.

whistling

Always look on the right side of life"

whistling

A light broke through the darkness of the room when Ron head poked his head from behind the bedroom door.

"Hey."

Ritchie stopped, or more specifically collapsed, in an exhaustive heap on the floor.

"What do you want?"

"What are you doing?"

Ritchie rolled onto his back and glowered at Ron.

"Oh right, push ups." Ron entered the room and closed the door behind him. "Bonnie's got you in deep."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Right."

"You know, I used to be really skinny before the 'incident'. Then Cherry Garcia caught me on the rebound."

"So how are you holding up…?"

"Don't worry about that, it's already repressed. Deep, deep down this time, it might not resurface for another twenty years if I'm lucky."

Ron snatched a game box off of Ritchie's nightstand and studied the cover. "So you're cool?"

"Yeah I'm cool, thanks for asking." Ritchie took a moment to steady his breath. "Are you cool?"

"Me?"

"No, I was talking to the Jessica Alba poster on the wall. Yes you."

"I'm…….surprisingly ok."

"Really?"

"Yeah…." Ron looked back down at the game box. "Listen, here's a hypothetical question. There's this video game tournament, right? And you get invited ok? It's the first time you've ever been at this tournament, you've never been close to anything like it in your life ok….it's overwhelming…..now you go into this tournament, thinking you know the rules of the game, you've seen it played on T.V, people sing about it on the radio, and you've read about it in books, you've got an idea how the game is played. So you go into the tournament and you're in over your head. You lose, fall flat on your face. Now, on your way out someone tells you weren't playing the game right at all, every strategy every tatic you used was wrong. And maybe you never really had a clue what the game was all about in the first place."

"Where's the question? I thought this was a hypothetical _question_?"

"Ok I guess it really wasn't a question at all."

"That was the stupidest hypothetical statement I've ever heard. Anyway I'd be upset at first but then I'd take the loss and move on to the next tournament."

"But this might have been the tournament of a lifetime, you may never want to be in another tournament for the rest of your life. What if you just blew the tournament of your dreams, do you just walk away from that with a smile and the experience?" He stopped "Or maybe, you were just so amped to make it to the tournament you thought it was bigger than it really was "

Ritchie blew out a breath. "We're not talking about a video game tournament anymore, are we?"

Ron fell silent. "No I guess not….listen, I'm going to go." Ron opened the door. "Oh and good luck with the BonBon thing."

"Listen Ron what are you doing later, maybe we can hang, swap war stories, have some sort of platonic bonding moment."

"Nah I got to study."

"Study?"

"Yea I'm kind of like five weeks behind in this class... so I thought it might be time to get started on that...besides when you're worrying about school, you're not worrying about anything else."

"Good point, later"

Once Ron was gone, Ritchie rolled back onto his belly and reached under his bed for his cell phone. He ran through his latest messages until he found the one titled B. Rockwaller.

**Checkmate LOL ;)**

Beneath the message was a pretty clear photo of Kim lip locking with her current boyfriend.

Should I, shouldn't I. The words bounced around in his head, giving him a terrible migraine.

"Ah crap what do I do?"

* * *

A/N Ok a few new developments, hope you guys enjoyed. Expanded a bit on the Kim sitch I'd like your opinions on that (A fear it may confuse some), added a few antagonists to the story, developed Ron a little. Hopefully the story continues to be consistent. Oh and FYI this current flashback is not the main cause of Kim's problems it's just another cog in the machine. I hope I didn't get too heavy handed on the "emotions" bit either. 

So I hoped you enjoyed it. I always appreciate any kind of feedback I get with this story. Oh the next chapter should contain the breakup in all it's detailed glory thus ending the flashback sequences so you can look forward to that

And this story is now a part into my three month plan. (It's almsot over folks) By Halloween I'm hoping to complete at least three of my stories.


	8. Every Rose has its thorns

A/N Ok I said I wanted to try and get this story done before Halloween and I might still be able to do that folks ;)

1) Season 4 really took a bat to this story (Clean Slate, Homecoming Upset and Graduation especially)

2) I want to say as a fan of K/R it's hard to highlight a few of Kim and Ron's faults and write about them. And it's likely just as hard to read about them.

I'm saying this because I know some of you may be a bit peeved (or may not be) with me after this chapter. All I can say is trust me. (Or read my fluffier fics Gessperken, Wedding Bells, Alot like Love)

Oh and this chapter has a STRONG T rating by that I mean its a borderline M in some parts (not the whole thing) I know certain mature themes don't mix well with the KPverse (this story has alot if you've looked closely) but somehow this is my most popular fic. I never expected this story to be so successful, I still don't get it but apparently you do.

* * *

"So you wanted to see me professor?" Ron fidgeted in the tiny seat before his creative writing Professor's desk. The professor stopped scribbling on the many scraps of paper on his desk, put his red marker down and looked up at Ron. 

"Mr. Stoppable, I want to talk to you about your writing"

Ron nodded to himself "yes I know I was just waiting for the end of the week to quit. I apologize, I've wasted your time, I've wasted my time and I've wasted the resources of this fine University. If I could give back the little bit of information I managed to absorb in this class I would…"

"It's good"

"I…..what?"

The professor reached into his desk and pulled out a folder "Mr. Stoppable have you heard of lad-lit."

"Lad-lit?" Ron couldn't help but feel nervous as he watched the authority figure behind the desk skimming through the contents of the folder.

"The male riposte to "chick lit." The professor announced without looking up from the folder.

"Chick-lit?"

A heavy sigh filled the room "Lad-lit is a literary genre that features books written by men and focusing on young, male characters…."

"Oh."

"Who are typically sardonic, clever, unapologetic slackers who refuse to grow up, get a meaningful job, commit to relationships, or find any meaning in life."

"Really?"

"They can also involve those who are selfish, insensitive, etc etc."

"What is uh, what does this have to do with me?"

"I was looking at the short story you handed in the other day; the one about the directionless loser, the one who muses about life the morning after he had his heart viciously torn in twain by the girl of his dreams."

"I wouldn't say it was torn in twin" Ron shifted in his seat and cleared his throat "Or that the main character was a directionless loser."

"The story has a naive, yet sophisticated outlook on life. It's shallow but deep. The writing is simplistic and crude yet it has an abstract complexity that observant readers can discover and lose themselves in."

Ron couldn't tell if he was being praised or insulted. "What?"

"Son normally I wouldn't advise someone to enter a dead genre, but I think you may be the one to revive. Your writing is good and you've got the name to back it up."

"The name?"

"Yes Ron Stoppable, of Team Possible. I've looked into your background a bit and it is the American dream, an average young man who reaches for and attains impossible goals."

"See I don't really see myself as average."

"Your GPA tells a different story."

Ron realizing he had no comeback for that simply said "right"

"The Joe next door who helped saved the world and got the girl of his dreams."

"Actually I kind of lost the girl"

The professor shrugged "Whatever. Look kid, you've got some talent. You're in touch with your inner geek, so you have a feel, an insight for today's young male."

Ron leaned forward "so" he ran his hands together "you're saying I can be a writer?"

"Anyone can be a writer…but you have the potential to be a good writer."

Ron chuckled "potential, I have been hearing that all my life" a thought popped into his head "but honestly I didn't really write anything, I just used what I was feeling at the time in some way that sounded halfway decent on paper."

The professor "yes that is what some civilized people would call writing."

'But I didn't make anything up! I didn't create anything!"

His professor picked a coffee cup off the table and took a sip from it "many fiction writers have traditionally, incorporated their feelings or experiences into their writing. And by traditionally I mean since the first story was written;"

Ron shook his head "this whole sitch is coming out of nowhere."

The professor pulled a sheet from the folder and handed it to Ron "there's a short story contest I think you might want to take a look at. The deadline is in three months I think you should take a shot at it."

Ron grabbed the pamphlet "you think I can win?"

"Sure why not?"

Ron leaned back in his chair "is this some kind of practical joke?" Abruptly his cell phone vibrated, he snatched it from his the pocket and flipped it open.

"If anything I see you've mastered social, cell phone etiquette."

"Sorry I always have to check, just in case" he gazed down at his phone, seemingly reading whatever message was on the screen for a moment before slamming it shut and shoving it back into his pocket.

"Emergency?"

Ron looked down at the ground "No"

"Family?"

"Nada"

"Wife?"

"Um, no"

The Professor picked up his coffee mug and took another swig "Mistress?"

"What?" Ron squeaked

"I'm just joking"

Ron grimaced as his teacher chuckled to himself.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Listen Ian I'm sorry, this is the way it has to be…no, now is not a good time to talk about this."

Click

Kim walked away from the phone on her nightstand and took a seat on her bed in the lotus position.

_Things were getting out of hand. Problems were arising every day; her life was spiraling out of control_.

_Melodramatic much Kim?_

She had to sit down and think this through, review her mistakes and give all these problems a full scope of attention.

_First things first the breakup_

"**Don't look at me like that" Kim said sternly **

"**Like what?" he protested**

"**Like this" She made a ridiculous face that under different circumstances Ron would have found it widely amusing. Kim continued "like I'm doing this intentionally to spite you."**

"**Oh" Ron ran his hands across his face "allow me to adjust my look accordingly" He stopped his hands "oh darn I can't seem to pull off betrayal."**

"**No one's betraying anyone here." Kim began pacing about nervously "I know this is hard for you but it's hard for me to. This whole mess has turned things upside down, I thought about this for a long time and I talked to my mom and Monique….."**

"**And not me, no let's not mention this to the B.F" Ron said sharply "I do enjoy the occasional surprise but I prefer my surprises of the birthday variety."**

**Kim closed her eyes. "Ron I think --------**

**---------A moment after her parachute had deployed Kim swiftly adjusted her body to resist the air. **

**She shook her head. A flying castle, what would Dementor think of next, she wondered while she checked her watch for the time.**

"**Ron!" She called out over the roar of the wind. **

**He maneuvered or struggled to maneuver his parachute so he could get closer to her. "What?" **

"**We might make it in time for the Chi Alpha volunteer's meeting!" She heard him groan "what, what's the matter?!" she shouted at him.**

"**Your friends in the club, I don't think they like me very much! Every time we leave the room I can imagine them saying "oh Kim and her back luck with men if only she could find a normal boyfriend"**

**Kim paused for a moment to let this sink in "who cares what they think normal is overrated!" **

"**It's easy for a normal person to say that!" Ron told her**

"**Hey I'm not that normal either" she responded **

**Ron smiled "Come again?"**

"**Look I just infiltrated a castle built on clouds and forced a vacuum that sucks oxygen from the atmosphere to self destruct, while I dodged mechanical hippos with laser feet…..That's not normal by anyone's standards."**

"**That's not that big of a deal!" Ron replied **

"**Are you serious?" she asked incredulously.**

"**If I was going to explain your weirdness I would have mentioned the marshmallows on the hotdogs"**

"**And what's wrong with marshmallows on hotdogs?"**

"**Nothing" he laughed "it's just weird" he fiddled with the parachute cord a bit "luckily for you I like weird!"**

**She couldn't help but chuckle.**

Kim vigorously shook her head about. She had no idea what the heck had just happened. Was it even possible for one memory to suddenly be interrupted by another? Like a memory news flash?

"Ok Kim focus" She closed her eyes and brought herself back

"**This is how it ends" Ron threw his hands up in the air "hey it's been fun but thems the breaks we'll always have Buno Nacho"**

"**That's not what I said"**

"**Well that's pretty much how I took it." He stopped "Did you find somebody else?"**

**She rolled her eyes "no"**

"**Does he make you laugh? Is he funny? Is he funnier than me? Why would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who's not funny?"**

"**I haven't met anyone. Ron please listen to what I'm saying…the best thing for us is to save what we have le------------**

"**Oh God heeeeellllp meeeeeee" Kim slurred as she placed her head beside her toilet bowl.**

**The door to her bathroom opened and she caught sight of Ron through the corner of her eyes "Kim I tired to warn you about cooking that shrimp."**

"**Why are you…..not…..sick?" she asked**

**Ron's gaze fell downwards "Kim I'm going to be honest it was a beautiful dinner you made. But I didn't eat the shrimp….I…I didn't know it at the time but I must have sensed the danger."**

"**Too much…..think I'm going…to die….."**

"**You're not going to die. You're Kim Possible; a couple of badly cooked shrimp won't bring down the great Kim Possible"**

**She placed her head over the bowl and let loose.**

**Ron grimaced "oh man, you don't smell something like that every day"**

"**Ron, hair" she moaned.**

**He gently pulled her hair away from her face, holding it lightly above her head while she vomited into the toilet. "Yeah I forgot, you do like your hair being pulled."**

"**You idiot" her giggles were cut short by a brief bout of projectile vomiting. **

"**Oh, ok" he gently stoked her back "it's going to be alright, it should only be three to five give or take. I think I'll sleep over tonight, keep an eye on you."**

"**Thank…….you" she sputtered.**

"**Don't worry KP, I've got you back remember…….. or your hair in this case."**

Kim ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "What is going on?"

That last interruption wasn't even as romantic as the first one.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I don't understand! Why didn't you show him the picture?"

Ritchie tore his eyes from the television screen, placed his controller on the ground and brought his attention to the brunette.

"Bonnie what are you doing in my house?"

"House?" She said indignantly "this isn't a house it's a pigs den!"

Ritchie scoffed "Pigs don't live in dens, they live in sties."

Bonnie pounded her fist into her open palm "I thought we had a deal."

"First let me ask you something. What are we going to do about all the sexual tension between us?

She kicked his controller across the room in a fit of anger

"Dang" he let out a breath "alright I'm going to be honest I've had an epiphany."

"An epiphany?"

"Yes an epiphany about the honorable and purely heterosexual bond between male friends. For example when one sees a friend who's in love with a less than attractive gal, you say sure she's a hideous beast, but she makes him happy. Ron if he chooses to return to Kim, will have a girlfriend who tortures him with mind games. But he's happy right? So who am I to judge?"

Bonnie was speechless.

"It's a guy thing" he added. "Friendship, honor, brotherhood and all that good stuff."

"Listen" she bent over at the waist and he stared into her eyes. Those sad beautiful that were peaking out from behind the V neckline of her shirt. "You know I deleted the pic from my phone so you have the only copy. And now you're telling me you don't want to show it to Ron. That is really naughty."

Ritchie gulped.

"Naughty boys need to be punished."

"Is that a threat or a promise?" he murmured.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and took a seat on his lap "it depends; you didn't delete the pic did you?"

Ritchie shook his head "no"

"That's good." She replied sweetly

"Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Is it working?" she asked

He nodded "yes, very much so."

She squeezed his face between her hands and pulled it close to hers "so you'll reconsider."

He hesitated "sorry Christine but you broke my heart."

"Christine? Who the heck is Christine" Bonnie said.

Ritchie went through a rapid successions of blinks "no, Bonnie, yea Bonnie" he inhaled loudly and exhaled "Dang I'm flashbacking, anyway sorry babe bros before----

She interrupted him by placing a finger on his lips "shhhhh" she whispered into his ear "too bad I would have rocked your world."

"Oh sweet temptation" Ritchie mumbled as Bonnie helped herself of his lap.

"I guess that's that, toodles" she waved good bye to him and rushed out the door.

Ritchie sat motionless on the couch "curse you Ron Stoppable."

"What was that about?"

"Felix is that you?" Ritchie called out

"What was Bonnie doing here?"

"Give me a minute to recover Felix" Ritchie let out a deep breath "One minute to recover and regret and I'll be right with you."

He eventually moved approximately four minutes later and carefully explained the picture and Bonnie's unexpected visitation

"Geez if Ron sees that pic he'll be crushed."

"Yeah I was just about to….." he reached into his pocket. "Oh no. oh no"

"What's wrong?"

Ritchie jumped up to his feet and continued to pat his pockets "Oh no, oh no she stole my phone."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hi Ron' Allison rushed across street and greeted him a quick hug. "Good to see you again"

"I uh got your email." Ron took a moment to take in her entire visual effect. She was wearing a blue long sleeved T-shirt with black knee length skirt and trainers."

"So uh you live around here?"

"Yeah" she pointed towards a park entrance at the end of the block "on the other side of the park…..I didn't think you would make it."

When he first saw the message he didn't think he would have made it either. Yet here he was.

"You look great" he said "I didn't realize you were going to dress up, otherwise I'd have you know" he gestured at his own clothes "not looked like me."

"You look great" she said "I like you're look, it's natural and down to earth."

"Thanks" he replied

"I live in jeans and T's mostly but I thought I do something different today. A little change every now and then doesn't hurt."

"Change is good" Ron exclaimed. "So" he leaned forward on his tiptoes "What are we doing?"

"What are the choices?" she asked.

This caught Ron off guard and he said the first thing that came to mind "bowling"

She frowned and her nose wrinkled in an adorable way "Bowling, I'm sorry that's not my cup of tea"

"What is your cup of tea then?"

"Lipton"

It took a moment for Ron to realize that she was joking "oh Lipton, I get it."

"It wasn't funny." She sighed

"No, no uh it was, um it was cute."

"You're sweet" she cooed "that's one of the things I like about you."

"Like about me" he repeated back to her like a parrot.

She nodded "you're a complex guy Ron, I like that."

Ron waved it off "no, I'm not."

"Yes you are there's actually two Ron's. The social Ron who's funny, irrelevant and irreverent in a down to earth kind of way, and there's serious Ron who's always embarrassed like he's in a permanent state of awkwardness."

Ron had no reply for this.

"Walk and talk" she suggested.

"Yeah that sounds ok."

So they walked and talked, not in that particular order. Lost in various bits of conversation they were unaware when a full thirty minutes had gone by

"Ok granted I am Jewish but it just seems a little weird that the pope has a bullet proof car. I mean if this guy is afraid of death what does that mean for the rest of us? Maybe it's just me but I think every pope should start every mass saying "today's a good day to die."

She grinned "you're a weird individual you know that"

"Ok now that you've discovered the real me, are you happy with the results."

She nudged him playfully. "So far so good"

Ron slowed down his pace, allowing Allison to walk slightly ahead of him "listen the other day at the café I never thanked you properly for the advice you gave me." He said to the back of her head

She didn't turn around "so you've taken my advice to heart?"

"Well I've been really thinking about it a lot." Ron stopped moving when he felt his phone vibrate. He pulled his phone from his pocket and checked his incoming messages, after a few button pushes a picture flashed up on his screen.

"What's the matter?" Allison asked after watching Ron stare silently at the phone screen for over a minute

"Nothing, nothing' he snapped the phone shut "I just got some weird junk mail."

"I hate those"

Ron pocketed the phone "yeah this one was pretty bad…..what were we talking about?"

"My advice"

"Oh right' they continued walking "it was good stuff you should um start a relationship column like Dear Abby or something."

"I read her columns all the time"

"Yea" Ron muttered his attention barely on the conversation.

"There was an interesting letter last week. This girl, the one who wrote the letter she was interested in this guy, and she'd been dropping serious hints but he doesn't seem to notice.'

"Right" Ron said quickly

"She'd never met anyone like him before. He's unique, and he makes her laugh. But she can tell by looking in his eyes that he doesn't really see her. She doesn't have his full attention."

"That's rough" Ron remarked. .

"Yea this guy was pretty oblivious, so Abbey advised her to make a push, risk it all on one big move."

"That's good advice. I would have never thought…' Allison suddenly stopped walking "is something wrong?" he asked

She gestured with her head to the large modern looking apartment building that they were currently standing in front of "this is me."

"Oh" Ron glanced at her building "nice"

"You want to come up?" she asked

"Up where" he answered

She pointed to a window on the top floors "Up'

"Oh _up_. Up, up, up, up, up, up," he repeated rapidly

"So?"

"I don't drink coffee" he confessed suddenly "It doesn't agree with my system, makes me too hyper"

"I didn't say anything about coffee." She said in a serious tone that he hadn't heard from her before.

_Oh God_ Ron gulped, after that he coughed nervously, and then he kicked a stone with his foot "this is a bit….what I'm saying is…listen you know that…..I'm in a "situation"….I because….Lord knows if…the thing is…….Kim." As if on cue the horrific image of Kim kissing Ian flashed through his mind

Allison grabbed his hand "listen I don't care about tomorrow whatever it may bring, today is all I care about. Today is all I need."

_Humina, Humina, Humina. _

"I…." His reply was cut off as she kissed him deeply and with enough passion to fulfill two lifetimes

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kim lay silently in bed her eyes fixed on her ceiling fan as it swooshed overhead

"Ok, the break-up let's go."

"**I'm saying that even that right now things are going well right now. We're fighting more and more and it's getting to be more than we can handle I've always tried to do what's best for us, and what is best is to split up for aw—**

"**Fine, you want to break up fine. I'm not going to hold you back alright."**

"**Ron your were not holding me back" She saw that his eyes were brimming with tears and it made her want to cry to "You've never held me back" the dam had burst her eyes were starting to overflow**

"**Is there anything I can do, anything at all that can change your mind…………**

"**Ron, Ron…wake up!"**

"**KP" she watched as his eyes fluttered open "is it time for class already?"**

"**Nope today is Saturday."**

**He peeked at the clock on the night stand "So why am I awake before noon, and…..Why, are you standing on the bed?"**

**She stood over him wearing only his jersey and boy shorts "because today is a very special. Today you are no longer a teen; you've been on earth for twenty years my brown eyed boy. She started to dance on the bed stepping carefully around his body "**_**My brown eyed boy, yoooooou my brown eyed boy! Do you remember when we used to sing, Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da**_**"**

"**Kim, are you ok?"**

"**I'm great" she laughed before continuing to sing "**_**So hard to find my way, now that I'm all on my own. I saw you just the other day**_**"**

"**Um what's going on?**

"_**My how you have grown, Cast my memory back there, Lord Sometime I'm overcome thinking 'bout Making love in the green grass**_**" she pointed and wiggled her hips at him "**_**behind the stadium with you**_**"**

"**This is uh, this a bit strange even for me**

**She stopped "Oh so I see, Kim's not allowed to be spontaneous and random. Ron always has to be the whacky one" She dropped to all fours before him "Hey do you want to know why I'm so happy?"**

"**Yes" **

"**Do you really want to know?"**

"**Sure"**

"**Because……. **_**you're my brown eyed boy**__**. You my brown eyed boy**_**" She pushed an imaginary microphone to his face "**_**Do you remember when we used to sing….**_

**Ron shrugged and leaned into the faux mic "**_**Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da**_**"**

"**Yea!" she exclaimed "**_**Just **__**like that! Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da**_**! All together!"**

"_**Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da" **_**They sang in unison right before she collapsed onto him in a fit of giggles and laughter. "Happy b-day Ron what do you want to do today?"**

**He laughed "I don't know I'm still trying to recover from what just happened…….but no matter what happens for the rest of day I'm never going to forget this morning that's for sure."**

"**Good" she snuggled into him "make sure you don't."**

**He gave her a peck on the forehead "I love the song but technically my eyes are hazel." **

Kim Possible lay motionless on her bed, her eyes were fixed on the ceiling, and she couldn't stop herself from smiling even if she tried.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Something is wrong_

_Something is really wrong_

_Something is really freaking wrong!_

"Wait a minute, wait a minute" Ron blurted out. "I can't do this."

"Sure you can" Allison purred "it's like riding a bike once you've done it once you can't really forget how."

"No I mean I _can't_.'

"Huh?" Allison eased her weight off him. She was now down to her bra. "What's wrong?"

"_It's_ wrong?"

"_It_?"

'_It_" he pointed silently

"Oh, OH" she pulled herself off of him "maybe there something I can do….it's not really my favorite thing but I can…."

Ron grabbed her by the shoulders before she could descend any lower "listen I know my body, since I was twelve sometimes all it took was a stiff breeze; no pun intended; for the magic to happen."

"Are you sure?"

"A guy couldn't ask for a better wake up call than that…but it's…" He was unable to hide the panic in his voice "there's nothing going on down there seriously."

"I….." she was momentarily at a lost for words "its ok these things happen."

Ron rolled out of the bed, landed hard on the floor and reached for the shirt he had tossed on the ground "These things don't happen to me….at least not until today , had to happen today….." he said dejectedly.

He slipped his shirt on "listen I'm just going to go, I'm mean I'm used to embarrassment but this, this…oh this is number one, all time."

Allison seemed disheartened "Was it something I did wrong?" she asked

Ron quickly slipped on his shoes "no, no you're great, you're beautiful, you're hot that's a definite. I…_it_ got way more attention than we deserved. I'm so sorry, I cannot apologize enough…I'm sorry……..goodbye."

He spun on his heels and sprinted out the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ian's eyes seemed to be glazed over. His face appeared pale and sullen as he stared off into space. A thunderous crash snapped him back to reality. Suddenly he was back at the stadium, on the mound, with the bases loaded, down eight to nothing in the third inning.

The thunderous clap had come from the audience, the noisemakers that he had learned to block out since he was in little league.

"Oh yeah I've got to pitch" Ian twirled the ball in his hand as he faced down the opposing batter. He wound up and let the pitch fly.

And boy did it fly…..like an obese bumblebee. It sailed over the plate and the batter hammered it easily. Ian watched powerless as the ball sailed out of the park.

Then the chorus of boos came. The coach came out soon after that.

"What are you doing you're not pitching like a future Yankee out here!" His coach shouted at him

"What's wrong with me sir?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong you're pitching like Ray Charles that's what's wrong!"

Ian shrugged "I mean I tried to be a good boyfriend, I gave her flowers, and candy and I did all the stuff good boyfriends are supposed to do."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Ian's body started to quiver "I….I…..I…..I…..I…don't know what to do anymore."

The coach was stunned "Are, are you crying? There's no crying in basebal-- Abruptly Ian latched onto him and began to blubber against his chest. "Oh lord have mercy" the coach sighed.

From the dugout Buzzy just shook his head sadly

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Dudes you can find anything on Youtube it's the greatest, I bet if you type in 'my death' on Youtube you'll see how you die in the future. You've got to come and see---" Phil's excitement was cut short when he entered the deathly silent living room.

He looked from Felix to Phil "it's like a funeral in here, what happened?"

Felix spoke up first "we're trying to think of away to deal with Ron when he shows up."

"Is something wrong?"

Ritchie ran his thumb and forefinger against his forehead "major drama"

"Again?" Phil said

Ritchie rubbed his hands together "Felix you think he got the picture."

Before Felix could answer the door swung open and a disheveled Ron sort of floated into the living room like a specter from the underworld.

Phil, winced "Man you look like Death on a bender"

Felix approached him "Ron I know it's tough, but we can get through this."

Ritchie jumped off the couch "dude it's all, my fault. But just give me the word and I will unleash unholy vengeance on that witch."

Phil wagged his right hand before Ron's face "dude, are you even alive right now?"

Not a word escaped Ron's lips as he brushed past his pals. He walked over to the couch and removed one of the cushions. Beneath it was a pile of bikini magazines; he snatched one and slowly flipped through it. When he reached the last page of the magazine he threw it over his shoulders and grabbed another one.

"I think he's lost his mind" Ritchie whispered to Felix.

When the last magazine had gone over his shoulder, Ron let out a solemn sigh. He turned to his friends. He stared at them with the eyes of a defeated man. "It doesn't work"

Weary glances were quickly exchanged between the three friends.

Ron threw up his hands "It doesn't work" he laughed crazily and walked out of the room.

Phil patted Felix on the shoulder "this looks like a job for the best friend"

A minute or so later Felix found Ron in his room hastily stuffing clothes into his backpack. "You're leaving?"

"I'm going to visit my mommy"

"Uh-huh, what do we attribute this latest regression to?"

Ron placed his face in hands "I went to see Allison today, I met up with her and we walked and talked. We were having a great time when suddenly I was standing before her apartment building. Oh wait I forgot before I realized we were in front of her place. I got this email of Kim lip smacking with Ian."

"That was from Bonnie, she sent you the picture if you didn't already know."

Ron's eyebrows furrowed "it doesn't really matter. What does is that picture….dude it completely through off my equilateral….."

"Equilibrium"

"Equilibrium that's what I said" Ron continued "So Allison invites me up. But at the moment all these emotions are running through me anger, sorrow, confusion, lust."

"Lust?"

"Oh yea, it was all about the lust when she kissed me." Ron looked back on the moment and reflected on it carefully "one second before that I was feeling like garbage because of the picture, and then the next second I'm getting kissed by this cute girl and the voice in my head is saying, to heck with the future don't lose this moment." He drew in a breath "the voice in my head tends exaggerate but it's a very persuasive speaker."

"Right"

Ron dropped his bag "thinking about it now, it was so selfish. I made that promise to Kim but I let a picture get me so angry that I would have done something so totally wrong, that it wouldn't have only hurt Kim but it had a good chance of hurting Allison too. Because I wanted to feel good, I wanted to get lost in the moment. Lost in my moment, it was all about what I wanted, my amusement. Like with the poofy hair, the naco royalties, the Bueno Nacho Job, the muscles, the school paper gig, and the list goes on and on."

Felix remained silent as Ron rambled.

"I would have done it Felix, I would have done it and it would have been great and I would have felt like crap afterwards, but I would have done it."

Felix's eyebrow rose "I must be missing something here. You would have done it?"

Ron threw his bag over his shoulders "oh yea this crisis I'm having. It's not because of what I did, it mostly because of what I couldn't do."

"Uh I'm not following."

Ron shut the door of his room, pulled down his window blinds, bowed his head in shame and carefully explained to Felix his horrific tale of woe.

A look of horror crept across Felix's face "Dude…..duuuuuuddddddddeeee….Were you nervous?"

"Don't play me Felix" Ron said sulkily "I'm always nervous, there hasn't been one time where I wasn't nervous. And usually all it took was a smile from Kim and I was good."

"Did you drink?"

"No but recently I've been thinking about taking it up as a hobby."

"Hmmm you know it's uh a common problem with some guys."

Ron waved him off "Felix don't ……this used to be the one constant in my life. God forbid I lost Kim, lost my family, lost all my friends and I was out on the street homeless, as a man I thought I could always say at least I have that……I can't say that anymore Felix and it's obvious that I have psychological issues. I mean less than an hour ago I was about to do something ridiculously selfish, I've been dumped twice in the last year, my GPA is hovering around two and God willing I do graduate I have no idea what I'm going to do after school. I've got problems Felix and I need my mommy….mother."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I can't seem to focus" Kim was sill in bed or more specifically the lower half of her body was on the bed. The upper half of her body was hanging off the edge.

"I should totally give it one more shot" She froze "why am I taking to myself?"

"**Maybe you're right" he nodded "maybe…." He bit his lip "we're obviously not on the same wavelength at this point so we might be better off." he swiped at his eyes with his sleeve. **

**Silence**

**She stood before him her head swimming with thoughts "are you sure you're ok?"**

**Ron placed his hands in his pockets and swayed from left to right "I'm fine, I'm totally fine." Under his breath she heard him mutter "I guess some things just aren't meant to be…………**

**The smoke of the fireworks filled the air and clung to the ground like a fog. Kim lay down on the moist grass with Ron beside her. They stared up at the night sky even though the fourth of July fireworks show had ended more than fifteen minutes ago.**

"**July fourth…..A few more weeks and we're college bound KP"**

"**True" she let out a content sigh "Ron what would you do if we broke up."**

"**Are we going to break up?"**

"**No" **

"**So why bring up such a depressing subject?"**

"**It's just a simple hypothetical question."**

"**Hmmmm, if I survive the first few emotional blows than I would do anything I could to get you back."**

"**Like what?"**

"**Like climbing mountains with my hands, crossing desserts without water, swimming across the Atlantic in cement shoes, eating meat cakes, whatever it takes."**

"**Whatever it takes huh?"**

"**Getting this far I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world."**

"**Good answer."**

Kim sat up. That was a particular conversation that she had long forgotten.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I don't know what to do anymore mom. Ever since the breakup with Kim every single thing I've done has backfired in my face, and I'm just lost mentally, emotionally, academically, and _physically_"

"Oh my poor baby" His mother stroked his hair as his head lay innocently on her lap. "Don't worry Ronald you're just going through a rough patch right now."

"How did this happen mom, how did it get like this, I've always tried to be a nice guy. Why did karma hit me this hard what did I do to deserve this?"

"Well sweetie" she adjusted her glasses "sometimes you have the tendency to bumble in and out of your own selfish world oblivious to the things you do that really upset the people around and then you further complicate the issue by wondering what it is you've done wrong."

Ron sprung up off her lap "what?"

"Oh don't worry" she cooed "everyone has faults dear you just have to overcome them."

His hands came up to his shoulders "Whoa how come you've never mentioned these faults before?"

"I'm telling you now."

Ron scoffed "is there anything else I should have known before I left home and became a sort of adult."

It was at that point that his mother decided it was time for her to give an extended lecture on, life, love and personal hygiene, knowledge that he could have used when he had turned thirteen.

As Ron was about to remark on the lateness of such advice his father entered the room tapping on his wrist watch.

"Ooops time to go" Mrs. Stoppable said

"What, go?"

"Son we really appreciate you coming over to see us but we had plans for tonight, big actuary convention in town. But the good news is we don't have to hire a babysitter for Hannah."

Ron watched in stunned amazement as the people he sought solace from walked out of his room to enjoy dinner and entertainment.

"Oh well" He heard music coming from upstairs "Han"

He opened the door of his seven year old adopted sister's room and was immediately assaulted by a blaring stereo.

_How come every time you come around, My London, London bridge, wanna go down like, London, London, London, wanna go down like, London, London, London, we goin' down like_

"Nooooooooooo!" Ron dove into the room and smashed his hands against the off button on the stereo.

Hannah because she had her back to the door hadn't noticed her brother's arrival and so she continued dancing on her bed, shaking her tiny behind as hard as she could.

"How come every time you come around, my London, London Bridge, wanna go down like, London, London, London, wanna go down like……hey what happened to the music?" She turned around.

"No Han this is not music this is bad, nonsensical sleazy pop…."

"Ron!" Her screech interrupted Ron's lecture and he was powerless to stop her as she leaped off her bed and tackled him to the ground.

Ron groaned

"Ooofff Han your strength, remember your strength"

She climbed off him "yo bro!"

Ron sat up "how you doing kiddo?"

"I'm allllllll gooooodd." She replied sweetly

"How's school?"

Hannah closed her eyes, tilted her head to the side and snored loudly.

Ron got up to his feet "Yea I know that feeling; unfortunately you can look forward to a lot more of that in the future."

"So how's Rufus?"

Hannah opened the drawer of a small armoire in her room and revealed a sound asleep Naked Mole rat in a pile of clothes.

"He sleeps a lot these days"

"Yea he's getting older" Ron nudged his best animal pal "hey bud"

Upon awakening Rufus squeaked out his name, ran up his arm and hugged Ron's cheek.

"Nice to see you too amigo" Ron placed Rufus back in the drawer "hey you're supposed to be watching Hannah and that includes keeping her away from the sleaze pop radio."

Rufus smacked himself in the forehead "not again."

"Again? This has happened before….man I'm going to have to visit more often."

"Hey" Hannah called out to him as she jumped up and down on her bed "Cmere!"

"A little bossy aren't we?" When he got close to the bed she reached out and snatched a few strands of hair from his scalp.

"Ow what was that for?'

She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned "you have sad eyes, I don't like it. Where are your happy eyes?"

Ron winced and clutched the part of his head that she had scalped "well you can't have happy eyes when you're sad. But maybe a little baby sitting will cheer me up."

Hannah immediately stopped her jumping "you're baby sitting? Mom and dad aren't here?"

"That's the sitch…so what do you want to do?" Ron could see a spark of excitement flash in her eyes.

"Dance party?" she asked excitedly.

"I was thinking dance party…Rufus hit it!"

Rufus was already placing a CD in the stereo, he pushed play and a pulsating techno beat blared out of the speakers.

Brother, sister and pet waved their hands frantically in the air as they spun and twirled in every corner of Hannah's room. The impromptu yet highly energetic dance was an hour in when Ron's eyes fell on a drawing tacked to the wall over Hannah's bed. He picked the drawing off the wall and studied it.

It was picture of a wedding. Two figures stood on a colorful altar the groom with yellow hair and the bride with red.

"What is this?" he asked though he already knew the answer.

Hannah halted her frantic dancing and turned her attention to the drawing "stop being silly that's you and Kim" she patted him on the back "when are you going to ask her?"

"Ask her what?"

"Ask her to marry you duh!"

Ron ran his right hand on the back of his neck "you think we're going to get married?"

Hannah stared at him as if he was a silly, silly clown "you looove her and she looooves you. People get married with each other when they're in love right?"

Ron folded up the drawing "among other things, listen Kim and I….we're probably not going to get married"

"Why?"

"Well we kind of had a fight"

"Why?"

"Because….because maybe we weren't in love. Love is a complicated and confusing thing; it can cause a lot of trouble if you misread it."

"Why?"

"Because that's how the world is, it's complicated."

Hannah rolled her eyes "you love her"

"Han I learned something recently sometimes you don't know what love is, but you might be in love with the feeling of love and get carried away, lost in your own thing, and running on your own selfish emotions and desires."

Hannah's eyebrows furrowed and she deeply concentrated on his statement "uh hmmm….you love her." She said matter-of-factly

"See Hannah sometimes your brain can fool you into thinking stuff. Then you get carried away because you get too confident in your own happiness which leads to paranoia because you don't want to lose that happiness, and this paranoia leads to your eventual destruction. Because that's how life is, that's what happens when you get too close to the sun on wings of wax, you plummet to the ground." At the end of the rant Ron was out of breath and his sister was staring at him curiously.

"But…." She said "you love her."

"Fine, ok let's say I do love her maybe Kim doesn't love me."

"Yes she does."

"No she doesn't.'

"Yes she does."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

"You can't know."

"Why?"

"Because, I didn't know"

"Trust me I can tell." Hannah announced.

"No you can't tell you couldn't possibly be able to tell, because I couldn't tell. No one can really tell, that's why I wanted her to say it so badly so I could really know, so I could be sure."

The room fell into a brief silence as Ron tried to catch his breath.

"It's a beautiful drawing." He took notice of the clock on her wall "Oh look it's time for Spongebob."

"Spongebob!" Hannah squealed then she bolted out of the room since the only television in the house was downstairs. Rufus quickly chased after her.

Ron placed the drawing back on the wall and walked out of the room. He headed down the hallway and up into his old room in the attic.

He flipped the light switch and noticed that his room looked exactly as it did when he had left.

Messy

"Home, sweet home" He sighed as nostalgia washed over him. He quietly began to rummage through his old things. Under his bed he discovered an old envelope filled with pictures from the summer after his high school graduation. He plopped himself on his bed and started to skim through the pictures.

A picture of Zita and Felix hanging out at the mall: _Man_ _I didn't see that one coming, they were good together too. I should try to get them too hook up again_.

Rufus getting the high score on Ron's favorite arcade game: _Can't believe he beat my record I only got to keep the top score for three hours. _

Kim in a skimpy bikini: _Man Mr. Dr.P had a fit when he saw this one_

Ron and Ned posing before Bueno Nacho: _I should go visit him, see how he's doing_

Hannah running through sprinklers: _Wait a minute!_

He went back to the picture of Kim in the bikini

"I think….."

He collected a dozen or so pictures of Kim at the beach from the envelope and scattered them all over his bed.

_Something moved_

One by one he brought the pictures up to his face; he studied them intently, from every conceivable angle he could imagine.

_Something definitely moved_

He had to be sure. He had to be absolutely sure. He needed visual confirmation. He clawed at his belt and struggled to unbuckle it.

His pants were halfway down when someone burst into the room.

"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea! Sponge Bob Square Pants!

Ron screamed "Aiieeeeee!"

Hannah screamed "Aiiieeeee!"

Ron dove on the opposite side of the bed and slid the lower half of his body under it "Sweet Jesus Hannah knock always knock."

Hannah placed her index finger on her chin "Jesus, I thought we were Jewish."

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" he shouted.

She leaped on his bed and peered over the edge "whatcha doing?"

Ron checked to see that his lower half was sufficiently hidden from view "Hannah we need to have a chat about privacy."

Hannah picked one of the pictures off the bed. Her eyebrow cocked, she took a quick glimpse at it before waving it in front of Ron's face "Told ya, you loooooovvvvveeeee her" she teased.

_God knows a part of me does_.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He woke up. He found himself in darkness. Where was he? Why was there something heavy on his foot?

Ron flicked the switch of the lamp on his nightstand and the answers came quickly. He was in his old room in his parent's house. And the thing on his foot was Hannah she was curled up in a ball at the base of his bed. Rufus rested peacefully in her arms.

After he took in the adorable scene, he shut the lights put his hands behind his head and stared straight up at the ceiling. He thought about the short story contest, and wondered if he should give it a shot. What kind of story would he write sci-fi, action, drama?

No, he had enough of drama. Sci-fi would be cool, maybe a story set in the future? The Future where weird gadgets were everyday stuff, like a future where everyone would have their own time machine.

A time machine would be cool to have. He wished he had a time machine. He would go back and do things differently.

Or would he? There was a difference between knowing what the right thing to do was and actually doing it.

For the third time today he heard his phone go off. He watched for a few seconds as his glowing cell vibrated on the nightstand before picking it up.

"Yo KP"

"Hey…..Felix told me you went to your 'rents."

"Yea" he replied softly "I thought I'd visit the folks."

"You could have called me. I would haven driven you there"

"It's cool I didn't mind the train ride"

"So you're ok?"

Ron nodded even though there was no one in the room to see him "I'm fine….you know it's late, is there something wrong?"

"I wanted to talk to you…..I guess you don't know since you've spent most of the day at your folks."

"Don't know what?"

"I wanted to tell you earlier but things have been weird with me lately." There was a pause "I broke up with Ian."

Ron bolted upright "What, when?"

"Last night."

"What happened?"

"Nothing I just came out and told it him it was over"

"I'm sorry to hear that"

"No you're not"

_Damn she knew him well_ "How did he take it?"

She sighed "Not too good, he was completely speechless last night and today he was supposed to pitch and well the team lost by twelve runs."

"Ouch." Ron surprisingly found that he was genuinely saddened.

"He blew the team's first chance at an undefeated season since 1953."

_Geez no one deserves that _"I bet the fans were pissed"

"That's why I thought you would have figured it out already. I guess you haven't talked to Felix in the last few hours. People have been egging the house since the game ended."

"WHAT, WHY?"

"Rumors are flying around that Ian blew the game because he got dumped. Well I guess they aren't technically rumors, since that is kind of what happened….anyway the bottom line is that people know Ian and I have split up. And because of our history and we've been seen together lately……..

Ron slapped his forehead with his hand "Oh no, no, no, no, no…please don't say they're blaming me for the game."

"….Monique says people are burning pictures of you in the residence halls….."

"Wow that doesn't sound too hostile!"

"Then there are the Ron piñatas that are being passed around."

"Oh at least cooler heads are prevailing! So when is the stoning scheduled? Has that been announced over the PA system yet? Come see Ron Stoppable be executed this afternoon right after the morning blood drive!"

"There's no need to panic, the playoffs are in two weeks, by then everyone will have moved on"

"What if Ian doesn't snap out of it? I'll be hated until I graduate!"

"Ron amp down it'll be alright."

"Uh-huh, do you think I should bring my own noose or will that be provided for me."

"Ron no one will take it that far, it's just a game."

"Just a game!" Ron blurted out "Kim for a cheerleader you know nothing about sports."

"I'll make sure things don't get out of hand."

"Are you going to start breaking legs? That's a little out of character for you KP."

"Look this is something we'll just have to deal with when you get back. So let's change the subject. How's the fam'?"

"They're great, a bit neglectful at times but great. Rufus sleeps a lot and Hannah's still a cutie but she has way more energy than I remember. She _demanded_ we have a dance party when I got here."

"Awwwww sounds so sweet."

"Yea she loves our dance parties." Ron tapped his fingers against the head of the bed "hey you remember that big beach trip we took that summer after graduation."

"The one where my dad totally freaked over my bikini."

He laughed "yea I found some pics from there trip…..It brought back some cool memories."

"Those were some good times."

"We still have good times"

"Do we?"

"Ok not recently but yes we have had good times."

"Like the fight we had the other day."

Ron suddenly felt as if his body was shrinking "what fight?" He knew exactly what fight she was referring too.

"I…I shouldn't have jumped too conclusions I'm sorry."

He had to be no bigger than Hannah's thumb by now "listen, whatever happened to the bikini you wore that day? Did your dad actually burn it like he said he would?"

"Huh the bikini? I think I might have it in my closet somewhere but it's definitely too small now, if I tried it on it would barely cover anything."

"Dear God" he muttered under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing……so you're single again."

Silence

"Ron I've been thinking, about what's been going on, about how much we mean to each other and…

Ron's brain went into overdrive. This was it! He could feel it. If he said the right words, made the right case he could win her back. He had no doubt that he could. The barrier she had put up between them had been breached. It was simple all he had to do was cobble together the right words.

_But……._

"Ron I want to say that."

"KP, hold on I've got something to say."

"Ron I know what you're going to say and I…"

"No you don't, just hear me out alright. Remember the fight?" He took a deep breath "One of the girls I had lunch with was named Allison. I met her way before the comic book convention and at the time, for awhile anyway I thought it was all in my head but I think…no I know for sure that she likes me."

"She likes you?"

He blushed "she really likes me KP"

"And?"

"And today, we went for a walk, no actually it was more than a walk it was pretty much a date."

"You know this isn't the first time I've um I don't know how to say this without it sounding ridiculous. I've underestimated your appeal Ron….no that sounds stupid. I mean a lot of girls would be lucky to have you……anyway so she asked you out?"

She sent me a message to meet her somewhere I didn't think it was date until we were halfway into the thing. Then I thought 'yea I'll just go with the flow."

Did you tell her about me?"

"Yes I did but she knows that we're um separated is the best word I can think of at the moment."

"How did the date go?"

"It was pleasant up to a point."

"Did you make her laugh?"

"Maybe….yeah a little bit I guess."

"Is she pretty?"

_Lie_

_Lie_

_Lie_

"Honestly yes she is" he wavered. The conversation had become tortuous. The brief pauses in between their sentences felt like an eternity

"Did she kiss you?"

"She invited me up to her place" he blurted out. "And I went up. There was kissing involved."

"What happened?"

He was surprised she asked. He thought she would have assumed something happened; he had been ready to beg to explain himself.

"Nothing happened. But something very well could have happened, it got very close to happening. Let me say it pretty much nearly happened. If it got any closer to happening it would have happened."

"But _it_ didn't happen?"

"No, no _it_ didn't."

"Why are you telling me all this?

"I don't know." _Why did I do it? Is it self sabotage? Do I have psychological need for emotional pain?_ "It's probably the stupidest thing I've ever done and I truly hate myself right now….. But you should know. Do you really believe that nothing happened?"

"For some reason I'm pretty sure you're telling the truth."

"Are you angry?" _What a stupid question_

"Yea, but I'm also angry at myself for being angry at you" she laughed but he could tell she was trying her best not to cry "Jealousy is such an ego trip. I mean I don't own you, do I? I don't own the way you feel."

"But I promised…."

"I know you promised, but you didn't have to Ron. You didn't have to give me more time to work out my issues. You could have just moved on."

"Hold on Kim…"

"You know the few months that you were dating Elizabeth. I told myself 'how could Ron do this to me after all I did to save the friendship, but what I was really feeling was 'how could he have gotten over me, replaced me so quickly. I should have wanted to see you happy."

"I needed Elizabeth at the time KP; the breakup hit me really hard."

"But I didn't see that Ron, or maybe I did, and I was just secretly hoping everything would sort itself out somehow. The Ian sitch, the fights, all of that was because of my out of control ego, I'm sorry."

"No I'm sorry it was my childish ways and my uber selfishness that caused most of the fights. It's why I avoided you for two months."

"Ron you don't need to apologize it's my fault. I'm sorry."

"No it's my fault, I'm sorry."

"Ron, stop apologizing so I can apologize."

"Why should you apologize when I'm the one who needs to apologize?"

"Ok fine same time" she sniffed

_1, 2, 3_

"I'm sorry" they said in unison

"Jinx you owe me a coke" Kim chuckled.

"I did not see that coming." He took a moment to collect his thoughts "KP where does this leave us?"

"Us, including Allison?"

"I'll take care of that sitch."

"You sound like you're going to whack her."

"I didn't mean to say it like that….What I meant to say was that, I….I have a lot more apologizing to do later." He felt a massive pause coming.

And it did.

After a deathly silence Kim spoke up "where does this leaves us" it was more of a statement than an actual question. "Ron I know it's sounds really selfish but would you still love me regardless to whether I love you or not?"

He thought about it. He had answered this question before. He once told her that he couldn't be with someone who didn't love him. A whole lot had happened since then; did he feel that way still, did he change? If he did should he have changed? Or was he right all along.

"Hold on" she said before he could answer "this is too important to talk about over the phone. It should be face to face."

He agreed "yea you're right. I'm coming back tomorrow…so we'll talk."

"Sure….Goodnight Ron."

"Goodnight KP." He shut the phone and eased back into bed.

"How am I going to get any sleep now?"

He felt a few quick movements on his bed. A Cheshire cat-like grin appeared in the darkness above him.

_A monster!_

"You looooooooooveee her." The monster giggled

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Later that night:

"I'm glad I caught you on the late shift Ned, it's been great catching up."

Ned grinned "no problemo amigo. Just be sure to stop by more often. I'll be here, for the next thirty years most likely."

Ron waved goodbye to his Bueno pal and entered the parking lot. There was no way he was going to get any sleep after his talk with Kim. Well at least not without a greasy pound of meat in his stomach weighing him down.

"Hey leave me alone you jerk!"

The shout caught Ron's attention immediately. A young man and a young woman were arguing only a few feet away from him. He watched fascinated as the girl angrily kicked the guy in both his shins.

"Ow you stupid... fine…now it really is over." The guy lamely hobbled into the front seat of a car and sped away a moment later. The girl continued to stomp angrily around the parking lot

"Hey are you ok?" He called out to her "did he hurt you?"

"Mind your own business!" she yelled at him.

_That voice sounds familiar….it can't be!_

The girl started to walk away but Ron chased after her "Hey" he shouted.

She turned to face him "what do you want?"

_Holy crap_

"Elizabeth?"

"Ron"

He shrugged because that was the only thing he could think of doing "what are the odds?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"That's what happened Monique. That's where we are now."

Monique wiped the crustyness from her eyes and looked at her so called best friend who had dragged her out of bed in the middle of the night.

It wasn't that she didn't enjoy this juicy tidbit but it could have waited until morning.

Monique yawned "Let me ask you this, why are you not at Ron's parent's right now marking your territory."

"What?"

"Let me simplify it for you. Why are you not over there preparing to fight this new hussy for your man?"

"Well technically he's no longer my man and….."

Monique stood up walked over to Kim and grabbed her forcefully by the hair

"Technically my butt, what the heck happened to you? Are you the same Kim who almost broke my ribs over the exchange hottie?"

"Ow, let go of my hair….besides things are different now."

"How? Life is pretty much in the grays for the most part, if you insist always on black and white... you are going to be very unhappy." She let go of Kim's hair "you know how I felt about the breakup. But I let it go, you are your own woman, my motto is, a person should do what feels right to them within the limits of the law of course."

"Monique I…."

"But girl you are running out of time…" Monique grabbed a cup of water that was on Kim's night stand and splashed its contents into her face.

"Hey!" Kim sputtered.

"You need to wake up, stop thinking, just let yourself go and enjoy the experience...Tell me if you saw Jesus floating down from the heavens are you going to stand there and ask 'hey how's he doing that, how does that work? How's he hanging up in the air? What does this mean for mankind?' No what you are going to do, is get on your knees and have a religious experience."

Before Kim could reply there came a loud banging on the door.

"Who is it at this hour?"

The two girls marched cautiously to the front door; Monique peered through the key hole "It's Ian and he looks miserable."

"How miserable?" Kim sighed.

"First thing that comes to mind is Jacob Marley."

"Alright open the door"

Monique opened the door and Ian practically fell into the room.

"Kim I've been thinking about this and I think we can work things out. First of all I forgive you, we can forget about that past."

There was an awkward silence so painful that Monique was sure it would scar her for the rest of her life

"Ian it's not that simple."

"Fine just tell me what you want and I'll do it. Whatever it is, I'll do it ….just let me know what you want."

"Ian I don't want anything from you…."

"Hey Ian it's kind of late maybe you should get some sleep" Monique told him.

"Monique's right" Kim added "we can talk in the morning."

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what you want."

"What I want?

"Kim, please just tell me straight up, what is it that you want?"

* * *

A/N HA you didn't see any of that coming did ya? Throw some curveballs didn't I? Anyway we're coming down to the wire and the ending should not be missed (especially if you've read this far) 

Oh and I didn't Angst up the break-up flashback either. You can pretty much figure out why and how they broke up without me revealing every last detail of it and spilling completely into Soap Opera territory.

Oh the song Kim gets weird with is Van Morrison's Brown eyed Girl (cept she changed girl to boy)

Insider info: And before you people go "oh my god this is terrible" the Elizabeth thing will not add to Ron's suffering he's over her OK?

I'm sure some of you aren't too thrilled about a few of Ron's controversial actions in this chapter. Still read and review tell me what you think (about the final flashbacks, Hannah, Ron's Allison "situation" The K/R talk, Ian's meltdown etc etc)


	9. The end of a friendship

A/N Well this the final chappie folks. Sorry it took so long, I had computer problem and I had to rewrite the end more than once before I liked it. There was quite a bit of pressure in writing the last chapter of your (currently) most popular fic, so I really, I really hope you guys enjoy it. It's been a great ride that's for sure. I will write an epilogue but don't look for that anytime soon, got to give the other stories a little bit of attention.

Thanks to these fine folk. You know what you've done

Aero Tendo, AtomicFire, Barbosa, CMY, CaptProd, Danny-171984, Drakonis Aurous, GhostWhiter, Go10, Joe Stoppinghem, KPRSFan, Kimron Posstoppable, Leo6, Lord of Arken, Mika2345, Misato Psy, PegasusJF, Peter0311, Planet Telex, Ran Hakubi, Scyth3, Slyrr, The Infernal, UncleFester84, Warbird, Zaratan, Zooc, bigwil89, coconut5639, eckles, edghie, ronunstoppable, thoughtlesswanderer.

Special thanks to Barbosa and RI10004 for their help

So enjoy (hopefully)

* * *

It was one A.M and they sat in a booth by a window. Ron couldn't very well call this a date but he felt as anxious as the first time he had gone out with a girl. "I'll split the bill with you, if ya want." Elizabeth reached for her pocketbook, but Ron stopped her. 

"Don't bother."

She tore into her fries while he sat there watching in silence, not knowing how to express all the different emotions he was feeling at the moment. She tossed the last of her fries and into her mouth and grinned. "These fries are bloody fantastic!" she shouted aloud.

Ron blinked a few times, allowing the last thirty seconds to fully, register in his brain… "…What?"

She took a long gulp of her slurpster and sighed "It was a bit of a surprise but I'm glad I ran into to you. For a minute there I thought my night had been completely $$-ed by that complete $#$# of a boyfriend… I mean ex-boyfriend. _God_, what a waste he was, should'a gotten rid of him when he tried to #$#$# my $ in my mum's bedroom. What a #$#$-in' _weirdo_. If you ever have daughters remember; tell 'em never to #$#$# or $#$# on the first date, it just complicates the relationship right off the bat. "

"Right I'll try to remember that." Ron ran his right hand across the back of his neck. "Uh Elizabeth were you always this… colorful?"

She reached into her pocketbook and pulled out a loose cigarette and a lighter. "Colourful?"

"Uh yea…" He watched in amazement as she lit the cigarette and took a quick puff. "Colorful…….. You know you're not allowed to smoke in here right?"

She tilted her head back and blew out a few smoke rings "Who's gonna stop me? That four eyed #$$# behind the counter?"

Ron leaned forward in his chair. "I'm…..I'm a little confused."

She flicked a few ashes onto the ground. "Confused 'bout what?"

"Um… it feels like we haven't talked for a very, _very_ long time."

"Yeah. So how've ya been?"

Ron paused. "Good, good and you?"

"All right?" She nodded before taking another puff. "So… 'ave you gotten back with that Possible bird yet?"

Caught off guard by the abruptness of the question Ron chocked on the straw of his slurpster.

As he attempted to regain his normal breathing patterns Ned cautiously approached their booth. "Uh, excuse me ma'am, there's no smoking in-"

"Piss off, tosser!" she growled at him before blowing a ring of smoke into his face. "We're trying to have a $-ing conversation here."

"My apologizes…" Ned turned on his heels and sprinted away.

"Prat…" she sneered. "You all right, you look a bit off colour."

Ron closed his eyes and took in a breath. "I'm alright; you said something about Kim and I."

'"Oh yea." She took a drag "You know the relationship you two had is like… like an anomaly. Way too idealistic, like it was some kinda fairy tale. The fact that you're friends to begin with seems kinda queer. The fact that you managed to put up with each other for so long is even queerer."

"This has got to be some kind of weird dream." Ron pinched himself on the arm.

"Don't get me wrong, the relationship is completely unrealistic, but in a way it makes sense… in a way…" She flicked some more ash. "So, you sort it all out then?"

Ron found that he was speechless.

"You didn't, did you? I'm gob-smacked. You used to go round her place all the time on the weekends right?"

"I did what? The weekends…? I was going to work! I went to work on the weekends"

"Work? You had a job…?"

"Of course I….. more importantly why would you think I'd go to Kim's house while we were in a relationship?"

"It weren't really a relationship. We had… more of a thing."

"A thing?!" Ron cried incredulously. "What's 'a thing'?"

"It was closer to a thing than an actual relationship."

"Are you serious?" Ron glanced over his shoulders. "Is this…is this a practical joke. Am I being punk'd?"

"As far as 'things' go, it was really fun"

"Yeah it was fun until you cheated on me!"

"Ah, so you found that out then, 'course this is why you seem to be in a bit of a nark. All $$-ed 'n that. But honestly, I thought you done the same and it didn't seem like our thing was all that serious anyway."

"Uh-huh….Who are you and why do you sound like Monty Python?"

"What d'ya mean? We went out for two months… you gone barmy since the last time we spoke?"

"Yes exactly, we had a two month relationship."

"No we didn't"

"But you just said……."

"We had a two month_ thing_… it's hardly what I would define as 'a relationship'."

"I would. It goes along with my exact definition of what a relationship is. You know what; let's go buy a dictionary right now."

"Oh, come off it mate! It was pretty blatant you still fancied Kim. I mean, you were never around when you were with me."

"What, we hung out all the time!"

"I mean you were never_ around_-around, y'know… _emotionally _n' that. There was never an emotional connection, that's why it was a 'thing' instead of a 'relationship'."

"Okay, okay." Ron placed both his hands on the table. "If it wasn't an emotional-type relationship, then why do I carry emotional;-type scars."

She shrugged "Iunno… maybe you were used to having a girlfriend. Sometimes you can be a bit blinkered…."

"Blinkered?"

"Narrow sighted luv. You focus on one thing and get all caught up in it."

Ron took a moment to reflect.

"Alright I could'a ended our 'thing' better, maybe in a way that didn't leave ya feelin' shafted, but the way things were playin' out……. I mean I decided that it would be best if I dumped ya before you dumped me. God knows I didn't wanna go through _that_ again soon…"

"Of course I _completely_ understand; no one should get dumped _twice_ in a row in less than _three_ months. That would be a _horrible_ feeling." He said with a more than a drip of sarcasm in his voice. He wanted to continue arguing his case but he thought better of it, because there was actually some truth to what she said. If things were developing with Kim like they were now while he was dating Elizabeth the chances were high that….. "I guess one of us was gonna to get hurt eventually."

Elizabeth put out her cigarette and lit another one "Abso-bloody-lutely, and frankly, I thought you would'a taken it better… y'know… 'stead of sissyn' out, gettin' all #$#$y n'$$$#"

"…Uhuh." Ron didn't know how to reply to the casual insult.

"I didn't know you were so enthused about the relationship I mean, you never even replied when I said I love you."

Suddenly a large masked man seven feet tall around three hundred pounds appeared from behind Ron. Wielding a massive sledgehammer like a baseball bat the masked man struck Ron in the back of the head.

Or at least that's what it felt like.

He chuckled "You didn't say it."

"Oh yes I did, but don't put any stock to it, I didn't mean it. I only said it to gauge your reaction, and the reaction I got was none."

"I haven't been this stunned since I was thirteen when I found out Santa Claus wasn't real…"

"…You were thirteen when you found out there was no Santa?"

He waved his hand dismissively in the air "That's beyond… that's so far from the point…" Suddenly he shook his head vigorously back and forth… "No"

"What do ya mean no?"

"You couldn't have said it, because I don't remember it….there's no way somebody could tell me 'I love you' without me responding…..I don't believe it"

"It was a Wednesday afternoon you were playin' the latest remake of the original Zombie Mayhem instead of helpin' me study like you was supposed to; you just started the second to last level…"

"That was an intense level."

"……I looked up from my Operations Management textbook and I said: 'Ronald, I love you…' and you was all like: 'Cool…'"

"There you go, there you go." Ron exclaimed "Obviously I wasn't paying attention."

"Your point is….."

"My point is if I'd heard it I would have…….I would have…"

She took one more puff. "You would'a either lied or told the truth."

Ron licked his lips. "Which one would that be if I said 'I love you' back? Because that was probably what I would have done at the time."

"That would be a lie."

Ron started to stammer. "Now wait a minute. Maybe at the time I might of….you couldn't possibly tell that….."

Elizabeth gave him a look of immense scepticism

"I mean _come on_, you're putting me on the spot and…….I'm not the kind of guy who purposely hurt……I mean your feelings obviously would have been hurt if I hadn't….you say lie like its such a negative thing."

"It was a good thing that you weren't paying attention then, eh? Things would'a been a lot messier if you'd have lied. Trust me on this; I've been down that road before."

As she was talking; Ron started to less then gently bang his head against the table.

"What're you still going' on about anyway; I already told ya I didn't mean it. It was a _test_… the fact is I'm the one who should be ashamed that I even tested you like that."

Elizabeth watched on curiously as Ron lifted his head off the table and sighed deeply. "I'm sorry."

"…What?"

"I'm sorry for everything, not paying attention to you, not reacting to your 'confession' the whole rebounding thing."

"Wait a minute, from my point of view _you_ were the rebound."

"Whatever, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that I'm sorry."

She grinned. "You're so sweet, that's what I like about you. You're sweet but you're also a bit of a pillock. I really don't see anything for you to apologize for."

"You said "I love you and I……."

"Oh stop talking about love. Any twat in the world can say he _loves_ somebody, still don't _mean_ anything. What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts really."

"Um…"

"I mean I said 'Ron I love you', but did I mean it? Did I treat you the way someone does when they love someone? For God's sake I _cheated_ on you!"

Ron winced. "Yeah…"

"…Multiple times."

"Yeah… I get it."

"Love is just a word mate… your actions give it meaning." Elizabeth extinguished her cigarette directly on the table. "Come on, I didn't hurt you that bad did I?"

He shook his head. "No, I guess you didn't."

She grinned at him fondly. "Bollocks." She laughed. "You're such a $$$y liar."

"I swear on my brother's grave that I'm not lying"

Elizabeth thought back reflectively but she didn't recall him ever mentioning a brother, or her ever asking about his family. "You cheeky twat, you don't even have a brother, do ya?"

Instead of answering Ron just smiled back her.

She rose out of her seat. "If that's the case then I don't have to feel bad."

"Nope."

"Good, then I'll see you 'round campus, if I ever decided to go back to school that is….."

Ron nodded.

"Give us a bell when you get yourself sorted out. If Possible turns out to be a complete #$$$ and doesn't take you back then maybe we can have another thing or two."

With that she walked out of the Bueno Nacho leaving Ron in the booth alone.

He sat at the booth thinking about the recent developments in his life, and then it occurred to him he had been thinking about stuff more in these past few months than he had ever had in his previous twenty years of existence. He was spending entirely too much time with his mind.

"Hey…" Ron looked up at Ned who was gazing cautiously at the door. "…Is she gone…?"

"Yeah, she's gone."

Ned let out a sigh of relief and sat down where Elizabeth had been a moment before. "What is it with you and these alpha females are you a masochist or something? Your taste in girls might be the weirdest thing about you, and that's saying something."

"You know what's weird?" Ron dipped a lone fry into a tiny cup of ketchup. "You think you know yourself, you think you know how things are supposed to be, and then boom! Whoa! Here's a different perspective and suddenly the things you thought you did right, you actually did wrong, you just thought it was right but it really wasn't. But that doesn't mean what you thought was completely right was actually completely wrong, or what you thought was completely wrong was actually completely right. The thing is what you thought was right might have been wrong for that moment. And if you took the time to take a closer look at what you thought was wrong instead of focusing on how you could be right, then maybe you'll find the real right answer instead of the wrong one."

Ned ran his fingers through his hair. "Ooooookaaay……… I'm sure that in some alternate dimension that would actually make sense."

Ron devoured a French fry whole. "So Ned, what's new with you?"

"Nothing much, I'm thinking about moving out of my parents place pretty soon."

"Coolio."

'And it'll be almost a year since the last time this Bueno Nacho got destroyed so we might have a little celebration for that…."

"It was the lava monster last time right?"

"Nah, that was three years ago, last year was the giant killer centipedes."

Ron nodded. "Right, right…Good times."

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The two Kims locked in combat, rolled toward the edge of the ring. The crowd surges forward. Hands reach out and slap at the combatants. Logical Kim the referee kicks at the hands of her counterparts, trying to drive the crowd back. A rain of cheers and jeers from the dozens of member of the audience descended on the ring.

"YEAH! ROCK AND ROLL!" Raging Kim shouted over the rest of the crowd as she performed a standing roundhouse kick. "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! TO THE VICTOR GOES THE SPOILS! THE THRILL OF ONE MORE KILL! TWO ENTER! ONE MUST LEAVE! THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!"

Power suit Kim slowly climbed to her feet, regaining her senses she backed away as Prom Kim approached her with a determined stride, one hand elevated her palm outward.

"Listen let's be reasonable." P.S Kim pleaded. "Maybe we can work out a deal."

"I don't get it, why is Kim scared of getting wet when she's already underwater?" Prom Kim threw a punch that caught P.S Kim on the cheek, snapping her head back and sending her tumbling into the ground.

The blow sent a rush of excitement through the emotionally charged crowd. Shouts and cajoles were hurled at Prom Kim, edging her on.

"Three to one odds!" Competitive Kim exclaimed.

"In who's favor?"

Prom Kim snatched P.S Kim up by the hair and sent her knee crashing into her ribcage.

The crowd roared. "I mean _five_ to one! Five to one odds on the power of love!" Competitive Kim announced in an eager voice.

Power Suit Kim burned with righteous indignation as she was once again hurled to the ground. She leaped to her feet and threw a punch with all the strength she could muster; Prom Kim effectively threw one arm high to block the attack. "First of all she's jealous whenever another girl glances at Ron!" Prom Kim countered with a hook to her opponents gut. "She's happiest around him!" She attacked again. "Plus I'm not sure she can see a future without him!" And again.

Crawling on all fours Power Suit Kim scrambled quickly behind Logical Kim. "L.K… Help me!" She gasped.

Logical Kim stammered anxiously as Prom Kim came nearer. "Um… l-let's be rational for a minute here, I mean… what are we fighting over? The idea that someone may be the love of your life? I mean… the whole idea is absurd! Like a… like a fairy tale! The implication that one can only be complete with another person is irratioooooooo-! OW! OOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!!!"

"Here's what you don't understand… you _can't_ go back to that point! You can't just go back to the tree house, eating at Bueno Nacho, sitting on the couch and watch Agony County….things have developed past that!" Dragging Logical Kim by the hair, Prom Kim walked to the edge and tossed LK into the audience.

Coughing violently LK looked up to see four year old B.F.F Kim standing over her "Nuh-uh! Fairy tales _can_ come true!" She cried, before kicking LK in the ribs. "Poopy head!"

From the edge, Prom Kim beckoned Hulk Kim closer, she pointed to LK… "Hey, _she's_ one of the reasons why _other girls_ were getting _touchy feely_ with _our Ron_."

Hulk bellowed with rage as Logical Kim whimpered on the ground.

"Well…" Said a Kim with a Groucho Marx moustache and restless eyebrows. "Looks like logic is about to get thrown out the window."

Competitive Kim rolled her eyes "This is why no one thinks she's funny."

Meanwhile, back in the ring, Prom Kim grabbed P.S Kim from behind and embraced her into a chokehold.

"It's over…" she whispered to her captured adversary. "You're not in control anymore…"

"No! Everything will be ruined!"

"It's okay to give up control every once in awhile, it'll be fine."

"Why are you so strong?!" Power Suit Kim continued to struggle against her captor.

Prom Kim continued to whisper into her opponent's ear. "Let me ask you something… If the world was going to end tonight, what would Kim say to Ron? Do you know?"

"What? You mean if like a meteor was going the hit the earth?"

"Don't be so melodramatic, fine… just the two of them then?"

"If I knew what we were dying from it would help… Like a fast acting virus. If it's that, then maybe we could manage to keep our heart rates below…….."

"Shut up, just shut and listen and listen!" Prom Kim applied more pressure to her hold. "If Ron were dying right now in her arms, how would she feel?"

"Terrible….horrible…."

"Of course she would, her long time friend is _dying_…."

Power Suit Kim gasped for air. "She'd… feel bad….because he didn't really know…."

"Hmmmm?"

"This…..is….uncharted……territory….okay."

"I guess it _is_ hard to gamble on everything when you're not sure. For one thing, the feeling can't be explained, you can't control or predict what'll happen, and everything can just go horribly wrong at anytime." Prom Kim sighed. "The problem is that a person can close their eyes things to the things they don't want to see but it's impossible to close yourself off forever from the things you're afraid to feel."

"…….Impossible?"

"Even for a Possible."

Power Suit Kim, who had stopped struggling a while ago, suddenly went limp,

"I'm going to let you go." Prom Kim stated. "But I want you to trust me."

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2:14 AM:

Kim's eyes flickered from Monique to Ian. He looked at her expectantly. "I want…." She closed her eyes and drew in a breath. "Listen Ian, like I told you before, I just don't think we're right for each other."

"…What does that even mean? Wait a minute; what you're saying is that Ron is right for you?"

Kim didn't reply.

"Wait a minute, I'm as nice as he is, I'm as sensitive as any guy….sensitive but with a masculine edge. I know I look better than he does…"

"Looks are subjective." Monique interrupted.

He ignored her. "What's left? Sense of humor? He's not even that funny! Most of the time people are laughing _at_ him not _with_ him."

"I know you're upset right now… so…….."

"Upset?! I can't believe this is happening! I did _everything_ I could! I would have given you everything….the moon, the stars, the sky."

Kim smiled patiently at him… "I'm so sorry for everything. This is really all my fault and I can't apologize enough…"

"So these last few months meant _nothing_ to you…?"

"No, I can't say that. I like you; I think you're a great person. But that doesn't mean I think we're right for each other. I should've been honest with you from the very beginning; I don't blame you for being angry with me…"

"…I'm too stunned to be angry!"

"You _should_ be angry… you've every right to be."

"I'm sorry. I really am. I'm really sorry."

Ian's lowered his gaze to the floor. "Okay I gotta go…" He sniffed before swiftly and briskly making his way out the door.

"That was cringe-worthy enough for two lifetimes…" Monique remarked when Ian was gone

"Definitely. He's a nice guy though; hopefully he'll bounce back quickly."

Monique placed her hands on her hip. "So I guess you and Ron are on the same page now."

Kim was about to reply when a stone burst through her their living room window and rolled across the ground towards her feet. "Monique, remind me in the morning to call the tweebs."

"The tweebs? For what?"

"To help with what this mob sitch."

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It was early in the morning and the train to Middleton tore along in an angry irregular rhythm, roughly bouncing the passengers who were along for the ride. Ron took his eyes from the window and hitched himself back against his seat.

"I mean, why should I be worried if things are going to last? When it is lasting… y'know? Right now, at this moment, it is what it is. The thread is still connected, the feelings might be buried but it's still alive, we can dig them up."

Ron's audience, which consisted of a heavy-set middle aged man sitting beside him, an elderly couple sitting across from him, and a young mother and her two children adjacent from them, stared at him with rapt fascination.

The middle aged man folded his newspaper onto his lap. "Okay, what if she says no?"

"She might say no, but she hasn't yet. She said yes before and there's a good chance she'll say yes again."

"I think you should go for it." The young mother told him. "I mean why not?"

"What if it doesn't work out?"

Ron threw his hands up in the air "What if… what if a meteor falls out of the sky…..? What if Global Warming is real? What if I die tomorrow? I can't control all that stuff…..but what's a worse what if, 'what if Kim and I break up' or 'what if Kim and I miss out on….on_ destiny_'…..and that's what it feels like. Destiny" He pointed to the old couple. "You know what I'm talking about, right?"

The old man of the couple nodded. "We've been married fifty two years."

"You see that?" Ron grinned and looked around. "That could be me and Kim."

The old woman of the couple leaned forward. "And our nights are as passionate as when we were newlyweds."

Ron's eyes went wide. "………………..Alright, T.M.I… but I'm digging on what you're saying. I'm grooving on the positive vibes you're putting out here. I like it; I'm feeding off of it."

The middle aged man crossed his arms over his chest. "This can't possible work, it's all too unrealistic."

Ron turned to the man. "I see what you're doing. You're a black hole but instead of sucking in light, you're dragging away all my positive energy. Let me tell you what's unrealistic dude, a guy with mystical monkey powers." Ron leaned in closer to the man. "But you gotta understand; this whole _deal_ is unrealistic! I mean _come on_, six billion people in the world and you fall in love with _one face_? Work the math out on those kinds of odds dude, it's gotta be like… like _six billion_ to _one_!"

"…?"

"See without Kim its feels like… not to sound melodramatic, but it feels like there's a huge piece is missing from my very soul…"

"It's like a void." The young mother declared.

"Yes, an empty void deep down inside…"

"That's stupid." The middle aged man growled. "You can't have an empty void."

"How do you know how I feel?"

"How you feel is irrelevant. The fact is you can't have an empty void, one of the definitions of the word void is an empty space; emptiness, saying an "empty void" is being redundant."

"Tomato, to_mato_ bro'

The old man thrust a single finger into the air. "The young man is talking about human nature here and you're arguing semantics?"

"We're not arguing semantics; we're arguing common sense-"

"Oh relax." The old woman stated. "Love trumps linguistics."

Ron pointed to her. "Listen to nana here we must, wise one she is." He said with his best Yoda imitation

The young mother and her children suddenly began to chant. "Go for it, go for it, go for it!"

"Oh yeah!" Ron jumped to his feet and started to dance around with the little children. "If at first you don't succeed… try, try again."

"That's right youngster!" The young man laughed. "Go get your woman back, just dive head first into those feelings. It's like nothing else can make you sure you're alive."

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Ritchie adjusted the stainless steel nozzle on the garden hose he was holding. Satisfied with his adjustments he stepped out of the living room and found Phil waiting patiently by the front door with his hand on the door knob.

"Felix is the hose attached?"

A shout from the kitchen. "We're good to go!"

"Be ready for my signal" Ritchie told Phil before shutting his eyes and breathing in deeply. "Crom. I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought and why we died. No… All that matter's is that two stood against many. That's what is important. Battle pleases you Crom. Grant me one request, grant me REVENGE. And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!" He lifted his hand in the air and Phil threw the door open.

Ritchie took aim at the half dozen people who were currently taking turns busting up a Ron piñata. Gleefully he unleashed a powerful stream of water that sent his targets scurrying away from the house.

As Ritchie took a moment to appreciate his handiwork, Phil strolled up beside him. "I'm impressed, that was a pretty good Arnold."

"Not to brag Phil but that was an _excellent_ Arnold. Now let's go back inside and work on operation vengeance on the brunette harlot."

He followed Phil back into the house. "I think if Ron lays low for awhile and the Tigers win the national title then he should be able to walk freely out in campus without being egged on sight."

"Have we heard from him?" Felix asked.

"No but we did get this…" Phil pushed a few buttons the answering and the voice of a small child filled the room. "You looooooooove her!" there was a giggle and then the call disconnected.

Ritchie's eye brows furrowed. "What was that?"

Phil shrugged. "I think it was his 'essential Ronness"

"Can we _please_ get back to operation vengeance on the brunette harlot?" Ritchie whined. "I've got everything planned out already."

Felix snatched the cordless phone from its stand. "For the last time we're not going to help you bring into the Kappa sorority, you can execute you're plan without breaking campus rules."

"But it won't be as dramatic…" He grumbled.

"Stop being a baby." Felix placed the phone to his ear. "Now I've got to reach Ron and warn him before he gets here."

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Ron nervously walked down the hallway to Allison's apartment. It was almost a minute before he lifted his hand and wrapped lightly on her door. It seemed like an eternity until the door opened and he saw the anxiousness on Allison's face. He stood there staring, at her wordlessly, neither knew what to say or do. ..

Finally, Allison broke the awkwardness, "I guess you better come in".

Ron followed her into the living and took a seat on her leather couch. Keeping his eyes her plush carpet he inhaled. "Um… I just wanna say..."

"Do you want something to drink?" She interrupted.

He let out a relieved sigh… "Sure…" Ron glanced about the relatively small apartment, fighting back his creeping apprehension.

After the nervous start, and after a glass of lemonade, it was right back to the awkward silence with Allison now sitting in the armchair opposite from him.

She ran her hands together. "My mother used to say that sometimes sharing silence is as important as sharing words."

He really had no idea what to say. What could you he say in a situation like this? Anything he said, he was afraid it was going to be insensitive. Allison... wasn't really helping much. Leaning against the doorframe, dressed in a heavily baggy t-shirt and clumsily large grey pants. He was constantly averting her gaze in a manner that smacked of tentatively.

It was a bit depressing.

"I…" He struggled to find the right words for this situation. "Allison, I don't even know why you like me, I'm not sure why _anyone_ likes me! Kim, Elizabeth, you… if I was a girl there's no way _I'd_ like me."

Allison tried her best to suppress a giggle but she failed.

"I wasn't expecting that…"

"Well… it's just something that's been on my mind." He flashed a smile that quickly disappeared. "The other thing that was on my mind is… um…."

"Us…?"

"Us….?" He swallowed the cotton in his throat… "Yeah… us……….. 'cause the thing about us is…..I seem to be…"

"Still in love with your ex…?"

"Yeah… ah yeah, that's it… pretty much what's happening……….. It's like that song 'When A Man Loves A Woman' yeah I'm ready "to sleep out in the rain if she said that's the way it ought to be."

She sighed.

It was then that Ron's cell phone began to ring. He swiftly pulled it from his pocket, turned it off and absentmindedly attempted to slip it back into his pocket. Instead it dropped into the folds of Allison's coach.

"No more interruptions….because I've got to say this……… you're…_you_ Allison. You're completely awesome……Guys should complete in Olympic games just to be with you…but my heart is set on KP, I can't change it, and maybe I don't want to…"

She stared at him curiously, searching his face. "This is the weirdest variation of 'things aren't going to work out between us' I've ever heard."

"I didn't pick it but weirdness is what I am all about…….Allison I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"Aren't you mad at me? I mean… I kind of strung you along here. And yesterday…………." He blushed at the awkwardness. "Well……. I mean under normal circumstances… I'm sure I would've been up for it, but… um… it must have upset you on some level…I guess for that any everything else I've done, I'm sorry."

A smirk on her face Allison stood up and put out her hand "Ron I've thought about it long and hard. But I think we're better off as friends."

He jumped up to his feet and took her hand in his. "Wait, are you giving me the brush off?"

"I'm sorry Ron, but we're from two different worlds. Trust me, it's not you it's me."

"It's always me…" Ron said with mock despair. Then he stopped mid-shake. "Allison, can we be friends? I mean really be friends." He let the question hang in the air.

They both knew that the question was almost certainly directed towards her and her alone.

"I don't know…" she said softly

"It would be nice." he added

"Yeah, it would…"

Again the horrible awkwardness.

He cleared his throat. "I'd… uh, I'd better go."

"Yeah…" She walked him to the front door and held it open.

Halfway out Ron stopped. "Allison, I wanna say another time, another place…. y'know…"

She closed her eyes. "Ugh… that would be so _horribly_ cliché."

"Eh, I guess you might have a point there. You're the artist after all."

Her eyes flickered open. "What if… what if you get back together and she still doesn't reciprocate. What then?"

He met her eyes. "If it turns out like that……well I'd rather have a piece of her than all of nothing."

She nodded. "Okay, I'm convinced…..listen, I wanna say I'm not mad at you"

"Really?"

She bit her bottom lip. "I'm the artist remember, I'm all about the happy ending…..so go get her big boy, and this time don't let her slip away."

"Thanks, I really appreciate it." He then waited for the moment to pass before walking out the door.

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"It's over…" Ian sighed wearily. He stared mournfully at the glove compartment, as his head lay slumped against the passenger side window of Opie's pickup truck.

"Jesus Christ…" Opie sighed exasperatedly. "I have no more patience for this crap."

"I really liked her you know… I thought this relationship might actually go somewhere."

Opie couldn't help feel the least bit sorry for the poor schmuck, but still… Enough was enough. Leaving him this way wasn't good for business. It was not in the team's best interest for Ian to be in this funk.

"You need to get your head together man, and the only way to do that is with a good old fashion ass whupping!"

A loud whoop came from the three other team mates in the back of the pickup.

"What do you mean?" Ian asked childishly

"What do you mean….?" Opie mimicked mockingly. He took a sharp left turn that caused Ian's head to smack against the passenger window. "Think about it; your girl is returning to her ex, right? Well, if we run the other guy out of town then there won't be anyone for here to return _to_."

"Wait a minute; I don't think this is such a good idea."

"Why? It's his fault and you know it. The two months when he wasn't around were pretty sweet for you and Kim, right? But the second he comes back everything goes sour. You were nice to the guy and he stabs you in the back the second you turn around."

"………I don't know"

"You want her back, right?" Opie scowled.

Ian turned the question around thoughtfully in his head. Opie held his breath, and waited expectantly…

"How long did it take to give a simple answer? Yes or no. It's not a friggin' life or death decision dude."

Finally, he slowly nodded, as if he were unsure of himself. "Yeah… yeah I do!"

Another cheer came from the back.

"That's what I'm talking about. You're a Tiger baby! _No one_ messes with the Tiger's. Isn't that right fellas!"

Buzzy Parker roared with glee. "YEAH! TIGERS!"

Satisfied, Opie settled back in his seat, and concentrated on his reckless driving. He tapped his fingers against the steering with great fevor, smiling to himself. Payback was a dish best served piping hot right out of the oven.

"Now Ian, where does this scumbag live?"

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"Alright, I'll get home change my clothes, slap on some of that cologne that Kim likes then skip on over to her place."

While he contemplated whether to bring flowers to their reunion a speeding pickup truck careering across the campus lawn caught Ron's attention. Its engine chugging noisily the tuck came to a screeching halt right before him.

Ron glanced at the truck briefly before walking on. "Nuts! I can't remember her favourite flower…..I should go with roses, roses are always good."

"Stoppable!"

Ron turned away to see Ian hop out of the truck. "Hey Ian… uh, what's with the last name?"

"It seems that you and I have some talking to do!"

"We, do?" Then it hit Ron like a like a bolt of lightning. "Alright dude, I know what this is about, Kim and I never wanted things-"

Ian closed the gap between them and shoved him backwards.

"Look, things shouldn't have ended up the way it did."

Ian threw a punch that Ron easily ducked under. "Dude, I love-"

"You son of a…." Ian charged at him his fist in the air.

Ron sidestepped Ian's blow and he stumbled forward. "I don't know if I can apologize enough for what happened, all I can say is that I never intended for you to get caught up in this."

Ian regained his footing and turned towards Ron. "I loved her you jerk!"

"Oh yeah? Well…… I loved her first!"

"What are you, twelve?!" Fists clenched, Ian stepped forward.

"I'll admit I didn't consider your feelings when I pursued Kim." Ian tossed a haymaker that Ron deflected without hesitation. "I know I'm not a saint, but I had to follow my heart."

"I'm going to beat the crap out off you!"

Ron deftly smacked away Ian's reaching hands. "Ian, dude, this kind of intense emotional drama is new to me, how was I supposed to know how to deal? Half the time I wasn't sure where to go next."

"Oh, no excuses, you and Kim sneak around my back; you play around the truth with me. You_smiled_ at me, you shook my hand, and all the while you were scheming for her behind my back!"

Ron, who had been successfully dancing around Ian's grasp, suddenly came to a complete stop. He appeared to be dazed when Ian grabbed him by the collar.

"What kind of hero? You're no hero, you're a jerk!" Ian tackled Ron to the ground and landed on top of him. He raised his fist struck Ron in the mouth.

"I guess where I screwed up is that I trusted you! And I trusted her!" Ian hit him again, and blood oozed from his nose.

"I know it doesn't mean much but I want to say….."

Bam! Ian's fist caught Ron the chin

"…….Everything I've done is because……"

Bam!

"……I'm pretty sure…..No I know that she's the one….."

Bam!

"If there's any chance I can get her back, I'm going to take it, but I'm really sorry you got caught in the crossfire…..I don't know what else to say"

Ian took a moment to catch his breath. "Dude, why aren't you fighting back? Don't you know like monkey-fu or something?"

"How am I supposed to explain if I'm fighting back?"

Ian groaned inwardly. "You're not letting me hit you, are you?"

"I'm the other guy; I'd want to hit me if I were you."

A grimace came across Ian's face. "Oh man, this totally sucks…" He rolled off Ron and sat beside him, his knees touching his chest.

Ron sat up quickly "Wha….?"

"I can't beat up someone who's not gonna fight back."

Ron rubbed his cheek. "You mind if I tell my bruised face the bad news."

Ian looked over at Ron. "I mean I can't keep beating up on someone who's not gonna fight back."

"Oh…..you're a pretty badical guy."

"Shut up, I still hate you. I just realized that beating up on guy won't make her love me."

Ron ran his hand across his face. "It would have been really excellent if you had thought of that sooner……I'd still feel like crud though."

Ian inhaled and exhaled. "Man it……it felt real to me I guess it didn't to her…"

Ron massaged the bottom of his jaw. "What're you gonna do now?"

Ian scoffed. "Wouldn't you like to know…" he exhaled "my grandmother once told me that if you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."

"WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT IS THIS BONDING BULLCRAP?!"

Ian stood up and wiped the blades of grass from his pants. "Forget it dudes this isn't me, let's get out of here."

Opie rolled hid eyes. "Oh my God Ian stop being a sissy and run this dork off, you'll never get that tramp back if you don't."

Ian stiffened. "What did you say…?"

Sam Mathers laughed. "Oh, so _now_ he's got some base in his voice."

"You take that back! She's not a…. a…. what you just said!"

"If she's not then why are you getting two-timed?" Opie shrugged. "Fine, whatever… she's a nice girl from a nice family, I don't care. But the bottom line is you're a Tiger. Tigers are _not_ supposed to take crap from anyone. So if you don't send this loser a proper message then we will, and when that's done we'll change your diapers and go out for some ice cream."

The rest of the tigers broke out into laughter.

"You jerks! I'll…."

"Hold on E."

Ian turned to see Ron scribbling into his notebook with a pen. After some furious writing he tore a page from the notebook and placed it back into pocket.

He nonchalantly walked over to Opie, ignoring the hard glances from the other three team members; he offered the torn sheet to him.

"What the heck is this? A letter of apology?"

Ron remained silent.

Opie sneered and snatched the paper from Ron's hand. "Haw, Haw, Haw… Now with you, the fiercely handsome Ron Stoppable, out of the way; I shall be free to conquer the world and do as I please….? What the hell-?"

He never saw the punch coming.

The force from the blow jolted his head back violently and caused him to stagger backwards in shock. Barely conscious and very woozy, Opie tried to get regain himself, but his legs gave way and he fell into the dirt.

Ron plucked the torn page from ground. "Whoa Ian, you heard that right? Didn't Opie say he was trying to take over the world?"

Ian looked on in amazement. "Uh… yeah…."

Ron plucked the torn page from ground. "The old dude won't be happy about this, but it'll make me feel better about hitting a non-villain."

Buzzy Parker snarled as he sprinted towards Ron.

"Oh? A henchman." Ron sidestepped Buzzy's bum-rush lashed out his foot and sent Buzzy tumbling to the ground.

Ron saluted baseball player. "Thanks for attacking first dude, it really makes things easier."

He turned to Jimmy Hughes and Sam Matthers who put their hands up as if to surrender. "Hey man, I've a ten game hitting streak. I can't afford to get hurt now." Jimmy declared.

Sam gulped. "On behalf of Opie and Buzzy I'd like to apologize for any disparaging remarks made against Kim Possible."

"What about trying to take over the world?" Ian quipped.

"And for trying to take over the world." Sam added.

"THERE HE IS!"

Seeing the approaching crowd of people wearing striped Tiger jerseys, Ron suddenly became very nervous. "Are the Tiger fans still mad at me?" He whispered to Ian.

"Last time I checked, the Kappa sisters were telling people that you slipped a Mickey into my Gatorade out of spite."

"Oh jeez… and you didn't deny these rumors?!" He whispered harshly.

Ian shrugged. "I really had other things on my mind."

"IS THAT OPIE ON THE GROUND?! THERE"S BUZZY! RON STOPPABLE IS TRYING TO RUIN OUR SEASON!"

"Listen folks!" Ian called out. "It wasn't Ron's fault we started the whole mess, things just got carried away!"

"Besides, they're fine!" Ron pointed to the now fully unconscious Opie. "You can still play baseball with a few missing teeth!"

"Ow my ankle!" Buzzy Parker cried as he clutched his right foot. "It hurts!"

Silence

Face filled with trepidation Ron turned to the crowd of over a dozen. "Guys! Before you make any judgments on my character I'd just like to say I'm pro-family and anti-terrorism!"

"GET HIM!"

"What're you gonna do now?" Ian sputtered as the mob closed in.

"Going back to my roots, the one art I've masters above all… The art of running away…..Seems like the right decision." He pointed in a random direction. "Oh, uh… look! The campus rent-a-cops are raiding the dorms!"

Gasps of shock and horror ran through the mob as they all heads snapped in the direction Ron was pointing.

"Wait a minute; they're not allowed to do that!" Someone cried.

"HEY! HE'S GONE!"

By the time most of them had noticed Ron had already put quite a bit of distance between himself and the mob.

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"So…" Monique stretched out her leg along the front steps of their apartment building. "I guess you and Ron are on the same page now" she repeated

Kim was about to reply when a yellow taxi blaring loud hip hop music turned the corner of their block.

_Oh God here they come _

Kim let out a breath. "Monique, remember when I told you that the tweebs were falling into the grunge rock scene….. Well, they're into something else now."

The cab came stopped before the house and the tweebs jumped, decked in matching hooded sweatsuits… all baggy.

"Wassup, wassup, wassup! The twizzles are in the hizzle for rizzle!" Jim hollered.

Silence…

…Jim tugged at his slipping pants.

"…What, do you two think you're doing?" Monique inquired.

Tim grinned. "Y'all peepin' on the twizzle remix. The 'stop snitchin' edition, we be half men, half diesel like Optimus Prime."

Kim walked over to her brothers and took notice of the gold chain around Tim's neck. "I thought dad wasn't into the man jewelery."

"Not anymore! I mean we_did_ get grounded for a month but we held strong fur'real!" he said.

"That's rights." Jim nodded in agreement. "No one's gonna keep _us_ down! Cuz we be from the dirty-dirty!"

Monique exchanged glances with Kim and laughed "…You hear that? They're from the dirty-dirty."

Tim's eyebrow arched "Monique, you lookin' hotter than an oven----

----Like three kinds of juicy----"

"Holla at'cha boys!" They concluded in unison.

"Girl, please tell me I did not just hear the munchkins hitting on me?"

Kim ran her right hand across her face. "Let's get to why we're here shall we?"

"Aiiiiiight." Tim reached into the duffel bag he was carrying and removed his laptop after a few taps on the keyboard a holograph image of Ron appeared before them.

HoloRon smiled "Ah-booyah!"

"This is what you want right sis?"

"That's great guys"

Monique brushed past Kim. "Can you make an image of Denzel?"

"No doubt." Tim's hands danced along the laptop and immediately Monique's wish was granted.

"Make him say 'Monique, you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever know'."

Tim looked over at Kim who just shrugged. "Uh…"

"Just do it!" Monique snapped. "And make him say it in a deep voice."

Denzel's image flickered, "Monique you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever know."

She fanned herself. "Oh my goodness… I need to sit down…"

Kim stepped forward as Monique swooned. "Can we get back to the objective at hand please?" She handed her brothers a sheet of paper. "I want you to run multiples of Ron through ever corner of the University, and I want them to read this explanation to as many people as possible. This way Ron can explain himself and he won't run into to some nine inning zealot who'll try to pull him into a fight."

Jim looked the sheet over. "Okay, we'll do it, but you have to let us apply to this school. If not, we're gonna drop out of here like a Catholic School Girl during her third trimester."

"Oh snizzle Tim, that was _tiiight_!" Jim held out his fist. "Hicka bicka boo…"

Tim pounded his fist against his brothers. "……Hoo-shizzle!"

_Oh God Wade, what a time for you to be at a family reunion._ "Fine! Just… get to work, okay?"

"Nice, but if we're gonna get to work we'll need some work music." Tim pushed a button on his laptop and pulsating hip-hop beat filled the air, while holograms of scantily clad women appeared besides them.

Jim's head bobbed up and down. "This is banging right thurr! Bounce to it, bounce! Ya feel me, cuz I feel you!"

Tim in the meanwhile began to break dance beside a holo hip-hop honey. "Yeeaahh shawty! Drop it like its hot! Pick it up likes it cold!"

"I have _got_ to have a long talk with them." Kim muttered to Monique.

"Uh-huh…..hey do you think they could put that image of Denzel in a loop up in my room."

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Bonnie skipped happily up the staircase to her room. The picture hadn't destroyed Kim and Ron's relationship as she wished. But the fallout of Kim and Ian's breakup had created a unique opportunity. If Ian continued to breakdown then the team would be in disarray and Ron would be run out of the school by the team's rabid fan base. Kim would have to follow or risk separation.

Oh life could be so wonderfully delicious.

She flicked the light switch in her room and gasped. Someone was in her room. The swivel chair at her computer desk suddenly twirled towards her revealing the intruder

"Why, hello Bon-Bon"

Bonnie groaned at the sight of Ritchie. "Oh, it's just _you_, How did you get in here……?" A thought occurred to her. "You didn't go through my underwear did you?"

Ritchie rolled his eyes. "I'm here to discuss more important issues."

"Oh you did! You so did! You are such a _perv_…"

Ignoring her insults Ritchie pushed the on button on her computer. A smashed Bonnie and Ritchie came on the screen.

"_I mean the only reason I let her join the sorority is because she's rich." Bonnie slurred. "Hell, I'm doing her a favor… there's no way anyway with a beak nose like that should be in a sorority."_

"_Oh no you didn't." Ritchie laughed._

"_Oh yes I did, look… between you and me, half the girls in the sorority are just hiiiiiidious. I mean when I come out of the bathroom after looking at myself in the mirror, it's like… it's like… going from Miami Beach to Pittsburgh. But what are you going to do? Ninety percent of the student body here is virtually un-dateable…"_

"_Wait a minute are you comparing all the girls to yourself?"_

_Bonnie paused… and then laughed. "I guess I am setting the bar too high aren't I? ….You know if you put a little mousse in your hair you'd look pretty cute" _

_Ritchie coughed. "Wait weren't we supposed to be planning something?"_

The screen went black when Ritchie turned off the monitor.

"So you videotaped our planning sessions." Bonnie clucked. "Well at least you took my advice and went with the mousse."

Ritchie ran his hand through his slick hair. "I figured it would be in my best interest to have some insurance. I'm sure your Kappa sisters wouldn't be too pleased to see this little home movie."

She folder her arms over her chest. "So what do you want?"

He grinned. "That should be obvious"

Bonnie's face scrunched up in disgust "Ewwww!"

Ritchie stood up. "That's not what I meant, but I like where your heads at. No what I want is for you use your power of popularity to get Ron out of this hot water he's gotten himself into."

"Fine" She grumbled as Ritchie walked past her. "Just get out"

"Can do." He opened the door to her room and took one step outside before turning around. "Bonnie… we may not have tomorrow but… we'll always have yesterday…" He said solemnly

She rushed out the door. "GET OUT!"

He quickly shut the door behind him. When Bonnie had managed to suppress her anger the door popped open again.

"By the way, I love the hello kitty panties." Ritchie said before swiftly popping back at out

Angrily Bonnie grabbed a pillow from the bed and through at the once again closed door. "PERV!"

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"THERE! HE DUCKED IN BEHIND THE CAFETERIA"

The mob of Tiger fans rushed furiously towards Ron's last known whereabouts. They entered the alleyway behind the cafeteria only to come up to a dead end.

"Where is he?" Asked one of the fans. "I could have sworn he came in here."

They searched the area until they fell upon a manhole. "You don't think he went in there do you?"

"Maybe."

"Wait I hear something." They all turned to see an unusually shimmering Ron approach them.

"Hi I'm Ron Stoppable of Team Possible and I would like to take the time to explain this gross misunderstanding…."

"Misunderstand this!" A tiger fan picked an empty can off the ground and tossed it at him.

The can harmlessly passed through Ron who flickered once or twice before disappearing completely. The members of the mob were completely stunned.

"Whoa he disappeared?"

"Did he turn invisible; no one told me he had super powers.'

"You know I think I read on the internet that he could shoot fire from nose."

"I hear he changes color like a mood ring. But instead of turning red he turns blue when he's pissed."

"That's an urban myth."

"Is it?"

"All I know is that dude just disappeared."

No longer enraged; murmurs of fear went back and forth between them a second before they scattered in many different directions like a flock of frightened birds.

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"Then she said 'fine, I'll help Ron, but let's make out for old time's sake'. So I was like 'cool, but here's how things are gonna go down; you're gonna put on this costume, I'm gonna leave and come back in, and when I do I want you licking on a lollipop and acting like you're afraid of me…..'"

Felix shook his head in exasperation as Ritchie continued to ramble.

"And the rest is history."

"Yeah history, like how Star Wars is history." Phil quipped laughing at his own joke.

Ritchie waved them all off and was about to enter to kitchen when Ron burst through the front door. Immediately everyone moaned loudly as there noses were assaulted by the scent that followed Ron into the house.

"What is that smell?"

Ron took a quick sniff of the shirt he was wearing. "That smell, Felix, would be the sewer. I was being chased by a gang of rabid Tiger fans so I dove into a manhole…..After they were gone I popped back out."

"You spent your afternoon in a sewer, sounds like some adventure."

"You don't know the half of it, now you're never going to believe this but I swear it's the truth. At first I couldn't push the manhole cover back open. I spent like a good hour and a half in that sewer and while I was down there… in the sewer ok… there was this dolphin and this fiddler crab see, and…." He stopped. "What's that?"

Felix, Ritchie and Phil turned towards the Holo-Ron that was standing in the corner of the room.

"Oh this, well there were a bunch of these running the school trying to explain about you Kim and Ian."

"Really? Did it work?"

"Not really dawg." Holo-Ron exclaimed. "Ninety percent of the holograms malfunctioned when someone tried to attack them."

"Dawg? Tim is that you?"

"Nah son, its Jim!" said the voice coming from Holo-Ron. "Can't you tell the differences in our voices?"

"No I can't, no one can…..and what do you mean the holograms were attacked?"

"Oh don't worry, baby boy, most of the time people just threw stuff at them. Pencils, empty cans, old sneakers, nothing life threatening."

"Can this day get any worse?"

Ritchie walked over and patted Ron on the shoulder. "Don't worry bro; everything is under control by tomorrow things will have successfully blown over, thanks to yours truly."

"And I've got some more good news; there's a good chance Kim's still strolling around campus looking for you. She might be close." Jim told him.

"She is?" He sniffed the air around him. "Oh man! I better go change!" He jetted up the stairs to the second floor.

"He's like such a girl" Phil commented.

Ten minutes to fifteen minutes later Ron bounded back down the stairs in fresh new clothes. Once in the living room he began to nervously pace back and forth… "Okay, so what I'm gonna do is, I'm gonna go outside right? Then I guess I'll see her of course, unless she's me first, but that'll throw me off my game, so I have to make sure I see her first. Okay, so we'll see each other right, so then obviously we meet and then we'll talk and then I'll express my feelings about our relationship in an elegant and poetic type of way."

He clapped his hands loudly startling everyone one in the room. "Okay, I'm good to go."

"Good luck" Felix called out to him.

"Yes _good_ luck,_good_ is the keyword there; positive energy, positive vibes." Ron twisted the doorknob pulled the door open and walked out.

"I thought we were trying to get him to lean towards Allison?" Phil pointed out.

Ritchie shrugged. "Eh, what're you gonna do, he's an addict……he's addicted to the redhead, you can't get past an addiction unless you want to. So leave him to his own devices I say…what do you think Felix?"

"Well I've kind of flipped on the whole thing, sometimes you can't help but think there's something really special about those two."

Holo-Ron suddenly spoke up "I'm feeling that, man the mathematical odds of them even becoming friends is outrageous, trust me I've done the calculations, but you go with what works knamean……anyway the important question here is; what's the honey to gangsta ratio in the school?"

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The wind blew leaves over the well kept grass of the tranquil garden. XBF Ron who was dressed in white sat upon the grass with his legs drawn up under the body so that he was actually sitting on his heels. Before him is an un-lacquered wooden table, holding a sake cup, a sheaf paper handmade from mulberry bark, writing accoutrements and a _kozuka _or in simpler terms a disemboweling blade.

XBF Ron shut his eyes. "I will now read my death poem……"

So goodbye yellow brick road  
Where the dogs of society howl  
You can't plant me in your penthouse  
I'm going back to my plough

Back to the howling old owl in the woods  
Hunting the horny back toad  
Oh I've finally decided my future lies  
Beyond the yellow brick road.

XBF Ron opened his eyes, picked the sake from the table and took a long sip. Samurai sword in hand. Now Hopelessly in Love Ron stood behind him ready to perform the final act of the ritual.

After a moment of meditation B.F.F Ron picked the kozukaoff the table and it to XBF Ron.

"I concede defeat; I now leave things in the hand of the victors. May the heavens guide Ron down the path of happiness."

XBF plunged the dagger into his midsection; he then made a cross cut from left to the right and then upwards, slicing the abdomen.

Seconds later NHIL Ron brought the sword down; ending the ritual with a final quick cut.

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_There she is right across the street. I always knew we'd get back together. _

"Yo! KP!"

_I knew it would just be a matter of time. _

"Ron!" Kim spotted him and rushed across Campus Road to catch up with him.

_We meant too much to each to give thing up so easily I'll say Kim I'm thinking me in a suit you in a white dress and a rabbi/priest in a t-shirt and blue jeans….wait I may be getting too far ahead of myself._

They embraced upon meeting. "Ron, are you okay?"

_Time for my big speech, just like in the movies_ "Yeah, I'm fine."

"KP…..Kim… I figured it out."

"What?"

"I don't care if you love me or not."

She looked at him confused.

"As long as I'm with you then I'm happy, that's all that really matters."

"Ron what are you saying?"

"What I'm saying, is that… okay… eventually I'd hope we can get on the same page. But it's only the actions that matter right, we're good to each other right? The time we spend together….when we're together its feels right doesn't it? I've changed I'm not so worked up about the L word anymore. I mean how would I have known that you really meant it anyway? I wouldn't so it doesn't matter"

"Ron…."

_This time I'll make sure I never lose her again_

"Kim just looking ay your face and I'm hooked again….just being with you is good enough….."

She was strong and the slap resounded through the area, but Ron didn't do as much as turn his head. He did not respond immediately. He just stared at her for a moment the left side of his face burning with her hand print.

Twin trails of tears came down both sides of her face as Kim lifted her hand and softly caressed the cheek with her handprint.

"What happened to your eye?" She said referring to puffiness around his eye that would most likely be a black eye in the morning.

"Karma" He replied and she knew immediately what he meant.

He reached for the hand she hand on his cheek and gave it a gentle squeeze and pressed it against his face, he felt like crying himself. "I got it wrong again didn't I?"

Her tears were in full flow now, tiny streams cascaded down her face. Kim grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him close she sobbed in his arms.

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Odin was a tall, vigorous man, with dark curling hair and a long grey beard. He was clad in a suit of grey, with a blue hood, and his muscular body was enveloped in a wide blue mantle flecked with grey. In his hand was the infallible and sacred spear Gungnir, and on his finger he wore the marvelous ring, Draupnir, precious beyond compare. Seated upon his throne two ravens, Hugin and Munin, perched upon his shoulders whispering into his ears news of all they had seen and heard.

"Mighty Odin." Cried Þórólf Thunderfist. "I've traveled far and wide to see thee. Now please, tell me what is to become of us Vikings."

Odin ran his fingers through his beard. "How could anyone predict the future?"

Þórólf Thunderfist glanced over his shoulder confused "Are you serious? Aren't you the all powerful, all seeing Odin? I've heard the legends of your fortune telling."

"You see the only way that fortune telling could work is if the future is definite. If the future is definite it wouldn't matter if I told you, because it can't be changed. That would be like me warning you about something in your past. The only reason why we can change the future is because it hasn't happened, the only reason I'd be able to see it is if it was concrete."

"Err……… I don't get it…"

"See, if I said in twenty years a tree will fall on you that would mean there's no way to change that because I've seen it just like I can see the past."

"So…….. you can't tell the future? ...So I wasted my time coming here. I did all this for nothing?! I lost three boatloads of good men on this journey!"

"What do you mean you did all this for nothing? You travelled across the ocean, faced impossible storms, you fought treacherous sea monsters, conquered vicious foreigners, and you even battled the mighty Thor to a standstill."

"So?"

"So…..? What do you mean so? Didn't you learn anything about yourself through all the hardships?"

Þórólf Thunderfist pondered on Odin's question "I don't know, I feel a bit strange, not quite my old self and not revised enough to be a new self."

"Well there you go!"

'There I go what?"

"You learned something."

"Did I?"

"You tell me."

Þórólf Thunderfist sighed heavily "Whatever… Listen, I saw some gold back there I'm just going to take that, head back to my village, and I'll get out of your hair."

"Oh yeah, take the gold." Odin scoffed. "Who cares about self discovery, who cares what the _wise_ and _powerful_ Odin has to say."

Þórólf Thunderfist turned away from the throne. "Yeah, I'll see ya when I see ya.'

"Ingrate!"

And so Þórólf Thunderfist returned to his village slightly richer but disappointed. Though he did find on thing particular, after the journey he no longer saw the world in the same way again. Old mistakes were no longer committed, he began to see the bigger picture in things, he learned to appreciate thing more. And he realized that Life is pretty much in the grays for the most part and if you insisted on either black or white... you are going to be very unhappy.

The End

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"Happy anniversary Drs P!" Ron bowed down to the ground. "Please accept this gift as an apology for spending two months out of contact. You've been like a mom and dad to me for years and what happened between me and Kim was no excuse for not keeping in touch."

Anne Possible rolled her eyes. "James, Ron is being a tad melodramatic don't you think?"

"Melodramatic?" James smiled. "Are you sure, I don't seem to be picking up on it."

Ron picked himself up. "You guys aren't upset?"

"Well you are right about one thing; you shouldn't have kept out of touch for so long…" He took a peek inside the gift box Ron had given them. "You are part of the Possible posse after all…..ooooh tickets to Lez Mis…….we might have even been able to help."

"At the time the thing between Kim and I was beyond help Mr. P."

Anne sighed. "Oh dear, I guess I'll have to wait a little longer for my grandchildren…….Oh honey, we should go next weekend!"

Ron ran his right hand down the back of his neck. "Uh… grandchildren? Mrs. P Kim you're being really optimistic, there's a chance Kim and I won't get back together, we've barely talked in the last few days."

"Oh of course, I understand completely" She glanced at her husband. "So Ron why are you here?"

"Well, uh, I knew Kim was gonna spend the three day weekend with her folks, you know, for the anniversary party… so I thought I might as well do the same you know hang out at home….and while I was there I decided 'Hey! I should try and patch things up with her 'rents since I'm here' and um… well, here we are."

"Ron you were invited to the anniversary party tonight weren't you?" James Possible.

"Yep, I was, you're right about that. Kim told me about it, but see the thing was I didn't think I'd come because I thought I'd, I figure she'd probably want some space and it would be better we kind of…….so anyway I thought I'd give you guys the gift now and maybe I'd see Kim in school or whenever. You know… hang on loosely right?"

"Kim's not here." Anne Possible said suddenly. "She left about half an hour ago; she said something about going to your house."

"A half-hour ago? I was at Bueno Nacho! I must have missed her!" Ron blurted out. "I mean….really? That's surprising…..well I'd better get going." He turned to leave.

"Oh and Ron, don't forget…"

"Yes Mrs. P?"

"Anne is a lovely name for a little girl."

"Now hold on dear, we could always use another James' in the family. What little boy wouldn't be proud of a name like James?"

Ron opened his mouth to reply but he stopped himself deciding it was best to just leave. Things were getting too strange for him to hang around any longer, so he left the Possibles giggling in his wake.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey…"

He found her in his room sitting on the edge of his bed, reading something; she looked up at him and smiled.

And he melted

"Hey…..your parents let me in."

"Right."

"I was reading this." She held up a collection of papers hastily stapled together. "The adventures of Þórólf Thunderfist, it's pretty funny."

"You liked it?"

"I did, there were a couple of, y'know… grammatical and spelling errors but its still an entertaining read."

"Entertaining that's what it's all about." He walked further into his room, up to this point he had been standing near the entrance. "I'm thinking up entering the story into a short story contest. But I don't think I'm really cut out to be a real writer or anything."

"You never know…..I think you should definitely give it a shot."

"Yea…..maybe….."

"Hey." Kim said with urgency, not wanting for the room to fall into silence. "Check this out." She held up her hand and pushed a button on her Kimmunicator.

"I had Wade upload this to the Kimmunicator so I could watch it whenever I want."

Bonnie showed up on the screen behind a podium _"As the head of the Kappa Sorority I would like to say that am disgusted by the constant hate being thrust upon such an upstanding citizen like Ron Stoppable; a close, dear, personal friend of mine I might add. It with a heavy heart that as Kappa Queen I cannot allow my sisters to throw or be seen at any on campus party for as long as this injustice continues. For those of you who think you can throw a party as good as we can, come on… Everyone knows it's not a real party unless it's a Kappa Party. In addition I will not be dating, scheduling dates or taking applications for dates, until the world is right again. Thank you for your time."_

Kim shut off the recording. "Its classic"

Ron plopped himself down on a beanbag chair. "The funny thing isn't she didn't need to do it. Ian's been playing like a man possessed and Buzzy's ankle turned out to be fine."

"I know it all worked out in the end." She replied softly. "Do you hear music?"

Ron ran his finger through his right ear. "I think so."

"Oh well." Her gaze then fell down to her lap. "Ron do you know why I hit that night?"

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "KP, I kind of have any idea but it doesn't…"

"Ron… that night when you were talking and you saying were such sweet things, and I was nearly there, but than I _heard_ what you were saying and it was so wrong. What you were willing to do… I mean, why should you choose to be in relationship where all you do is give and take? What kind of fool would want that kind of unfulfilling relationship? Why would someone do something stupid? Why would anyone want to be with someone so cruel Ron?"

"Look, I understand, I didn't really think things through….."

"But it's my fault that you were thinking that way. My actions led up to this, all these hurt feelings, the mob, the fight……Ron there's no reason at all for you to want to be with me. I don't deserve it. You really should leave while you have the chance."

He needed to change subjects, anything to pull out of this pit of darkness they were sinking into. He then realized that her hair was noticeably shorter.

"But I don't want you to leave Ron," she quivered slightly "I want you to stay… with me…..I need you Ron….Without you I'm not even myself…….I knew it that night…..and I've known it for a long time…

"Wait a minute." Ron said incredulously. "Are… are you trying to _win _me back…?"

She blushed. "I guess…if you'd take me back"

He was about to collapse from amazement but his attention for some reason went back to her hair "okay… this is probably not the best time for this… but I just gotta know, what happened to your hair?"

Kim patted her hair down. "Oh that… I… well you sister came at me with a pair of scissors, and… well… she said it was punishment for playing mind games with you."

"She actually said mind games?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, I've gotta go talk to her."

"Ron it's alright."

"No, this is not cool." He walked to entrance of his attic room but didn't get far. "I think she locked us in."

He stomped on the ground. "Han! Let us out!"

The faint music that Kim had heard earlier suddenly became exponentially louder.

_In my brain, see your face again. I know my frame of mind; you ain't got to be so blind. And I'm blind so blind_

"I'm pretty sure Rufus is in on this as well." Ron shouted over the music. "We're stuck in here!"

"For how long?!"

"No idea!" Ron started to search the room for something they could use to pry the door open. "So you liked the story huh?" he threw out offhandedly

"Yeah, you know it would make a great comic book. You should talk to Allison about that!"

Ron straightened immediately. "What?!"

_But I'm a woman, can't you see what I am. I live and breathe for you. What good does it do, if I ain't got you If I ain't got you. If I ain't got you If I ain't got you_

"You should talk to Allison about this!" Kim repeated. "She's pretty nice; she might help out with that"

"Did you just say she's pretty nice?"

"Oh I forgot to tell you! You left your phone at her place when you went to apologize, I called you up that day to try and warn you about the mob, and Allison picked up, we've talked on and off since then!"

Ron was stunned. "You talked…? About what?"

He could hear the sounds of giggling beneath his feet as the music grew even louder. "About you! I guess and other stuff……..You should talk to her about your story. I don't know much about comics but I'd think it would work!" she screamed.

"You don't mind me working with Allison?"

_Say you don't know, what it's like. Baby you don't know what it's like, to love somebody. To love somebody, the way I love you_

Kim paused for a moment to think it over. "No, actually I think it's a really good idea. She sounds like a real professional, you guys might be able to do something really spankin!" she said truthfully.

_Oh'a, you don't know what it's like. Baby you don't know, what it's like._

"Ron, are you ok?"

He stared at her intensely and then without warning he knocked away all the clutter in his path and made a beeline straight for her. He cupped her face with both of his hands and pulled her close; his mouth met hers in a kiss so abrupt, so instantly passionate it stole her breath.

He slowly pushed her backwards, pressed her against the wall with his body against her from head to foot, and deepened.

Kim broke away and panted. "Ron I…"

His lips grazed hers again. "I know... I know….I love too KP" he whispered into her ear

Her mouth opened, and moved over his possessively, he tilted his head allowing him the advantage he needed just to kiss her harder. "I guess we're on the same page." He gasped.

"Cept' we should have gotten there at the same time."

"I don't think the timing really matters if we've both reached the same conclusion." With that he let himself get lost in another kiss.

_To love somebody, to love somebody, the way I love you._

* * *

This only the second multi chapter story I've finished in two years on this site...Hilarious 

Thanks for reading folks I hope you enjoyed it, cuz it was a beast to write.

AH I've got thanks these folks as well. I mean hey they didn't think the story was good enough for a fav but heck it was good enough to get an alert :) If you're on both lists than you're only going to get thanked once lol

Brimmstone, Comet Moon, Daeron Blackoak, Harufu, Isamu, Lilevilgreenmonkey, Louis Mielke, MdReez, Meca Vegeta, Naduni, Nerdman, Novacaine98, Quis Custodiet, RamaFan, Rorax, Rpgking7, Samurai Crunchbird, SassMasterGeneral, Sephiroso, SolarinStudio, TexasDad, Tormax, Trilobitemk7, Visigoth29527, Zooc, armydude, bAybee Kay, bunnysitter20, covenant05, cpneb, momike, motorized-sasquatch, neolanky, rye.bread, whitem, zardoz101

Alright like some feedback on the last chapter and a few specific things

1) Elizabeth: Admittedly enough didn't start out British until I was writing for her and the only voice that came to my mind for her was British.

2) I know the Bonnie/Ritchie subplot must feel ahem half $$$-ed I hope I brought it all together there at the end.

3) Tweebs: I thought they were pretty hilarious

4) Ron/Allison and Kim/Ian I think the Ron Allison came out great, Kim/Ian not so much

5) K/R of course I'm really not sure what the reaction will be...I had to rewrite the K/R reunion sequences four times before I got one I felt comfortable with it.

Ok that's there will be an epilogue in the future kind of flash forward and hopefully everything will work out.


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